Eighteen months ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I was truly devastated and did all the things that any divorce book or group would tell you not to do. I tried to shame her and became self-righteous, manipulated her, begged, pleaded and anything else that I could think of to “win” her back. But nothing worked; in fact, all those things just made the situation worse and more hopeless. I was a “good” Christian, so wondered why God was letting this happen to me. I was crushed and hurt; beyond repair, or so I thought. Most of you know my story, so I won’t go into that, because the purpose of this post is to assure new members and standers that we have all risen from the same pain that you are experiencing right now. We are not where we are, without huge spiritual and personal growth through trusting and believing in Jesus Christ. We were not “magically” lifted to a place of peace and joy. Many of us have days when our feelings of despair are just as intense as ever, but by the grace of God, they don’t last as long and we know where to turn to take those negative thoughts captive.

Yesterday was one of those desperation days for me. I was having a melt down and cried (and I mean cried) out to the Lord; I was having what Linda would refer to as a pity party. I hate doing that; I know it is not productive, but needless to say, that is where I was. Of course, nothing is for naught. I sought out a friend, which I rarely do in the state of mind I was in, but sometimes we need to, who was a little surprised by my depressed state since he usually witnesses my enthusiasm as I encourage others who are standing for their marriages. It really is my nature to be positive and keep my negative feelings hidden. Who wants to be around a complaining, whining, and pitiful person. I usually find it easier to protect myself if I keep things to myself.

Anyway, through our conversation, it surfaced that it was beneficial for him to know that I was not born ready to be obedient to God in praying and standing for my marriage. It has been very difficult for me and everyone else, but by the grace of God, we are here today, some marriages are restored; and others not…YET! So, know that it is a process of growing in the spirit - listening, learning, seeking and being obedient to God’s will.

All this made me ponder just why I stand and why I expect God to do anything about it. Because I truly do believe God wants me standing for my marriage. It all comes from the scripture, the Bible, the written instructions from God about how to live our lives. It is through His Word that we know God’s will is that our covenant marriages not be destroyed. It is in the Word that we are assured that God hears our prayers and will answer them.

It is with that in mind, that I have included the following scriptures, which support what we are doing and why we are doing it. I pray that God’s Word will ignite our spirits, and give us faith, belief and trust that God wants our marriages to be healed and restored. We are standing on the promises of God; not a passing whim or just a love for our spouses, but because God commands us. May we stand strong, lean totally on our awesome God and know that we know that God is going to heal and restore our marriages. The first group tells us the He supports (commands) our stand, and the second group tells us that He will hear and answer our prayers. Be blessed.

SCRIPTURES THAT SUPPORT OUR STAND FOR MARRIAGEMarriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

Romans 7:1-3 (NIV)
Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.

Malachi 2:13-17 (NIB)
Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. [a] So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself [b] with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty.
So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
You have wearied the LORD with your words.” How have we wearied him?” you ask.
By saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them” or “Where is the God of justice?”

Matthew 5:31-33 (NIV)
“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[a] But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’

Matthew 19:2-6 (NIV)
Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[a] and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[
b
]? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”

Matthew 19:7-10 (NIV)
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”

Mark 10:1-12 (NIV)
Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.
Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
“What did Moses command you?” he replied.
They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’[a] ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] and the two will become one flesh.’[c] So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

Luke 16:17-19 (NIV)
It is easier for heaven and earth to disappear than for the least stroke of a pen to drop out of the Law.
“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

1 Corinthians 7:10-16 (NIV)
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (NLT)
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

GOD WILL ANSWER OUR PRAYERS BECAUSE RESTORATION OF OUR MARRIAGE IS HIS WILL.

Philippians 4:6 (NLT)
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.

Jeremiah 33:3 (NLT)
Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.

1 John 5:14-15 (NLT)
And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.

Mark 11:24 (NLT)
I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.

Matthew 21:22 (NLT)
You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.”

Matthew 18:19 (NLT)
“I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.

Psalm 37:3-4 (NLT)
Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.

Numbers 23:19 (NLT)
God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his Mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?

Posted Monday, July 9th, 2007 at 11:52 pm in Seeds Of Faith.