God Is ALWAYS So Faithful!
Deciding whether or not to share my personal trial while standing for marriage restoration on the public section of the site was very difficult, but our God is an AWESOME GOD, and SO FAITHFUL to answer us when we call out to Him, as He promised in Jeremiah 33:3 (NKJV) which says ‘Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.’ I thought of MANY reasons why this might not be a very good idea, but in the end, I feel the Lord wants me to share my experience, and hopefully provide comfort and encouragement for others who might find themselves in a similar situation. Since the Lord’s ways and thoughts are so different than ours and so much higher than ours, as Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us, we can never fully know what the Lord is doing, but when we surrender our lives to Him, He will work in us in ways we could never imagine, and probably ways we would never dream possible.
I received an email message from my husband on Monday, June 5th, in which he told me that he and his girlfriend were getting married on Saturday. That came as quite a surprise since the last court order in our divorce case ordered that our settlement and separation agreement was in full force and effect, without changing anything in it and without stating that the dissolution of marriage remained in tact. My husband and I had discussed that several times over the past year, and he occasionally mentioned that he needed to see an attorney about it, but he did not reply when I asked him Monday night if he had ever done that. I believe we are legally separated, and that the last order reversed the dissolution of our marriage, because it says he did not comply with the terms of the final judgment, which specifically stated that our mediated agreement (which called for us to proceed to a final hearing) would be in effect as long as he complied with it’s terms and that our original settlement and separation agreement would be reinstated and in “full force and effect” if he defaulted. And our original agreement specifically stated that there would not be a final hearing or divorce until he had paid a certain amount of money, which he had not paid when the court reinstated it without any modification. I have no doubt that a good legal case could be made for that opinion, but that’s irrelevant since I have God Almighty on my side, and we can’t do better than that, as Romans 8:31 tells us, What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Even though that was an interesting issue to consider, I was really more concerned about the impact it would have on the ministry. I hadn’t ever allowed myself to consider his remarriage, because I was so confident that the Lord wouldn’t let it happen…and, of course, it still hasn’t happened yet! Anyway, I had a LOT of questions. Like how strange it would feel to love a “married” man, how would this effect how I feel about the things I teach other women and on and on. Well, one thing the Lord is pretty good at is reminding me of the things I say to other women. One of His favorite things to say to me is “How can you tell other women to do that if you’re not going to do it yourself?” Nailed again! I just had a lot to work out in my mind and needed a little time. I kept telling the Lord that I know He is NOT the author of confusion, so I asked Him to help me understand and to give me some kind of clear direction. By Tuesday night I had worked my way through all of the emotions and confusion to realize that I just have to keep standing on the word and promises of God…NO MATTER WHAT I SEE AND HEAR. I started fasting Monday night and will go at least through Saturday, and until the Lord tells me to stop. And a lot of the FAM Fellowship members are praying and fasting with me. I praise the Lord for all of our members and for the blessing they all are to me, and especially for their support at this time.
When we’re troubled, we have to turn to the word for our comfort, strength and help. And one of the things I kept reminding myself was that Romans 8:28 promises that God will work this together for my good somehow and that it HAS to be for the Lord’s praise and glory in ways beyond my understanding. We know that based on Ephesians 1:11-14, which says In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory. So I started trying to understand how this could be used for the Lord’s praise, glory and purpose. Well, the answer to that is pretty obvious if He keeps the wedding from taking place. But EVEN if He doesn’t for some reason known only to Him, there HAS to be something in that for His praise and glory, even if I have a difficult time understanding what it is. And the more I thought about that, I remembered 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, which says Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
So what’s happening in my situation might be a lot more about something the Lord is trying to teach me in order to prepare me for areas of ministry I’d personally rather not have to deal with, because I’ve always felt a certain level of discomfort about standing for marriage restoration once a mate has remarried. The Lord has already started bringing conviction and new revelations to me about that too, especially through a word He gave one of the FAM members. In addition, I realize that I was elevating man’s laws above God’s law, and as long as I’m standing in faith and obedience to the Lord, and since I have not been unfaithful to my marriage, God will honor and defend the covenant we made before Him, and my husband is not released from it. God will NOT honor or recognize that marriage, which He considers adultery, as His word tells us in Matthew 19:9, which says I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.” We know God takes that VERY seriously, as He told us in Malachi 2:13-16 (AMP), which says:
13 And this you do with double guilt; you cover the altar of the Lord with tears [shed by your unoffending wives, divorced by you that you might take heathen wives], and with [your own] weeping and crying out because the Lord does not regard your offering any more or accept it with favor at your hand.
14 Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the covenant made at your marriage] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the wife of your covenant [made by your marriage vows].
15 And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth.
16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate].
So I know that no matter what happens, it IS for HIS praise and glory, and all the Lord wants me to do is learn from the experiences He brings and allows in my life so they can be used to help others and for HIS praise and glory. When we truly yield ourselves completely for His service and purpose, there’s no telling where He will take us, but He never said it would be easy! Not by a long shot! And that’s confirmed in Luke 9:23, where Jesus said Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. In the end, God’s will is what will prevail and whatever happens in my life, if I remain submitted and grounded in my relationship with the Lord, will be for His praise and glory and for my good!
I also realized that I HAD to recognize this as an attack of the devil, meant to destroy me and the ministry the Lord has called me to, and it helped a great deal to be reminded of that. He is the father of all lies and he was trying to convince me that there was no way I could continue in this ministry, because I would no longer have the confidence I needed in God’s word. What a lie! The truth is that we can’t pick an choose which words will apply to our situations to the exclusion of others. For instance, even if the Lord doesn’t answer my prayers and stop this wedding, that doesn’t discount what Romans 8:28 and Ephesians 1:11-14 say. So, in ways we CAN’T understand, ALL of God’s word works together in our lives. And even if the wedding does take place, that doesn’t mean God won’t answer my prayers for my husband. It will just be in HIS time, and not in mine.
By the time I got up Wednesday morning, I had already made my way to many of these conclusions, so imagine how thrilled and amazed I was to read the following email sent by one of the FAM members!
“Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin
Small Straws In A Soft Wind
by Marsha Burns
June 6, 2006: Do not despair; the enemy has done his utmost to bring discouragement.
But, I tell you the truth that this is momentary. This storm will pass, and victory
shall come. Only believe. Trust that I am bringing you by a way that you have never
been before. Stay true to your covenant with Me. Refuse to compromise. Go forth in
the assurance of victory over everything that opposes you in your kingdom purpose.
Be strong. Stand!
Isaiah 42:16 I will bring the blind by a way they did not know; I will lead them
in paths they have not known. I will make darkness light before them, And crooked
places straight. These things I will do for them, And not forsake them.”
The “Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin, with Small Straws in a Soft Wind by Marsha Burns is available here online, where you can subscribe to receive it by email.
For those who don’t realize it, I am blind, so this REALLY had my name and number written ALL over it! What a testimony of how the Lord uses the gifts of one Christian to meet the needs of others. And what confirmation of the power of the Holy Spirit. I have NO doubt that message was very specifically meant for me! And I praise the Lord for it and for Marsha Burns’ faithfulness and obedience to deliver it! I’m sure I will revisit it often, because it is VERY important when the devil tries to convince us that the Lord has forsaken us. The devil is nothing but a liar, because Deuteronomy 31:8 promises The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”