Archive for April, 2009

Unconditional Love Means NO Conditions! By Dan Spitz

Monday, April 27th, 2009

(Note from Linda: Dan really hit the nail on the head with the following message, which he posted on the private site this morning, so I appreciate his permission to share it here as well. It’s SO important for all of us to really get and PRACTICE unconditional love, particularly since the Bible tells us that “unfailing” love is what every man (and woman) desires (Proverbs 19:22)! And I’m sure everyone will find the comparison to how we love our children very powerful and quite easy to understand and relate to.

As I was reading Dan’s post, I felt the word “secure” in my spirit, and as he described his love for his kids and what they knew, I realized that they felt “secure” in his love; just as we all should feel secure in God’s love. But the truth is that when we nag and complain and are rarely satisfied with our mates and they feel like they just can’t win with us, they are not going to feel very secure in our love. Yet, that is what loving someone UNCONDITIONALLY does; it makes someone feel secure in our love and creates an environment of freedom and intimacy that isn’t possible otherwise. And guys, this is particularly true for your wives; that’s the kind of intimacy and security they seek. And, of course, speaking words of praise, edification, approval, affirmation, validation and encouragement are how we demonstrate unconditional love. And when we speak contrary words, our spouses feel very unloved and very insecure and very unappreciated. So let’s all learn to speak words of life into our mates and marriages and stop speaking ANY words of death (Proverbs 18:21), and we will indeed be blessed and encouraged with the results…because they will be GOD’S results!)

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We consistently hear and read that we are to love our spouses unconditionally; but what does that mean? When we set conditions for our love and we have requirements that must be met or we demand certain circumstances before or when we “love”…that’s not UNCONDITIONAL love. Unconditional means that we don’t set up requirements or expect certain demands to be met, and unconditional love is not turned on and off by what someone else does or doesn’t do.

I have heard and read many people attempt to explain what unconditional love means and how it can be done, but never really quite understood. I think what finally made sense to me was when I related unconditional love to my kids. I care about their well fare, happiness, well-being and every aspect of their lives without any thought of getting anything from them in return. As infants, they were not capable of returning my love. And as they grew and matured, they knew I didn’t expect them to “earn” my love and they knew there was nothing they could possibly do to make me stop loving them. I appreciated any time they demonstrated their love towards me, but I did not expect it; nor did I demand it. My love for them was not based on any preconceived or preset conditions. And today, they know and trust without a doubt that I am going to love them regardless of what they say or do to me or anyone else. There is absolutely no question about my love for them. There may be times I express concern about what they are doing in their lives, but they know I would never stop loving them.

How much more should we love the one person who God created for us and orchestrated for us to be united with in marriage? We entered into a covenant one-flesh marriage with our spouses, and as husbands, we are commanded to love our wives like Christ loves the church, and wives are commanded to submit to their husbands (Ephesians 5:21-33). In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we are given the meaning of unconditional love, and how I wish I had heeded those verses before.

Unfortunately, I can honestly admit that I expected my wife to reciprocate the love I gave her. I was caught up in the popular myth that a marriage should be a 50/50 relationship. But that is the world’s way, and certainly not God’s. God’s expectation in marriage is that we give 100% of ourselves to our spouses regardless of what we get in return; no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Our love for them should never be based on what we receive from them. And if I had loved my wife as Christ loved the church, I would not be posting on this site!

However, we do know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose for them (Romans 8:28). So we must continue to read, study, absorb and live God’s Word so that we will have the knowledge and understanding in order to receive His wisdom and discernment to welcome our spouses back and love them the way God intended for us to do from the beginning. And we have hope; God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16) and created marriage for a man and a woman for a lifetime–until death (Romans 7:2-3). And we know He hears our prayers which are according to His will and that even when it seems impossible to us, it is ALWAYS possible with God.

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Seeking God for the Righteous Reason

Thursday, April 23rd, 2009

Even though God tells us that we have not because we ask not (James 4:2), that is not an invitation or license for us to tell Him how to do His business; yet that is what a lot of men and women standing for marriage restoration tend to do. Of course, the perfect example for us to follow is Jesus praying to be delivered from the cross (Luke 22:41-44), but ultimately sacrificially accepting GOD’S will.

Sadly, over the years, I have seen many fall away from their stand for marriage restoration, and the reason most standers fall away is because they come to God just seeking help in the restoration of their marriages instead of a personal relationship with God, and they are never able to truly love and trust Him, especially if He doesn’t appear to be restoring their marriages and families. And God definitely knows the difference even if we don’t, and since His Word instructs and commands us to love and seek HIM FIRST (Matthew 6:32-33) and with ALL of our hearts, minds, soul and strength (Mark 12:29-31); putting no other Gods or idols before Him (Exodus 20:2-4, God most definitely is not going to help or bless and reward us as we break His commandments! And we are told very clearly in James 4:3…When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. So our prayers are much more likely to be answered when they are RIGHTEOUS and line up with what we KNOW is the Word and will of God. As Jesus taught in John 15:5…If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. And when we truly know and understand the Word of God, we won’t try to tell Him how to do His business or ask for things that we know don’t line up with His written Word. Yes, God wants us to share our burdens, cares and hearts’ desires with Him, but we need to be very careful when it comes to telling Him the when, where and how we expect or believe He should grant our petitions and make sure that they are righteously motivated.

One reason such prayers are so dangerous is that they are very ineffective and prideful…and God OPPOSES the proud, so we become discouraged, disheartened and even angry when God doesn’t meet OUR expectations and demands or abide by OUR time tables. Yet I can’t think of many promises in the Lord’s Word that come with details such as the when, where and how, so those are just limitations we’re trying to put on God to suit our own agenda and His ways just aren’t our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9)! And God ALWAYS knows what is best for us so much better than we do, so we just have to trust Him enough to be able to walk in the wisdom, power and promise of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-20, which we will when we just BELIEVE AND OBEY IT!

Teresa recently shared the following on the private FAM Fellowship website, and based on the responses, other members realized that they were doing the same thing as well. So I want to share it here too because our relationship with God should be based on WHO HE IS and not what we want Him to give us. And the best way to more fully grasp how important it is to put our trust in God and humble ourselves under His mighty hand as we stand and pray for the restoration of our marriages is to read Job 7-42 as Teresa’s post suggested. And if we really want to be blessed and encouraged beyond belief, we need to heed and keep in mind that Job’s very hopeless and dire circumstances did NOT turn around UNTIL he prayed for his friends…NOT FOR HIMSELF, as revealed in Job 42:10…After Job had prayed for his friends, the LORD made him prosperous again and gave him twice as much as he had before.

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Seeking God’s Agenda by Teresa in Arizona

Hello FAM Family!!! I want to share something that God has laid on my heart, which has been confirmed several times (as God always does).

Recently, I have felt that God was asking me “Are you serving Me because of what you believe I will do for you, or are you serving Me because of who I AM?” And soon after having that question posed to me, I heard Joyce Meyers say “Are we praying “more of you, God” or “more stuff from you, God?” and I was reminded of Job saying…”Even though you slay me I will trust in you.”

I have several obstacles in my life right now and there don’t seem to be any answers or concrete solutions to resolve them, so I have cried out to God; being angry because there is not a light at the end of the tunnel and telling the Lord “if only you would do this or that” or asking “Why won’t you show me the way?” I have struggled with whether or not I should even be standing and with condemnation because I am standing for a second marriage. So I have many battles going on, and that’s when God posed this question to me. And it breaks my heart to think that I have questioned God himself when the cross alone tells me more than enough how much He loves me and shows me the depths to which He goes for us!!!

I have just begun reading a book about Jesus’ prayer life and I’d like to share a prayer that’s been a good example to me. The author talks about how we are not very good LISTENERS when we pray; we would much rather tell God our latest ideas and plans. But in Job 38, God responded to Job by saying “Did you counsel Me when I put together the seas and the mountains?” Hearing that, Job responded in humility before God, and that’s how our response should be when we are tempted to tell God how to run His ministry. : “O Lord, forgive my ignorance. Who am I to tell You what I think is best in redeeming a world? I did not lay down my life. You did it! It was Your Son and His blood that brought our redemption. And it was Your Holy Spirit that You poured out on Your people to give them resurrection life and power. Who am I to tell You how to bring this world to Yourself? You alone know, O Lord.”

I am praying now that God will put me on His agenda in all I do; that I will work “with” Him and not just for Him. There are many things we “do” as Christians that seem good, but are we doing what God has called us to do? So I am asking God to reveal my motives so I know what is of Him and what is of me.

All I know for certain is that God is good and no matter what this life brings, He will never leave me nor forsake me. He will finish what He has started and I know that this life is in preparation for our real home in eternity. So I pray that we would all seek to have God’s Agenda in our lives and that we would be eternally minded rather than temporal minded. It is then that our circumstances, which are temporal, will become small and God will become BIG!

Praise God for His constant revelation in our lives and for the wonderful encouragement and exhortation we receive from one another. God bless you all!

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Does God REALLY Expect Wives to Submit to Ungodly Husbands?

Tuesday, April 21st, 2009

Though not very popular teaching, the simple answer to whether or not God really expects and even commands wives to submit to ungodly husbands who are not saved or being obedient to His Word is a resounding “YES!” And since that’s been a rather challenging topic of discussion with FAM members recently, and it’s my responsibility to teach and present the Word of God as He has led me to understand it, I want to share some vitally important passages of scripture for everyone standing for marriage restoration. And then it’s up to each of us to determine for ourselves how they apply to us and our individual and specific situations.

First and foremost, we have to be careful to avoid using a single verse of scripture in God’s Word in an effort to justify and rationalize our attitudes and behavior, especially when there APPEAR to be conflicting verses and passages of scripture, which most likely just means that one thing is true in some circumstances or up to a certain point, and then something else is true. As the Bible teaches, we need to hear and heed the WHOLE counsel of God (Acts 20:27) because we live by EVERY WORD that comes from the mouth of God (Deuteronomy 8:3). And whether women like it or not, the Bible VERY SPECIFICALLY teaches wives to SUBMIT to their husbands, and it even tells us to do so when they are being disobedient to the Word; which obviously means even though they are breaking God’s commandments.

Ephesians 5:22-24 says (with my emphasis added) Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. And please note that this says IN EVERYTHING and did not mention ANY exceptions and since GOD is NOT the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), the meaning of this is pretty clear and unambiguous. Yet to eliminate any doubt that God means that wives are to submit to their husbands IN EVERYTHING AS TO THE LORD EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT BEING GODLY and obeying the Word of God, we can read 1 Peter 3:1-6, which (in the Amplified Bible) INSTRUCTS IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives, When they observe the pure and modest way in which you conduct yourselves, together with your reverence [for your husband; you are to feel for him all that reverence includes: to respect, defer to, revere him–to honor, esteem, appreciate, prize, and, in the human sense, to adore him, that is, to admire, praise, be devoted to, deeply love, and enjoy your husband]. Let not yours be the [merely] external adorning with [elaborate] interweaving and knotting of the hair, the wearing of jewelry, or changes of clothes; But let it be the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God. For it was thus that the pious women of old who hoped in God were [accustomed] to beautify themselves and were submissive to their husbands [adapting themselves to them as themselves secondary and dependent upon them]. It was thus that Sarah obeyed Abraham [following his guidance and acknowledging his headship over her by] calling him lord (master, leader, authority). And you are now her true daughters if you do right and let nothing terrify you [not giving way to hysterical fears or letting anxieties unnerve you].

And let’s NOT forget just what it was that Abraham asked Sarah to do!!! He asked her to hide the fact that she was his wife so that HE could be spared and she could be taken by the Pharaoh and later King Abimelech and he would then be rewarded and treated well (Genesis 12 and Genesis 20)! Yes, Sarah was indeed Abraham’s half sister, but he was lying to save his own life and apparently didn’t care that much about what would happen to Sarah as a result of that. Yet she SUBMITTED to his request even though it obviously meant that she and the men they deceived could end up committing adultery, which is obviously wrong and sinful in the eyes of God. And even though we don’t really know what happened with Pharaoh, we know God saved her from that fate the second time with the king! YET THIS IS THE EXAMPLE PETER TELLS WIVES TO FOLLOW!!!

BUT the only way to fully understand this passage of scripture is to read what preceded it (particularly 1 Peter 2:23), which we have to do since 1 Peter 3:1 said “IN LIKE manner…” (and please note the caps!).in like manner to what? To find out, we have to see what came before these instructions, and 1 Peter 2:18-25 says Slaves, submit yourselves to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and considerate, but also to those who are harsh. For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. “He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.” When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly. He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.

Unfortunately, people tend to use this teaching to open up a can of worms as they propose all sorts of hypothetical situations in an effort to challenge or refute it…so I sure am glad it’s not MY responsibility to explain or defend it! GOD wrote it and it’s up to HIM to speak to each one of us to help us understand what it means and how to apply it to our particular situations; yet the meaning seems pretty clear to me. WIVES ARE TO OBEY AND SUBMIT to their husbands IN EVERYTHING AS UNTO THE LORD AND THEN TRUST GOD WITH THE CONSEQUENCES!!! That means being agreeable with our husbands and putting all of our hope, faith and trust in God to protect and deliver us; knowing that even if our submission IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD leads us into sinful behavior because we are humbling ourselves under the mighty hand of God by following HIS instructions to submit to our husbands IN EVERYTHING, the sin will be accounted to our husbands; just as ours is to Christ and just as Eves was to Adam (Romans 5:12 and 1 Timothy 2:14). And when we submit to our husbands in everything as unto the Lord, we’re demonstrating that we love and trust Him because we’re obeying His VERY SPECIFIC instructions for wives to submit to even disobedient and unsaved husbands. So IF our hope is to win disobedient and/or unsaved husbands over…and we fail to do as God’s Word instructs, based on what Jesus taught in Luke 6:46-49, we can’t necessarily count on Him to move SUPERNATURALLY on our behalf to save and deliver them from the hold the devil has on them and restore our marriages and families.

It’s also pretty exciting and encouraging to realize how Peter’s teaching from Chapter 3 lines up with God’s instructions in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 to husbands and wives when an unbelieving spouse leaves, because it says But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? As most of us know, many believe and teach that these verses mean that we are not bound by our marriage vows when our spouse leaves, but nothing could be farther from the truth (for more detail, read Marriage, Divorce & Remarriage)! Since the first mention of separation and divorce and the last mention of it and the first mention of remarriage in 1 Corinthians 7 (verses 10, 11 and 39) VERY UNEQUIVOCALLY say that marriage is for life and that we can NOT remarry as long as our spouse lives (not withstanding Jesus’ declarations in Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:8-9), it makes absolutely NO SENSE that Paul, who we know by reading the whole chapter was NOT pro marriage, would say that marriage was for life in the beginning and end of the passage and say something totally different (FOR ANY REASON) in the middle! No, as Paul goes to such great lengths to declare in verse 10, as he does nowhere else in scripture that I know of, the instructions GOD gave to him in verses 15 and 16 were obviously based on the same principles Jesus taught in Luke 15:11-32, which are illustrated and spelled out in even more detail in Hosea 2. And just as happened in both of these passages of scripture, when our spouses want to leave, IF we just LET THEM GO AND TRUST AND OBEY GOD, GOD WILL work SUPERNATURALLY to BRING THEM BACK!!! And since both 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 and 1 Peter 3:1-6 reveal the importance of living in peace (having a gentle and quiet spirit) and the power that has to attract our spouses and impact and bring about their salvation and deliverance, it’s obvious that everyone standing for marriage restoration should focus on whatever it takes to live and walk in peace; especially since Romans 14:17 declares that the kingdom of God is about righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit! And that’s even further confirmed in the instructions given to all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages in 1 Peter 3:14-16, which says But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

While I fully understand what a difficult and challenging teaching this is, it is nonetheless what I believe the Bible teaches, and the only way to walk it out is by the grace given to us by God when we truly put all of our hope and trust in Him. His grace is indeed sufficient and we can do all things through Christ Who strengthens us! So I pray that everyone will study the Bible references and seek the Lord’s guidance because I’m fully convinced and persuaded by countless conversations and my experience witnessing how the Lord works in marriage restoration, that this is vitally important for anyone seeking to understand God’s command to let our spouses go when they want to leave and for women to SUBMIT to husbands even when they are not acting very godly and in accordance with the Word of God. God and God alone has to bring conviction to our spouses’ of their wrong doing, and it is and always will be HIM and HIM alone Who can and will change their hearts and redirect their paths. And when we put all of our hope, faith and confidence in God and the power and promise of His Word, we will have the peace of God that’s so attractive and powerful as we stand for marriage restoration, and we’ll be blessed with the manifestation of God’s awesome promise in 1 Peter 1:3-7, which says Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. And praise God for the blessed assurance we have in 1 Peter 2:3-6< which declares As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him—you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For in Scripture it says: “See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame.”

So, wives, just as Jesus did, we have to entrust ourselves to Him Who ALWAYS judges justly (1 Peter 2:23) and expect that when we submit to our husbands in obedience to God, HE will protect and deliver us the same way He did Sarah, and by HIS great power and unfailing faithfulness, we will NOT be put to shame! So as we let the Lord speak to us concerning this, may we all be blessed and encouraged in Christ Jesus as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families in His name and authority and for His glory! AMEN!

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Two Voices by Lorraine Ezell

Tuesday, April 14th, 2009

(Note from Linda: Based on recent posts on the private FAM Fellowship website and numerous conversations, I know this is a VERY timely message for many! So I hope and pray that everyone standing for marriage restoration who feels that you have taken a step backwards or fallen down will make the right choice and listen to the voice of our Heavenly Father; Who loves us so much that He gave His only begotten Son for us and Who wants nothing but HIS very best for us! And that should be more than enough to bless and encourage all of us, especially if we take Him at His Word and know that NO wisdom, No insight and NO plan can succeed against Him (Proverbs 21:30) and that IF we get back up, WE WILL WALK IN VICTORY! After all, as John 10:4 declares…When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. So know and listen to HIS voice and you will indeed be very blessed and encouraged as you follow HIM!)

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“Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.” Psalm 37:24

When babies first start learning to walk, they do a lot of falling down. My grandbaby is walking very well now, but a few weeks ago she was spending a lot of time falling down. Each time she would fall, I would clap and laugh and act like it was a great accomplishment. As a result, she would get right on up with a great big smile on
her face and take off walking again- she didn’t lay there and cry, or wait for you to pick her up and she didn’t give up.

Do you every feel like that baby learning to walk? Do you ever feel like you spend more time falling down than you do walking? Do you ever feel like for every step you take forward you take two steps back? Do you feel like you make one step then trip and fall on the second step? Honestly, I have felt like that. I still feel like that some times. Some days it’s just so hard to get my “land legs”. Some days my footing isn’t very secure. Some times I feel like I am always falling flat on my face.
When I do wind up “on the ground- flat on my face”, I hear two voices speaking to me. One is the voice of the enemy who spews out his lies, accusations and condemnations at me. He tells me that I will never “get it right”. He tells me I am a failure. He tells me I need to just give up. He encourages me to stay down and not try again. He tells me to lay there and feel sorry for myself- wallow in my pain and hurt and inability. He tries to heap guilt on me. Then there is the other voice. It is the voice of my Father who tells me that it will be all right. Who tells me to get up and try again. Who tells me “you can do it”. Who does for me what I did for my grandbaby. He cheers me on. He tells me I will succeed. He reaches for me, helps me up, stands me back on my feet, dusts me off and sends me on my way. He tells me He still loves me.

I know the same two voices come to you also when you fall. The question is which one are you going to listen to? Are you going to listen to the enemy and lay there and give up? Or are you going to listen to the voice of your loving heavenly Father cheering you on?

Have a great day. The voice you listen to will determine whether you stay down in defeat or get up and walk in victory.

*****

Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

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God is THE Artist at Work by Karen in Texas

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

(Note from Linda: Karen shared the following message on the private website last night, and since I can’t think of a more powerful illustration and message to bless and encourage every man and woman standing for marriage restoration, I want to share it here as well. What a powerful illustration of just how God works in our lives, and even more so to fully restore our marriages and families–and ALL for HIS glory! So read this and be blessed and encouraged to know that GOD ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING and when He is done, we will se something so much more beautiful and spectacular than we could ever ask dream or imagine! God ALWAYS completes the good work He has begun, so give your ALL to Him, and be blessed and encouraged! The same resurrection power that brought our Lord and Savior up out of that tomb can and will resurrect the deadest and most impossible of marriages if we just trust and obey! So be blessed and encouraged this day as we rejoice and celebrate the greatest act of love ever known to man and the greatest power ever demonstrated on earth!)

*****

Happy Easter, everyone! Christ has risen…He has risen indeed!

We had an early Easter service at our church tonight and up front by the praise band, an artist was at work, completing an entire drawing while we worshiped God. As I watched this artist, I felt like the Lord was whispering to me that He works that same way in our lives and in our marriages.

The artist began with a blank canvas and it was obvious as he worked that he had a vision in his mind’s eye of how the completed canvas would look; although, for a long time, I just couldn’t see it. He seemed to make random strokes and at times appeared to be changing his mind as he ran his hand across parts, smudging and softening lines he had just drawn. Frankly, when he first began drawing and smudging, drawing and smudging, the canvas just looked dirty and not artistic at all. Interestingly enough, the drawing had two focal points; one on each side of the canvas. He would diligently work on one side and then go to the other and then methodically back to the first. Part of the time, I could not even see what he was doing because his back was to me and my view was blocked. Eventually, I thought I could see pictures forming and tried to guess at what he was drawing; only later to be proven wrong as the drawing took on a different look. Finally, I trusted the artist to work and took my attention off him and returned to praising and worshiping the greatest Artist of all!

I believe this illustrates God’s work in our marriages and lives. Our marriages have temporarily been removed from us so that God has a new canvas on which to work. He has a vision and never for one moment is a stroke out of place…He knows exactly what He is doing. Sometimes we see positive strokes where we clearly witness the hand of God; only for them to become “smudged,” creating confusion in us because we can’t conceive of the smudges being part of God’s master plan. And honestly, if we look at our marriages during this time of reconstruction, they just look messy; not like beautiful artwork at all, but He is not finished yet. The comparison of the two sides of the painting is obvious. God starts His work with standers first; forming us into new images of His making that are pleasing to Him. And THEN he works on our spouses, returning to us to further refine us, and then back to our spouse and so on, finally bridging and blending the two sides together. And sometimes we cannot see anything God is doing. But we shouldn’t become frustrated; we should just realize that our view is only temporarily blocked. Although we can’t see; He is still working and the smartest thing we can do is trust the Artist and leave it in His hands, and return to our praise and worship.

After I took my attention off the artist and placed it back on my worship, the time passed quicker than I thought and before I knew it, the artist was finished and was standing proudly next to his creation. Words cannot even describe the beauty of it. The colors were perfect; every line and smudge intentional and purposeful. On the left, the side where he first began his work, was a drawing of Jesus on the cross; our sin paid for through His sacrifice. Likewise, our marriage restoration starts at the foot of the cross. The right side held a drawing of Jesus in His glory; resurrected and lifted high. And in the same way, our journey of marriage restoration will end with the focus on Christ and God getting all the glory!

I am no artist, so I felt a touch of awe, watching a blank canvas emerge into a work of art. Thank goodness, it never entered my mind to march up to the front and grab some of the colors and start to do my own work on the canvas. I would have ruined the whole thing! So, as a stander, I will remember what I experienced today and what I learned. I thank God for pointing out to me that He is at work and is creating something more beautiful in me, in my husband, in our marriage and in our family than any earthly artist ever could!

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I Learned to Stay Humble, Stay Obedient and Stay in Faith! by Nik

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

(Note from Linda: This powerful Marriage Restoration Testimony was shared on the private FAM Fellowship website over the weekend, and since it has so many powerful and VITALLY IMPORTANT messages for every man and woman standing for marriage restoration, I want to share it here as well. When I talked to Nik after she posted this, I was really struck by something she reminded me of from our first conversation; which she said had a tremendous impact on her and that it came to her mind over and over again. Her husband apparently believed that there was nothing wrong with indulging in casual sexual relationships and that she shouldn’t have a problem with that or be offended by it…and that despite that he also professed and acted as if he had a strong relationship with the Lord. Needless to say, Nik did have a problem with that and was quite upset and confused. She ended up asking him to leave and then proceeded to do all she could to “straighten him out.” Of course, as
we all know, that doesn’t work, which just made her angrier and even more frustrated. So I urged her to focus a lot more on prayer, trusting that God could do what she couldn’t do and told her that her behavior and attitude toward her husband was like trying to clean a fish before catching it. When we talk about unconditional love, it really does have to be UNCONDITIONAL; as demonstrated so powerfully in Romans 5:8, which says…But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. And as we’re told in Proverbs 19:22…What a man desires is unfailing love…. So Nik focused on letting the Lord do the work that had to be done in her during the time of no contact with her husband and trusted that God would do what needed to be done in him. I was especially touched and impressed by how she COVERED him when he was about to make an excuse about why he couldn’t join her and their son that day—she REALLY let him go and GOD honored and blessed her faith and humility and moved SUPERNATURALLY in her husband’s heart! She really did learn and understand the SUPERNATURAL POWER AND PROMISE of humility (1 Peter 5:5-8), obedience (Luke 6:46-49 and John 14:23) and faith (John 15:7Matthew 9:19 and Hebrews 10:38 and Hebrews 11:6)! Nik also shared in a lot more detail what she had to do to overcome her flesh to learn humility, obedience and to walk in faith, which she has promised to share more about in an upcoming post, and I’ll share that here as well when she does, because it is in the DOING of what God’s Word teaches that we find the hope and victory it promises! So read Nik’s powerful Restored Marriage Testimony and take the valuable lessons she learned to heart, because what God does for one, He WILL do for all and when we just learn as Nik did to STAY humble, STAY obedient and STAY in faith, we will indeed be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!)

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Hi FAMM Family!

It is with great joy in my heart and praise in my mouth that I write this post and share my praise and testimony. I am so encouraged and thankful for the blessings that God has bestowed on my family. I joke a bit when I tell people that it takes four ministers to counsel me each week, but for the past ten months that has been my reality because I was so consumed by disappointment, hurt and anger that I had to CONSTANTLY combat it with the Word of God.

When my husband and I separated, things were so bad that our pride made us both feel that silence and no contact with each other was the best approach, and we went six months without a word to each other. As time went on, I prayed diligently that God would soften my heart and give me the courage to continue to stand for my marriage. And I had absolutely no one to rely on except the wonderful Seeds Of Faith posts and your praise and restored marriage testimonies. They were (and still are) so reassuring that God still sits on the throne! And no one can deliver from His righteous hand and no one can cancel the work He performs (Isaiah 43:13)!

While getting ready for church a few months back, I heard Joel Osteen teaching a message on being closer than you think and the bells chimed! He gave an example of climbing a mountain for sport, and the closer he came to the top, the more difficult the climb got. But just as he was about to give up, a man who was heading down the mountain said five simple words to him that really helped…”You’re closer than you think!” I held on to that message, and planted that seed in my heart. After all, Zechariah 9:12 tells us to return to our stand and be prisoners of hope because God will restore us double. And it’s important for all of us to realize and confirm that God is not a respecter of persons. If He can restore one marriage, He can restore them all. We must simply humble ourselves to His authority and stand in obedience!! So stay in faith!!

Each day I could feel my anger dissipate and my heart soften towards my husband. And back in January, I was sowing seed into a ministry when I felt God telling me to make the gift in both my husband’s and my name. Even though I laughed a bit and wondered what for; I was obedient. And two weeks later my husband sent me a text message, saying to contact him if I needed anything. We hadn’t spoken in 4 months and I didn’t recognize the number, so I thought it was a wrong number. But God kept pressing on my heart that it was my husband; yet I never responded to the text message. Then about three weeks later, I sent him an email message regarding our son, and within an hour, he responded. We made plans for him to visit our son, but he didn’t show. I knew the enemy would have me reclaim my anger, but I praised God and confirmed that our next meeting would go as planned and be all the more powerful instead! Then one week later, I called him at work and told him that I would be out his way visiting my in-laws if he wanted to drop by. And I didn’t even mention the prior meeting we had arranged, which meant nothing to me because I already knew God was at work. When we go from silence to speaking, we KNOW it’s GOD! He started to give me excuses about why he couldn’t make it, so I stopped him and told him kindly that we would love to see him but totally understood if he couldn’t make it. I actually heard him exhale and could swear I heard him smile. It’s funny because God had already revealed to me how the day would go, so I didn’t even bat an eye when he started to decline my invitation. I know God doesn’t give us desires in our hearts unless he plans to bring them forth, and I knew that in and of myself, I could not repair or restore my marriage.

My husband ended up taking a half day off from work to spend the day with us and we have been together ever since!!! So our family was restored on March 6, 2009! And if you could read the notes in my Bible, you would see that I declared the enemy defeated on June 19, 2008!!! But it took nine months for my declaration to be made manifest because of my pride! So please trust me on that one! It’s only by God’s grace and my trust in Him, that my family is restored. I was ready to give up, but His ways are not our ways!! If God tells us to stand, then that’s what we do! No matter what things look like or feel like…and no matter who stands with us! God is with us, so who can be against us (Romans 8:31)?

As soon as I put away my pride, hurt and anger, God moved in my life! My barriers were blocking my blessings. And Every event God has spoken to me about has come to pass in these past few months and my total trust is in Him!! Praise God! So I stand committed to my full and complete restoration. I know that what God has joined together NO MAN can put asunder (Mark 10:9)! And I know that He will complete the work He has begun in us (Philippians 1:6)! And we are commanded to set aside old habits, happenings and hurts (Isaiah 43:18)!

Standing alone for any cause can be a very lonely time and experience, and the world will count us out; BUT it’s not over until GOD says it’s over! The scars can sting, but they can’t destroy us. Praise be to God! One day last November, I actually heard someone refer to me as my husband’s “ex-wife”…which I thought was possible since I didn’t respond to the divorce papers I was served with; I just threw them in the trash because I knew that based on God’s promises to me, that’s all they were! But I learned that the enemy is CONSTANTLY seeking to devour and cast doubt in our minds. And unless we’re CONSTANTLY upholding the shield of faith, we will get weary and knocked down. So we have to stay encouraged and stay in faith!! If God told us to stand for our marriages, then that’s what we are to do until He tells us otherwise…even when we don’t want to, even when we are tired and most especially, even when we feel like giving up! And Linda can definitely attest to the fact that I’m speaking from experience!

So be a prisoner of hope, stay humbled and stay in faith!!! I love you and pray for all of us! OUR GOD IS STILL ON THE THRONE!!! Linda, please move us to the Restored Marriage list! Praise be to God!!!

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Sharing a VERY Deep and Powerful Message from Glenn Jackson

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

I was really touch by the following message from Glenn Jackson, which I just read as I once again attempt to “clean out” my inbox. As I’ve shared in several recent conversations with FAM Fellowship members, I am really concerned about the consequences and harm done by what I often refer to as “the watered down version of God’s Word.” And Glenn so perfectly expressed the concern of my heart when He wrote (my emphasis added): “In their failure to “allow” Him – by the power of the Holy Spirit – to bring them to the place wherein they have learned to continually acknowledge HIM in ALL of their ways, many have been used by Satan and his forces to establish an entire “network” of so-called Christian service – but, in reality, it is a “service” and relationship that DOES NOT HAVE its origin in Christ – the Anointed One and His Anointing. What this has produced is a spirit of mass confusion where the “world” is concerned – as they look out upon the church. This strategy of the Evil One, alone, is responsible for great numbers remaining in heavy bondage to the deep darkness that is increasing day by day in the world.” So I encourage everyone to thoughtfully read and meditate on this powerful message and truly understand why it is SO important for all of us to get our hearts right with the Lord, TRULY HUMBLING OURSELVES UNDER HIS MIGHTY HAND (1 Peter 5:5-8), so that He can use us for His highest purposes as we stand on the power and promise of His Word against the gates of hell for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families; both for our good and His glory! And when we do that, we won’t even be able to contain the blessings and encouragement we will receive in return!

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THE LIFE OF FAITH AND THE GLORIOUS CHURCH – 2009
APRIL 7TH
“MANY HAVE BEEN USED BY SATAN AND HIS FORCES TO ESTABLISH AN ENTIRE NETWORK OF SO-CALLED CHRISTIAN SERVICE – BUT, IN REALITY, IT IS A SERVICE AND RELATIONSHIP THAT DOES NOT HAVE ITS ORIGIN IN CHRIST”
….”Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight”…. Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB

How the heart of the Father is “robbed” [of the intimate fellowship He so desires] by the continual adherence of many of His children to a spirit of self-reliance [the leaning of one upon their own darkened understanding through ANY form of agreement with the lies of the Evil One]. In their failure to “allow” Him – by the power of the Holy Spirit – to bring them to the place wherein they have learned to continually acknowledge HIM in ALL of their ways, many have been used by Satan and his forces to establish an entire “network” of so-called Christian service – but, in reality, it is a “service” and relationship that DOES NOT HAVE its origin in Christ – the Anointed One and His Anointing. What this has produced is a spirit of mass confusion where the “world” is concerned – as they look out upon the church. This strategy of the Evil One, alone, is responsible for great numbers remaining in heavy bondage to the deep darkness that is increasing day by day in the world. There is only one possible solution to this problem and that is the advent of a true and Glorious Church – a Church that is both possessed and ordered by the Holy Spirit. A Church – both individually and corporately – where Christ is truly ALL in ALL [Ephesians 1:17-23]!

“THERE ARE MANY IN THE CHURCH WHOSE LIVES REMAIN DEVOID OF LIBERTY”
There are still many who are totally unaware of the intense [fiery] and absolute judgement of God that is about to come forth to an even greater degree in the midst of His people [1 Corinthians 3:10-15]. There can only be one reason for this, and that is a failure of the child of God to enter into – and abide in – the perfect fellowship daily in the “inner chamber” that is required of them by their loving Father. In these days, ALL that has its origin apart from Christ is going to be exposed! Even now, there are many in the church whose lives remain devoid of “liberty” [“where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty”]
[2 Corinthians 3:17] and, thus, they are “powerless” to escape the horrendous consequences that they have sown to in their unbelief and religious exercise. There are others whose ministries are crumbling around them. This is not a result of Satan’s attack, for it is certain that they were already in his control and being used by him to keep many children of God far below the fullness of their precious inheritance in Christ. This “crumbling” is the perfect result of a holy God humbling ALL that has sought to exalt itself above His holy Word [Will]!

“IN THIS ARMY NO “TREACHERY” WILL BE FOUND – OR ANY OTHER HEART-ATTITUDE OR MIND-SET THAT PROMOTES THE SELF-XALTATION AND SELF-AGENDA THAT ARE BOTH AN AFFRONT TO THE PRECIOUS BLOOD OF JESUS AND THE HEART OF A PERFECT AND HOLY FATHER”
It is the heart of the Father for each and every one of His children to enter into His presence daily in order that His Glorious light might continually shine forth in their heart – both unearthing and consuming any “ground” that is at enmity with His precious Wisdom and tender love. If one continues on wilfully in their “religious exercise” in these days they will indeed fall FAR short of the glorious “Kingdom-position” that the Father has for them, and they will surely be found “unfit” to carry the banner of truth and righteousness and love that will go before His glorious Army [Joel 2:1-13] in this final battle of the Church Age. In this Army no “treachery” will be found – or any other heart-attitude or mind-set that promotes the self-exaltation and self-agenda that are both an affront to the precious Blood of Jesus and the heart of a perfect and holy Father. Let us be found true, faithful and trustworthy to the highest purposes of the Kingdom in these most glorious days. Let us be diligent to acknowledge the Father and His Word in ALL of our ways. For it is in this way – and this way alone – that we will have the divine assurance in our heart that we are in the center of the Father’s will – perfectly motivated by His love in ALL things.

Related Scriptures: Isaiah 60:2; John 15:5; 1 Peter 4:17; Matthew 5:48; Matthew 6:33; 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a
Jesus Is Lord Ministries Vertical

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You can read Glenn’s messages online or sign up to receive them by email daily on his website.

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The Bird’s Song by Lorraine Ezell

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

“Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.” Psalm 150:6

As day was breaking this morning I heard a little bird outside my window chirping loudly. I wondered what he was “saying”. Of course, I can’t interpret “bird language” but I have a feeling that he wasn’t complaining about how it has turned off cold. I don’t think he was bemoaning the state of the economy. I don’t think he was fearfully wondering where his next meal was coming from. I don’t think he was singing a song of gloom, despair, worry or fear.

I believe he was singing a song of praise- praise to God for giving him a new day, for watching over him and taking care of him. May I remind you this morning that the birds don’t have jobs, they don’t have grocery stores, they don’t live in heated and cooled houses, they live in nests, they catch bugs and dig for worms, yet they have everything that they need. How? Because there is a God above who feeds them and attends to all their needs. This God is our heavenly Father. So may I remind you also that if He cares so much for the birds that He feeds them every day, doesn’t He care for you more? Aren’t you more valuable to Him than they are? So why are you singing the song of worry? Why is your conversation one of fear? Why are you complaining? Why aren’t you speaking in faith? Why aren’t your words filled with praise?

“Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?” (Matthew 6:25-26)
“Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore:
ye are of more value than many sparrows.” (Luke 12:6-7)

Have a great day. If God doesn’t forsake the birds’ needs, if He takes care of them, if He provides for them, won’t He do the same for you… and much more?

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Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

We greatly appreciate and thank Lorraine for her permission to share and reprint her Coffee Break devotionals here to bless and encourage our visitors!

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God is Good…ALL the Time! by Karla

Monday, April 6th, 2009

(Note from Linda: The FAM Fellowship members are again blessed by a powerful and encouraging message and After Marriage Restoration testimony from Karla, and I really appreciate her permission to share it here as well because I know many men and women standing for marriage restoration will be blessed by it too. When we consider Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18, there is no way to deny that God is indeed good ALL the time and that no matter what we hear or see, with God it is ALWAYS good! So study and memorize those verses and be blessed and encouraged because they cover it ALL!)

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Hi FAMM Family! I apologize for how long it’s been since I last posted, but my husband and I have been spending time catching up on home projects that were left undone for eight months. And we’ve been spending a lot of time with the kids as a family because we want to make sure they feel secure after all of our separations. We’ve also been spending a lot of time just catching up since we spent the last three years in and out of separations, until we finally got our act together and trusted God with our marriage!

The title of this post is something we say in church each Sunday when we “pass the peace” and our pastor even makes us repeat it if we are not enthusiastic enough about it. In fact, he often keeps it up until we are yelling it! And it happens to be what I have taken away from my three year journey to marriage restoration, because God was good…ALL the time! He was good when things went bad; He was good when I made mistakes; He was good when my world was crumbling around me; He was good when I didn’t trust Him; He was good when I whined, grumbled, and complained before I let go; and He was good even when I blamed Him for my marriage not being restored when I wanted it restored. God was good, and is good…ALL the time!

In the NIV study bible, “good” is referenced one hundred twenty-three times, so I want to share some of them here. One of the ones we hear the most here at FAMM is Romans 8:28, which says…And we know that in all things God works for the GOOD of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose. And God certainly worked everything out for my good during my stand for the restoration of my marriage! But He did not restore my marriage until He knew I completely and fully trusted Him, and there was no fooling Him!

In the past, I had not trusted Him with my marriage, so I took matters into my own hands and tried to fix myself, my husband, and my marriage because I simply didn’t trust Him or His timing. Yet He waited patiently for me to become patient with Him during my stand, which I finally did. God is good…ALL the time!

Romans 12:2 tells us…Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – His GOOD, pleasing, and perfect will. This passage of scripture speaks volumes about what went on in my heart and mind during my stand. Prior to really standing for my marriage, I wasn’t conforming to the pattern of this world because I was saved and had a relationship with Jesus. However, I was not transformed because my mind had not been renewed. I knew something in me needed to change and I even knew that I needed to trust God; but I just couldn’t give Him my marriage, which I probably treasured even more than Him. Fortunately, I came to a place during my last separation when I knew it was now or never…do or die, and I spent a weekend in silence and weeping. And that’s when He spoke to me, and I knew that this was it; that I was going to trust Him and let go of my husband and marriage or continue doing things my way and getting my own disappointing results. I knew my marriage hung in the balance that day, so I made the life-altering decision to lay my marriage, and my husband, who I loved and missed more than anything, at His feet. I literally felt like I was physically presenting a gift of my trust to God at the altar by giving Him what mattered to me the most. And on that day, I was transformed and the next day, I awoke with a renewed mind and a peace beyond comprehension. And I’ll always praise and thank God for what He did with what I gave Him!!! He gave my husband and marriage back to me!!! But He didn’t give them back to me when I wanted them or even when I really felt that I needed them; He gave them back to me when it was the right time to perfect HIS plan and when He knew that I was ready. And not only did He give them back to me; He gave them back to me in ways I had never dreamed of or thought possible. God is good…ALL the time!

Mark 1:15 says…‘The time has come,’” he said. ‘The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the GOOD news.’ I have read this verse before, but as I read it again now while researching scriptures, it took on a whole new meaning. There were times during my stand when I had to “repent and believe the good news” that God was going to restore my marriage. Perhaps the same thing has happened to some of you as well; because I would be standing strong and then the wind of unexpected adversity would come and I would start to sway a bit. I even fell flat on my face a few times, and one of those times was when I knew that the time had come…so I had to repent and believe the good news that God would restore my marriage…AND HE DID!!! God is good…ALL the time!

Hebrews 12:10 says…Our fathers disciplined us for awhile as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our GOOD, that we may share in His holiness. It’s important to include Hebrews 12:11 here as well, because it says…No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. These are very powerful verses of scripture for me, because there was a time that I felt I was being punished by God and that I didn’t deserve to have my marriage restored. But God loves us, and He wants nothing but good for us. I can certainly say that I went through my time of discipline, and now I have a harvest of peace! When I finally made the choice to trust God, the peace that came into my heart is something I wouldn’t trade for anything. So I now have a mantra that I live by, which is “Peace at all cost.” And I’m thankful and forever blessed by the harvest of peace I have received. So when we feel that we are being disciplined, may our hearts always be filled with hope, because our harvest is coming! God is good…ALL the time!

The last verse I want to share is Galatians 6:9, which reminds us…Let us not become weary in doing GOOD, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Amen! And there’s a lot for us in this verse when we consider how it applies to standing for our marriages.
Let us not become weary in doing good…when we are standing for our marriages, we are in the fight of our lives. And doing good is doing GOD’S will, and NOT what everyone else tells us to do. And that’s something I learned the hard way.
for at the proper time…the proper time is His time, and not our time. His time is not when an exact amount of time has passed; nor when too much time has passed. It is HIS time! But I really struggled so very much with getting that. So know that God is going to restore your marriage, and He does not discriminate and restore marriages quicker where children are involved; He does not restore marriages because of a wedding anniversary or any dates that we feel are important; and He does not restore one marriage over another because He plays favorites. But we do not get to determine what the “proper time” is, and if we try, we will just be disappointed. In my case, the “proper time” was after I had truly and completely laid my marriage and husband at His feet, and when He knew I was ready.
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Let me say that last part again…IF WE DO NOT GIVE UP! If, and ONLY IF we do not give up. There might well be days when you feel like giving up, and I was there more times than I care to disclose, but let this be the last day you feel that way. God is a God of healing and restoration and He promises us right here in this part of the verse that we WILL reap a harvest IF we DON’T give up! He did not say we MIGHT reap a harvest; He said we WILL reap a harvest IF we don’t give up! And by the grace of God, I am walking proof of that because I chose not to give up and I have been blessed with a most bountiful harvest!!! So KNOW that God’s most abundant and blessed harvest awaits each of you, fellow standers!!! And I can’t wait to rejoice with you when they manifest! God is good…ALL the time!

Love and Blessings,
Karla

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What Hope do we have if we Give up on God?

Sunday, April 5th, 2009

Last Friday’s devotional by Charles Stanley, From the Bottom Up, which one of the FAM members shared in printed form on the private site Friday morning, was perfectly timed in light of recent conversations with other FAM members.. And as God is always so faithful to do, it also perfectly tied in with recent discussion and posts on the private site about doubt and discouragement and truly trusting God.

Perhaps one of the most surprising discoveries I’ve made over the past few years in marriage restoration ministry is that Christian men and women are actually afraid to wholeheartedly put their trust in God because they are afraid of how they will react if He lets them down and they don’t see the manifestation of the restored marriages they are standing for. But as Dr. Stanley’s message points out, we will only be a lot worse off if we give up on God and resist putting our complete and unreserved faith and trust in Him, which only makes our situations a lot more hopeless and not in any way better. After all, if we give up on God, what hope of marriage restoration do we have? And I can certainly attest to the fact that based on what I have been blessed to witness in the restoration of dozens of marriages; those in our ministry who have been blessed with the manifestation of the power and promise of God’s Word in their lives and marriages have been those who refused to give up on Him and refused to believe what they saw and heard over what His Word declares. And it’s no wonder that the common denominator most apparent in the people who refuse to give up on God is the time spent in God’s Word and how much of it they have retained and buried deep down into their hearts, especially since Jesus promised in John 15:7…If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. And that just affirms the VITAL significance of what Romans 10:17 reveals…Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. So if we question the importance of faith as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, we must not understand what Jesus meant when He declared that it will be done to us according to our faith (Matthew 9:29)! But the high cost of not KNOWING and REMEMBERING the Word of God is that we are then fighting a losing battle because we won’t even recognize arguments and pretensions setting themselves up against the knowledge of God; much less be able to demolish the enemy’s strongholds by taking thoughts contrary to the Word of God captive and making them obedient to Jesus Christ/the Word (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 and John 1:14).

So the next time the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy our righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit and the word of our testimony (John 10:10, Romans 14:17 and Revelation 12:10-11), and we’re tempted to give up on God, we really have to seriously consider what’s left because when we understand the cost of NOT fully trusting God and putting our faith and hope in Him to do ALL that His Word declares, we will realize that we have no other choice if we want to see His glory and His Word in all its power and promise manifested in our lives and marriages. Yet we will indeed be blessed and encouraged if we recognize that we are JUSTIFIED THROUGH FAITH, and thus CHOOSE to PERSEVERE and STAND in the GRACE of our Lord, as we put our HOPE IN HIM AND HIS WORD instead of giving up, because we will NOT BE DISAPPOINTED and we will experience PEACE and REJOICE as promised in Romans 5:1-5, which says…Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. And let us NEVER forget that God sent the Holy Spirit to SEAL the deal and to GUARANTEE our hope and inheritance in Christ (Ephesians 1:13-14), which we know is righteousness, peace, joy and abundant life!!! But if we don’t stand in FAITH and put our hope in the power and promise of God’s Word and His faithfulness and power to bring it ALL to pass (Numbers 23:19, Isaiah 46:10-11 and Isaiah 55:10-11), then we have NO guarantees and NOTHING left! So NEVER give up on God and get ready to be blessed and encouraged as you put your hope in Him!

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Even Though we Stumble… by Mark in New Jersey

Sunday, April 5th, 2009

(Note from Linda: The following was posted by Mark on the private website this morning, and since it is something I know many visitors to our public website can relate to and are sure to be blessed by as well as the FAM Fellowhship members, I appreciate mark’s permission to share anything he posts here as well. And as is ALWAYS the case, it’s almost hard to believe how well it ties in with so many other posts and conversations in the ministry over the past few days! But that’s just the way God is—always faithful and ever so powerful! So understand that the Lord is ALWAYS ready and able to lift us up and give us victory if we will just turn to HIM and give it ALL to Him; humble ourselves under His mighty hand (1 Peter 5:5-6), and we will indeed be blessed and encouraged beyond belief because HE WILL LIFT US UP IN DUE TIME!)

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Good Morning Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

It has been a couple of weeks since I last posted, and I have been traveling quite a bit and unfortunately not staying as involved in the ministry and word as I would like to be. And as a result, I stumbled and had myself one big old “pity party” yesterday. In spite of all the blessings and revelations, I allowed myself to be attacked by pride and frustration over something minor, and since I did not take those thoughts captive, they had me questioning my sanity, faith and stand. I took my eyes off Jesus and focused on the storm and water around me instead; just as Peter did after he stepped out of the boat. And all of that after the amazing fact that last week, my wife told me “I have come to realize that I really need to make God more a part of my life.”

However, I am not writing this to focus on how I stumbled. Instead, I want to share praises and encouragement with you all; praises for the God who gives and takes away, praises for each trial I face, and for the growth I experience as a result. God has blessed me in so many ways this past year because of our separation, and I’ve seen him move and soften my wife’s heart as well as mine. He has restored and renewed my faith and walk with Him and He has opened my eyes and heart to the wonder of His glory.

We will all stumble on occasion; no matter how hard we try, we are still human. As James 3:2 says…We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. And Daniel 11: 35 says…Some of the wise will stumble, so that they may be refined, purified and made spotless until the time of the end, for it will still come at the appointed time. Even if we stumble at times, how we get up is what is most important to God. So we can either be defeated by our trials or moments when we lack faith or we can grow from them and invest more faith in our Father. The word tells us that if we turn to God, He will uphold us; just as Jesus rescued Peter, so shall it be for us. As Proverbs 24:16 declares…for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again, but the wicked are brought down by calamity. And then Psalm 37:23-24 promises…If the LORD delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand.

So we must remain strong in Christ Jesus and keep our focus on Him and only Him because the more we do that, the less we will stumble. However, if we are fainthearted, we cannot take much because everything has to be a certain way or we give up and quit, and we get discouraged and depressed quickly. But what happens if our hearts fail? We can either decide that we can’t do this…it’s just too hard…or we can turn to God who gives us the strength we need to overcome ANYTHING the devil sends our way. Regrettably, I have given up on many things in the past because they were too hard. But our faithfulness in the little things reveals if we are really ready to receive the greater things God wants to give us. And when we put our trust, faith and confidence in God and Him alone, the victory is ours. As Deuteronomy 20: 1-4 says…When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army He shall say: “Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory. And 2 Chronicles 20:17 says…You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.’

The Lord is with us!! So let’s continue to praise and put our trust in God, for He will give us the strength and wisdom to persevere. We can not lean on others; we must lean on God and lean on His word. And we have to keep our eyes on Him and the abundance of blessings He has given us. Faith is not believing that God can; it is believing that He will!!

Faith, Hope, Love and Peace to all of you!

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Sharing a Powerful Message from one FAM Fellowship Member to Another

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

Something that really touches my heart and blesses me so much is seeing how the Lord works when FAM Fellowship members reach out to each other in their time of need and share how God has worked in their lives to bring them comfort and His victory when they were in the same place earlier in their stand for marriage restoration. And it’s been a real blessing to see that the men are getting so much more involved in the fellowship! In fact, over the past couple of weeks, the last seven new members in the fellowship have all been men, which is a definite record! So we look forward to seeing their names added to our Restored Marriage list in the near future as the Lord continues working in their hearts and marriages!

Since I know the response from one of our members to another this morning speaks to so many other men standing for marriage restoration, I want to share it here (with names omitted for obvious reasons) with the hope and prayer that it will speak to someone and be a great source of blessing and encouragement as you learn to stand on the power and promise of God’s Word and to rely on HIM and HIM ALONE for the full and complete restoration of your marriages and families. When we learn to truly let go and give EVERYTHING to the God Who loves us and our spouses so much, we will never be disappointed and we can’t lose! So take heed to the godly counsel in the following response from the private FAM Fellowship site and be blessed and encouraged!

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MNO, heed the above advice and what God tells us in His Word. We have to support, affirm, validate and encourage our spouses. And we cannot do that when we are caught up in our selfishness and self-pity. I spent too much time wallowing in my own misery and not understanding how my wife could hurt me so much and reject me and not feel badly about it! But I now understand that I was not acknowledging her feelings and reality any more than she was mine. Even though I had admitted the problems I brought to our marriage, I was still not listening to what she was telling me. I was the best husband I knew how to be and was focused on that, and that it wasn’t my fault. But when I stopped blaming her, and started looking at myself instead of accepting the devil’s condemnation, I was able to focus on God. He had plans to change the person I was into the person He intended me to be from the beginning, but it unfortunately took this circumstance of brokenness to get me to surrender to Him; thank God! Trust me, I had plenty for God to change in me without worry about how He needed to change my wife. I did not have the anger issues that some have, but I certainly had other deep seeded strongholds that I needed to be set free from. But God is awesome; never leaving or forsaking us!

When God puts the desire in our hearts to stand for our marriages, it is not about having our marriage restored; it is about making us into the Christ-like husband His Word calls us to be. We have to be willing and humbled to give Him 100% so we can give our wives 100% regardless of what we are getting in return. When they are able to see Jesus in us, they will desire what we have and God will soften and change their hearts to desire Him, which is most important. And then as they surrender their hearts to Jesus, He will put the desire in them to be obedient and trust Him and then they will have the desire to have their marriage restored. It will be a God thing.

So I pray that you will let Jesus change you. There is nothing on earth that you can do aside from God that will change your wife’s mind. It will be her seeing Jesus in you that will move her heart towards you. She has been wounded and healing has to take place. As we wait for that healing to happen, we must give everything we have to God so He can make us into the Godly husbands, fathers, and men that by His grace and mercy, He desires for us to become.

There is no doubt that God wants marriages restored and families healed. Yet we must also realize that He wants us to live life abundantly and that can only be done by following Him and letting the Holy Spirit work in us. God loves our wives more than we do, and He loves us. None of us will ever hurt or suffer more than He did when He sent Jesus to suffer and die for our sins. By standing for our marriages, we have the opportunity to show the world that we have victory in Jesus as we trust and obey Him, and that God is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. God is the truth, the way and the life and we have the privilege of proving that to the world.

So, hang in there and let go, and let God bless you both by giving you the marriage He intended for you in the first place.

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