(Note from Linda: I know everyone standing for marriage restoration will be truly blessed by this very powerful message from Stephanie, because our failure to REALLY know and fully understand just WHO God is is at the root of our inability to trust Him. If we don’t KNOW WHO GOD IS, we can’t live in peace and we won’t let our spouses go; yet that is the very specific instructions God gives in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16 when our spouses want to leave. And in testimony after testimony, we are reminded that it is seeing our peace and joy in the Lord that so often draws our spouses back home and saves them from the destruction intended by the devil. God’s Word promises consequences in our lives when we are disobedient to His Word and blessings when we trust and obey Him (Deuteronomy 30, Psalm37:5-6, Proverbs 3:5-6 and Luke 6:46-49), so there should be great and obvious contrasts between the circumstances of our wayward spouses’ lives and ours, and when there aren’t, something is wrong because God is not a liar and His Word NEVER returns without accomplishing what He desires and the purpose for which He sent it (Numbers 23:19 and Isaiah 55:10-11). The pages of the FAM Fellowship website are filled with examples of how God blesses beyond belief those who put their trust in Him as they stand in faith and obedience on the power and promise of His Word, as well as the consequences that befall their spouses as they continue in a lifestyle that is not at all pleasing to the Lord; therefore we literally have pages of proof that God does exactly what He says He will do as declared in Isaiah 46:10-11. So I greatly appreciate Stephanie’s obedience and faithfulness to share what she learned at a women’s conference this past weekend with all of us, because we won’t really grow in our walk and relationship with the Lord without trusting Him, which just isn’t possible without really knowing just WHO He is! So please seriously consider the importance of this message and do whatever it takes to grow in your walk and relationship with the Lord as you learn to trust Him because you know just WHO He is, and then you will without a doubt be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!)

*****
Hello My FAMM family,

I want to share something I believe to be very powerful and important. One of the biggest struggles I experienced on my journey to marriage restoration was the ability to TRUST God, because that was my biggest weakness. Just like most of us, I thought I trusted God and I really believed that I had surrendered my marriage to Him. However, I found that my emotions, attitudes and behavior changed the minute the circumstances in my life were not positive; particularly when I was seeing what appeared to be the exact opposite of what I desired and was praying for. So I prayed for God to help me in that area, which He did. So I didn’t cry as much or get angry as I would have in the past, and I wasn’t as fearful. I would read the promises of God, say them out loud, use them in prayer and do everything I believed was necessary to be a good stander. BUT one thing still stood out; I did not surrender it ALL to God. There were a few things that I continued to hold onto because I believed them to be so IMPOSSIBLE, so INSURMOUNTABLE, so VERY UNLIKELY, that I’d keep taken back what I had given to God. But I didn’t realize that until I was asked to do something that ended up being very powerful and really showed me just who my God is. So I want to ask everyone to take a moment to do the same thing.

Take a piece of paper and write down something you are going through right now; something you believed you have already surrendered and given to God, but truly haven’t or that you have at least taken back. And you know what it is, because it’s always on your heart. Please take a few minutes to do that and then read the rest of this post.

The problem for most of us is that we don’t truly understand WHO we just gave our difficulties, problems, or circumstances to. We gave it to God; our Heavenly Father, Our Lord, our Alpha and Omega, and our Savior. So we need to know his many names and just WHO we are putting our trust in, because the names of God reveal so much about who He is, and what He does and says.

Here are some of the names of our God, so please read them carefully, and thoughtfully consider them and what they REALLY mean:

Elohim - He is our Creator, the one true God and can create something out of nothing.

El Elyon - He is Sovereign and in control. Ultimately, man’s actions play into the hands of El Elyon.

Adonai - He is our Lord and Master. He is the one who guides our actions and commands our obedience. We are his servants forever because we love Adonai, our Lord.

El Shaddai - He is God Almighty, all-sufficient, and enough for us.

Yahweh Jireh - He is our provider. He is able to provide for and supply our needs, whatever they might be.

El Ro’I -He is the One who sees us. We can know that we are always under His watchful care.

Yahweh -he is everything we need. He is the source of meaning, purpose, and ultimate satisfaction in life.

Yahweh Rophe -He is our healer. He is our comfort in times of brokenness, pain, bitterness, affliction and mourning.

Yahweh Nissi - He is our victory and the One to rely on when faced with seemingly insurmountable opposition. He is the One to run to when we are faced with battles that threaten to defeat us.

Yahweh Mekaddesh - He makes us holy. He enables us to live a holy and sacred life that pleases Him.

Yahweh Shalom -He is our peace, gives us His deep and abiding peace in the turbulent trials, and will carry us in our troubles.

Yahweh Sabaoath - He is our deliverer in impossible situations, and helps us overcome the giants in our lives.

Yahweh Roi – He is our shepherd, watches over us, and cares and comforts us.

Abba Father - He is our heavenly father, daddy, papa, and the One in whose arms we can run and ultimately find rest.

Now take that piece of paper, and read what you wrote on it again and ask yourself…”Is He enough for what I face today?” And think about WHO you are surrendering it to and call out the name of God that fits your circumstance. Then TRUST him to take care of it. TRUST is Total Reliance Under Stress and Trial. And God is trying to build trust in the fabric of our souls during this journey, which was my biggest weakness until I knew the God I was giving it to!!

Now, take that piece of paper, crumple it up and remember that as easy as it was for you to crumple up that piece of paper, it is just as easy for your God to crumple up your mountains!

Psalm 9:10 - Those who know your name will trust in you,
for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.

I love you guys,

Stephanie

When we seriously study God’s Word, we recognize that praising God is not just something we should do when we “feel” like it…because it’s actually a command from God. As Psalm 150:6 declares…Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD. And Hebrews 13:15 says…Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that confess his name. So we can’t afford to be so focused on the things we think are not so praiseworthy, especially since those are often the very things God uses to literally bring about the blessing He is working to bestow on us, including the restoration of our marriages. God wants us to trust and praise Him no matter what we see and hear, and when we really do, we will realize that we have no good reason or excuse to struggle when it comes to praising the Lord.

As Americans, we tend to be very ungrateful people and take an awful lot for granted; yet we have so much to truly be thankful and praise the Lord for. So I expect that one of the positive things that will come out of the economic woes we are all experiencing these days is that we will return to placing value on the things that really matter most in life and to the Lord. People won’t be so busy chasing things and stuff that they don’t have or take the time to spend quality time with their children and spouses–and that will save many marriages and families from going through what we have already experienced. With no credit available, people won’t be able to spend beyond their means, which means that children will be taught stronger values and not to put so much stock in frivolous and unimportant things like the brand name of their clothing and just getting more “stuff.” Most of us would agree that if it were not for the availability of “easy” credit, our spouses would likely not be where they are today because they simply couldn’t afford it. So there’s no doubt that the change in our economy will force us to much more carefully prioritize where we spend our money, which is a good thing since Jesus taught that where our “treasure” is, there our heart is also (Matthew 6:21), and there’s little doubt that God will be much more pleased with where He sees us putting our treasure, and thus where our hearts are.

We are all so abundantly blessed just to have clean and safe running water; not to mention that we even have hot water that comes to us as soon as we turn on the tap. We are richly blessed that we have food to eat; not to mention all the things we have to choose from. We are so blessed that we can turn on the radio, TV and computers and get any kind of information and entertainment we want and need and even praise and worship the Lord! We are indeed blessed that when it’s hot outside, we can turn on air conditioning or fans to stay cool, and when it’s cold outside, we can turn on the heat to stay warm. We are greatly blessed that we have cars to take us where we want and need to go and that we have the right to go when and where we want to go. And we are blessed that even when we don’t have the money to pay for the necessities of life, we have access to programs that will provide or basic needs. As women, we should especially be on our knees because we are truly blessed that God planted us in a country where women are not routinely brutalized and denied the most basic of human rights; or even where female children are forcibly aborted or killed. And for those of us who are distressed because our spouses are gone and/or involved with NCPs, we need to be thankful because things could be a lot worse; our spouses could be dead and then we would have no hope of their salvation or deliverance and restoration and our children would forever be without their other parent and have no hope of restoration either.

So when we allow the devil to deceive us into thinking that it’s so hard to praise the Lord in the midst of our circumstances, I hope and pray that we will remember these things, which are just a minute portion of the myriad of things we should be on our knees thanking God for every day and all day long; like the amazing blessing of good health for another. We can get out of bed and walk where we want and need to go; we can prepare our own breakfast and we can bathe and dress ourselves without assistance. Most of us are not in physical pain every day of our lives and we can breathe, hear and see without even giving it a second thought and all too often without realizing that if not for the grace and blessings of God, we couldn’t!!! So, whenever we find ourselves struggling or unwilling to praise the Lord and when our hearts are filled with anything less than abundant and overflowing gratitude and thanksgiving for the awesome and miraculous blessings God bestows on us every day and all day, we need to read and VERY CAREFULLY study Numbers 13-14 because God is indeed the same today, yesterday and forever!!!, And we will be the ones who suffer, not to mention our spouses and children, when we fail to give God the praise, honor and glory He is due and EXPECTS! And all we have to do is read Ephesians 1:4-14 to understand that ALL God does is for the praise, honor and glory of His Son, Jesus Christ! So as Psalm 148:5 says…Let them praise the name of the LORD, for he commanded and they were created. And if we’re not in the habit of praising and thanking the Lord in EVERYTHING as instructed in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, we will indeed be blessed and encouraged when we make praise and thanksgiving a CONTINUAL AND CONSISTENT habit, because the more we praise and give thanks for, the more God will give us to praise and thank Him for; when we prove ourselves faithful with little, He will give us more!! Just read Matthew 25:14-30! And remember that as Luke 12:48 declares, to whom much has been given, much will be required! So CONTINUALLY praise and give thanks to the Lord and be blessed and encouraged!

(Note from Linda: It is such an honor and pleasure to share the following post from Stephanie, which she posted on the private website earlier today! And I know you all will want to share in her joy and praise the Lord for another RESTORED MARRIAGE and family!!! God is just so faithful and there’s no doubt that He has rewarded and blessed Stephanie with the desire of her heart because of her faithfulness to sow seeds of restoration into the lives of countless other men and women standing against the wiles of the devil for their marriages by sharing her own testimony as a prodigal turned stander (EXP). May God’s greatest joy and richest blessings always be Stephanie’s and her husband’s as they embark on the rest of their lives together with the brand new marriage He has given them! What an awesome God we serve! And how important it is to note that JUST AS SOON as Stephanie REALLY LET GO, God moved in her husband’s heart to come home! So be blessed and encouraged just to know that what God does for one, He WILL do for all!)

*****
For the first time in my life, though naturally a very talkative woman, I am completely speechless and in awe of God’s mighty power and awesome presence in my life. So I want to share a little more of my story and testimony of how miraculously God has worked in my heart, life and now my marriage!

Three short years ago, I was in the thick of sin, and I ran around believing that the world and the people in it could fulfill my needs. I did not love my husband and I told him that numerous times. I treated him terribly; both with my words and in my actions, and I did not want to be his wife. I just wanted to be “free” because I was not happy. I truly believed that I would be better off with out him and I believed my children would be fine too. But I ended up being a bad parent and my children often received the brunt of my displaced anger and overall unhappiness. And I truly believed that divorce was the best and only way to resolve my pain and lack of love for my spouse. I was wayward, resistant, rebellious and stubborn. And I was fully convinced that my marriage was over, and no one could change my mind. No one could tell me anything, especially my husband. His begging, attempts at persuasion and pleading just fell on deaf ears. Even though he prayed for our marriage, he was also very angry and totally frustrated with me, and he often pointed out my waywardness and told me how God was unhappy with me. But that just pushed me further away. I would even pray for God to “release me from this man and this marriage.” I told God I didn’t love him and that we both deserved to be happy. Well, my Heavenly Father had another plan for me!

My life spun out of control and God slowly removed all the worldly things I thought gave me so much pleasure…friends, co-workers, job, and even my husband’s love. And I eventually found myself face down on the floor in tears. (Psalm 55:1-2, 16-18). All I could do was cry out to God in my despair and it was in sheer desperation that I found my Lord, who was there just waiting for me to ask him for help (2 Corinthians 7:9-10). God slowly began removing the scales from my eyes (Acts 9:18) and He showed me things within myself that made me cringe. He turned my heart right back to the very man I had prayed for him to remove from my life; He softened my heart and restored love I thought I no longer had for my husband, and He gave me the desire for my marriage. (Ezekial 36:26-27). God did the impossible with this prodigal (Mark 10:27)!!

As I shared in my last post, I finally came to the place of being at peace with whatever God had for my life; be it marriage restoration or not, which came as a result of the despair of being alone on my wedding anniversary. And when I finally came to that conclusion, God just showed me how he was working when my husband questioned what I did on our anniversary. And when I told him that I went to dinner and a movie, he wanted to know who I went with. I remember smiling inside and thanking God for showing me that he still cared! But never in my wildest imagination would I have ever thought that just a few days later my husband would come home and not leave again! Yet, he has not gone back to his parent’s home for a couple of weeks now! He is spending time working on the house and spending a lot of time with me and the kids. Praise God!! And although we have not officially talked about our relationship or what lies ahead, I know without a shadow of a doubt that my marriage is restored!!!! So, Linda, please move us over to the Restored Marriage list!!

My brothers and sisters in Christ, your day is coming! I never thought I would be posting a restored marriage testimony so soon. Yet, all of a sudden—here I am. I am the prodigal that came home. I was the wayward, godless, and stubborn spouse that wanted to be divorced. God first changed me, and then through MY change, a miracle was done in my husband’s heart. So remember that no matter what you see or hear, your promise is from God. And God does not lie and He is no respecter of persons. What God did for me, He will (HE REALLY WILL!) do for you; just hang on…it’s coming! God is working things out for your good (Jeremiah 29:11).

Thank you for allowing me to share in your lives; you are all truly a great blessing!! All glory goes to God…only He could have made beauty from my ashes (Isaiah 61:3)!!!

With Love,

Stephanie

As Christians standing for marriage restoration and facing so much economic and cultural turmoil, it is vitally important that we better understand the judgment and blessings of God and how they impact our lives and the lives of our spouses and those we love. And since we know that God is the same yesterday, today and forever, a great place to begin understanding God’s judgment and blessings is with the declarations found in Deuteronomy 30 and Isaiah 55, which I strongly urge everyone to read and study on your own.

While many people believe and teach that God gives us “free will” and that it’s up to us to choose; when we read what He actually said; it’s clear that God COMMANDS us to OBEY Him and HE leaves absolutely NO DOUBT about what happens when we don’t! Yet, those who believe that we have free will tend to leave off the part about the terrible judgment and consequences of choosing to disobey God. And we can’t possibly understand what God said about setting life and death, blessings and curses before us in Deuteronomy 30 without reading it in its full context, especially when Deuteronomy 30:19 is in no way a valid basis for the false and misleading doctrine of free will that’s promoted today in direct opposition to the Word of God; because verses 17-20 actually declare… But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. And the Bible is full of verses declaring that we have to TRUST AND OBEY God to receive His blessings, provision and protection; such as some of our favorites like Psalm 37:5-6 and Proverbs 3:5-6. And in addition to declaring the blessings, protection and provision gained through obedience to God’s Word, in Luke 6:46-49, Jesus reaffirmed the total and complete destruction we can expect when we fail to put the Word of God into practice.

And it’s just not possible to read and study the Old Testament without realizing that God ALWAYS brings judgment and consequences for disobedience, and there’s not one word in the New Testament indicating that He no longer does that. Quite the contrary, just look at what happened to Ananias and Sapphira when they needlessly lied (Acts 5:1-11)! It’s also pretty obvious that God did not do away with His requirement for obedience in the New Testament when we read Hebrews 3:7-19, which makes it very clear that God’s view of disobedience and disbelief was the same in New Testament times as in Old Testament times; just as it is today because God never changes.

Yet, it’s also very important to understand WHY God brings judgment when we “choose” to walk in ways contrary to His Word, and the Bible is full of passages making that abundantly clear; such as Hosea 2. God ALWAYS wants us to turn from our wicked ways and to Him, so He does whatever it takes to make us do that; because as Deuteronomy 4:30-31 declares, When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath. And as every man and woman standing for marriage restoration can attest to, when our lives were turned upside-down, we turned to God and called on Him for help; which is exactly what He intended us to do, as confirmed in Jeremiah 29:11-13, which says For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. But the really GOOD NEWS is the wonderful assurance of restoration and mercy we have in Isaiah 55 when we turn from our disobedience and seek the Lord; as verses 6-7 declare…Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. And then Isaiah 55 goes on to reveal how through the love, goodness and mercy of God, we will literally reap a much better harvest than the seeds we’ve sown when we turn back to the Lord, because verses 11-13 declare…You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.” And then in Ephesians 14-14, we even have God’s Word and assurance that EVERYTHING WAS ALL PREDESTINED for that very purpose BEFORE THE CREATION OF THE WORLD and that the promised Holy Spirit GUARANTEES it!

It’s also important for us to understand WHAT God expects us to do during this time in our lives, and we have a great illustration of that in Jeremiah 29:4-13, which makes it pretty obvious that God does NOT expect us to be idle; quite the contrary, He clearly expects us to use this time very productively. And this passage also reminds and assures us that there is an appointed time and expected end, which for us will be the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families as God faithfully restores all that the locusts HE SENT have destroyed (Joel 2:24-27)!

While Deuteronomy 28 reveals the great promise of blessings, provision and protection to those who remain obedient to God, it is a particularly heart breaking and powerful passage of scripture in light of all we see going on in the world around us today and what it reveals will happen to those who are not obedient and who refuse to acknowledge God. And since that might well apply to many of our beloved spouses and family members, we are called to stand in the gap and pray and fast for their salvation and deliverance from the hold the devil has on their souls and in their lives. Sadly, God’s judgment against this country is long overdue and we have likely reached a time when it will no longer be withheld, and as we study Deuteronomy 28, we can see how God’s judgment for our disobedience as a nation is now being manifested before our very eyes. And just as happened to the Israelites and as foretold in verse 47; because we failed to serve the LORD our God joyfully and gladly in times of prosperity, in hunger and thirst, in nakedness and dire poverty, we will serve the enemies the LORD sends against us. Yet we still have to DO as God instructs us to do in such times, which is to live PRODUCTIVE lives in obedience to His Word as we trust HIM to defend and deliver us. Thankfully, we can rely on His Word in Revelation 3:10, where He promised…Since you have kept my command to endure patiently, I will also keep you from the hour of trial that is going to come upon the whole world to test those who live on the earth. And we can take comfort in the knowledge we have that no matter what happens, and no matter what harm and evil others intend, NOTHING happens that God has not intended for the ultimate good and saving of many lives (Genesis 50:20) and no matter how bad something might seem to us, when we love God and are called according to HIS purpose, we have HIS Word, that HE will cause it all to work together for our good (Romans 8:28)! And we can all rely on God’s awesome promise in 1 Peter 5:10-11, which declares And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

Since God only disciplines those He loves, it’s important to understand that His greatest blessings are often brought about through His judgment and discipline, because that’s often what it takes to bring us to repentance and into right relationship with Him (Revelation 3:19), which many of our testimonies bear witness to. And as Job 5:17-18 states, and many standing for marriage restoration can attest to as well…“Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal. Therefore, we must learn to welcome and wisely accept God’s judgment and discipline, realizing that His blessings will follow. Even though the Bible rarely makes me laugh, I couldn’t help laughing when I read the “no nonsense” declaration in Proverbs 12:1, which just says Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. So let’s not be stupid! Let’s understand how to avoid God’s judgment, why He brings it, what we are to do in such times, and what it will accomplish in our lives and the lives of many others. The bottom line is that no matter what, when we turn to God in obedience, and when we put ALL of our hope, trust and faith in Him as we obey Him, He will restore all we have lost and then some as He restores us to both Him and to our spouses, which He will do for the praise, honor and glory of Jesus Christ! So let’s not despise the judgment and discipline of God because it will ultimately bring His blessings for us and those we love! Therefore, be blessed and encouraged!

(Note from Linda: The following was posted by Melissa on the private FAM Fellowship website as she looks back and shares what she has learned while standing for the miraculous restoration of her marriage and family. It’s been nothing short of wonderful and exciting for all of us to see the Lord move in Melissa’s heart and life since she first came to FAM a little over a year and a half ago. And we’ve all been so excited, encouraged and honored to witness the miraculous ways God has been and continues to resolve ALL of the obstacles that have stood in the way of her husband’s return. Their relationship has been restored for months now and Melissa even claimed her marriage restoration (something we do in FAM—speaking things that are not as though they were) many months ago when he told her he was coming home and how much he regretted his involvement with the NCP. But since there are two more children now involved and so many other seemingly impossible issues to overcome, knowing that he wants to come home and getting it done are two totally different things. Yet, God has ever so faithfully been resolving one issue after another and it’s actually very amazing and awe inspiring to see how He has worked out every little detail for them! So SNO should indeed be home very soon and the message Melissa shares as she looks forward to that and contemplates what she has learned during this time is very important for everyone standing for marriage restoration to understand and implement in our own lives. God doesn’t want any of us to get into a “just waiting” mode; because He has a plan and purpose for each of us and He means for us to do ALL that He has called us to do; not just to stand for the restoration of our marriages. And if we haven’t yet been radically changed and transformed in the process of standing, we are probably not ready for restoration and God isn’t likely to act SUPERNATURALLY to bring it about because He knows we will end up right back in the same place if we don’t change and if we don’t have the right walk and relationship with Him. And the more time we waste expecting and waiting for God to change our spouses instead of asking Him to change us, the longer we will likely wait, so I hope and pray that everyone reading what Melissa shared will take it to heart and allow God to reveal the work He wants to do in US instead! And when we do that, we are the ones who will be blessed and encouraged as we release the power of the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts, lives and marriages!)

*****
There are often times during our stand for marriage restoration when we feel that we are “just waiting”…just waiting for our spouses to come to their senses….or just waiting for God to get a hold of them. So we can easily get into a pattern of thinking that we are ready for our spouse to come home and definitely beyond ready for all of this to be over. I’ve certainly felt that way many times throughout my stand, but God always manages to reveal something to remind me that He is working on ME during this time too. It’s not like I think I have reached “perfection” since I am human and never will because I am a sinner like everyone else, but I have often thought that I was ready for my husband to return and that it must be a matter of “just waiting..”

Fortunately, I finally realized that when I got into that mindset, I would tend to become anxious for my husband’s return; anxious to the point that waiting was becoming very uncomfortable and stressful, and I just wanted the time of waiting to be over. Yet, being anxious is totally contrary to doing things God’s way because we’re instructed to be anxious for nothing in Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV. In fact, God is actually using this time of waiting for our own good and benefit, regardless of how ready we think we are, and He truly knows what’s best (Romans 8:28). Furthermore, when we are anxious, we are more prone to attempt to manipulate or “fix” things by trying to speed up the process in our own way instead of trusting God and not leaning to our own understanding, which is something else God tells us not to do in Proverbs 3:5-6. And I can regrettably recall many times when my anxious spirit didn’t heed or surrender to the work God was doing because I was obviously not content with all that He was doing and mistakenly thought I had to do something to “help” God. Yet, God expects us to be content and to give thanks in ALL circumstances (Philippians 4:11-13 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18) because we trust Him! And when we trust God and love Him enough to obey and serve Him, we will indeed be content and prosperous (Job 36:11) and able to truly praise the Lord and give thanks in ALL circumstances!

And looking back, it’s easy to see that time after time, when I tried to take matters into my own hands, it just made everything worse. But God knew that and just wanted me to get to the point that no matter what, I would trust Him for everything; including His most perfect timing (Ephesians 1:4-14). So God has taught me many lessons through this journey, which has brought about a radical change in my heart and in my whole way of life. And I really do feel like a completely new person because I have had a total make over on the inside that shines on the outside too. So standing for the restoration of my marriage has been a very precious and valuable time in my life. And it’s been (and continues to be) an incredible journey because God has shown Himself to me in so many amazing and miraculous ways, and I have truly made Him the Lord of my life and learned to trust Him and to have complete faith in Him to meet every need and to get me through everything life brings my way.

As things with my husband are finally coming full circle and we are very close to having a fully restored marriage (after two years of separation and two children with the NCP), I have become a lot more thoughtful and reflective. Since I have continually and faithfully prayed for SNO (spouse name omitted) to come home and it’s SO close, I have such an amazing feeling knowing that it’s almost here. And as difficult as this time of waiting has often been, it’s so much worth everything I’ve been through because God’s Word assures us that He will do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I don’t know about everyone else, but I have often imagined what it will be like to be a family again and to have my husband home with us, so it’s incredible to know that God will exceed all I have imagined and really makes me look forward with great anticipation to the fulfillment of His plans for my marriage; which I know will be nothing short of miraculous and fills me with hope for what lies ahead for our family (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

So I want to encourage everyone still waiting for the manifestation of your marriage restoration to remember that while we wait for our spouses to come home, God is SUPERNATURALLY laying the foundation for our restored marriages. And no matter how it might seem otherwise to us, He is not idle for one second or letting time stand still without working mightily in each of our situations. Even as I put this in words, I am aware that SNO would be home today, if God said today was His perfect timing. And since my husband has not yet walked through the door, there are obviously things God is still working on in both of us to lay His solid foundation for our new and improved restored marriage. Since what we had before fell far short of either of our expectations, and we will now both have the marriage we always wanted and dreamed of, I have not been “just waiting” as I often thought; God was just preparing both of us to be the spouses we each want and need.

When we learn to enjoy every day and keep an attitude of gratitude and praise, this journey in our lives will likely be one of the most precious and life changing times we will ever experience. So it is very important that we keep our focus on God and give Him full control of our lives and circumstances; trusting that every day and every situation and circumstance has purpose in GOD’S plan and that His plan will be fulfilled (Isaiah 46:10-11 and Proverbs 19:21). And that means letting go of our personal time table; knowing that God is not going to keep us waiting any longer than necessary. But we are NOT “just waiting” because God has something He wants us to do and learn every day we wait. God sees the big picture; He knows the end from the beginning. And when we let Him do the work He wants to do in us, not one second is wasted while we wait for the full and complete restoration of our marriages. God is never idle and we shouldn’t be either, and there is ALWAYS something more God wants to teach us and to do in us and something He wants us to do for Him. So let’s not fall into the trap of thinking that we’re “just waiting” and passing time…the truth is that it is more than likely God Who is “just waiting”…just waiting for us to truly trust and obey Him and to allow Him to complete the work still needed in US before HE completes the work of restoring our marriages and bringing our spouses home!

(Note from Linda: Becky, a FAM member with a restored marriage, posted the following message on the private site, and since it’s such a powerful and encouraging message for everyone standing for marriage restoration, I want to share it here as well! If ever we question the wisdom and power of Proverbs 3:5-6, this Old Testament story should put all of our doubts and questions to rest, because the Israelites just had to trust God with all of their hearts and sure would have been in BIG trouble if they had leaned on their own understanding! Just look what trouble the Moabites got into when they did that! And what powerful reminder that things are NOT always what they might SO “reasonably” appear to be! So no matter what we hear and see, or don’t hear and see, let’s put our faith in God to SUPERNATURALLY do the impossible and to make every provision for all of our needs and then some! And when we start digging through all of those things that keep the Lord from working in our lives (unforgiveness, self-righteousness, pride, and failure to trust and obey and love and respect our spouses unconditionally for starters), we will without a doubt be blessed and encouraged beyond belief as His blessings and provisions begin to flow in our lives and the restoration of our marriages and families!)

*****
Hi Everyone,

I want to share a passage of scripture that the Lord has been reminding me of from II Kings 3 (NKJV), when the Lord tells His people to “Make this valley full of ditches.” God was instructing his people to make room for the provision of God, and there are many lessons in this passage of scripture we can learn when we are in tough places of life and need God’s miraculous and supernatural provision.

This story starts out with the Moabites rebelling against Israel. So the King of Israel King Jehoram (son of Ahab and Jezebel) went to King Jehoshaphat, King of Judah, and asks him to join him in fighting the Moabites. King Jehoshaphat agrees, so they made a plan to take a certain route through the dry wilderness and catch them by surprise. However, they found themselves in trouble when they ran out of water. King Jehoram blamed God because it looked like they would all die out there. But King Jehoshaphat said, “You know, that doesn’t sound like the God I serve. Is there not a prophet that we can inquire of the Lord what to do?” So the first lesson is that when we find ourselves in a dry place and it looks like there is no way out…seek the Lord about what to do.

So they brought in Elisha. And just look at what Elisha did when he wanted a word from God in verse 15…”But now bring me a musician.” Then it happened; when the musician played, the hand of the Lord came upon him. So the second lesson is that when we need a fresh word from the Lord, a word for the “right now season”…do as Elisha did and begin to worship the Lord; and when we begin to worship, we will find clarity in our mind and the Lord will speak to us.

Then the word of the Lord came in verse 16, and He said, “Make this valley full of ditches.” And verse 17 goes on to say, “For thus says the Lord: you shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink.”

What the Lord told them made no sense in the natural because they were out in the hot, dry desert, where there was no water; yet the Lord was telling them to go dig ditches. So the third lesson is to be quick to obey what the Lord tells us to do, even though it may not make sense in our own minds.

Notice that the Lord said, “You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain, yet the valley will be filled with water.” So as always, God was saying that we won’t necessarily see where the provision is coming from, but He will provide. As we stand for our marriages, we don’t always see how God is working, but we can rest assured that He is at work.

So as the people were digging ditches, they were making room for God’s promised provision even though they didn’t know how it was going to be done. And since we know that God is the same yesterday, today and forever, we need to be digging ditches to make room for the provision God has promised us. We particularly need to dig the ditches needed to make room for His provision of marriage restoration, which means that we all need to dig ditches of forgiveness and make room for the flow of God’s spirit to come into our lives to bring us peace, refreshment, newness of life and fruitfulness. So I’m asking God to show me what ditches I need to dig in my life.

But a two-fold miracle took place here. Not only did God refresh them with water and save them from certain destruction; just look at verse 18….”And this is a simple matter in the sight of the Lord; He will also deliver the Moabites into your hand.” Don’t you just love that part…this is a simple matter in the sight of the Lord! God not only wants to refresh us with His presence and give us newness of life; He will deal with our enemies too!

Then He gave them instruction again in verse 19…”Also you shall attack every fortified city and every choice city, and shall cut down every good tree, and stop up every spring of water, and ruin every good piece of land with stones.” So the fourth lesson is that when God gives us victory over our enemies, we are to burn the bridges behind us; crippling the enemies’ ability to recover and regroup to attack us so easily again. And we do that by using the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of the Living God, prayer, fasting, faith, obedience, and other spiritual disciplines.

It’s very easy to get complacent when we see the enemy start to retreat, but we are not to stop there; we are to be vigilant and relentless, and not stop until complete and total victory is won! So we can’t lose sight of the vision God has given us for completely restored marriages functioning as God intends; where both husband and wife are fulfilling the plans and purposes God has for our marriages and lives. So don’t settle for anything less, and don’t give the enemy room to regroup and attack again.

As we continue to read, we see just how God accomplished this amazing miracle. There was a storm beyond the mountains that they could not see or hear, but in the morning, the water came up through the ground and filled those ditches. And if they had not dug those ditches as instructed by the Lord, they would not have the water He provided. So the first miracle was the provision of the water to refresh them.

But our God always does exceedingly above all we ask or think and He wasn’t done yet! When the Moabites heard they were there and came out to fight them, God literally brought them to the Israelites so they could readily defeat them, as described in verse 22…”Then they rose up early in the morning and the sun was shining on the water; and the Moabites saw the water on the other side as red as blood.” Since that area was not known to have rivers or bodies of water, when the sun rose in the sky and reflected on the pools of water, the Moabites wrongly assume that the three kings’ armies had turned on themselves, and that it was blood they saw. So they thought they wouldn’t have to fight, and could just go in and plunder the spoils, which is what they did in a very disorganized fashion. So Israel was able to defeat them and utterly destroyed them.

God has already made provision for us, so we need to make room for it in our lives. Therefore, we need to ask God to show us the ditches we need to dig in our lives to make room for the flow of His supernatural miracle working power in our lives. So let’s start digging some of those ditches today and make room for God’s provision!

(Note from Linda: As always, we were all blessed when Stephanie shared the following message on the private FAM Fellowship website because she really hit the nail on the head! Jesus came to give us abundant lives and we do not glorify Him when we continue to live in the miserable state many standers make of their lives while waiting for the restoration of their marriages. But when we live in the faith and victory Jesus came to give us, we give others a reason to believe in and receive Him as their Lord and Savior and when our faith brings about the restoration of our marriages and families, Jesus is lifted up, His kingdom is magnified and glorified, and HE will draw all men to Himself (John 12:32)! So let’s learn to live life more abundantly and we will indeed be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!)

*****
Hello Everyone!

I want to share another very important lesson I just learned. This past weekend was my wedding anniversary and I had anticipated that I would be doing something with my husband, especially since we had seen each other so much the week before. But he didn’t contact me at all that day, so I decided to drop my children off at my mom’s, and treated myself to dinner and a movie; which is something I never would have done by myself in the past. I was hurt, angry and disappointed. And I was frustrated with myself, my husband and the whole situation. I even thought about all of the scriptures we all know and love so much; particularly Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11, but I still wondered what kind of good plan could come of this, and I sat at the restaurant feeling lonely, depressed, abandoned and rejected. But it was those very feelings that taught me an invaluable lesson. Simply put; God does not want us to live with those feelings, because He wants us to live life ABUNDANTLY! So I was just letting the devil steal, kill and destroy!

More than likely, most of us tend to think about marriage restoration day in and day out, and often become prisoners of our own thoughts because our emotions, behavior, prayers, and time with the Lord are significantly impacted and influenced by what our spouses are and are not saying and doing, or what our current circumstances happen to be. Yet while we live our lives as “standers” and wait for marriage restoration in God’s perfect timing, we are not meant to be angry, lonely, depressed or whatever negative emotions we naturally tend to experience while we wait.! And even though it is important to know the scriptures that comfort us so much, there’s no doubt that God does not want us to require so much comforting. He obviously wants us to change our FOCUS and to stop spending so much time fretting and thinking about marriage restoration that it becomes the driving force of our lives and who we are (Philippians 4:4-9).

We are so much more than “standers” and God wants us to be thankful and content with where we are at any given time (1 Thessalonians 5:18 and Philippians 4:11). His plan is for us to have good lives and He even sent Jesus to die on the cross to enable us to live life more abundantly (John 10:10 NASB). So God does not want us to waste valuable time and energy on the negative emotions often associated with standing for marriage restoration. Restoring our marriages is God’s work, and He does not need or want our help! But He does want us to DO something with the gifts, talents and abilities he has given each of us for His glory and the furtherance of His kingdom.

So I learned a very important lesson about letting go; that it actually means moving on with our lives and living in peace (1 Corinthians 7:15). Of course, that’s not the “moving on” that naysayers tell us we need to do, but God’s kind of moving on–which is moving out of the way and letting God work. And letting go and getting out of God’s way means that we don’t have to concern ourselves with how God is going to restore our marriages, when he’s going to do it, or what WE need to do to make it happen, etc. For example…a child is waiting for dinner to be ready, and he is VERY hungry…the same way we desire marriage restoration. The child can smell the food cooking…the same as when we see positive changes in our spouses. And the child knows that the dinner will taste good…the same way we believe God’s promises. However, the child is SO hungry that he keeps running into the house to ask his mom when dinner will be ready…the same way we repeatedly ask God when our promise of marriage restoration will be manifested. So the child asks his mom if there is anything he can do to help speed dinner along…the same way we want to “do something” to help God. But his mom tells him to go out and play…the same way God tells us to trust Him; not to worry about it and to live life abundantly. So the child goes out to play AND has a great time because his friends are there and the sun is shining, and he even learns a new game he loves and loses track of time…the same way we do when we live fruitful lives with hearts full of praise and thanksgiving. And then his mom suddenly shouts “Dinner’s ready!”…the same way our marriage restorations occur suddenly!

Even though I was out doing something to pass the time and keep myself distracted, I was miserable and that’s NOT what God wants for me or for any of us. He knows how this is going to end, and he knows what he is doing(Isaiah 55:9) and that it will be good and that we will be overjoyed and in awe when it manifests. God doesn’t want us upset and miserable; but He does want us to enjoy and learn while on the journey.

So I encourage all of us to go out and DO something; to get involved in other things. We need to return to doing the things we loved to do before we became consumed with marriage restoration; whether it’s reading a good book, seeing a movie, working in a ministry, volunteering, or whatever feeds our spirit. And if we don’t know what we would enjoy doing, we should pray about it and let God show us the things we have forgotten. Let us no longer be held prisoners by our circumstances. Our spouses and marriages should NOT be our world and the source of our happiness and fulfillment. God is the only one Who can do that and our marriages should not take first place over God. He loves us more than our spouses can or ever will. And when we live life ABUNDANTLY, despite what is going on, we are not only TRUSTING him, we are GLORIFYING him. We all have special talents and gifts He is just waiting for us to use. We are each unique and wonderful, and He made us that way for a reason; for a purpose that NO ONE else can fulfill but US!! So, we need to hit the minimize button on marriage restoration, change our focus and live life more abundantly!!!!

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. (John 10:10 NASB)

With Love, Your Sister in Christ,
Stephanie

(Note from Linda: There is little more encouraging to men and women standing for marriage restoration than the >After MarriageRestoration testimonies of those who have already been blessed with the fruit of their stand, so I know everyone will be blessed by the following message, which Kelly shared on the private FAM Fellowship website this morning! We do indeed serve a faithful God and we can count on His promises to restore and repay all that the locusts have eaten and destroyed (Joel 2:25) nd that He is able and will give us more than we could ever ask or imagine; just as Ephesians 3:20 declares…Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!) So be blessed and encouraged and KNOW that our God is ever so faithful and so able!)

*****
Hi to everyone at my FAM family. I haven’t posted since our recent Vow Renewal Ceremony in early January and just felt compelled this morning to touch base, give praise to my God, and encourage those who are still trusting and waiting.

Chris and I are doing great and we are so HAPPY. Our children are happy again and we have four months to go before our newest little baby is born. God is so FAITHFUL. So I want to encourage you all to continue in your stand for your marriage and in trusting the only one who has the power to save it. He will NOT fail you.

I also want you all to know that I do not regret one minute of doing things GODS way. I do not regret the hardship I endured in the name of love and in Jesus’ name. I do not regret one tear that was shed or prayer that was prayed for my husband and marriage. It was all worth it. I can’t tell you how many times my husband has actually thanked me sincerely for standing for our marriage and trusting God and for loving him even when he was very unlovable. And this is the same man who once said he would never come back and did not love me anymore; yet who now tells me every day how much he loves me. And he even told me recently that he thinks I am a remarkable woman. We are closer and more intimate than we ever ever were and I want you all to know that we are truly happy; especially if you are wondering if you will ever be happy again.

Be encouraged! GOD CAN NOT FAIL. He will fulfill every promise. And I promise to post more often and stay in touch with you all more.

Joyfully,
Kelly

Hi All,

I want to share some awesome teaching I have been receiving from my pastor. He is teaching a series about pursuing our dreams. The way he is defining dreams is that they are the desires of your heart; your aspirations. He began by explaining that it is God who plants these desires in us and we know it is a God given dream/desire when 1) it is way bigger than something we can do on our own, and way beyond our current situation and has to happen supernaturally, 2) it’s consuming, meaning we have a passion to see it come to pass and no matter what happens, the desire doesn’t go away and 3) it causes us to come out of our comfort zone. And that sure does sound like standing for marriage restoration! And it was so important to me that my pastor explained that this is a God given desire or dream because unlike some, I didn’t “hear” a voice saying to stand or see a sign saying to stand as I drove along the highway; I just knew I woke up one day and wanted my marriage to be healed and restored more than anything I have wanted before in my life. And that was an unexplainable occurrence, especially since I was the one who initiated the separation and my husband had not changed who he was in any way.

My pastor also taught about what we should do while we wait for our dream to come to pass, which I found synonymous to standing. He taught from Psalm 37:3-7 (NKJV). Psalm 37:3 says to Trust in the Lord and do good. As we all know, trusting in God during this process is vital, but the verse also says and do good. And that means working on getting the yuk out, working in God’s kingdom, operating in the fruits of the spirit, showing compassion to others, etc. The verse goes on to say, “Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.” That means to remain steadfast in our stand, unmovable, not being tossed to and fro…decide to stand and STAY THERE! Don’t move, don’t give up and don’t become hopeless; Dwell. And while we are there, feed on His faithfulness. Remember all the signs of encouragement He has shown us while on our way to full restoration, meditate on and confess His Word and promises, and think about all the blessings we have in other areas of our lives…feed on His faithfulness; not our spouses’ actions or words.

Verse 4 then gives us further instruction and a wonderful promise. “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” So let’s delight to talk to Him in prayer, worship Him through words and song, turn on that praise music and let the praises of our King permeate the atmosphere and then He promises to give us the desires of our hearts, which is the restoration of our marriages!!!! Verse 5 states, “Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him…” So we are to commit our ways to the Lord, meaning to operate in His commandments and what His word tells us to do…Love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, Let there be no other gods before Him (including our spouses and marriages!), Love our neighbors as ourselves, Forgive those who trespass against us…Let go and let God! Then it tells us to trust again! God knew this was a tall order for us humans, so He pointed out that after we have truly committed our ways to Him, we need to be reminded to trust again! He’s got it under control. But here comes the rest of the verse with another awesome promise after we’ve committed our ways and continue trusting, “And He shall bring it to pass. The “it” is the desires of our hearts; our dreams and what we have been praying for! IT shall come to pass!!!

But it doesn’t stop there. Verse 6 says, “He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.” So for all those times we eat humble pie, forgive, withstand rejection, deny our fleshly responses and walk the path of righteousness, God says “Don’t worry; your day is coming! Justice will be served, your righteousness shall shine forth as the light and your light will draw others, including your spouse to you!”

So as we do all that verses 3 through 6 teach us, we also need to do as the beginning of verse 7 says, “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;”

Our marriage restorations are on their way. This is a desire God has given us and not only does he give us the desire, He brings what He has given us to desire to pass…just because He is that good, powerful and faithful and for the glory of Jesus Christ!

Be blessed and stay encouraged…for “it shall come to pass!”

The greatest challenge for most men and women standing for marriage restoration has always been and will probably always be letting go and living in peace. Yet that is the single most definitive and declarative instruction in the Word of God when our spouses want to leave, as stated in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16; and as wives are even told how to do in great detail in 1 Peter 3:1-6. Even though contrary to teaching in most churches today, God definitely was NOT saying that it’s okay for us to just get on with our lives and marry the next person in line! His Word is ALWAYS CONSISTENT with the rest of His Word and as Malachi 2:16 declares, GOD HATES DIVORCE, so He was NOT telling us that it’s okay to just abandon His Holy covenant of marriage and to give up on HIS power and promise to defend us and to uphold our marriages when we remain faithful to our vows and put our trust in HIM (Malachi 2 and Psalm 37:5-6)! Not only that, believing and teaching that is TOTALLY CONTRARY to what God said in the first and last verses on the topic of divorce and remarriage in the same chapter (1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and 1 Corinthians 7:39), and God would NOT say something so totally contrary to what He so unambiguously declared before and after these verses because HE is NOT the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33)! SO it is much MORE consistent with His Word to recognize these verses as God’s counsel on HOW to SAVE our marriages and NOT a release to put them asunder, which Jesus very clearly told us that NO MAN SHOULD DO (Matthew 19:6)! However, it is TOTALLY CONSISTENT with how GOD said He would move in Gomer’s (and unfaithful Israel) life (Hosea 2) and how He moved in the life of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), along with numerous warnings against adultery found throughout Proverbs.

Since letting go is often a topic of discussion in the FAM Fellowship, I recently shared a link to a previous Seeds Of Faith post, Understanding the Paradox of Letting our Spouses Go AND Living in Peace, which I want to share here as well. Fortunately, this has even more meaning now that we are blessed with the insight provided by the testimonies of our members and their spouses who have shared The Prodigal Perspective and what happened when their abandoned spouses would not let go and then how they felt and what happened when they did. And without exception, The Prodigal Perspective and Homecoming Testimonies (another new category on the private website) reveal how they were drawn by their spouses’ peaceful demeanor. So it is obviously very important to learn HOW to walk in the peace of God as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

However, the only way to let go and live in peace as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families is to realize that marriage restoration is accomplished in the SUPERNATURAL and NOT in the natural; which is why we have to trust and obey God. And when we do, we will NEVER be disappointed, because as Numbers 23:19 declares, God is not a liar and we have HIS Word that HE will faithfully bring everything He plans and says to pass in both Isaiah 46:10-11 and Isaiah 55:10-11, as well as in numerous other passages of scripture.

Unfortunately, one of the greatest obstacles to trusting and obeying God with absolute confidence in the power and promise of His Word and His faithfulness to bring it to pass when we stand in faith and obedience is that we keep evaluating everything based on what we can or can not do, and on what our spouses do or don’t do. And as long as we do that, we are bound and restricted by the natural, which just hinders and prevents all that God can and will do in the SUPERNATURAL. So we have to understand that letting go when our mates want to leave is NOT giving up on our marriages; quite the contrary. But we ARE giving up on our misguided ideas that there is anything WE can do to keep them from leaving or to bring about restoration. And letting our spouses go also means that we have to stop concerning ourselves in any way with what they are or are not doing and thinking that we can do anything to change them or their plans; because we can’t and the more we try, the more damage we do. In fact, that’s disobedience on OUR part and disregards the instructions and counsel given in 1 Corinthians 5:5, 2 Corinthians 10:6, Matthew 7:1-5 and many other verses such as John 8:7, which says But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” And since NONE of us are, or ever will be without sin, we have no right to cast stones at our spouses or to sit in judgment over what they are or are not doing. And any time we think we are in a position or have the power to change our spouses’ hearts, we are indeed in dangerous territory because Ezekiel 11:19 and Proverbs 21:1 make it clear that it is GOD Who changes and directs our hearts and whenever we think we can do something that only God can do, we are being prideful and God OPPOSES the proud (1 Peter 5:5-6)!

So when we truly trust God and believe that HE CAN AND WILL BRING HIS WORD AND PROMISES TO PASS, and learn to let our spouses go and stop trying to “fix” or “manage” (even manipulate) their lives, we CAN and WILL live in peace if we do as instructed in Philippians 4:4-9 and keep our minds stayed on the Lord and trust Him (Isaiah 26:3)! And one of the best and most effective ways to do that is to CONTINUALLY praise God and to CONSISTENTLY take EVERY thought contrary to His Word captive and make them obedient to Christ; the Word (2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and John 1:14). So whenever we feel fearful and are not experiencing the peace that passes understanding, we know that does NOT come from God, because as 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) declares, …God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. And when we DO what Philippians 4:4-9 tells us to do, we will indeed be able to let our spouses go and live in peace, because it says:
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

God NEVER asks or expects us to do something that HE does not equip and enable us to do, and when we put these things into practice in faith and obedience as we put our hope and confidence in God instead of looking to our spouses; knowing that ONLY He can do what needs to be done to save and restore our marriages, we will surely be blessed and encouraged beyond belief as we realize that we CAN let our spouses go and live in peace because we know that God will restore our marriages for the praise and glory of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:4-14)!

When I read this message from Glenn Jackson last night, it deeply touched my heart because I know how true it is; yet how difficult it is for many wounded and abandoned husbands and wives to fully understand and comprehend. So I hope and pray that everyone still struggling with bitterness and unforgiveness will take it to heart and ask the Lord to purge and cleanse your heart, mind and spirit of any of the devil’s destructive “yuk” that still remains in you; because it will just hinder the work God wants to do in you, those you love and the restoration of your marriage and family. And it just makes the devil’s work easy because it arms him with the power and authority he needs in your life and circumstances when he comes to steal, kill and destroy everything Jesus came and died to give you (John 10:10). So PRAISE GOD, because the GOOD NEWS is that we CAN overcome those vile emotions just as Jesus promised in John 15:5-7 and the power in us is greater than ANYTHING the devil brings against us (1 John 4:4) when we PRACTICE taking our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Jesus Christ, the Word (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 and John 1:14)! So let’s take Glenn’s message to heart and walk out the power and promise of God’s Word found in Philippians 4:4-9 and we will be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!

*****
EXHORTATIONS FROM THE FATHER [Reflections Of The Father's Heart]
February 14th 2009
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When one “maintains” a root of bitterness - especially when it seems clear that they actually were “wronged” in some way - then, a spirit of self-righteousness takes over - convincing them that they are justified in their own thinking and, thus, they speak words that are not rooted and grounded in love [Hebrews 12:15]. In many cases, the words they speak may sound [seem] good but you can be assured that Satan and his forces will use the words they have spoken in a wrong spirit to do harm to the one being “prayed for” or “prophesied over” as what is, in reality, a “curse” opens the door for the Evil One to affix himself to what was spoken or done apart from Christ - and, thus, initiate all manner of demonic activity against that one. This vile action is simply the counterfeit of what My children should actually be doing which is to “love one another”, pray for one another and encourage one another - rather than hate, curse and discourage one another through walking and speaking apart from love [Ephesians 4:31-32].
*****
You can read this message and many others online and sign up to receive Glenn’s messages by daily email on his website.

First of all, Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! And please let this time be a reminder that God loves you so much!!!

I want to share more of my experience as a prodigal with the hope that you will be comforted and encouraged to know that God really does use Valentine’s Day and other holidays to speak to your prodigal’s heart, mind and spirit. I can remember clearly during my own prodigal days how God talked to me. Regrettably, that was a time when I believed I was deeply in love with my NCP and really believed that I didn’t love my husband. In fact, he intensely irritated me and I really disliked him. I blamed him for everything that was wrong in our marriage, and even felt that it was his fault that I had a NCP. Now that’s deception! But I was so blinded that I just couldn’t see anything positive about him at that time.

As I think back to one of my “prodigal moments,” I remember shopping for the NCP for Valentine’s Day and what happened when I went to the store looking for a special card and gift for him. I was excited until I got into the store, and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with sadness. But I shrugged it off and kept going. I began reading the cards and couldn’t help remembering how my husband used to get me the most beautiful cards. But I shrugged that off again and my counter attack was that my NCP loved me way more, and treated me far better. So I kept reading the cards and finally picked one, and then I began searching for a gift. I walked by some men’s shirts and started to pick the kind my husband would like. And I even thought about a time he took me to dinner, and wondered, “Why am I thinking about him of all people!”

Then when it came time to see the NCP, all I felt was guilt. And it didn’t matter what a great time I thought I was having, because deep down I knew it was wrong. I KNEW God was unhappy with me, and the guilt ruined my time with the NCP and that made me angry. But I pretended with the NCP; pretending to be enjoying myself and having a good time. And I even convinced myself that I was. Then on the drive home, I felt sick to my stomach, and I started to wonder if the NCP would be there if I was sick. I was unsure, but I knew my husband would be. There are several more examples I could give, but my point is this…YOUR PRODIGAL CANNOT GET YOU OFF OF HIS/HER MIND NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY FIGHT IT!

I can assure you that God actually comes on stronger than ever to prodigals on days like this!! He begins to discipline us and to speak to our hearts and we have no idea what is going on. Remember…we haven’t been able to hear Him for a long time, so we are confused. But God places the love we have for you, which we have deliberately hidden from ourselves on our hearts (Proverbs 21:1). After all, we are one flesh with you, and bound by the covenant God has made with us (Matthew 19:1-9). And He is using that; He was there when we said “I do” and He means what He says about marriage. He created it and He wants us to take our covenant with you and HIM very seriously (Malachi 2). And it doesn’t matter if you’ve seen us or talked to us or not. And it doesn’t matter who we’re with or what we’re doing (Proverbs 21:30). God won’t stop convicting us, especially on a day about love (Proverbs 16:1).

So even though challenging and emotionally difficult, don’t get caught up in sadness, despair and pity parties. Remember God’s instructions to us in Philippians 4:4-7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and remember that the Lord has you in His righteous right hand. He will comfort you, and at the same time, He will give your prodigal no peace and no rest in their sin and disobedience (Isaiah 57:20-21). They are being called on the carpet today, and God will NOT let them rest. YOU ARE ON THEIR MINDS…YOU ARE IN THEIR HEARTS…YOU ARE WHO THEY LOVE and GOD IS SHOWING IT TO THEM!!! Watch out! God is working overtime for you on this day and many others!!!

I am praying for myself and all of you. May we stand strong on the power of God’s Word and promises and believe that our Father is taking care of everything!

With Love,
Stephanie

(Note from Linda: What a blessing it was for FAM members to read the following “Homecoming Testimony (another new category now on the private FAM Fellowship website), which Karla posted for Russell last night! We are all so blessed to have the insight we’re now getting from our members’ spouses after their marriages have been restored, and I particularly thank Russell for sharing his Prodigal Perspective with us, and for letting me share it here as well; because I know it will be a great blessing to many others standing for marriage restoration in the face of their spouses’ intense anger. It’s also interesting to note that a common theme we hear from prodigals when they do come home is how much the Lord was talking to them and how they struggled with their decision much longer than their spouses ever would have suspected! That’s why God in HIS infinite wisdom tells us NOT to lean to our own understanding and to TRUST HIM WITH ALL OF OUR HEARTS as we acknowledge Him in ALL of our ways and that HE will make our paths straight and the justice of our cause shine like the noon day sun (Proverbs 3:5-6 and Psalm 37:5-6)! And there’s no way to measure the way we are blessed and encouraged when we get that and truly live in peace because we FINALLY LET GO AND LET GOD (1 Corinthians 7:15-16 and 1 Peter 3:1-15)!)

*****
When I left Karla and our children for the last time in April of 2008, I believed there was no other way. I believed that the situation was hopeless, that our marriage was over, and that there was nothing that anyone could say or do that would change that. But I know now that I was deceived by the enemy.

When I left, I moved into a small but light filled apartment with four white walls. While I had four white walls and a bright room, all I could see was darkness, and all I could feel was loneliness. That was because of the anger. To say that I was angry when I left would be a major understatement. The blame game was on and it was all Karla’s fault. If it wasn’t her fault, then it was someone else’s fault, but it was not mine. I am sure that at some point, Karla has said that she played the blame game too. What we have both come to realize is that the enemy is very crafty, because he had taken two people who loved each other with everything they had, and pitted them against each other, so they blamed each other for anything and everything. I believed she was the enemy, and I am pretty sure that she looked at me the same way for a period of time.

When we leave, we are so angry that the anger covers over any sense of reason. In the beginning, I honestly cannot say that I had anything deep down telling me that I was doing something wrong. However, I do know that the anger prevented me from thinking clearly. To make things worse, any time Karla reminded me of how God hated divorce, or how wrong I was; it was like a knife in my back. I felt that she was acting as if she had some sort of moral authority over me, and that angered me even more.

And when I was angry, I could not hear a word Karla said, God said, or what anyone else said for that matter. But as time passed, and as the anger faded, I became calm, and I began to hear her again. I began to hear peace in her voice, and see peace in her spirit. She was no longer talking about the marriage or the past. And she was in a good mood when I saw her and seemed to be “going with the flow.” Nothing seemed to rattle her anymore, and that was a big change for the better. She kept it light when she saw me; whether she was wishing me the best in life or work, or relaying a funny story about something the kids had done that day. Something definitely changed, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I was sure that it was good, but at the same time, I didn’t know if it was real or permanent, and if I could trust it.

On top of being able to hear Karla, something else drastically changed, and now I could hear God too. I have since learned that what happened was that Karla had really and truly “let me go.” Yes, I could now hear God and He was talking to me. Sometimes He talked to me in a dream. And sometimes He talked to me through our kids, but a lot of times, He talked to me through Karla. Little did she know that I was listening to her like I had never listened to her before. I watched her very carefully too; she seemed so peaceful. And I had to know if I could believe what I was seeing and hearing.

Many times during our marriage, and even during our separation, Karla would say “You just have to trust God, and He will work out the details.” or “Trust God and leave the consequences to Him.” She wasn’t saying that to me, but in reference to herself or a situation. And at one point, she said one of those two things and something happened. I could not get it out of my head. It was like someone had engraved it in my brain. I kept saying it to myself over and over again and thinking “What did she mean when she said that? What does that mean?” I know there was at least one night where I did not sleep, because that was all I could think about. Then one day, it hit me; God wanted me to trust him with my marriage, and if I did, He would work it out, even if I could not see how He would do it. Of course, I know now that God was speaking to me, and He wasn’t going to stop. I knew God had brought me to the door of marriage restoration, but I had to walk through it, and I had to walk through it myself. There was nothing anyone could do or say to bring me home; yet I felt I was being pulled in that direction, and I knew I had to take that leap of faith and trust Him.

Trusting God enough to walk through that door was the hardest thing I ever did, but it has been the most rewarding thing I ever did too. God has blessed me more than I could have imagined. He has been working out all the details just like He said He would.

I thank God for bringing me to that door, and Karla for letting me walk through it myself. To all of you standing for your marriages, please know that God will bring your spouse to that same door if you let Him. Please pray for your spouse, and if you have not let them go, I urge you to do so; only then will they be able to hear what God has been trying to tell them all along.

God bless you, Russell

The reason “faith” is the first word in the name of our marriage restoration ministry is because if we don’t have faith in God and REALLY believe Him, we won’t live in the righteousness, peace and joy of the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17) or bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23); much less see the SUPERNATURAL manifestation of the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families. And supernatural means just that; something that is beyond and/or exceeds the natural–and marriage restoration is something WE can’t possibly do in the natural; which means that we have to rely on God to do it in the realm of the SUPERNATURAL. That obviously means that we need the favor of God as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, and just as with humans; the way to assure God’s favor is to PLEASE HIM! And according to Hebrews 11:6, …without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. In fact, Hebrews 10:38 takes that a step further and declares…But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.”

Therefore, as we stand for marriage restoration, it’s very important to understand that the ONLY way to develop and remain in the faith needed to fully access the SUPERNATURAL power of God Almighty is to get serious about reading, studying and understanding His Word, because as Romans 10:17 states, Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. So despite devising all sorts of ways to grow in our walk and relationship with the Lord; there is NOTHING more significant to our walk than the Word of God. And though there are many other passages demonstrating how important the Word is to our walk with the Lord and as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, two of my favorites are Luke 6:46-49 and John 15:7, which says If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. So for those struggling with faith and/or obedience while standing on the power and promise of God’s Word for marriage restoration, the most important thing YOU can do is make getting into God’s Word a top priority, because without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God–and You will be totally amazed by how much your life and circumstances change when you do!

Recent conversations about the importance of faith and REALLY trusting God as we stand for our marriages, reminded me of a previous Seeds Of Faith post, Walking by Faith Demands Being Watchful and Giving Thanks!; probably because it was a bit of a departure from my usual post. But it is a good analogy of how we treat God when it comes to remaining faithful no matter what we see or hear in terms of waiting for our prayers for marriage restoration to be answered. So I hope it will really bless and encourage anyone still struggling to stand. And the following message, which Dan posted on the private site this week, points out another important reason our faith is so important and how it makes such a difference in our lives and in the lives of those we love. So put your faith in the Lord, where it is sure to reap a bountiful harvest, and you will indeed be blessed and encouraged!

How our Faith Works Powerfully in our Families by Dan Spitz

This past Sunday, the sermon at my church was on Luke 5:18-26 and was titled the “The Greater Miracle.” The pastor pointed out that it was not the paralyzed man’s faith that impressed Jesus but the faith of his friends. And Jesus responded to their faith and healed the man. Of course there are certainly other messages in that passage of scripture, but the one that spoke to me is that for better or worse, our faith affects other people.

People are watching us, so we have a wonderful opportunity to witness for God. We can’t make another person a believer or follower of Jesus Christ, but we can do much through our words, actions, and love to give him or her a chance to respond to the Lord by the way we live. Just like the friends of the paralyzed man, we can, through our faith, bring them to Jesus and let Him heal them and restore them. We can show that Jesus is God and that He has the power to heal both body and soul. And we have to remember that guilt and shame can sometimes cause more harm and damage than physical illness or paralysis. So let’s expect God to act in our spouses’ and children’s lives; not just because of their faith but because of our faith in His Word and His promises.

(Note from Linda: The FAM members were once again blessed by the following testimony from Stephanie sharing The Prodigal Perspective, which I’m sure will bless everyone standing for marriage restoration and struggling to understand their beloved spouses’ behavior, because it’s such an important message. As Proverbs 19:22 states, What a man desires is unfailing love. …, and understanding that helps us better understand the works of the devil because he very effectively uses that against us and our prodigal spouses. As humans, when we don’t feel loved, we tend to look for it elsewhere and then having found what we thought was love in all of the wrong places, we understandably find it impossible to believe that the person whose love we already doubted could ever forgive and love us again. Yet, men and women standing for marriage restoration all say that they love their spouses more now than ever before, which is something ONLY God can do! But it’s important to note that love is something we DO according to 1 Corinthians 13 and not just words we say, and when we demonstrate unconditional love on a consistent basis, we will see the hand of God move on our behalf and our marriages restored. So let’s learn to show the love of Jesus and we will be blessed and encouraged! Because according to God, love is greater than either faith or hope!)

*****
Hello my FAMM family! I wanted to write another post because something reminded me of my “prodigal moments” and I feel it’s really important to share with all of you.

I actually felt good about sharing my experience as a prodigal in my last posts, but as I became more and more at peace, the enemy showed up and tried to keep me from sharing again. My husband had stayed with me and our kids for a few days and then started going back to his mom’s, so there were times when I needed to read my own posts for strength. Of course, the enemy told me how terrible it was that I was reading my own posts…how could I help others when I can’t even help myself…and lots of other crazy stuff. At first, I was agreeing with him and feeling really bad, but then the Holy Spirit stepped in and showed me the lie I was being fed. He took me down memory lane and reminded me of all the things the enemy had told me when I was a prodigal. Satan was just up to his old tricks again, but he’s a loser and God is on my side! Praise God!! So I want to use my testimony about the time I was held in Satan’s captivity to help others stand and to glorify God!

The Holy Spirit gently reminded me of the time when as a prodigal, I felt –I had gone too far to be forgiven. And I was convinced that I was unlovable and that there was no way my spouse would take me back. I can assure you all that if your prodigal spouse is not there already, they will be there at some point. The illusion of happiness, contentment and being fulfilled without you, our spouse, is just fleeting and temporary. But then Satan tells us that we’ve gone too far this time and that you would never forgive us. He reminds us of what friends/family might think and that no one will accept us or get past our sin. And he reminds us of how disappointed God must be with us, how unworthy we are to call ourselves Christian (to those of us who are), and how unworthy we are to call ourselves someone’s “husband” or “wife.” (John 10:10) So as prodigals, we begin to not only hate our sin, but ourselves. We don’t love ourselves, so how could anyone else love us?

So when you see our up and down emotions, that’s usually when we are battling our sin and our emotions toward that sin. We don’t know what to do, where to turn, or who to turn to. Surely not God; we’ve turned our backs on him for too long. So where do we go for help; for comfort; for love?

Are you ready, guys–this is YOUR cue. Camera, lights, action—-you’re on–show us! Show us that YOU love us. (Hosea 3:1)
When we believe we’ve gone too far and we don’t know how to get back to you—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Ephesians 2:4-5)
When we have spent countless days/hours hearing Satan’s condemnations and we speak/behave badly towards you (because we are angry/disappointed in ourselves)—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Psalm 86:15)
When we indicate or tell you that we don’t love you (because we don’t love ourselves and can’t imagine why you would)—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Psalm 36:5)

By doing that, you are the reminder of God’s love that we so desperately need. So show your spouse the love of Christ within you. That is what your prodigal sees that makes them look at you with awe, with delighted confusion, and amazement. How can you love us (the prodigal) considering everything we’ve done? What they don’t realize is that it is not you alone; it is Christ within you. (John 15:9 and 1 John 4:4)

He has brought us all to this journey to show us how much he loves us. He has changed our hearts and has given us an unshakable compassion and love for our spouses. Why? And why the spouse that has hurt us so deeply? Because YOU are the ONE FLESH partner and you are no longer two people but ONE!!! (Matthew 19:5) YOU are the one who holds HIS PROMISE and COVENANT! God knows what is happening on the other side of the mountain. He knows the situation your prodigal is in and He hears the destructive and hurtful lies the enemy is speaking to your spouse. So God uses YOU, the person he created for your spouse to INTERCEDE for him/her. God does not want your spouse to be deceived by Satan, so your stand is two fold; for yourself and your closer walk and obedience to God and for your spouse and their deliverance and salvation or return to the Lord. You are the divine part of your spouse that God will use to show them that they are not so far gone that God’s love can’t bring them home. Please, there is no one else that we really trust to show us love more than YOU (not even the NCP). And one day your marriage will be restored and you will get to share with your spouse all about God’s love!!!

With all my love,
Stephanie

P.S. Even if your spouse is not with an NCP, your command to love still applies!