(Note from Linda: What a blessing it was for FAM members to read the following “Homecoming Testimony (another new category now on the private FAM Fellowship website), which Karla posted for Russell last night! We are all so blessed to have the insight we’re now getting from our members’ spouses after their marriages have been restored, and I particularly thank Russell for sharing his Prodigal Perspective with us, and for letting me share it here as well; because I know it will be a great blessing to many others standing for marriage restoration in the face of their spouses’ intense anger. It’s also interesting to note that a common theme we hear from prodigals when they do come home is how much the Lord was talking to them and how they struggled with their decision much longer than their spouses ever would have suspected! That’s why God in HIS infinite wisdom tells us NOT to lean to our own understanding and to TRUST HIM WITH ALL OF OUR HEARTS as we acknowledge Him in ALL of our ways and that HE will make our paths straight and the justice of our cause shine like the noon day sun (Proverbs 3:5-6 and Psalm 37:5-6)! And there’s no way to measure the way we are blessed and encouraged when we get that and truly live in peace because we FINALLY LET GO AND LET GOD (1 Corinthians 7:15-16 and 1 Peter 3:1-15)!)

*****
When I left Karla and our children for the last time in April of 2008, I believed there was no other way. I believed that the situation was hopeless, that our marriage was over, and that there was nothing that anyone could say or do that would change that. But I know now that I was deceived by the enemy.

When I left, I moved into a small but light filled apartment with four white walls. While I had four white walls and a bright room, all I could see was darkness, and all I could feel was loneliness. That was because of the anger. To say that I was angry when I left would be a major understatement. The blame game was on and it was all Karla’s fault. If it wasn’t her fault, then it was someone else’s fault, but it was not mine. I am sure that at some point, Karla has said that she played the blame game too. What we have both come to realize is that the enemy is very crafty, because he had taken two people who loved each other with everything they had, and pitted them against each other, so they blamed each other for anything and everything. I believed she was the enemy, and I am pretty sure that she looked at me the same way for a period of time.

When we leave, we are so angry that the anger covers over any sense of reason. In the beginning, I honestly cannot say that I had anything deep down telling me that I was doing something wrong. However, I do know that the anger prevented me from thinking clearly. To make things worse, any time Karla reminded me of how God hated divorce, or how wrong I was; it was like a knife in my back. I felt that she was acting as if she had some sort of moral authority over me, and that angered me even more.

And when I was angry, I could not hear a word Karla said, God said, or what anyone else said for that matter. But as time passed, and as the anger faded, I became calm, and I began to hear her again. I began to hear peace in her voice, and see peace in her spirit. She was no longer talking about the marriage or the past. And she was in a good mood when I saw her and seemed to be “going with the flow.” Nothing seemed to rattle her anymore, and that was a big change for the better. She kept it light when she saw me; whether she was wishing me the best in life or work, or relaying a funny story about something the kids had done that day. Something definitely changed, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I was sure that it was good, but at the same time, I didn’t know if it was real or permanent, and if I could trust it.

On top of being able to hear Karla, something else drastically changed, and now I could hear God too. I have since learned that what happened was that Karla had really and truly “let me go.” Yes, I could now hear God and He was talking to me. Sometimes He talked to me in a dream. And sometimes He talked to me through our kids, but a lot of times, He talked to me through Karla. Little did she know that I was listening to her like I had never listened to her before. I watched her very carefully too; she seemed so peaceful. And I had to know if I could believe what I was seeing and hearing.

Many times during our marriage, and even during our separation, Karla would say “You just have to trust God, and He will work out the details.” or “Trust God and leave the consequences to Him.” She wasn’t saying that to me, but in reference to herself or a situation. And at one point, she said one of those two things and something happened. I could not get it out of my head. It was like someone had engraved it in my brain. I kept saying it to myself over and over again and thinking “What did she mean when she said that? What does that mean?” I know there was at least one night where I did not sleep, because that was all I could think about. Then one day, it hit me; God wanted me to trust him with my marriage, and if I did, He would work it out, even if I could not see how He would do it. Of course, I know now that God was speaking to me, and He wasn’t going to stop. I knew God had brought me to the door of marriage restoration, but I had to walk through it, and I had to walk through it myself. There was nothing anyone could do or say to bring me home; yet I felt I was being pulled in that direction, and I knew I had to take that leap of faith and trust Him.

Trusting God enough to walk through that door was the hardest thing I ever did, but it has been the most rewarding thing I ever did too. God has blessed me more than I could have imagined. He has been working out all the details just like He said He would.

I thank God for bringing me to that door, and Karla for letting me walk through it myself. To all of you standing for your marriages, please know that God will bring your spouse to that same door if you let Him. Please pray for your spouse, and if you have not let them go, I urge you to do so; only then will they be able to hear what God has been trying to tell them all along.

God bless you, Russell

The reason “faith” is the first word in the name of our marriage restoration ministry is because if we don’t have faith in God and REALLY believe Him, we won’t live in the righteousness, peace and joy of the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17) or bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23); much less see the SUPERNATURAL manifestation of the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families. And supernatural means just that; something that is beyond and/or exceeds the natural-and marriage restoration is something WE can’t possibly do in the natural; which means that we have to rely on God to do it in the realm of the SUPERNATURAL. That obviously means that we need the favor of God as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, and just as with humans; the way to assure God’s favor is to PLEASE HIM! And according to Hebrews 11:6, …without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. In fact, Hebrews 10:38 takes that a step further and declares…But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.”

Therefore, as we stand for marriage restoration, it’s very important to understand that the ONLY way to develop and remain in the faith needed to fully access the SUPERNATURAL power of God Almighty is to get serious about reading, studying and understanding His Word, because as Romans 10:17 states, Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. So despite devising all sorts of ways to grow in our walk and relationship with the Lord; there is NOTHING more significant to our walk than the Word of God. And though there are many other passages demonstrating how important the Word is to our walk with the Lord and as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, two of my favorites are Luke 6:46-49 and John 15:7, which says If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. So for those struggling with faith and/or obedience while standing on the power and promise of God’s Word for marriage restoration, the most important thing YOU can do is make getting into God’s Word a top priority, because without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God-and You will be totally amazed by how much your life and circumstances change when you do!

Recent conversations about the importance of faith and REALLY trusting God as we stand for our marriages, reminded me of a previous Seeds Of Faith post, Walking by Faith Demands Being Watchful and Giving Thanks!; probably because it was a bit of a departure from my usual post. But it is a good analogy of how we treat God when it comes to remaining faithful no matter what we see or hear in terms of waiting for our prayers for marriage restoration to be answered. So I hope it will really bless and encourage anyone still struggling to stand. And the following message, which Dan posted on the private site this week, points out another important reason our faith is so important and how it makes such a difference in our lives and in the lives of those we love. So put your faith in the Lord, where it is sure to reap a bountiful harvest, and you will indeed be blessed and encouraged!

How our Faith Works Powerfully in our Families by Dan Spitz

This past Sunday, the sermon at my church was on Luke 5:18-26 and was titled the “The Greater Miracle.” The pastor pointed out that it was not the paralyzed man’s faith that impressed Jesus but the faith of his friends. And Jesus responded to their faith and healed the man. Of course there are certainly other messages in that passage of scripture, but the one that spoke to me is that for better or worse, our faith affects other people.

People are watching us, so we have a wonderful opportunity to witness for God. We can’t make another person a believer or follower of Jesus Christ, but we can do much through our words, actions, and love to give him or her a chance to respond to the Lord by the way we live. Just like the friends of the paralyzed man, we can, through our faith, bring them to Jesus and let Him heal them and restore them. We can show that Jesus is God and that He has the power to heal both body and soul. And we have to remember that guilt and shame can sometimes cause more harm and damage than physical illness or paralysis. So let’s expect God to act in our spouses’ and children’s lives; not just because of their faith but because of our faith in His Word and His promises.

(Note from Linda: The FAM members were once again blessed by the following testimony from Stephanie sharing The Prodigal Perspective, which I’m sure will bless everyone standing for marriage restoration and struggling to understand their beloved spouses’ behavior, because it’s such an important message. As Proverbs 19:22 states, What a man desires is unfailing love. …, and understanding that helps us better understand the works of the devil because he very effectively uses that against us and our prodigal spouses. As humans, when we don’t feel loved, we tend to look for it elsewhere and then having found what we thought was love in all of the wrong places, we understandably find it impossible to believe that the person whose love we already doubted could ever forgive and love us again. Yet, men and women standing for marriage restoration all say that they love their spouses more now than ever before, which is something ONLY God can do! But it’s important to note that love is something we DO according to 1 Corinthians 13 and not just words we say, and when we demonstrate unconditional love on a consistent basis, we will see the hand of God move on our behalf and our marriages restored. So let’s learn to show the love of Jesus and we will be blessed and encouraged! Because according to God, love is greater than either faith or hope!)

*****
Hello my FAMM family! I wanted to write another post because something reminded me of my “prodigal moments” and I feel it’s really important to share with all of you.

I actually felt good about sharing my experience as a prodigal in my last posts, but as I became more and more at peace, the enemy showed up and tried to keep me from sharing again. My husband had stayed with me and our kids for a few days and then started going back to his mom’s, so there were times when I needed to read my own posts for strength. Of course, the enemy told me how terrible it was that I was reading my own posts…how could I help others when I can’t even help myself…and lots of other crazy stuff. At first, I was agreeing with him and feeling really bad, but then the Holy Spirit stepped in and showed me the lie I was being fed. He took me down memory lane and reminded me of all the things the enemy had told me when I was a prodigal. Satan was just up to his old tricks again, but he’s a loser and God is on my side! Praise God!! So I want to use my testimony about the time I was held in Satan’s captivity to help others stand and to glorify God!

The Holy Spirit gently reminded me of the time when as a prodigal, I felt –I had gone too far to be forgiven. And I was convinced that I was unlovable and that there was no way my spouse would take me back. I can assure you all that if your prodigal spouse is not there already, they will be there at some point. The illusion of happiness, contentment and being fulfilled without you, our spouse, is just fleeting and temporary. But then Satan tells us that we’ve gone too far this time and that you would never forgive us. He reminds us of what friends/family might think and that no one will accept us or get past our sin. And he reminds us of how disappointed God must be with us, how unworthy we are to call ourselves Christian (to those of us who are), and how unworthy we are to call ourselves someone’s “husband” or “wife.” (John 10:10) So as prodigals, we begin to not only hate our sin, but ourselves. We don’t love ourselves, so how could anyone else love us?

So when you see our up and down emotions, that’s usually when we are battling our sin and our emotions toward that sin. We don’t know what to do, where to turn, or who to turn to. Surely not God; we’ve turned our backs on him for too long. So where do we go for help; for comfort; for love?

Are you ready, guys-this is YOUR cue. Camera, lights, action—-you’re on-show us! Show us that YOU love us. (Hosea 3:1)
When we believe we’ve gone too far and we don’t know how to get back to you—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Ephesians 2:4-5)
When we have spent countless days/hours hearing Satan’s condemnations and we speak/behave badly towards you (because we are angry/disappointed in ourselves)—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Psalm 86:15)
When we indicate or tell you that we don’t love you (because we don’t love ourselves and can’t imagine why you would)—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Psalm 36:5)

By doing that, you are the reminder of God’s love that we so desperately need. So show your spouse the love of Christ within you. That is what your prodigal sees that makes them look at you with awe, with delighted confusion, and amazement. How can you love us (the prodigal) considering everything we’ve done? What they don’t realize is that it is not you alone; it is Christ within you. (John 15:9 and 1 John 4:4)

He has brought us all to this journey to show us how much he loves us. He has changed our hearts and has given us an unshakable compassion and love for our spouses. Why? And why the spouse that has hurt us so deeply? Because YOU are the ONE FLESH partner and you are no longer two people but ONE!!! (Matthew 19:5) YOU are the one who holds HIS PROMISE and COVENANT! God knows what is happening on the other side of the mountain. He knows the situation your prodigal is in and He hears the destructive and hurtful lies the enemy is speaking to your spouse. So God uses YOU, the person he created for your spouse to INTERCEDE for him/her. God does not want your spouse to be deceived by Satan, so your stand is two fold; for yourself and your closer walk and obedience to God and for your spouse and their deliverance and salvation or return to the Lord. You are the divine part of your spouse that God will use to show them that they are not so far gone that God’s love can’t bring them home. Please, there is no one else that we really trust to show us love more than YOU (not even the NCP). And one day your marriage will be restored and you will get to share with your spouse all about God’s love!!!

With all my love,
Stephanie

P.S. Even if your spouse is not with an NCP, your command to love still applies!

(Note from Linda: Teresa shared the following post on the private site today and it really is such an important message for everyone standing for marriage restoration! God does NOT want or expect us to be idle as we wait for HIM to work out the restoration of our marriages. And my experience in marriage restoration ministry has shown me repeatedly that the more dedicated we are in preparing ourselves for marriage restoration and understand that our stand is for His purpose and for His glory, the sooner we see Him move SUPERNATURALLY on our behalf! God never expects us to just mark time while we idly wait for a miracle to take place; that brings no glory to the Lord and does nothing to prepare us for the work He has purposed and planned for us. So this is a very powerful testimony and something everyone standing for marriage restoration really needs to take to heart as we consider how it can be applied to our lives. As Rick Warren so famously wrote It’s not about you! And the more we make it about us, the further from marriage restoration we remain. So let’s get up every day and ask God what HE wants us to do for Him and His kingdom that day, and be prepared to be blessed and encouraged as He pours His blessings out in our lives and in the restoration of our marriages!)

*****
Hi FAM Family. I have had a post brewing in me for a couple of days, so I decided to sit down and write it this morning. I was listening to a testimony the other day of a woman who spent the first half of her life in the muck and mire of life. She began using drugs in high school and that continued to the point of losing every job she had. She worked in radio and television, but went to work high every day. She then started a band and her drug use was even too intense for the band and they left her. She also had intense rage in her life, so people would always leave her. She got to the point where she was cooking her drugs and selling them. And then she would do her own collecting when payment wasn’t made, which was a very dangerous thing as she dealt with big time biker gangs. And she ended up in a war with them and they were trying to kill her. And after many arrests over the years, a judge finally said no more bail…you are going to prison. And she was sentenced to thirteen years.

While in her cell the very first night, the Holy Spirit came upon her and she prayed in the Spirit for several hours. As time went on, she began reading the bible and she read it through three times in four months. So she began ministering to the other inmates, which was quite a testimony since she did nothing but fight and cause trouble in the beginning.

She then shared a revelation she had one day, while reading one of our favorite scriptures, which was Jeremiah 29:11. Earlier in that passage, the Lord told the captives to build houses, plant gardens and eat of the fruit; to have families and increase there numbers. And He said to seek the peace of the city where He CAUSED them to be carried away too and pray to the Lord for it; for in its peace you will have peace. What God showed her was that while we are in “captivity” so to speak, he wants us to grow, live, learn and to have peace because He has caused these things for His purpose. He uses these times to prepare us for the purpose He has for us. And she began to rejoice in being imprisoned because she realized this was the training ground for the rest of her life with God. Now she travels all over the world and speaks to thousands of “captives” in prisons. She understood that the “captive” part of her life was so essential for the work God wanted to do in her and through her.

So it is of the utmost importance that we really examine our hearts and ask God to show us our motives for our stand for marriage restoration. Do we want our marriage restored because we are lonely? Or because we feel shamed that we are single or perhaps like failures? Do we want it for financial security, or any kind of security for that matter? The only secure thing in this life is Jesus Christ. And we are where we are for a reason and God wants our motives to be His motives only. Look at how this ministry and others like it are growing. He is raising up a people who will speak His truth in a very relative world. And we are those people. He is commissioning us for His mighty work and we need to be VERY focused and realize that this is our training ground. It does NOT matter what are spouses are doing or not doing; they are God’s responsibility and He is more than capable of handling them. We must focus on our responsibility and learn and be faithfully committed to everything God is asking of us. He knows we will falter at times, but He has all that worked out in His plan and it is all factored in as well. He loves us and is gracious and patient with us. All He wants is for our hearts to be open and willing and He will do the rest. So let’s take the peace that God has for us and look through eyes that are eternal and not temporal.

I love you all so much and praise God for you. In Christ’s love, Teresa

*****
Jeremiah 29:4-14 - This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon:
5″Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.
Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”
Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the LORD.
This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

(Note from Linda: Dan, shared the following on the private site today and the line he chose for the title is one of the most profound and powerful messages for every Christian I’ve ever heard. So I hope and pray that it is one we will all take heed to and learn to rely on as we continue to stand on the power and promise of God’s Word for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families, which we obviously can’t really do without KNOWING the Word of God! And to the extent that we do, we will indeed be blessed and encouraged!)

*****
I just finished reading, The Wonderful Spirit Filled Life by Charles Stanley. And as usual, I had an earlier discussion with someone last night about a particular topic, and God sent a clarification and message concerning our conversation. I want to share an excerpt from the book, which deals with unbelieving spouses; but more importantly, the fact that God has sent us His Word to guide and direct us in all we do. And the message is loud and clear, as Dr. Stanley points out, that the Bible is the mind of God in print and “It holds the keys for attaining and maintaining real success.” The Bible is the Holy Spirit’s most objective way of communicating with His people. He states, “If you want to know what the Holy Spirit thinks about something, read the Bible. It is the only way to know anything about Him. There is NO substitute.”

We are standing, not just for our marriages, but in obedience to the Word of God, who will be glorified by our stand and the restoration of our marriages. Be encouraged and blessed.

Dr. Stanley shared the following story:

“A man came into my office one summer and told me the Spirit had led him to divorce his wife. When I asked why, he said it was because she was an unbeliever. She was hindering his spiritual progress. He had prayed and prayed and finally received peace about filing for divorce.
I picked up the Bible, turned to 1 Corinthians 7, and read him these verses:

If any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through the
believing husband. ! Corinthians 7:12-14

He assured me he had read the verses. Then he assured me that God had released him of his obligation to his wife. He was wrong. How could the same Holy Spirit who moved Paul to instruct believing husbands to remain married to their unbelieving wives turn around and tell this man to do something different?

We must always allow the Word of God to stand as judge over our thoughts, feelings, and impressions. When we feel impressed to do A but the Word of God says to do B, we better do B. No matter how strongly you feel that the Holy Spirit is leading you, remember, the Holy Spirit will never lead you where the Word of God forbids you. Never! There are no exceptions.”

(Note from Linda: I couldn’t believe it when I logged on to the private site earlier today and read the following message from Diane! I had actually forwarded today’s Small Straws message from Marsha Burns to several FAM members who I knew were really struggling, so this is a very timely message. And if so many in our family are struggling, I have no doubt that many visitors to the site who are standing for marriage restoration are as well. So please take Marsha’s Small Straws message, along with Diane’s wisdom and encouragement to heart and I’m sure you will be blessed and encouraged in our Lord Jesus!)

*****
SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns -February 4, 2009:

I speak to those who have encountered recent situations and circumstances that have set up unseen roadblocks. You seem to have gotten stuck and do not feel like you can advance. This is because you have allowed these things to cause you to see yourself as overwhelmed and failing. But, I say to you, this is not the truth. This is a tactic of the enemy to frustrate and even embarrass you. Rise above your feelings of being blocked into the realm of the spirit and resist this attack, and purpose to move ahead, says the Lord.

Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

*****
Wow, I just read this and had a post coming to me all day and this just confirms it. God continues to amaze and lift me up. Things with my family and me are great and God continues to bless us in so many ways. So I pray that everyone will stand firm on God’s promises for their family and trust and believe that nothing is too hard for God.

I have been reading many messages about our attention being on God’s promises, and to keep His word in front of our eyes and in our ears until we see it coming to pass with the eyes of our spirit. We need to speak as though it is already here and to keep focusing on what God can do and not what we may or may not see. Nothing intimidates our God; nothing is bigger than Him. We need to remember that through Christ we can do all things, and that includes everything that we might have to walk through now. We have been given an assignment from God to do this and when He calls us to do something, He gives us everything we need to do it. And we cannot keep thinking that we can’t get through it or that we might not have heard God; we have to keep believing that He can and will restore all families. What He has done for one He will do for all. He doesn’t set us up to fail; He has not lost a battle yet.

Romans 5:2 says that we have access by faith into the grace of God. Therefore, stand by faith believing for your marriage, your family and the salvation of your spouse. Dare to believe God’s word and be the light in this dark world for families everywhere. People are watching and waiting to see how God does this and they are watching our attitudes as we walk through this. I can tell you that in time you will see the victory, and you will have the best that God has planned for you. So don’t let the devil steal, kill and destroy all that God has planned.

You need to let go of any bad attitude or talk that comes to you, you have to choose to be joyful even if you don’t feel joy. You need to get the spirit of faith to believe even when the devil is trying his best to defeat you. He still even tries to get me to believe that God has left me to fend for myself now, but we all know that he is a liar and a loser. The bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:13 that we believe, therefore we speak. So it stands to reason that if you want those circumstances to change, you have to have faith, in your heart and your mouth. Call those things that aren’t as though they are and believe God can restore your dead marriage and give you beauty for the ashes. This is a time for looking forward to what God is doing and not back at the pain of the circumstance. God is moving those mountains and He will complete the job; just believe and do not give up. LOOK UP and BELIEVE. Nothing is bigger than our God. Do not let fear steal away the victory God has in the works for you. Keep asking God to show you what He wants you to do and know that He is always faithful to be right there walking beside you.

I pray that this week you will write out God’s promises-they are for you, and remember all that He has already brought you through. He will never leave you nor forsake you. God loves you!

*****
You can sign up to receive the Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin and read Bill and Marsha Burns’ messages online on their website.

(Note from Linda: Lorraine’s Coffee Break devotional this morinng is such an important message for everyone standing for marriage restoration, because we all have to choose whether or not we are going to look at the circumstances and problems surrounding us or keep our focus steadfastly on the power and promise of God’s Word! As we know and written about in a previous Seeds Of Faith post, Keeping our Eyes on Jesus; when Peter was walking on the water, he was looking at and obeying Jesus, but the minute he started looking at the storm around him, he began to sink. And that’s the same way it is with us as we stand for our marriages and families! So let’s keep our eyes on Jesus and be blessed and encouraged as we trust and obey Him and see His majesty, glory, power and promises fully manifested in our lives and in the full and complete restoration of our marriages!)

****
“At that day shall a man look to his Maker, and his eyes shall have respect to the
Holy One of Israel.” Isaiah 17:7

Have you ever wondered why two cars driving on a straight road with no obstruction and clear visibility would collide with one another? We are told that it’s because they were each looking at the oncoming car and veered in the direction they were looking. When driving, or walking, you will go in the direction you are looking. If you look to the left you will start going to the left. If you look to the right you will start going to the right. If you are looking straight ahead you will go straight. This is a natural principle that holds true spiritually as well. That is why it is so important to be careful where you are “looking”.

The Bible says that Lot looked at the plains of Sodom and went in that direction. After he kept looking at the city of Sodom he wound up going into the city. David looked in the direction of Bathsheba and wound up committing adultery. Lot’s wife looked back at the judgment of Sodom and was judged. The disciples kept looking at Jesus and went in the direction He was going. Jesus looked in the direction of the will of the Father and went in that direction- to the cross.

We must keep looking to the hills where our help comes from. We must keep our eyes on the prize that is set before us. We must keep looking to Jesus the Author and
Finisher of our faith. We must keep looking with expectation for that glorious appearing of our Savior. We must look to the One who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all we can ask or think. We must look at the One who is our hope, our redemption,
our healer, our deliverer, our Savior and our soon coming King. We must keep our eyes off the world, the desires of the flesh, the devices of the enemy, the ways of men. We must keep them upon the Lord, His word, His promises, His will. We must be careful of where we are looking because that’s the direction we will start heading.

Have a great day. If you look at the world you will go the way/direction of the world. If you keep your eyes on Jesus you will go the way/will of the Lord.

*****
Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at [email protected]
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

We greatly appreciate and thank Lorraine for her permission to share and reprint her Coffee Break devotionals here to bless and encourage our visitors!

What a glorious and wondrous way to start off the New Year…WITH THREE SUDDENLY RESTORED MARRIAGES!!! And there’s no doubt that more will manifest very soon based on the awesome praise testimonies shared on the private FAM Fellowship site over the past few weeks and days! So, since we know that the devil is defeated, overcome and hurled down by the word of our testimonies (Revelation 12:10-11), I thank all three FAM members for their permission to share much of their Restored Marriage Testimonies and some of their After Marriage Restoration Testimonies here; which I believe, hope and pray will be a great source of enlightenment, support and encouragement for every man and woman standing for marriage restoration. Our God IS faithful and He will do EXACTLY what His Word promises when we just trust and obey! So be blessed and encouraged as you share in the joy and amazement of these families and remember that God is NOT a respecter of persons, and what He does for one, He will do for all! This will be VERY long, but I don’t really think anyone will mind that much! ?

The following Restored Marriage Testimony was posted by Becky on January 20th, and it came after a lengthy divorce process in which her husband was hindered at every turn, which ONLY happened by the hand of God considering the no fault divorce laws of their state!

My Husband is HOME!!!

I have wanted (and often started) to share what God has been doing for quite some time now, but things have been happening so quickly that it’s been hard to keep up with it all! I hardly know how to begin, but my husband is home now after being separated for over a year and a divorce process that was miraculously stopped on numerous occasions by the Hand of God. God has made a way where there was no way. And He has done for me what I could not do for myself, and I am so thankful for what He has done and what is to come.

It’s funny how we imagine how restoration is going to happen, and then when it happens, it is nothing like we expected and thought it would be. After obvious signs that his heart was softening, my husband just called last week to tell me he wanted to come home. I had always envisioned some “big bang” effect where SNO (spouse name omitted) would have a dramatic encounter with God, fall to his knees in repentance and be instantaneously changed. That would have been nice, but God’s ways are definitely not our ways!

Thank God for the things I have learned in this ministry over the last year and that I welcomed my husband back unconditionally. But I have to admit to being very nervous about it; especially since he is still dealing with some of the same issues that led to the breakup of our marriage to begin with. Yet, I felt in my spirit to love him unconditionally and now I have the opportunity to put into practice the things I have been learning about being a submissive wife with a quiet and gentle spirit, and truly loving and accepting him unconditionally as Christ loves us. And even if my husband does not obey the word, I know that without a word he may be won by my conduct. Wow, that is a tall order, but I am praying and asking God to strengthen me to be the wife I need to be; the wife I am called to be.

Sadly, many counselors (including Christians) would insist on placing stipulations and conditions when our spouses return. In fact, I told a church leader on Sunday that my husband was home now and all she had to say was, “You did make stipulations, didn’t you?” Thank God that HE doesn’t put us on “probation!” As I sat and read my Bible, the Lord led me to Colossians 3:12-15 (NKJV), which says Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful. And the commentary portion of my Bible describes Forgiveness as follows: “Forgiveness is made possible through Christ, who forgave us. It is an act in which one person releases another from an offense, refusing to enact the penalty due him or her, refusing to sustain consideration of the cause of the offense, and refusing to allow that offense to affect the relationship. Such forgiveness releases one from a sense of unresolved guilt, restores a clear conscience, and restores relationship. To forgive is not to condone the sin as acceptable, to say it made no difference, or to license repetition of it. Rather, forgiveness is a choice, a decision made to no longer hold an offense against another person.”

… I am so very thankful for this ministry and the encouragement it brings in how to stand for our marriages. I truly believe that if we will follow the principles we learn here, we will have the marriages God intends for each of us to have. I will speak life into my marriage, and I will reject the negative thoughts and anything that is contrary to God’s word!

I’d also like to share what the Lord showed me leading up to the return of my husband. As I shared recently, God led me to read Nehemiah and Ezra about the rebuilding of the walls of Jerusalem. Ezekiel 22:30 says, So I sought for a man among them who would make a wall and stand in the gap before Me on behalf of the land, that I should not destroy it, but I found no one. So we are called to make a wall and stand in the gap-interceding for our loved ones.

In Nehemiah 4 (NKJV), the wall is being rebuilt in spite of great opposition, and in verse 7, those who opposed the restoration of the wall became very angry that it was being restored and that the gaps were being closed. Likewise, the enemy is not at all happy with the restoration of our marriages and families. And as revealed in verse 8, he tries to confuse us and make us question what we are doing and our ability to do it. But we learn from verse 9 that the right response is to continue standing in the gap for restoration and to continue praying and set a guard against the tactics of the enemy. So we have to put on the whole armor of God to withstand the wiles of the devil. This passage also reveals that the enemy works through discouragement and threats, but as Nehemiah declared; we can’t be afraid of what the enemy is doing, and have to keep our eye on what God is doing!!! If God be for us, Who can be against us? And just as He did then, God will bring the plots of the enemy to NOTHING! As Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV) says, ”No weapon formed against you shall prosper. And every tongue which rises against you in judgment, You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me,” Says the Lord.

So I am determined that through the strength of the Lord, “I’m not coming off the wall.” No matter what tactics the enemy uses, I will remain at my post-a watchman on the wall, and I will continue to stand until I see complete restoration and deliverance as my Lord has promised. We are called to stand in the gap and as we encourage and admonish one another, the enemy will not be able to stop us and the wall will be completed in Jesus’ name and our families will be restored!

So I humbly ask for all of your prayers during this restoration process. Please pray that I mirror the love of God to my husband and will not be distracted by the tactics the enemy would like to use to get me off the wall-especially now.

*****

Then Becky posted the following seven days later, making it very clear why it’s so important to continue seeking support and encouragement AFTER MARRIAGE RESTORATION, and she has had to pass some BIG tests since that time. But she’s NOT coming off the wall and God is blessing and rewarding her mightily! And as with all of our After Restoration testimonies, sharing her experience and insight has truly been a blessing to other FAM members as well.

Thank you all for your Prayers, Support and
Encouragement!

I just want to say how much this ministry and all of you mean to me. SNO has been home for eleven days now! And I know for certain without the support of this ministry, I would not be prepared. I knew the real challenge would just be beginning, and it has, but my Lord is helping me to do what I was unable to do in the past.

Our first challenge was when my husband had been home just a few days and he announced that he wanted to go back to the other house to say goodbye to his friends. I was not happy about that and quite honestly I laid awake all night in anger and bewilderment wondering if this was going to work. I thought about just telling him if he was going to do that, he might as well take his things with him. Thank God, I did not take the bait! And when the time came for him to leave, I remained calm and surprisingly at peace. I prayed the whole time for him and actually enjoyed a little rest as things have been such a whirlwind since he came home. And I ended up falling asleep early. The next morning, I got up for church and noticed that he had left me a message on my phone that night saying that he was missing me. I just cried. And after church he had called to tell me he was on his way home. I welcomed him home and asked no questions and made no comments, which is a first for me! And we had a pleasant remainder of the day. I’m so thankful I didn’t shoot from the hip.

He called me yesterday at work and asked me to call my attorney and ask him to prepare the papers to have the divorce dismissed! I actually hated to call him as that is a part of my life I don’t ever want to think about and I didn’t want to hear any lecture or warning from him that I am making a big mistake. I did call and tell his secretary what I wanted and she told me she would have him call me.

Then later in the evening, SNO told me he is concerned that maybe we are moving too fast and wonders if it was a mistake to come home. And he was sullen for the remainder of the evening. When we got up for work this morning, he began to tell me his concerns and asked if I knew what I was getting into. He began to tell me that he had no intentions of giving up drinking; that he was not an alcoholic and all that stuff and that he didn’t want to fight with me. He wants his marriage to work, but he just doesn’t want to fight. Instead of giving him a lecture and arguing with him that he shouldn’t be drinking, I just told him that I will leave that between him and God and I am not here to be his judge. After that, things began to lighten up.

Now, saying that is one thing and practicing it is another. So I’m praying diligently for wisdom and an abundance of the fruits of the Spirit and to just concentrate on what I need to do and leave him in the hands of God. I keep reminding myself that God is big enough and capable enough to speak to him and tell him what he needs to do. And I remind myself of 1 Peter 3:1, which says Wives, likewise be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. God doesn’t need my help. In fact, I more than likely have been the obstacle by interfering and playing Holy Spirit. Actually when I think about it, I think it’s a pretty tall order just making sure I do what God wants me to be instead of obsessing on SNO.

Mark, I took your advice about the book “Love and Respect” and I ordered it and should have it any day now.

Thank you for all the words of encouragement, prayers and admonition. I feel so inadequate in myself to make these changes, but Paul said, When I am week, then I am strong so I will trust in God’s mighty power to transform me.

*****

Since Romans 4:17 encourages us to SPEAK things that are not as though they are, we believe in the importance of claiming our marriages restored before the actual manifestation in the natural realm when it’s obvious that our spouses’ hearts have turned back to us. And the following praise testimony from MNO (member name omitted), which was posted just a little over a month ago demonstrates the power of that and the importance and power of walking in humility and NOT leaning on our own understanding.

Praise God for MIRACLES!

WOW, I am so excited to type this right now, I am nearly shaking! God is SO good!! Praise God!

… When SNO moved out of the house, he agreed to continue paying me for his share of the household expenses. He usually stops by twice a month to drop off his checks. I was not expecting him to stop by until later this week, so I was surprised when I received a text message from him this evening asking if he could stop by to drop off his check. And as he was writing out the check, he started asking me about how to handle the finances in 2009. He does not feel that he should continue paying me the same amount as he is no longer living here.

My heart sank because I knew this conversation was coming soon. … He agreed that he will still pay me for his car and phone expenses, but he wants to reduce the amount he pays for the mortgage, utilities, and other household-related expenses. He said that his brother is moving into a smaller apartment next month, so he has found a new apartment for himself that he will be moving into at the beginning of February. He will not have the money to pay for his apartment and to continue paying me. I have comfort because I know that this is all part of God’s plan, He is in control. SNO can make all of these plans, but it will be God who directs his steps.

The “old” me would have tried to argue with him and justify why he should still be paying what he is paying me. His thoughts were posed as questions to me, as though he were looking for guidance. But my only response to his concerns was to ask him what his thoughts were and that he should do what he felt he needed to do. That part of the conversation ended with him requesting for me to give him a breakdown of the expenses so he could decide what he should pay me each month.

Then he brought up the attorneys. Ouch. We have not discussed divorce or legal separation for almost two months now. But he wanted to know where we stood with that. I was honest with him and told him that I have spoken to four separate attorneys and met with two of them in person. And the final consensus was that there was no benefit to getting a legal separation. I told him that for that reason I had dropped it because I knew that we have a mandatory separation period in our state before we can divorce. … He proceeded to tell me that we can start the paperwork soon. The subject was changed and was never brought up again.

He then went into the spare bedroom to pick up a few things. While we were in the bedroom, he told me that I can donate all of his clothing to Goodwill and that he has already purchased everything new. He said that he will eventually come back to go through everything, but he basically told me that he didn’t really want anything from our house. He also told me that he is planning to sell his bicycles. This broke my heart because those bicycles used to be his prized possessions up until a year ago. He was an avid cyclist and spent countless hours riding and racing those bikes, not to mention working on the bikes.

Despite everything that I mentioned above, the night was an overall good night with lots of catching up and laughing - BUT it got better! Before he was getting ready to leave, God nudged my heart and I knew this was the night to ask my husband for his forgiveness. I asked him if I could share something with him and he said yes. I had to pause for a minute or two because I felt myself getting emotional. But I managed to squeeze out an “I’m sorry.”

Then, it ALL came out. I told him that I am sorry for not being a good wife and for letting him down. I told him that I am sorry that I was so controlling with everything and that I did not give him the respect that he deserves. I apologized for shutting him out during the miscarriage. I told him that I get it now and that I don’t blame him for leaving! I also told him that I knew that my apologies do not change anything, but I wanted him to know that everything I was saying was coming from the bottom of my heart and that I love him no matter what happens. But I told him that I want to be his wife. I want to be the wife he deserves. We both started crying.

We held each other for a very long time and there were lots of tears. He kept telling me that there was no reason to apologize, that he was the one who is sorry. He told me that he should have been here for me and that he should not have walked out the way he did. He told me that he is very confused and that he has had many breakdowns. He told me that he misses me so much and told me that “you have no idea that you are the best.” He said that shortly after he left, he panicked because he realized what he had done and he didn’t know how to “undo” it. When we were holding each other, he told me that it felt so good. PRAISE GOD!

He also told me that it has been very hard for him to come over to the house because this is still “home” for him. He said he was very impressed with how I kept the house up (Christmas decorations, etc) during his absence, and that when he first saw the Christmas tree, it broke his heart because he wasn’t here for it. He also told me that he has noticed EVERYTHING, right down to the new earrings I have been wearing. I am wondering if I am living a dream right now! Praise God!

…He wanted to stay for the night, but this is the only night that he couldn’t because he has an important early meeting tomorrow morning and needed his suit. The night ended with me asking him if I could take him to dinner tomorrow night and his response was that he would really like that and he will contact me tomorrow. Praise God! I also want to praise God that his cell phone kept going off, but he didn’t take it off his hip once!

I give God ALL the glory, honor, and praise. When I first learned that he was coming over tonight, I prayed to God for a miracle and He certainly gave it to me.

I thought I might add that as I was driving home from my mom’s house last night, I passed a truck with one word displayed on the side, “steadfast”. I felt like this was a word from God. As I thought about it more, I slowed down and let the truck pass me. Sure enough, it said “steadfast” and then I noticed that the Bible verse John 3:16 was displayed on the back. Yes, God was speaking to me and telling me to be steadfast. I hear you God! I did not fully understand it last night, but today my thoughts were definitely under attack. And the word that kept me going was “steadfast” because I knew it was a specific message from God. We all must have unwavering faith.

All I can say is Praise God! He is in control! He has definitely been working on the other side of the mountain and I know He is going to complete all of the good work He has started!!

Linda, after we talked, I prayed and meditated on everything that has taken place, and I would like to faithfully claim my marriage as restored. So please move our names over there to the RESTORED MARRIAGE list! I have put all of my trust in God to complete what He has started. I know that He is not a half-way God;, He is the God of complete restoration!

*****

And four weeks later, with little contact from her husband in the meantime and numerous trials and tests, MNO posted the following praise testimony! She has known about the NCP from the very beginning, but her husband was not aware that she knew. And when the NCP started calling her and sending her email messages confirming what she already knew, MNO did NOT take the bait and still didn’t say anything to her husband until she felt led to do so that night. As it turns out, the only reason he was hesitating to come home was because he was afraid of how she would react when and if she found out! God is just SO good!

My Husband is now HOME!

I continue to lift my praises up to God for all of the miraculous work He is doing in this ministry. The sermon at church on Sunday was on praising God in all things and praising Him for victories, even before the victories have been revealed to us. So we should always sing and SHOUT out to the Lord!!

God has been doing a lot in the restoration of my marriage and He deserves all the glory, honor, and praise! Things have been happening quickly, and I am excited beyond words to share some praises with everybody. I apologize for not posting sooner, as I have been struggling a little bit with time management.

My husband is now HOME!! PRAISE GOD!! When we apply God’s word, the enemy will always be defeated!

I posted last week that I felt the Holy Spirit telling me to get our house ready and I admit that I did not move as quickly as I should have. But it all worked out because SNO and I had a great time on Sunday re-organizing closets, cleaning, and donating some old clothing to Goodwill. And I think he is excited about actually having closet and drawer space in our bedroom. This is embarrassing to admit, but I have always taken up all the space in our room, forcing him to keep his clothing in the spare bedroom. So it’s about time that our bedroom becomes “ours!”

It is awesome how God works and how He orchestrated everything that led to our restoration. God used something that brought so much strife into our relationship in the past to ultimately pull us back together. …

The enemy really does attack furiously before a big battle is won. On Saturday night, SNO informed me that he would be moving into his parents’ house, instead of moving back home. That news hit me like a ton of bricks because it seemed to me that all of the lies and deception that the enemy had been feeding me in the days that led up to that moment were coming alive and it completely contradicted SNO’s actions. So I started questioning everything in my mind. I was very upset and although I tried to hide it from SNO, I am sure he noticed. A part of me felt like I should not have done this, but I gave in and brought up the NCP.

Without accusing him of anything or giving him details, I mentioned to him that I had received a few interesting e-mails from the NCP. He was surprised because he didn’t know that she had contacted me, but he seemed very relieved and he even thanked me for bringing it up. He said that he wanted to discuss it with me, but he didn’t know how to bring it up. I praise God that He gave me this opportunity to tell SNO all of the GOOD that has come out of every aspect of our situation. I praise God because he told me that the day the NCP contacted me was the day that he broke things off with her and told her that he would be moving back home with me. I praise God that he told me he can clearly see how much I have changed. I praise God that he told me that he has been telling people that I have been reminding him of the “old MNO,” which I took to mean the MNO he fell in love with.

Even though we had that great conversation, while SNO was sleeping that night, the enemy’s lies consumed my thoughts and I spent time alone crying my eyes out because I felt that things were moving backward and I was questioning everything in my mind; despite many actions and words from my husband that clearly showed he would be moving home.

I attended church on Sunday morning and I praised God for everything! And shortly after I got home, SNO told me that he wanted to spend the day moving back home! HALLELUJAH and thank You, God!!! As we were packing up his belongings and moving them out of his brother’s apartment, I couldn’t help but think of Karla’s post describing all of those boxes as God’s divine erasers. And I can’t even describe the feeling I had when SNO handed his apartment key over to his brother. That’s when it really hit me – SNO is home! God is so good!

And I praise God that my husband has gotten over the worry of “What will people think?” I had not seen his brother for months; yet he gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek when he saw me and we interacted like nothing had ever happened. And then I heard SNO tell his friend during a phone conversation that he is working things out with me and he has moved back home! Praise God!!! And what is even more amazing is that I found out later that nobody even knew that we were talking, so he said this is going to come as a shock to everyone. And he said that his brother was probably very surprised when he got home and we were loading up my car with his belongings!!

I know that the enemy is now going to attack even stronger and in ways I probably have not yet encountered, so I am prepared to put on the full armor of God every day. I praise God for the trials that I have been through because He has shown me over and over again that the enemy is so easily defeated when we just lean on Him and not on our own understanding. When I look back to what happened over the weekend, I could have very easily undone so much of God’s good work if I would have listened to my thoughts instead of focusing on God and on what His word says.

Thank You, God!!!

*****

Then MNO (member name omitted) posted the following testimony and awesome praise over the weekend, and we are all rejoicing with her and her family too, especially since they have two precious little ones! MNO was unfaithful in her marriage and divorced her husband and he initiated another relationship as well. But we have seen the Lord working and transforming both of their hearts in amazing ways! What a powerful example of just why we can NOT afford to lean on our own understanding and why we have to trust God with ALL of our hearts and acknowledge Him in ALL of our ways as instructed in Proverbs 3:5-6! NO matter what we see and hear, we just have to believe and have faith that God is doing and will do EXACTLY what His Word promises!

God Answered my Prayer and I have my Husband Back!

First of all, Linda, I am sorry you are reading this instead of hearing my shout on the phone; it is late and I wasn’t sure if you would be up or not! I AM CLAIMING MY RESTORATION!!!

This week has been a week of uneasiness, confusion and some doubt on my part. I have had every emotion I think possible. I even told God I wasn’t ready because I saw the “Yuk” that I still had in me, and asked Him to break me and change my heart. The enemy has really been at work on me this week, but he gets no more credit than that in this post. This post is dedicated to my God…The God of the universe, the Most High God so Mighty on his throne. My Comforter, Savior, Redeemer, Restorer, the lover of my soul!!! He is so faithful and worthy of my praise! I sit in utter amazement as I try to put into words what my heart is feeling.

After an awful week with what seemed like nothing but conflict with SNO, I even prayed for him not to call me because I was scared of the outcome, BUT GOD turned it all around. Monday is our son’s birthday, so we had his birthday party today at the local park, and God gave us a beautiful day full of sunshine and temperatures that weren’t too cold. Thank you, God.

On Friday, my other son got sick with the virus his brother had last weekend, and I still had lots to do to get ready for the party. But I had to leave work early Friday to pick him up and take care of him. Needless to say, that through a kink into my plans for shopping. SNO had offered to keep him, but my selfishness and pride rose up and I told him I would get it done. I was obviously not being a submissive wife at that time; nor as Linda pointed out, very appreciative. So I took my son home and he slept for several hours and ate a little when he woke up. He held it down, so still being obtuse and hard headed, I took him shopping with me instead of letting his daddy keep him. I know…but God has ways of breaking us!!

We arrived at the Wal-Mart, … and just as we pulled into the parking lot, my son began throwing up again. I got upset and God spoke to me and said, “Why are you upset? You knew he was sick and had someone to keep him.” I knew God was reminding me that my behavior and the consequences were my own fault. I felt awful and now had vomit all in my truck! I cleaned him up and we made a very quick run into Wal-Mart and got what we needed.

… I had not talked to SNO since earlier and only sent him a text to let him know that our son was ok. This morning I only had a few minutes and logged on to FAM. I knew I needed some encouragement after the week I had and knew that I wanted God to be in control of this day. I had not been on long when Linda called me; saying that she just wanted to “check in” with me. But I believe God had her call me for a reason. … Thank you, Linda. I cried and told her I was scared of SNO all of a sudden and I didn’t understand my emotions this week. She reminded me how the enemy was working hard to destroy and steal my peace, witness and testimony, and how he attacks like that right before restoration. So we talked and she helped me a lot! So I prayed as I got dressed that this would be a day that God would orchestrate.

Some of the mothers called me about the party and I got behind on time, so I called SNO and asked if he could help me by picking up the cake and ice cream. He said yes and then went off on me like World War III! Of course, again not being very godly, I went on defense. I had missed a call from him earlier while I was in the shower and didn’t realize it with the other calls coming in and he was upset that I could talk to others, but not him. I tried to explain that I didn’t know he called, but it didn’t matter what I said and then the war was on! I even told him to stay home and I would get the cake! Yep, another not so good. But my God is! He called back and I started not to even answer, but I did and he apologized before I could. I told him I didn’t want to do this and he said he didn’t either.

The party was great, but my husband kept his distance. I tried to offer him food and something to drink or cake and he would only say no thanks or nothing at all and just shook his head. So I prayed for God to take over again. After the party, we all left and I didn’t hear anything from him.

Around 9:00pm tonight, the boys and I were at a gift shop my sister and I own in town, where we’ve been working to get ready for Valentine’s Day. And my sister does not believe in my stand. She does believe in God, but does not understand living by faith at this time and has questioned my stand several times. So she started questioning me about my stand again tonight; asking if I was sure that I had heard from God and saying how she didn’t agree with my beliefs concerning marriage and divorce. She was doing that when there was a knock on the back door. We just looked at each other since neither of us was expecting anyone and she went to open the door. It was SNO and he asked for me. I told her I would be back in a bit and shrugged my shoulders at her because I had no clue what he wanted. I got in his truck and thought we would sit there in the warmth to talk, but he drove off and rode around. He immediately began talking about how he hated his life and how he was living! He said he was tired of the lie and how he had tried to fill the void, but could not. He even said that he loved me! I was crying and kept my mouth shut and praised God while I listened! I thought I was dreaming. This…after this week and this morning!!! Only God! We ended up at my house, which was only a few minutes away and we talked. He said he didn’t know how it would work or if it would, but he was tired of not having his kids and he had tried to make it with someone else and he could not do it. And I didn’t question anything about the NCP. He had already made the statement that he would not question my past and did not want to be questioned about his and I said I would respect that. He did say, while he was holding me, that that part of his life was over. We held each other for a long time. He told me he missed me and asked if I had missed him. He wants to take it slow, which I completely understand. And he asked that I not preach to him and said he wasn’t being ugly, but he didn’t want to hear about God right now. … He told me that he loved me, but there were things that he despised about me too; yet he had fought his feelings as long as he could, and he was at his breaking point. I just listened!! Linda, as you once told me…God sat on my tongue! I couldn’t say a word. After he finished, I did say that I wanted to talk about that one day. He just shook his head and told me how hard it was for him to talk to me. I just sat in tears again and thanked him for sharing with me. Then he said he didn’t want all the tears and sorrys again and to stop and I just chuckled as I was wiping away my tears. We held each other for the first time in what seemed like forever. Only God gets the glory for this miracle!!! He is awesome and I am shouting from my rooftop tonight!!!

SNO is not back in our home YET, but that is coming. He asked me not to say anything to the boys just yet and I agreed if that is what he wanted. I know we are both still healing and have a lot of catching up to do since we have been divorced for three years. So I pray that God will continue the good work that he has begun and that nothing will change our path! I know I still have a lot to learn, but know my father will continue to teach me. Please pray with me that I will say and do the things that only God would have me say and do. My husband is not ready to submit to God, but he is almost ready for the harvest. I feel it and God has already spoken it, so I am just waiting for that to come to pass as well. My God is faithful and worthy of my Praises. I am so excited and wanted to share my miracle with you!!! So don’t give up, give in, or give out!!! It will happen when you least expect it! Believe me; this was the last thing I expected today!

God, I praise you and thank you that you are a God that hears our cry and answers prayers! Thank you for healing hearts and restoring families. I don’t know how, but I trust you and your ways that are higher than mine to complete this restoration and that my husband will be home. Thank you for allowing me to tell him again that my door was open and for the words he spoke of trying to find his way back. God, your word says that you order our footsteps, so I pray that you light SNO’s path to the door you have opened for him; the door to his home, his kids, his wife. May he find the door to walk thru to you and find himself in you and walk in the path of righteousness. May you heal his heart of all the pain. Only you know his heart and know what he needs at this time. Lead me to know what to say and do that will show him you and your love. Continue to change me and transform my heart into what you created it to be! I love you, lord, and will tell the world of your love and faithfulness to your children who know you. Thank you, Father, as I try to put words to the excitement that is in me. Give it to others as they stand; may they have strength to fight and walk in Victory. May you give them a double portion of faith and strength. Yes, this is difficult at times, so help them know that it is so worth it in the end!!! To you, Lord, I lift my hands in worship, my heart in song and now my restored marriage and family to you to complete. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord today and forever!!! AMEN!

*****

As you read the above testimonies, please know that when each of these ladies came to the ministry, they either had no contact with their spouses, or next to none, and the contact they had was far from civil and pleasant. BUT we serve a great and mighty God and we need to know and understand that marriage restoration is Not done in the natural; but in the SUPERNATURAL power of our God when we learn to humble ourselves under His mighty hand (1 Peter 5:5-6) and just TRUST AND OBEY Him! As Jesus declared in John 15:5-7… “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you.

When standing for marriage restoration, understanding and implementing God’s instructions in 1 Corinthians 7:15 to let our spouses go when they want to depart is probably one of the greatest challenges we all face. Yet, that is what God instructs and expects us to do and He knows that the ONLY way we can do that and live in peace as He also expects us to do, is to put all of our faith, hope and confidence in Jesus Christ and the power and promise of His Word. And since we’ve had quite a bit of conversation about that in the FAM Fellowship lately, along with a recent post about Lazarus and the lessons we can learn from his story, I want to share a previous Seeds Of Faith post about that, Believing Jesus is the ONLY Way to Let Go; which I hope and pray will remind us all of just how important our faith is to the Lord. Without that, the odds are that we will never truly be able to let our spouses go and live in the peace of God that really does pass all human comprehension and understanding (Philippians 4:5-7); much less walk in the forgiveness, grace, mercy, and unconditional love and respect which are all so essential for true and lasting marriage restoration. Yet, one of the single most consistent things we hear from returning spouses is what a difference it made in their hearts and circumstances when their spouses finally let them go and began to demonstrate unconditional love and respect.

There is no way to adequately express or explain the awesome SUPERNATURAL power released into our lives and circumstances when we truly have unshakable faith in our Lord; yet there is no doubt that it is the most essential principle of marriage restoration-both before and after our marriages are restored. And as I shared in the above post, there is no way to read John 11 and the story of Lazarus’ miraculous restoration to life without seeing how vitally important faith is to Jesus and how much it troubles his heart when we don’t believe Him. And the pages of the private FAM Fellowship website are filled with testimonies of the miraculous ways God has worked and continues to work in the restoration of marriages once men and women have learned and finally understood the SUPERNATURAL power of faith and praise. What a blessing it is when we get that and can walk it out in our day to day lives; because that’s when we will be blessed and encouraged beyond anything we could ever ask or imagine as we see the mighty hand of God move to miraculously restore our marriages and families!

After reading Stephanie’s post, God Can and Will Turn a Prodigal’s Heart, and crying the whole way through, I felt the need to write this post. Not only did Stephanie seem to be describing exactly how things were in my marriage-both before and after SNO (spouse name omitted) left, but I could also relate to how much SNO really did change when I just let him go. And the changes that took place in his heart when I began showing him unconditional love, grace and respect were nothing short of God’s miraculous work of restoration!

But God’s work of restoration was done in both my heart and SNO’s and never in a million years could I have imagined that I would have changed so radically and so quickly, that my own heart would turn from stone to flesh. After all, I thought I was dealing with “my husband’s sin problem” and I was being a saint…so perfectly sweet and innocent, and just waiting for him to come back to his senses. Of course, God dealt with my pride rather quickly and before I knew it, I was showing my husband, a man who tried everything to prove to himself and the NCP that he was never coming home, true love, respect, honor, grace and compassion. But because change is a process, I would still struggle every now and then, and would fail to rely on God. Yes, I still believed there was something-some magical sentence I could utter that would make him come home. I actually remember SNO text messaging me one night and telling me how bad his life had become and how bad things with the NCP were. I took things into my own hands and responded with”I am praying for you, and I know one day God will bring you back to me.” Well, he immediately wrote back in anger and said that because of that text message, he no longer felt comfortable and even called me saying how out of line that was. He stated that this was his choice and just when he thought I got it, I blew it.

But that same sentence could come out of my mouth today, and SNO would not even bat an eyelash, because he has made it very clear that this is where he wants to be. The problem was that at that time, despite all he was going through, that’s where he wanted to be. He wanted to be with the NCP and he was willing to endure all of the troubles because to him, that was better than what awaited him at home. And telling him I knew God would bring him back to me, was condescending. First, it was a reminder to him that God didn’t approve of what he was doing, and as Stephanie pointed out, prodigals are already aware of that and are running from God. Secondly, it was saying that no matter how hard he tried to make things work in his new situation, it was still all just a terrible mistake and that he would come crawling home. At least that’ was the message HE got from it.

Through the course of my stand, I have gone from amazingly clingy and desperate to calm and peaceful. And the days when I was clingy and desperate were the coldest and hardest days, especially since my husband would respond by intentionally saying things to me that brought me to endless tears. When I refused to let him go, he tried to make me do it by being cruel and cold. But once I let him go and gave everything to God, I finally experienced peace, and the peace that surpasses all understanding, as described in Philippians 4:5-7, surrounded me. And my husband responded by establishing a new friendship with me because he was so drawn to me, and the peace I had was something he wanted too.

Interestingly enough, that same peace started to make the NCP feel insecure, and all of the freedom she once promised SNO vanished. So SNO would often intentionally try his hardest to be cruel to me when in front of the NCP, but I would respond in love. He would yell about the shoes the kids were wearing being too big, and I would just listen to him and thank him for noticing and looking out for them. He was always late picking up the kids and when dropping them off, but I just let it all go. And he seldom returned them with the clothes; clothes I had really struggled to pay for! But I didn’t pick a fight, as I knew he was testing me. Not only was that an act for the NCP, but it was his way of testing me to “prove” that I really hadn’t changed.

Of course, the NCP felt much more secure in her relationship with him when I was bitter and angry. But once I started changing and was humble and respectful NO MATTER the circumstance, she became the clingy one showing signs of desperation. And, yes, the NCP’s clingy tendencies and desperation began to chase SNO away and she ended up chasing him back to where he belongs! And he looked forward to talking to me and stopping by the house, if only for fifteen minutes at a time. We would joke around and our conversations were light and fun. We didn’t go into stressful topics and I made sure to have a gentle and quiet spirit and keep my mouth shut about my desires for him to return home. We just learned how to enjoy each others company again and for a season, we saw each other frequently, talked on the phone, text messaged each other constantly and even chatted on Instant Messenger. And being cruel to me in front of the NCP became much more difficult, because he was falling in love with me all over again. Of course, that made the NCP even more insecure and things behind closed doors for the two of them became increasingly heated and stressful.

Fortunately, the NCP and I don’t have to talk on the phone about things involving the kids now, as we once did. SNO used to toss the phone to her and yell ”I’m not dealing with her anymore.” and leave it to her to finish the conversation about whatever matter we were discussing; such as doctor’s appointments and schedules. He no longer puts on a show the way he once did for the NCP, and I no longer feel tested to see if the changes in me are real. Instead, things are very cordial and open between us. The NCP has become as bitter as wormwood and all her unstable ways have chased my husband’s heart back home. Although he is not home yet and still there, both he and I agree and acknowledge that things will get better and that he is coming home.

The process of change was challenging at first, but I knew I was doing it God’s way when my new attitude practically became my first reaction! And it was a great feeling when I finally “got it” and knew that I had grasped yet another important principal of marriage restoration. Not only did it make room for God to move, but it brought me closer to the Lord!

The more natural unconditional love, respect, honor, and a quiet spirit become to us, the more like Christ we become. As Colossians 3:7-10 says, You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.

I have personally witnessed the profound effects my own actions and attitude have had in my circumstances. And there’s no doubt that having a humble and quiet spirit, although difficult at first, was essential in recapturing my husband’s heart and captivating him all over again!

(Note from Linda: This is another powerful message from Lorraine because when we learn to “see” with our spiritual eyes instead of being led and deceived by only what we can see in the natural, we will indeed be blessed an encouraged as we walk in the victory Jesus came to give us!)

*****
“And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them.
And Elisha prayed, and said, LORD, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the LORD opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.” 2 Kings 6:16-17

When Elisha and his servant woke up this particular morning, they discovered that the Syrian army was surrounding the city- horses, chariots, warriors. This brought fear to the heart of Elisha’s servant. Elisha remained calm and at peace and simply prayed that the Lord would open the eyes of his servant to see past the physical
realm- past what he saw with the natural eye- and give him eyes to see in the spiritual realm. The Lord did and the servant saw that the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire- the angelic host.
I would say that most of us are like Elisha’s servant instead of Elisha. When trouble comes, when a crisis threatens, when problems arise, when the enemy is coming against us, we only “see” what we see with our physical eyes. We tend to see only the problem. We tend to see it from only one perspective- our prospective. We tend to see it in the natural realm only. Elisha remained calm and at peace because he saw past what he was seeing with his natural eyes. He saw what was invisible, yet was more real and more powerful than what he was looking upon with his two eyes.
When the enemy surrounds us, when we are under attack, when the problems seem endless, when the situation is getting worse, we need to pray that our “eyes” would be open-our spiritual eyes. If you look at things with only the physical eye it will discourage you, depress you, steal your peace, rob your joy, make you fearful and cause you to give up. What we see is not always “reality” as was the case with Elisha and his servant. The reality was that a greater army than the army of Syria was there, and it was there to protect them. The reality is that though they thought they were
out numbered and alone, there was more for them than there was against them.
How do we see past what we see with the natural eye? We look at the situation through the eyes of faith- faith in God’s word, in His promises, and in light of who He is.

Have a great day. Don’t just look at your situation through your natural senses, look at it through the eyes of faith- faith and trust in your mighty God and His promises.

*****
Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at [email protected]
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

We greatly appreciate and thank Lorraine for her permission to share and reprint her Coffee Break devotionals here to bless and encourage our visitors!

(Note from Linda: We are all so blessed to have the powerful testimonies of those who have been led astray by Satan and then delivered by the mercy, grace, love and power of our dear Lord and Savior-it’s the most encouraging evidence that God does bring wayward spouses back home! And we are once again blessed that Stephanie has been led to share her experience as a prodigal and the insight gained through her experience and being restored to the Lord, which she posted on the private FAM Fellowship website last night. So I hope and pray that this strong testimony of God’s faithfulness to work in the heart, mind and spirit of our spouses when they are caught up in adultery will bless and encourage everyone who needs it today. As Proverbs 16:1 declares, There is no wisdom, no insight and no plan that can succeed against the Lord! So please take the time to read and meditate on the following scripture references because we have to put our hope in the power and promise of God’s Word as we stand in faith and obedience for the deliverance of our adulterous spouses and the restoration of our marriages and families. And when we do, we will without a doubt be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!)

*****
Thank you all so much for your responses to my earlier post. I was truly blessed and humbled, as I always struggle to share as a prodigal; yet I’ve been strongly led to write something again. My husband and I just spent two wonderful nights together because his sister was staying at his parents’ house; yet he went back there tonight. We really had such a great time, and I have to admit that I began to cry and have a pity party when he left, but I thanked God anyway. Suddenly, my tears stopped and I felt the need to share again. So I prayed that God would lead me as I write, and here it is.

When I was in what I call my “prodigal moments,” there was a period of time when I was in the thick of sin and God was tapping me on the shoulder, but I ignored him. And there were times that the guilt of my actions overwhelmed and consumed me so much that I could not enjoy the time with the NCP. I was restless, discontented, unhappy, and unable to sleep. Why? God does not give adulterers any peace. I guarantee you right now that your prodigal spouse is not peaceful because there is no true peace in sin (Isaiah 48:22). The devil comes along and whispers in the prodigal’s ear and says “look, this other person is right for you…look how they make you feel…it will be okay once you are divorced…everything will be okay…besides, your spouse should have someone who really loves them and you don’t, so set them free.” We believe we must let you, our spouse, go, because it is the right thing to do; we are in it too deep, there is no other way, you are aware of our sin, there is no saving face, and there is no going back. We get trapped in a vicious cycle of self contempt and fleshly pleasure. And we tell you the reason we are leaving is NOT the NCP. But I’m here to tell you…of course it is! We tell you we would have left anyway…then why didn’t we? That is exactly why Satan put this person in our path. He knew that would be just the ticket to get us to act…to commit adultery, to separate and to divorce. Satan not only convinces the prodigal, but uses the NCP as well. So he has two deceived people under his control and manipulation. And the prodigal does what FEELS right; not what IS right.

Again, let me reiterate—there is NO PEACE for the prodigal. Prodigals live in an illusionary world that they believe in. We believe that we are really happy, but that’s not so, and our hearts even tell us that. But we just dismiss it. We chalk it up to not being happy in our marriage…it couldn’t possibly be our adulterous relationship. And we believe we have a future with the other person. But once again, that’s not so because our God would not allow it. He would not prosper a relationship that goes against his Word; not now and not ever! We believe we could never be a good spouse to you because we’ve hurt you so deeply and we “love” the NCP. Again, that’s not so; we love the feeling we get with the NCP and we hate the guilt we feel with you, our spouse. Deep down, we love you, but all we can see now is the negative you, and not the you we fell in love with. And we point out your faults so we can justify our sin to ourselves. So be careful not to display that negativity to us, because it will send us packing. Disarm us with your good, loving side. The more you show us the Christ like love and peace within you, the more restless, uneasy, uncomfortable and far from peaceful we become. Why? (Because you are successfully fighting the enemy with the tools God has given you in his Word (Ephesians 6:12-18) and we can’t stand against that, so we lash back out at you. Remember that Satan is talking to us even louder when you are winning. So stand firm and keep loving us and victory will be yours (Deuteronomy 20:4). It is when you give up, and give in that you waste time and restoration takes longer.

Perhaps I’m rambling; but this is my point—there is no peace for the prodigal!!! And it’s really important to understand that “feelings” do not matter!!! Feelings come and go. Today, your prodigal spouse is distant; tomorrow pleasant; the next day angry; and the next happy-as if life couldn’t be better. God does not want us to operate on feelings. God is not interested in how you feel, but who you are; your character, your relationship with him, and your salvation. And He is not interested in what makes you comfortable. He is asking you…“Do you believe in my Word?” Do you believe in my promises? Do you believe me when I say I hate divorce? (Malachi 2:16) Do you believe that I joined you and your spouse together and what I have joined, let man not separate? (Matthew 19:6) Do you believe that I can do the impossible? (Mark 10:27) Do you believe in me? Do you have faith in my Sovereignty, my power, and my truth? (Deuteronomy 3:24) Do you believe I can bring you through this?”

So when you are hurting, remember…”It’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead - Psalm 147:3.” When you are angry, remember…”It’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead - Psalm 135:14.” When you are tearful, remember…It’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead - Psalm 126:5.” When you are fearful, remember…”it’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead – Isaiah 41:10.” And when you are disappointed or discouraged, remember…”It’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead - Psalm 34:18.”

Please, please repeat this to yourself over and over until it sinks in, which I too had to do tonight in my own moment of despair. Stop believing the lies out of your spouse’s mouth. Believe the words out of God’s mouth. Prodigals don’t know which way is up. But you on the other hand, have God and the Holy Spirit, and all of his angels on your left, and on your right, in front of you, behind you, and everywhere you go. You have the power that comes through your prayers, through your fellowship and obedience to God, and through reading his Word daily. YOU HAVE POWER!! GODS FAVOR RESTS WITH YOU! YOU ARE GOD’S CHILD!! YOU ARE JOINT HEIRS WITH JESUS CHRIST! YOU ARE THE OVERCOMER! YOU HAVE THE POWER TO TREAD ON SERPENTS AND DEMOLISH STRONGHOLDS!!! AND THE PRODIGAL IN SIN IS POWERLESS OVER YOU AND YOUR GOD!!!

Start acting and believing like it is so. God commands you to act on your faith. So wipe your tears just like I had to tonight, and get up and act like a child of the most high God!!!! DO something constructive and pray and claim Jeremiah 24:7 for your spouse, because God will be faithful to do this for your prodigal spouse the same way He did it for me! It says I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.

With Much Love!!!
Stephanie

I wonder how many of us recognize our stand for the restoration of our marriage as a means of breaking the cycle and generational curse of divorce in our families. That means that we are not just standing for our own marriages; that we are also paving the road for future generations and creating a legacy for them to follow.

My mother’s parents were divorced by the time she reached kindergarten, and my grandmother grew up with both of her parents, but it was a second marriage and her siblings resented her because they never accepted her father in their home. So neither my husband nor I have families that stayed together. In fact, his mother divorced his father while she was pregnant with him and my parents were never married and split up soon after my first birthday.

Even though growing up in families with single parents was “normal” to both me and SNO (spouse name omitted), once we had kids of our own, we both felt strongly that we never wanted our kids to go through what we went through. We never wanted a broken home, but we didn’t know how to prevent it. And we didn’t understand the measures we needed to take to protect our family; nor did we know how to go about our daily lives without chipping away at our marriage.

So among the multitude of things God has taught me through my stand, one thing that really stands out is my new desire to be the best wife and mother I can be. I am sure I always wanted that in the past but it certainly wasn’t something I thought I had to work to accomplish. But fighting this good fight has radically changed me into a totally new woman. So in this time of waiting, God has worked in me in ways that will well equip me for the road and challenges ahead. And during this time of standing, God is establishing His strong foundation (Deuteronomy 28:9 and 1 Samuel 2:35) and putting everything in perfect order so that my husband and I will have the appreciation, wisdom, knowledge and understanding needed to stay together for a lifetime, which is something that will bless and benefit our children beyond what we can imagine (2 Samuel 7:12).

The good news is that our fight is the good fight, and this battle we face will have a huge impact in the legacy we leave behind for future generations. The best news is that it is a fixed fight, and we are already victorious (Romans 8:31 and Romans 8:37); we just have to stay the course.

God is not concerned with our past, because He sees the big picture and knows what is yet to come and He will use everything in our past for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28 and Ephesians 1:4-14)! So even though my parents didn’t provide me with a model of what a strong and healthy marriage looks like, that doesn’t mean God can’t make things right. And by making things right, He is setting the course for our future generations; our very own children!

We don’t have to say a word; we just have to keep fighting the good fight. And we can’t give up, no matter what; we must stay the course and have faith that what God has promised, God will bring about (Numbers 23:19, Isaiah 46:10-11 and Isaiah 55:10-11). So we have to resist being guided by our natural eye, and we have to stop seeing our circumstances as obstacles. We have to cling tight to the very Word of God as if it were our life line, because it is (Psalm 119:105 and Matthew 4:4)! And there comes a time when we just have to say “Whatever it takes, I am on board!”

As we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families, we have way too much at risk to ever give up. So it’s important to remember all of the positive changes this time in our lives has brought about and not lose sight of how much growth we have already experienced in the process. And as we wait for the Lord to redirect the hearts of our spouses, it is very reassuring to consider how our own minds, attitudes and hearts have been overtaken and transformed by the awesome power of God and how our relationship with Him has grown increasingly strong. So we have to persevere on those days when we feel it’s too late and we want to give up, because giving up would be like throwing in the towel when we have already been declared the winner! And we can’t forfeit and hand the enemy something that belongs to God, because it is for His glory that He will come through and rebuild our marriages on the solid rock (Isaiah 55:9-13)!

Thankfully, God has provided a definite plan to halt the devastation of divorce, and if you come from a broken family as I did, I’m sure you would agree that being able to break the generational curse of divorce is an invaluable legacy for our future generations. We are part of God’s army fighting for His Kingdom, so let’s keep fighting the good fight and never lose sight of how important our stands are in God’s eyes, because HE sees the BIG picture and everything to come!

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

(Note from Linda: Stephanie shared this powerful message on the private site last night and I have no doubt that it will be a blessing to everyone standing for marriage restoration, especially when another person is involved. And it is an even more powerful message from Stephanie because the day before, she had been given a “bad report” and chose to stand on the power and promise of God’s Word instead of receiving that news and was then blessed with a wonderful praise instead of what would surely not have turned out well if she had acted on what she heard! Her experience and insight is a perfect illustration of the biblical principles of standing for marriage restoration and confirms just why God teaches us to do what His Word says (Luke 6:46-49); He made us and He knows how we tick! And this powerful testimony should be more than enough encouragement for all of us to renew our commitment to DO things God’s way so we can be assured of getting HIS results, especially since we know that HE hates divorce and marital separation (Malachi 2)! So take the word of this testimony to heart and be blessed and encouraged as you use it to defeat and hurl down the devil the next time he comes calling to steal, kill and destroy your marriage (an earthly representation of our relationship with Christ Ephesians 5:29-32 and 1 Corinthians 11:7), the word of YOUR testimony (that overcomes him – Revelation 12:10-11) and your righteousness, peace and joy (what the kingdom of heaven is all about – Romans 14:17)!)

*****
Hello Everyone,

I was deep in thought today and I want to share some of my experience as a prodigal. At first, I was a little embarrassed to share it, but I realize that was the enemy’s condemnation and that I need to use my testimony as God has commanded, which I hope blesses you and will help overcome and hurl down the devil as you stand for the restoration of your marriage and family (Revelation 12:10-11).

I was very unhappy in my marriage and I didn’t believe I loved my husband anymore; we were always either arguing or giving each other the silent treatment. We lived like strangers in our routine of go to work, come home, take care of the children and repeat it all over again. And I never consulted God on anything; I was too angry and my heart was made of the hardest stone imaginable.

I met someone who “understood me”…someone who sang my praises, complimented me, etc. So I leapt in and did the wrong thing; knowing what I was doing was wrong, and knowing I was sinning against God.

There is a voice within every prodigal that tells them what they are doing is wrong. Every prodigal is shown the way out, but chooses to turn their back on what is “right.” Why? Because we are LOST…we are HURTING…and we are SAD. Yet, we show you, our spouses, that we are happy and that we could not have it better any other way; life is good, we are feeling good and having the time of our lives. Everything we ever wanted is now within this other person and you are now the enemy; you want to rob us of our joy, you don’t understand us, you don’t love us; because if you did, we wouldn’t have gone astray. Prodigals think CRAZY things. We hear the ENEMIES voice louder than God’s; we have put God’s voice on mute and the enemy tells us that we will be happy if we are divorced from you…then we could be free, happy and fulfilled. It’s all a LIE, but we don’t know that. We even think our children will be “just fine”-another lie. We buy into the “it’s better for me to be happy…then I will be a better father/mother” trap—just another Lie.

We come home to you, our spouses, and you throw stones at us. You tell us what we are doing is wrong. You tell us we need God. You cry, you raise your voice, you act desperate, you act mean, etc. And the prodigal’s instinct…RUN!!! RUN as fast as we can!! Get away from this person!! We think YOU have lost it; not us. And your clinginess, desperation and tears make us sick to our stomachs; not because we don’t care about you-because we do-we love you, but it is hidden so deep inside that we can’t see or feel it. It makes us feel horrible because we KNOW what we are doing is wrong; you don’t need to tell us. We are running from God, and when you act like that, we run from you too.

My husband prayed for me and was the one standing for our marriage during that time. He didn’t know how to do it and often times he was so negative and emotional that I wanted nothing to do with him. Please listen to me-if my husband had been treating me nice, praising me, encouraging me, showing me respect and unconditional love, I would have been blown away. If he had been peaceful, okay with me leaving if that’s what I chose to do, and confident, I wouldn’t have known what to do with the situation. But I would have been drawn to that peace and it would have woken me up.

Believe it or not, I still have to remind myself of these things when I get all worked up and emotional. One would think that I above all, should know this. However, when we are in the midst of the storm, filled with love for our spouse and the desire for restoration, we have a tendency to want to do something, say something…anything to bring them back or keep them from leaving. BUT DON’T DO IT!! There is nothing you can say or do, and everything you say or do in your will, will FAIL. RELINQISH your spouse to God. Put it all at His feet and walk away. AND DO NOT PICK IT BACK UP!!

You have to get to a point where you are okay either way…with restoration or without it because you are content with GOD and his love. When your relationship and love for God far surpasses that of your wife/husband, you have arrived. And when you are at peace with the thought of them leaving, your blessing of restoration is on its way. Let your prodigal GO!!! God will bring them home.

He brought me home to a man I SWORE I didn’t love, didn’t want to be with, and didn’t want to be in the same room with if it could be avoided. I thought I was in control and I would do as I pleased. Who was going to stop me? God was, but I didn’t know that!!

God indeed stopped me and now I am the one praying to God for my husband’s heart and I am the one who wants restoration. God brought me to my knees when there was nothing and no one else that could help me. Wow!! Just look at what God can do-He can do it, you guys!!! He can and He will!!! Just do your part…LOVE, LOVE, LOVE…respect, support, praise and help. When you are hurt, love them (they hurt too). When you are angry, love them (for they are angry too). God will show us amazing and wonderful things when we follow what he says. He commands us to love even our enemies (Matthew 5:43-48). And sometimes we feel that our spouse is the enemy, so we have to love them; they need our love because they have been taken captive by the enemy. PRAY THEM OUT!!! PRAY, PRAY, PRAY and be unrelenting!! DO NOT GIVE IN AND DO NOT BE MOVED by what they say or do. IT IS JUST TEMPORARY! GOD has them, so remember that they are NOT in control. Use this time to complete the work that needs to be done in yourself and let God work on your spouse. Restoration won’t work if you’re not ready.

I am writing this with Love, because I don’t want you guys to make the same mistakes. Remember that God wants our marriages restored and our families healed more than we do; we just need to get out of the way and let Him work.

With much love and gratitude to you all,
Stephanie

Knowing that we want to stand for the restoration of our marriages and families is one thing, but knowing HOW to do it is another thing entirely. And the ONLY way to stand for marriage restoration and be assured of getting God’s results (full and complete restoration) is by DOING what His Word teaches and there is no other way. Yet, some really struggle to understand that, which is so unnecessary and so destructive, and it might well be the very thing that hinders what we so want. But there is a LOT we can do about that; we can learn to DO what the Word of God instructs us to do. And if we don’t, we have no one but ourselves to blame for the unhappy state of our minds and the delays in seeing our prayers answered and our marriages restored.

There are a lot of verses that get quoted here frequently, but are we PRACTICING their wisdom and BELIEVING them? Do we REALLY, REALLY even know WHO God is? Because if the answers to those questions are no, then we can’t live and walk in the victory Jesus came to give us and we aren’t going to experience the abundant life He died to make possible for us because there is no other way.

We all love Psalm 37:4-6 and the awesome promise it holds, but do we DELIGHT in the Lord; are we committed to doing things HIS way; do we REALLY trust Him? IF the answer to any of that is no, then we have no reason to expect God to give us the desires of our hearts or to make our righteousness shine like the dawn and the justice of our cause like the noon day sun! As it is written, Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. So why is it that we expect God to do HIS part when we are unwilling to do OUR part? Well, I’m here to tell you, and there are pages and pages on the FAMM websites that prove that it just doesn’t work that way. We have to KNOW that Jesus is NOT a liar and when He said that we have to DO what He says if we want to withstand the storms of life and everything that comes against us and our marriages, that is EXACTLY what He means and there is no other way! And He was also not lying when He warned that if we DON’T DO what His Word teaches, our houses (marriages and families) will be destroyed. Sadly, our failure to do that is why all of us are here; because we did NOT DO WHAT THE LORD TEACHES US TO DO. As Jesus taught in Luke 6:46-49, with my emphasis added…“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.” Why most of us are totally blinded to the very obvious, simple and powerful truth of this passage is beyond natural explanation and understanding, because I too had read and heard it preached for years before I read it again one day and FINALLY understood what it REALLY says! This passage is NOT about Jesus being our rock; it is about being obedient and DOING what He teaches us to do! It is about the difference in our lives when we DO what He teaches us to do and when we don’t. And as hard as it might be for us to get past the years of false doctrines we have had drummed into us over and over again for years, it is absolute proof that no amount of God’s grace and mercy make up for our failure to DO WHAT HIS WORD TELLS US TO DO! And no amount of faith and prayer will give us the desires of our hearts when we continue to live in disobedience to God’s Word and not DO what it very and unambiguously tells us to do! And it’s very important to note something else I just noticed for the first time when reading it again just now…Jesus said that this applies to us when we come to Him! So there is no point in turning to Jesus in our time of need if we aren’t going TO DO WHAT HIS WORD TEACHES! Yes, God’s grace and mercy are bestowed on us; but ONLY WHEN WE REPENT AND TURN FROM OUR evil thoughts and WICKED WAYS OF DISOBEDIENCE AND FAILURE TO LIVE BY FAITH…AND THEN TURN TO DOING THINGS GOD’S WAY. And we have God’s assurance of that in Isaiah 55.

And when God promises to give us all that we need and even want IF we seek FIRST HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS AND HIS KINGDOM; that doesn’t mean anything BUT that! We can’t think of everything else first and consider ANYTHING else before God…how HE feels…what HE wants…what HE thinks…what HE says…what HE does and how what WE do will affect HIS glory and the furtherance of HIS kingdom and then expect God to give us the things we need; much less the things we want. (Matthew 6:31-33 says what it says and means what it means and that means that there is no other way to be certain of God’s provision other than seeking Him and His ways FIRST!

So the next time we’re tempted to doubt and/or question God’s faithfulness, especially when it seems that He is doing absolutely nothing on our behalf, we would be wise to question and examine our obedience instead! As Numbers 23: 19 declares, God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? Of course, the answer to that is NO, which we have God’s Word on in Isaiah 46:10-11 and Isaiah 55:10-11, as well as numerous other verses that declare that God is not a liar.

Also, based on recent conversations and so much of what we’ve seen on the private site and in so many sermons and messages lately, one of the biggest hindrances to marriage restoration and receiving all that the Lord wants to bless us with is obviously unforgiveness. We just have to get this about God-even if nothing else; He does not forgive us when we don’t forgive others, and reading The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant leaves absolutely NO doubt about that. And He doesn’t want to hear our prayers when we haven’t forgiven others, as Mark 11:25 makes very clear. So He is not going to bless us with the desires of our hearts and meet our needs when we harbor unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment toward our spouses and/or NCPs, which often manifests in words and thoughts of self-righteousness and being judgmental about THEIR sins with TOTAL disregard of God’s VERY EXPLICIT instructions in passages like 2 Corinthians 10:6,John 8:7, Luke 6:37-42 and Luke 18:9-14. And our spouses are certainly not going to feel loved unconditionally by us when we are filled with unforgiveness, resentment and bitterness because of their past behavior and even what they might well be doing right now; the only way they will know that we love them is when our love COVERS OVER A MULTITUDE OF SINS (1 Peter 4:8), COVERS OVER ALL WRONGS (Proverbs 10:12 and COVERS OVER AN OFFENSE (Proverbs 17:9! And they will know that we love them when we learn to EXPECT, HOPE and BELIEVE the BEST of them; because as it is written of love in 1 Corinthians 13:7…It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. And if this is what God, WHO IS LOVE, tells us love is and love does, and we say that we love our spouses and DO NOT DO WHAT the above VERSES TEACH LOVE IS and does, we do not love our mates; or at least we fail miserably when it comes to demonstrating love. As Proverbs 19:22 tells us, every one of us desires UNFAILING LOVE! That is exactly how we want to be loved and it is exactly why we are often offended and hurt by our spouses—-because they failed to love us that way. So we expect them to do what we ourselves will not do and have not done, but Jesus taught us that we are to love others AS we love OURSELVES, which we cannot do if we don’t first love HIM with ALL of our hearts, minds, soul and strength (Mark 12:33)! AND THERE IS NO OTHER WAY! And when we learn to DO things GOD’S way and trust Him with ALL of our hearts, and refuse to lean on our own understanding as we acknowledge Him in ALL of our ways, we will indeed be blessed and encouraged beyond belief as HE makes our paths straight (Proberbs 3:5-6)and we see the power and promise of His Word manifested in our lives and in the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families!!! And the FAM Fellowship members have indeed been blessed to witness that as two husbands have SUDDENLY returned home out of the blue and totally unexpectedly in the past week!!! PRAISE GOD!!! He is not a liar and He will do exactly what His Word promises when we do what His Word teaches us to do!

I intended to share the following Small Straws message from Marsha Burns the day she wrote it (when I initially wrote much of this post), and I still want to share her encouragement because it was something the Lord spoke into my heart and spirit when I read it and it’s still just as true today, so I hope and pray that it will encourage those who read it.

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Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin
Small Straws In A Soft Wind by Marsha Burns — January 8, 2009:
This is a time of expectancy, but also a time of waiting for the completion of what has been promised. Do not become discouraged in your time of waiting nor turn back when you do not see the fulfillment of your expectations. You will no doubt have to make some adjustments in how you thought things would turn out, but you must also keep the faith that I have begun a good work in you, and I will bring it to completion; keeping in mind that My thoughts are higher than your thoughts, and My ways are higher than your ways. If you could see from My vantage point, you would not worry, says the Lord.
Habakkuk 2:3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time; but at the end it will speak, and it will not lie. Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely
come, it will not tarry.
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You can read Marsha’s Small Straws messages online and sign up to receive them by email on The Spirit of Prophecy website.