As so often happens with the Lord, a repeating theme in the ministry over the past ten days or so has centered around “without a word”, “gentle and quiet spirit” and “submission” so I was thrilled to see that it was the topic of Creflo Dollar’s TV broadcast message today…and what an awesome message it is! Regular visitors to the site, and the FAM members know how vitally important I believe this is as a principle of marriage restoration. In fact, I have even stated that if I could only use one passage of scripture to instruct and counsel all women standing for the restoration of their marriages, it would have to be 1 Peter 3:1-6, which says Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

I believe this passage of scripture is something every woman standing for marriage restoration should read daily if that’s what it takes to make it sink in! And I hope and pray that married women who are not experiencing marital problems at this time know and understand how critically important it is to help keep their marriages strong and vital. Unfortunately, as discussed in yesterday’s SOF post, Learning To Walk In The Spirit, walking in obedience to this passage of scripture is totally contrary to our human nature and that’s why it’s so difficult to do. Yet, I’m firmly convinced that it makes the difference in whether or not we experience the restoration of our marriages, which the Lord has very clearly demonstrated time and time again in the past two weeks. Many FAM members could testify to the connection between their ability to do that and the relationship they have with their husbands. And now when I hear about total chaos and strife in a relationship, I’m fairly confident that the woman is not interacting with her husband in obedience and submission to the wisdom of Peter’s counsel. So I just wish there was a way to help make all of us understand the awesome power that is released when we submit to our husbands in everything just as Ephesians 5:24 tells us, Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

An easy way to help remember and simplify how to walk out the principles of submission and a gentle and quiet spirit is S-A-V-E, which means if it doesn’t Submit & Support, Agree & Affirm, Venerate & Validate, Encourage & Edify, then DON’T say or do it! It really is that simple, so I encourage everyone to try doing that for a day or so and see what happens. You won’t believe it. And this applies to EVERYONE and EVERYTHING when it comes to the words coming out of our mouths and everything we do concerning our husbands.

Earlier this week one of the FAM members shared a beautiful testimony of how the Lord has been working to bring healing and restoration to her marriage and family, and since I’m very much aware of how the Lord has changed her in this process, I was quite pleased when she felt led to share something about what she has learned on the FAM Fellowship website this morning. So I asked her if I could share it with the visitors to this site as well, because I know it’s a very important message and that it will be a blessing to everyone who reads and understands it. So, here’s the message from Jenn, which she simply and appropriately titles “Quiet and Gentle”:

Ladies,
Something has been laid on my heart, and now I feel it pressing on me and that the Lord is leading me to share one of the most important principles I’ve learned about standing for our marriages; and it’s also scripturally sound. In 1st Peter 3:4 it states “Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” I cannot tell you how many times this has come in to play in my stand. And I know that God is honoring me because I am standing firm on being quiet. Yes, ladies, our husbands can be cruel. They can be down right mean and vicious. But remember, it’s the Devil not them that is directing their mannerisms right now. However, when we argue back, yell, nag, complain, snap at them…Guess what? What man would want to be with a woman that acts that way? That is not the attractive nature of a woman’s beauty that God created. Look at what it states in the above verse, “unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”. That is where our beauty is supposed to come from. Beauty from within. If you go further, Proverbs 27:15 states “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.” Proverbs 19:13 also states “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant drip.” I don’t know about you but a constant dripping rain is very depressing to me. What do you think it is doing to our husbands when we are constantly picking at them? Look at Proverbs 21:19…“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” And lastly, Proverbs 25:24…“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Do you see the common phrase in these scriptures? Quarrelsome Wife. The definition of quarrelsome is argumentative. This also means cantankerous, difficult, irritable, confrontational, grouchy, hot-headed… and it’s totally against scripture for a Christian woman. I have pretty much come up with a new saying for myself and I hope it helps you ladies too. I think about this a lot during the day. When things get tough, or I don’t agree with what my husband is saying or doing. I zip it up and I pray it up. And I don’t mean calling up all 20 prayer partners or TV prayer lines that are willing to listen to me whine and cry about the situation to have them pray for me. I mean getting on our knees in our prayer closet and crying to God, surrendering it to Him. I pray that this discussion will speak to each of you for encouragement and many blessings.
Jenn

And then the perfect message to follow Jenn’s words of wisdom and experience, is this awesome message from Dr. Creflo Dollar, The Supportive Roles of Marriage, which is an in depth study of the role of a wife based on the above passage of scripture from 1 Peter 3. This is one message every woman standing for marriage restoration should bookmark and visit often!

The second part of this message from Dr. Dollar is just as good, so there’s a link to it in the next SOF post, Winning Our Husbands Without A Word. Ladies, we need to listen to both of these messages often!

Posted Friday, November 10th, 2006 at 4:01 pm in Seeds Of Faith.