(Note from Linda: We are all so blessed to have the powerful testimonies of those who have been led astray by Satan and then delivered by the mercy, grace, love and power of our dear Lord and Savior–it’s the most encouraging evidence that God does bring wayward spouses back home! And we are once again blessed that Stephanie has been led to share her experience as a prodigal and the insight gained through her experience and being restored to the Lord, which she posted on the private FAM Fellowship website last night. So I hope and pray that this strong testimony of God’s faithfulness to work in the heart, mind and spirit of our spouses when they are caught up in adultery will bless and encourage everyone who needs it today. As Proverbs 21:30 declares, There is no wisdom, no insight and no plan that can succeed against the Lord! So please take the time to read and meditate on the following scripture references because we have to put our hope in the power and promise of God’s Word as we stand in faith and obedience for the deliverance of our adulterous spouses and the restoration of our marriages and families. And when we do, we will without a doubt be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!)
Thank you all so much for your responses to my earlier post. I was truly blessed and humbled, as I always struggle to share as a prodigal; yet I’ve been strongly led to write something again. My husband and I just spent two wonderful nights together because his sister was staying at his parents’ house; yet he went back there tonight. We really had such a great time, and I have to admit that I began to cry and have a pity party when he left, but I thanked God anyway. Suddenly, my tears stopped and I felt the need to share again. So I prayed that God would lead me as I write, and here it is.
When I was in what I call my “prodigal moments,” there was a period of time when I was in the thick of sin and God was tapping me on the shoulder, but I ignored him. And there were times that the guilt of my actions overwhelmed and consumed me so much that I could not enjoy the time with the NCP. I was restless, discontented, unhappy, and unable to sleep. Why? God does not give adulterers any peace. I guarantee you right now that your prodigal spouse is not peaceful because there is no true peace in sin (Isaiah 48:22). The devil comes along and whispers in the prodigal’s ear and says “look, this other person is right for you…look how they make you feel…it will be okay once you are divorced…everything will be okay…besides, your spouse should have someone who really loves them and you don’t, so set them free.” We believe we must let you, our spouse, go, because it is the right thing to do; we are in it too deep, there is no other way, you are aware of our sin, there is no saving face, and there is no going back. We get trapped in a vicious cycle of self contempt and fleshly pleasure. And we tell you the reason we are leaving is NOT the NCP. But I’m here to tell you…of course it is! We tell you we would have left anyway…then why didn’t we? That is exactly why Satan put this person in our path. He knew that would be just the ticket to get us to act…to commit adultery, to separate and to divorce. Satan not only convinces the prodigal, but uses the NCP as well. So he has two deceived people under his control and manipulation. And the prodigal does what FEELS right; not what IS right.
Again, let me reiterate—there is NO PEACE for the prodigal. Prodigals live in an illusionary world that they believe in. We believe that we are really happy, but that’s not so, and our hearts even tell us that. But we just dismiss it. We chalk it up to not being happy in our marriage…it couldn’t possibly be our adulterous relationship. And we believe we have a future with the other person. But once again, that’s not so because our God would not allow it. He would not prosper a relationship that goes against his Word; not now and not ever! We believe we could never be a good spouse to you because we’ve hurt you so deeply and we “love” the NCP. Again, that’s not so; we love the feeling we get with the NCP and we hate the guilt we feel with you, our spouse. Deep down, we love you, but all we can see now is the negative you, and not the you we fell in love with. And we point out your faults so we can justify our sin to ourselves. So be careful not to display that negativity to us, because it will send us packing. Disarm us with your good, loving side. The more you show us the Christ like love and peace within you, the more restless, uneasy, uncomfortable and far from peaceful we become. Why? (Because you are successfully fighting the enemy with the tools God has given you in his Word (Ephesians 6:12-18) and we can’t stand against that, so we lash back out at you. Remember that Satan is talking to us even louder when you are winning. So stand firm and keep loving us and victory will be yours (Deuteronomy 20:4). It is when you give up, and give in that you waste time and restoration takes longer.
Perhaps I’m rambling; but this is my point—there is no peace for the prodigal!!! And it’s really important to understand that “feelings” do not matter!!! Feelings come and go. Today, your prodigal spouse is distant; tomorrow pleasant; the next day angry; and the next happy–as if life couldn’t be better. God does not want us to operate on feelings. God is not interested in how you feel, but who you are; your character, your relationship with him, and your salvation. And He is not interested in what makes you comfortable. He is asking you…“Do you believe in my Word?” Do you believe in my promises? Do you believe me when I say I hate divorce? (Malachi 2:16) Do you believe that I joined you and your spouse together and what I have joined, let man not separate? (Matthew 19:6) Do you believe that I can do the impossible? (Mark 10:27) Do you believe in me? Do you have faith in my Sovereignty, my power, and my truth? (Deuteronomy 3:24) Do you believe I can bring you through this?”
So when you are hurting, remember…”It’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead – Psalm 147:3.” When you are angry, remember…”It’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead – Psalm 135:14.” When you are tearful, remember…It’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead – Psalm 126:5.” When you are fearful, remember…”it’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead – Isaiah 41:10.” And when you are disappointed or discouraged, remember…”It’s not about my feelings, but the promise ahead – Psalm 34:18.”
Please, please repeat this to yourself over and over until it sinks in, which I too had to do tonight in my own moment of despair. Stop believing the lies out of your spouse’s mouth. Believe the words out of God’s mouth. Prodigals don’t know which way is up. But you on the other hand, have God and the Holy Spirit, and all of his angels on your left, and on your right, in front of you, behind you, and everywhere you go. You have the power that comes through your prayers, through your fellowship and obedience to God, and through reading his Word daily. YOU HAVE POWER!! GODS FAVOR RESTS WITH YOU! YOU ARE GOD’S CHILD!! YOU ARE JOINT HEIRS WITH JESUS CHRIST! YOU ARE THE OVERCOMER! YOU HAVE THE POWER TO TREAD ON SERPENTS AND DEMOLISH STRONGHOLDS!!! AND THE PRODIGAL IN SIN IS POWERLESS OVER YOU AND YOUR GOD!!!
Start acting and believing like it is so. God commands you to act on your faith. So wipe your tears just like I had to tonight, and get up and act like a child of the most high God!!!! DO something constructive and pray and claim Jeremiah 24:7 for your spouse, because God will be faithful to do this for your prodigal spouse the same way He did it for me! It says I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.
With Much Love!!!