Just as it is not possible for us to be reconciled to the Lord by works or without His amazing grace and redemption, it is not possible for our spouses to be restored or reconciled to us unless we extend the same kind of grace, mercy and forgiveness to them that Christ extends to us. So it’s important for us to understand what that means and how essential it is in our lives as Christians; most especially as we stand for the restoration and/or salvation of our marriages and spouses..
I love the following verses from Ephesians, because they express the wonder of God’s grace given to us through the sacrifice of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. They reveal God’s will and GOOD pleasure that all things in heaven and earth will be brought under the head of Jesus Christ, which HE will fulfill when the time is right. They tell us that we were chosen and our lives are predestined and that everything in our lives is worked out for the purpose of conforming us to His will so that we might live for His praise and glory. Then we have the assurance and promise that the Holy Spirit was sent to secure our inheritance as Christians and will enable us to live for the praise and glory of God until the day of our redemption!
6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace
8 that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
9 And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,
10 to be put into effect when the times will have reached their fulfillment—to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.
11 In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will,
12 in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.
13 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,
14 who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.
When we demonstrate the grace of God and make redemption and restoration available for our husbands and wives, God is glorified and His supernatural power is released to bring them into His kingdom and to give us the desire of our hearts. So instead of yearning so much for the restoration of our marriages, we need to yearn for our spouses’ restoration and reconciliation to the Lord, because once they are in right relationship with the Lord, they will be in right relationship with everyone; including us. That’s why I urge everyone standing for marriage restoration to stop focusing so much on their spouses as their spouse; but to interact with them more as someone in need of a Savior or in need of restoration of their walk and relationship with the Lord. And remember that our interaction with our spouses will either lead them to God or away from Him; if they don’t see Christ in us in terms of the way we treat them, why should they ever consider turning their lives over to Him? Needless to say, extending and demonstrating grace to our spouses under such circumstances requires us to walk humbly before them and God. But the good news is that James 4:6 tells us But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” And an easy way to remember GRACE is that God’s Redemption Always Cleanses Everyone! And that means there’s no longer a need to be held accountable for our past sin and mistakes, so God is asking a lot from us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families, but His grace is always sufficient!