Restoration IS God’s Will and He DOES Answer our Prayers! – by Dan
Eighteen months ago my wife told me she wanted a divorce. I was truly devastated and did all the things that any divorce book or group would tell you not to do. I tried to shame her and became self-righteous, manipulated her, begged, pleaded and anything else that I could think of to “win” her back. But nothing worked; in fact, all those things just made the situation worse and more hopeless. I was a “good” Christian, so wondered why God was letting this happen to me. I was crushed and hurt; beyond repair, or so I thought. Most of you know my story, so I won’t go into that, because the purpose of this post is to assure new members and standers that we have all risen from the same pain that you are experiencing right now. We are not where we are, without huge spiritual and personal growth through trusting and believing in Jesus Christ. We were not “magically” lifted to a place of peace and joy. Many of us have days when our feelings of despair are just as intense as ever, but by the grace of God, they don’t last as long and we know where to turn to take those negative thoughts captive.
Yesterday was one of those desperation days for me. I was having a melt down and cried (and I mean cried) out to the Lord; I was having what Linda would refer to as a pity party. I hate doing that; I know it is not productive, but needless to say, that is where I was. Of course, nothing is for naught. I sought out a friend, which I rarely do in the state of mind I was in, but sometimes we need to, who was a little surprised by my depressed state since he usually witnesses my enthusiasm as I encourage others who are standing for their marriages. It really is my nature to be positive and keep my negative feelings hidden. Who wants to be around a complaining, whining, and pitiful person. I usually find it easier to protect myself if I keep things to myself.
Anyway, through our conversation, it surfaced that it was beneficial for him to know that I was not born ready to be obedient to God in praying and standing for my marriage. It has been very difficult for me and everyone else, but by the grace of God, we are here today, some marriages are restored; and others not…YET! So, know that it is a process of growing in the spirit – listening, learning, seeking and being obedient to God’s will.
All this made me ponder just why I stand and why I expect God to do anything about it. Because I truly do believe God wants me standing for my marriage. It all comes from the scripture, the Bible, the written instructions from God about how to live our lives. It is through His Word that we know God’s will is that our covenant marriages not be destroyed. It is in the Word that we are assured that God hears our prayers and will answer them.
It is with that in mind, that I have included the following scriptures, which support what we are doing and why we are doing it. I pray that God’s Word will ignite our spirits, and give us faith, belief and trust that God wants our marriages to be healed and restored. We are standing on the promises of God; not a passing whim or just a love for our spouses, but because God commands us. May we stand strong, lean totally on our awesome God and know that we know that God is going to heal and restore our marriages. The first group tells us the He supports (commands) our stand, and the second group tells us that He will hear and answer our prayers. Be blessed.
Romans 7:1-3 (NIV)
Do you not know, brothers—for I am speaking to men who know the law—that the law has authority over a man only as long as he lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.
Malachi 2:13-17 (NIB)
Another thing you do: You flood the LORD’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. [a] So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. “I hate divorce,” says the LORD God of Israel, “and I hate a man’s covering himself [b] with violence as well as with his garment,” says the LORD Almighty.
So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.
You have wearied the LORD with your words.” How have we wearied him?” you ask.
By saying, “All who do evil are good in the eyes of the LORD, and he is pleased with them” or “Where is the God of justice?”
Matthew 5:31-33 (NIV)
“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'[a] But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. “Again, you have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not break your oath, but keep the oaths you have made to the Lord.’
Matthew 19:2-6 (NIV)
Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,'[a] and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'[
b
]? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
Matthew 19:7-10 (NIV)
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Mark 10:1-12 (NIV)
Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them.
Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?”
“What did Moses command you?” he replied.
They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.”
“It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.'[a] ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[b] and the two will become one flesh.'[c] So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:17-19 (NIV)
It is easier for heaven and earth to disappear than for the least stroke of a pen to drop out of the Law.
“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
1 Corinthians 7:10-16 (NIV)
To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.
To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (NLT)
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;[a] but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages[b] and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.[c] All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.
Philippians 4:6 (NLT)
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
Jeremiah 33:3 (NLT)
Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.
1 John 5:14-15 (NLT)
And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for.
Mark 11:24 (NLT)
I tell you, you can pray for anything, and if you believe that you’ve received it, it will be yours.
Matthew 21:22 (NLT)
You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it.”
Matthew 18:19 (NLT)
“I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.
Psalm 37:3-4 (NLT)
Trust in the Lord and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Numbers 23:19 (NLT)
God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his Mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?
Thank you. I am speechless, it was exactly what I needed to hear. God bless, Sasha.
Thank you, Dan. I was feeling a little weird and requested prayer on the private site, so this was a HUGE encouragement for me. It quickly reminded me of the promises of God as it relates to our circumstance. I know the human side of us can try to deceive us and make us feel a little weird, but greater is He that is in us than he that is in the world
here are some of the scriptures I stood on when I was a stander 27 years ago. And I praise God for healing my marriage. I still know these scriptures by heart and always share them with others:
Hebrews 10:23 – Hold fast to the confession of your faith, without wavering, for God, who promised, is Faithful.
Isaiah 53:5 – By his stripes, my marriage is healed.
1 John 14:14 – “If ye ask anything in my name, I will do it.”
Also, some of the scritures I confessed over my self were:
Song of Solomon 7:10 – I am my husband’s beloved, and his desire is towards me.
Song of Solomon 8:7 – Many waters have not quenched my husband’s love for me, nor have floods drowned it, in Jesus’ name.
I thank God for his word, for it is His word that he promises to perform over our marriages; Isaiah 55:11 – God promises us that ” So shall my word be as it goeth forth out of my mouth; it shall not return VOID, but it shall ACCOMPLISH that which I please, and PROSPER in the thing whereto I SENT it.”
God’s word will bring healing to our marriages as we speak out the word of God over them. Jesus always spoke the answer, as He set in this example of speaking the answer; not the problem. One teacher of faith had written that the Lord explained to him very simply (Mark 11:24); “You have what you say, and you are saying what you have.” Isn’t that exciting? God gives us the same power that Jesus had in the power of the word of God which comes out of our mouths. I stand in agreement with all standing for their marriages and would like to hear from you if any would like to communicate. God bless, Diane S.
Diane,
Thank you so much for sharing your awesome testimony with us, along with the great scripture references! It’s so important for all of us to find the special verses the Lord provides to give each of us the hope, comfort and encouragement we need as we stand on the power and promise of His Word. And it’s easy to see why these verses filled your heart, mind and spirit with all you needed to stand until the Lord delivered on every promise! Thanks again for taking the time to share them with us. And I pray that the Lord continues to bless you and your family!
In His Love,
linda
Diane,
Thanks for the awesome additions and your testimony.
Dan
I’m so glad to hear of the great promises God put in your heart; I too have so many favorites. God is so faithful and He has not changed one bit; what He has done for you, He also did for me this past year, and I am so thankful for the changes He has made. And He will continue to do it for marriages everywhere. So I stand and pray for marriage restorations to flood this world.
Diane, I wanted to thank you for sharing this with us. God is faithful to His word; Thank you for your encouraging testimony and scriptures. I look forward to the day when the Lord restores my marriage, but have learned to enjoy every day and live it to its fullest. Reading testimonies of other standers is encouraging to me, so thank you for posting this!
Thank you for your inspiration. Though this has been a rough road, I’m not about to give up on the Lord or my marriage. God has placed it in my heart to stand and I look at this as a blessing. And when my marriage is restored, I hope we can help others. Thank you and GOD bless you!
I just came across this today because I’m also looking for encouragement and peace knowing that it is always God’s perfect will to restore our covenant marriages.
I’ve been separated from my husband for three months and it’s been a very hard time for me, but it has also been a blessing. This nightmare has brought me closer to God and has taught me a lot about myself. I have believed from the beginning that God was going to restore my marriage, but when I get weary, I search for inspiration to keep me pushing thru. Thanks so much for this. I can hardly wait for the day God will also restore my marriage.
I want to ask you all to Join with me in praying for my marriage. My husband and I divorced two years ago, but I know the Holy Spirit is telling me to continue to stand. The Word says that when two or three come together in His name, He will be in the midst of them. So please pray that my husband and I will be reconciled. I believe in the marriage covenant, and I am standing for my marriage. the Word says God HATES divorce. It also says that we should either reconcile or remain unmarried if we are separated. And I keep hearing the Holy Spirit whisper that “God did not make man or woman to be alone.”
I will be praying for all of you as well. Thank you!
Thank you!
I came to this site looking for revelation and quickly found it, and I truly appreciate your faith and Scripture references.
I’ve been standing for my marriage for two years and five months, which I’m certainly doing in God’s strength and not my own. At times I’ve wanted to give up, but my faith reminds me that God’s Word never comes back to Him void. So I’m standing for my marriage and God has taught me so much during this time, and I would not trade this experience for anything in the world.
My husband left home two years ago and refuses to see me or communicate with me, and I no longer chase after him the way I did the first year. So I’m still as God instructs and know that it’s only through my faith, prayer, fasting, obedience and God’s Word that my husband will come home.
Thanks so much. I am always encouraged each time I read about a stander who never gave up faith, who trusted and believed and hoped against hope that the Sovereign Lord was going to restore their marriage. And I get a little stronger each time I hear of testimonies where God restored and renewed a dead and hopeless marriage. I have faith and trust in God and that He will do the same for me, and know He will because His Word says so. Keep standing everyone…God will perform His Word.
I was looking for encouragement and found this site. I’d also appreciate your prayers for my marriage. Thank you.
Thanks for your encouragement…I found peace in your words. Please pray with me for the restoration of my marriage and that my husband ends his
adultery and comes back home.
Thank you.
I praise God that I ran across this website today. The devil had a plan to destroy my marriage from the very beginning, and in October of 2012, not knowing what else to do, I gave in, and I’ve been living with the pain of knowing that I should have held fast to God’s Word and will ever since. Please agree with me for the restoration of my marriage! I refuse to give up on what I know in my heart is right; however, my husband has lost hope in us. So I would appreciate your prayers for my marriage.
Thank you all for the encouragement to keep standing for my marriage. It’s been ten years since my wife told me that she loves me but is not in love with me. I don’t understand it, but continue to stand for the full restoration of our marriage. We’re still married and live in the same house, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me. So I pray every day for my wife and our marriage.
Thank you for this. I’m also a stander. My husband left a year ago today and came back for four months, but left for the NCP again. And now he refuses to talk to me or the kids. It’s been two months and i miss him so much. I have done the begging and pleading and questioning God, but today I said no more. This is God’s battle and He is in control. So please join me in prayer for my marriage restoration and for my family to be reunited and for God’s will to be done in Jesus’ name.
Kerri, testimonies like yours especially break my heart because so many standers just aren’t ready for restoration when it happens. While we all know to stand for the restoration of our marriages, we almost never know how to do it God’s way, and that’s the ONLY way that works. That process begins with focusing on the changes God needs to make in US so we can be the spouses He calls us to be. And when a spouse has been unfaithful, one of the biggest hurdles is forgiveness because when we don’t forgive an adulterous spouse, they know it and that always makes true restoration impossible. When a spouse feels they can’t win for losing, they just give up trying, and to make matters worse, their former NCPs are almost always waiting for them to go back to them and encouraging them to do so. That’s where a ministry like this comes into play since we keep the focus on growing in our personal walk and relationship with Jesus Christ and learning how to be the wife or husband He created us to be–and gives us the grace to be! So I encourage you to consider becoming a FAM member and participating in the fellowship of other standers so you’ll be ready the next time God moves in your husband’s circumstances and heart. Thankfully, with God, we never fail because He keeps giving us another opportunity to get it right! So may God bless and keep you and your family as you keep drawing ever closer to our Lord and Savior!
Thank you for your site and the Bible verses and words of encouragement. I have been standing in the faith that God shall restore my marriage since October. I stand in the faith that God hates divorce, adultery, false accusations, lies and all the rest. Scripture says that God’s will is to restore and reconcile people to Himself, and He delights in marriage, including ours. Nothing is impossible for God or for His believing body of Christ. I love my wife with a love that passes all human understanding, including my own. She is absolutely by far the greatest treasure God has ever given to me in this life. I surrender my life, marriage, and wife to God and stand in faith that God’s will be done. And I pray everything in the name of Jesus.
Blessings to all the faithful!