As usual, Charles Stanley’s TV message this morning was excellent, and I encourage everyone to take time to listen to it. It’s based on John 8:31-32 (AMP), which says:
31 So Jesus said to those Jews who had believed in Him, If you abide in My word [hold fast to My teachings and live in accordance with them], you are truly My disciples.
32 And you will know the Truth, and the Truth will set you free.A printable version of the outline is available at this link, where you can watchHow To Build Truth Into Your Life, from March 05, 2006.

No matter what issues we’re dealing with in our lives as Christians, especially as women standing for the restoration of our marriages, there’s just no way to do it without continually abiding in the word of God, which means spending a lot of quality time REALLY studying the Bible and listening to preachers and teachers like Dr. Stanley. I’m always amazed with how much teaching and instruction he can pack into one message. God has certainly anointed him with unique insight and an awesome ability to express biblical principles in a way we can all understand and relate to, so I thank the Lord for him and his willingness to be used by the Lord in such a powerful way!

We often use the word “standing” when referring to our decision not to give up on our marriages, but I wonder if we pay enough attention to how the Bible tells us we’re to do that? It doesn’t do much to know what to do if we don’t know how to do it, so it’s important to see what the Bible tells us about standing. The Bible verses relied on most often are the following verses from Ephesians 6:
10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11 Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place,
15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
19 Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel,
20 for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

I never thought about it before when reading these verses, but they follow Paul’s instructions about living moral and upright lives, and walking in right relationship with others, including our husbands and wives, as seen in Ephesians 5, and they acknowledge and validate how difficult it is to do what he instructs us to do, which is why I think he began them with “Finally.” There is no doubt in my mind that it is not possible for us to stand for the restoration of our marriages without doing exactly what Paul tells us to do in these verses. You’ll get a much clearer understanding of them by reading them in the context of Ephesians 5 and 6, which you can read atwww.BibleGateway.com

So many of the most important principles of faith and marriage restoration are contained or confirmed in these verses, so I’ll be posting this in Heart To Heart with some additional thoughts for the FAM members to discuss. It is my prayer for every woman standing for marriage restoration that you will make the decision to forgive, and learn to see your husband through the eyes of God, and not through the pain of your experience. The devil is your enemy, not your husband and he desperately needs you to love him enough to stand in the gap for him.

Just as it is not possible for us to be reconciled to the Lord by works or without His amazing grace and redemption, it is not possible for our spouses to be restored or reconciled to us unless we extend the same kind of grace, mercy and forgiveness to them that Christ extends to us. So it’s important for us to understand what that means and how essential it is in our lives as Christians; most especially as we stand for the restoration and/or salvation of our marriages and spouses..

I love the following verses from Ephesians, because they express the wonder of God’s grace given to us through the sacrifice of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. They reveal God’s will and GOOD pleasure that all things in heaven and earth will be brought under the head of Jesus Christ, which HE will fulfill when the time is right. They tell us that we were chosen and our lives are predestined and that everything in our lives is worked out for the purpose of conforming us to His will so that we might live for His praise and glory. Then we have the assurance and promise that the Holy Spirit was sent to secure our inheritance as Christians and will enable us to live for the praise and glory of God until the day of our redemption!

Ephesians 1:
6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace
8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
9 And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,
10 to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,
12 in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,
14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.

When we demonstrate the grace of God and make redemption and restoration available for our husbands and wives, God is glorified and His supernatural power is released to bring them into His kingdom and to give us the desire of our hearts. So instead of yearning so much for the restoration of our marriages, we need to yearn for our spouses’ restoration and reconciliation to the Lord, because once they are in right relationship with the Lord, they will be in right relationship with everyone; including us. That’s why I urge everyone standing for marriage restoration to stop focusing so much on their spouses as their spouse; but to interact with them more as someone in need of a Savior or in need of restoration of their walk and relationship with the Lord. And remember that our interaction with our spouses will either lead them to God or away from Him; if they don’t see Christ in us in terms of the way we treat them, why should they ever consider turning their lives over to Him? Needless to say, extending and demonstrating grace to our spouses under such circumstances requires us to walk humbly before them and God. But the good news is that James 4:6 tells us But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” And an easy way to remember GRACE is that God’s Redemption Always Cleanses Everyone! And that means there’s no longer a need to be held accountable for our past sin and mistakes, so God is asking a lot from us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families, but His grace is always sufficient!

Joyce Meyer started a great series this week about the test and trials we encounter, and how they will either be used as Satan’s temptations, or as an opportunity to triumph so the Lord will be glorified. The whole series goes along with a lot of the topics covered this week on the site and in conversations with women standing for marriage restoration or dealing with abusive husbands, but the one this morning was especially timed perfectly to confirm and expand on this week’s Restoration Principles. So please take the time to watch it The Process of Working It Out – Part IV, March 2ndThe rest of the series is available there too and I believe you’ll be blessed by watching it. We ALWAYS need to look for God’s purpose in everything that happens to us, because if we love Him and we’re being obedient to what His word teaches, we KNOW He WILL cause EVERYTHING to work together for good, and for HIS glory, as Romans 8:28 promises.

The following are exerpts from this week’s Restoration Principles, as posted in the members section of our website:

While submission to our husbands is a very challenging and unpopular subject, it’s very clear cut in terms of what the Bible has to say about it, but as women we prefer to change the focus from God’s call for us to submit to our husbands to what a wife is supposed to do if her husband asks her to do something that goes against the word of God, or when he doesn’t love her as Christ loves the church. I know my opinion is VERY controversial and unpopular, but based on what I’ve read and what the above scripture verses say, I believe a wife is called to be obedient and submissive to her husband in EVERYTHING, and “everything” leaves no room for exceptions. When Eve sinned, the sin was accounted to Adam as her husband and the head of her, so IF a husband requires his wife to do something in submission to him that goes against God, he will be the one accounted with the sin. …Personally, I like to think that the Lord protected and delivered Sarah as He did the next time Abraham did the exact same thing to her, and she didn’t have to submit to the horror of being treated in such a shameful and disgraceful manner, but we can’t be sure of that based on what the Bible tells us. If we’re released from the commandment to be obedient and submissive to our husbands under such circumstances (as certainly applied to Sarah), peter wouldn’t have to tell us what he wrote in 1 Peter 3:6 (well worth repeating):
6 It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].Words like “terrify”, “hysterical fears” and “anxieties unnerve you” would seem to acknowledge the expectation of great difficulty in doing whatever it is our husband or our role as wife might require of us. …And if we’re honest, we would all have to confess many areas of disobedience and failure to submit to our husbands or give them the respect and deference God expects, which is what led to our marital problems regardless of whether or not we’re willing to acknowledge that.

The following passages of scripture may be instructive or encouraging as we consider the matter of submission to our husbands, keeping in mind its purpose and the power and authority of Christ and our call as Christian women to glorify Him in ALL that we do.

2 Timothy 2:
3 Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.
4 No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs—he wants to please his commanding officer.
5 Similarly, if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not receive the victor’s crown unless he competes according to the rules.
6 The hardworking farmer should be the first to receive a share of the crops.
7 Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.
8 Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel,
9 for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God’s word is not chained.
10 Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.
11 Here is a trustworthy saying: If we died with him, we will also live with him;
12 if we endure, we will also reign with him.If we disown him, he will also disown us;
13 if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.
23 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.
24 And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
25 Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,
26 and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

2 Timothy 1:
11 And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher.
12 That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day.
13 What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.
14 Guard the good deposit that was entrusted to you—guard it with the help of the Holy Spirit who lives in us.

2 Timothy 3:
16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness,
17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Colossians 2:
2 My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ,
3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.
4 I tell you this so that no one may deceive you by fine-sounding arguments.
5 For though I am absent from you in body, I am present with you in spirit and delight to see how orderly you are and how firm your faith in Christ is.
6 So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him,
7 rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.
8 See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ.
9 For in Christ all the fullness of the Deity lives in bodily form,
10 and you have been given fullness in Christ, who is the head over every power and authority.