(Note from Linda: The following was posted by Melissa on the private FAM Fellowship website as she looks back and shares what she has learned while standing for the miraculous restoration of her marriage and family. It’s been nothing short of wonderful and exciting for all of us to see the Lord move in Melissa’s heart and life since she first came to FAM a little over a year and a half ago. And we’ve all been so excited, encouraged and honored to witness the miraculous ways God has been and continues to resolve ALL of the obstacles that have stood in the way of her husband’s return. Their relationship has been restored for months now and Melissa even claimed her marriage restoration (something we do in FAM—speaking things that are not as though they were) many months ago when he told her he was coming home and how much he regretted his involvement with the NCP. But since there are two more children now involved and so many other seemingly impossible issues to overcome, knowing that he wants to come home and getting it done are two totally different things. Yet, God has ever so faithfully been resolving one issue after another and it’s actually very amazing and awe inspiring to see how He has worked out every little detail for them! So SNO should indeed be home very soon and the message Melissa shares as she looks forward to that and contemplates what she has learned during this time is very important for everyone standing for marriage restoration to understand and implement in our own lives. God doesn’t want any of us to get into a “just waiting” mode; because He has a plan and purpose for each of us and He means for us to do ALL that He has called us to do; not just to stand for the restoration of our marriages. And if we haven’t yet been radically changed and transformed in the process of standing, we are probably not ready for restoration and God isn’t likely to act SUPERNATURALLY to bring it about because He knows we will end up right back in the same place if we don’t change and if we don’t have the right walk and relationship with Him. And the more time we waste expecting and waiting for God to change our spouses instead of asking Him to change us, the longer we will likely wait, so I hope and pray that everyone reading what Melissa shared will take it to heart and allow God to reveal the work He wants to do in US instead! And when we do that, we are the ones who will be blessed and encouraged as we release the power of the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts, lives and marriages!)

*****
There are often times during our stand for marriage restoration when we feel that we are “just waiting”…just waiting for our spouses to come to their senses….or just waiting for God to get a hold of them. So we can easily get into a pattern of thinking that we are ready for our spouse to come home and definitely beyond ready for all of this to be over. I’ve certainly felt that way many times throughout my stand, but God always manages to reveal something to remind me that He is working on ME during this time too. It’s not like I think I have reached “perfection” since I am human and never will because I am a sinner like everyone else, but I have often thought that I was ready for my husband to return and that it must be a matter of “just waiting..”

Fortunately, I finally realized that when I got into that mindset, I would tend to become anxious for my husband’s return; anxious to the point that waiting was becoming very uncomfortable and stressful, and I just wanted the time of waiting to be over. Yet, being anxious is totally contrary to doing things God’s way because we’re instructed to be anxious for nothing in Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV. In fact, God is actually using this time of waiting for our own good and benefit, regardless of how ready we think we are, and He truly knows what’s best (Romans 8:28). Furthermore, when we are anxious, we are more prone to attempt to manipulate or “fix” things by trying to speed up the process in our own way instead of trusting God and not leaning to our own understanding, which is something else God tells us not to do in Proverbs 3:5-6. And I can regrettably recall many times when my anxious spirit didn’t heed or surrender to the work God was doing because I was obviously not content with all that He was doing and mistakenly thought I had to do something to “help” God. Yet, God expects us to be content and to give thanks in ALL circumstances (Philippians 4:11-13 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18) because we trust Him! And when we trust God and love Him enough to obey and serve Him, we will indeed be content and prosperous (Job 36:11) and able to truly praise the Lord and give thanks in ALL circumstances!

And looking back, it’s easy to see that time after time, when I tried to take matters into my own hands, it just made everything worse. But God knew that and just wanted me to get to the point that no matter what, I would trust Him for everything; including His most perfect timing (Ephesians 1:4-14). So God has taught me many lessons through this journey, which has brought about a radical change in my heart and in my whole way of life. And I really do feel like a completely new person because I have had a total make over on the inside that shines on the outside too. So standing for the restoration of my marriage has been a very precious and valuable time in my life. And it’s been (and continues to be) an incredible journey because God has shown Himself to me in so many amazing and miraculous ways, and I have truly made Him the Lord of my life and learned to trust Him and to have complete faith in Him to meet every need and to get me through everything life brings my way.

As things with my husband are finally coming full circle and we are very close to having a fully restored marriage (after two years of separation and two children with the NCP), I have become a lot more thoughtful and reflective. Since I have continually and faithfully prayed for SNO (spouse name omitted) to come home and it’s SO close, I have such an amazing feeling knowing that it’s almost here. And as difficult as this time of waiting has often been, it’s so much worth everything I’ve been through because God’s Word assures us that He will do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). I don’t know about everyone else, but I have often imagined what it will be like to be a family again and to have my husband home with us, so it’s incredible to know that God will exceed all I have imagined and really makes me look forward with great anticipation to the fulfillment of His plans for my marriage; which I know will be nothing short of miraculous and fills me with hope for what lies ahead for our family (Jeremiah 29:11-13).

So I want to encourage everyone still waiting for the manifestation of your marriage restoration to remember that while we wait for our spouses to come home, God is SUPERNATURALLY laying the foundation for our restored marriages. And no matter how it might seem otherwise to us, He is not idle for one second or letting time stand still without working mightily in each of our situations. Even as I put this in words, I am aware that SNO would be home today, if God said today was His perfect timing. And since my husband has not yet walked through the door, there are obviously things God is still working on in both of us to lay His solid foundation for our new and improved restored marriage. Since what we had before fell far short of either of our expectations, and we will now both have the marriage we always wanted and dreamed of, I have not been “just waiting” as I often thought; God was just preparing both of us to be the spouses we each want and need.

When we learn to enjoy every day and keep an attitude of gratitude and praise, this journey in our lives will likely be one of the most precious and life changing times we will ever experience. So it is very important that we keep our focus on God and give Him full control of our lives and circumstances; trusting that every day and every situation and circumstance has purpose in GOD’S plan and that His plan will be fulfilled (Isaiah 46:10-11 and Proverbs 19:21). And that means letting go of our personal time table; knowing that God is not going to keep us waiting any longer than necessary. But we are NOT “just waiting” because God has something He wants us to do and learn every day we wait. God sees the big picture; He knows the end from the beginning. And when we let Him do the work He wants to do in us, not one second is wasted while we wait for the full and complete restoration of our marriages. God is never idle and we shouldn’t be either, and there is ALWAYS something more God wants to teach us and to do in us and something He wants us to do for Him. So let’s not fall into the trap of thinking that we’re “just waiting” and passing time…the truth is that it is more than likely God Who is “just waiting”…just waiting for us to truly trust and obey Him and to allow Him to complete the work still needed in US before HE completes the work of restoring our marriages and bringing our spouses home!

(Note from Linda: Becky, a FAM member with a restored marriage, posted the following message on the private site, and since it’s such a powerful and encouraging message for everyone standing for marriage restoration, I want to share it here as well! If ever we question the wisdom and power of Proverbs 3:5-6, this Old Testament story should put all of our doubts and questions to rest, because the Israelites just had to trust God with all of their hearts and sure would have been in BIG trouble if they had leaned on their own understanding! Just look what trouble the Moabites got into when they did that! And what powerful reminder that things are NOT always what they might SO “reasonably” appear to be! So no matter what we hear and see, or don’t hear and see, let’s put our faith in God to SUPERNATURALLY do the impossible and to make every provision for all of our needs and then some! And when we start digging through all of those things that keep the Lord from working in our lives (unforgiveness, self-righteousness, pride, and failure to trust and obey and love and respect our spouses unconditionally for starters), we will without a doubt be blessed and encouraged beyond belief as His blessings and provisions begin to flow in our lives and the restoration of our marriages and families!)

*****
Hi Everyone,

I want to share a passage of scripture that the Lord has been reminding me of from II Kings 3 (NKJV), when the Lord tells His people to “Make this valley full of ditches.” God was instructing his people to make room for the provision of God, and there are many lessons in this passage of scripture we can learn when we are in tough places of life and need God’s miraculous and supernatural provision.

This story starts out with the Moabites rebelling against Israel. So the King of Israel King Jehoram (son of Ahab and Jezebel) went to King Jehoshaphat, King of Judah, and asks him to join him in fighting the Moabites. King Jehoshaphat agrees, so they made a plan to take a certain route through the dry wilderness and catch them by surprise. However, they found themselves in trouble when they ran out of water. King Jehoram blamed God because it looked like they would all die out there. But King Jehoshaphat said, “You know, that doesn’t sound like the God I serve. Is there not a prophet that we can inquire of the Lord what to do?” So the first lesson is that when we find ourselves in a dry place and it looks like there is no way out…seek the Lord about what to do.

So they brought in Elisha. And just look at what Elisha did when he wanted a word from God in verse 15…”But now bring me a musician.” Then it happened; when the musician played, the hand of the Lord came upon him. So the second lesson is that when we need a fresh word from the Lord, a word for the “right now season”…do as Elisha did and begin to worship the Lord; and when we begin to worship, we will find clarity in our mind and the Lord will speak to us.

Then the word of the Lord came in verse 16, and He said, “Make this valley full of ditches.” And verse 17 goes on to say, “For thus says the Lord: you shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain; yet that valley shall be filled with water, so that you, your cattle, and your animals may drink.”

What the Lord told them made no sense in the natural because they were out in the hot, dry desert, where there was no water; yet the Lord was telling them to go dig ditches. So the third lesson is to be quick to obey what the Lord tells us to do, even though it may not make sense in our own minds.

Notice that the Lord said, “You shall not see wind, nor shall you see rain, yet the valley will be filled with water.” So as always, God was saying that we won’t necessarily see where the provision is coming from, but He will provide. As we stand for our marriages, we don’t always see how God is working, but we can rest assured that He is at work.

So as the people were digging ditches, they were making room for God’s promised provision even though they didn’t know how it was going to be done. And since we know that God is the same yesterday, today and forever, we need to be digging ditches to make room for the provision God has promised us. We particularly need to dig the ditches needed to make room for His provision of marriage restoration, which means that we all need to dig ditches of forgiveness and make room for the flow of God’s spirit to come into our lives to bring us peace, refreshment, newness of life and fruitfulness. So I’m asking God to show me what ditches I need to dig in my life.

But a two-fold miracle took place here. Not only did God refresh them with water and save them from certain destruction; just look at verse 18….”And this is a simple matter in the sight of the Lord; He will also deliver the Moabites into your hand.” Don’t you just love that part…this is a simple matter in the sight of the Lord! God not only wants to refresh us with His presence and give us newness of life; He will deal with our enemies too!

Then He gave them instruction again in verse 19…”Also you shall attack every fortified city and every choice city, and shall cut down every good tree, and stop up every spring of water, and ruin every good piece of land with stones.” So the fourth lesson is that when God gives us victory over our enemies, we are to burn the bridges behind us; crippling the enemies’ ability to recover and regroup to attack us so easily again. And we do that by using the Sword of the Spirit, which is the Word of the Living God, prayer, fasting, faith, obedience, and other spiritual disciplines.

It’s very easy to get complacent when we see the enemy start to retreat, but we are not to stop there; we are to be vigilant and relentless, and not stop until complete and total victory is won! So we can’t lose sight of the vision God has given us for completely restored marriages functioning as God intends; where both husband and wife are fulfilling the plans and purposes God has for our marriages and lives. So don’t settle for anything less, and don’t give the enemy room to regroup and attack again.

As we continue to read, we see just how God accomplished this amazing miracle. There was a storm beyond the mountains that they could not see or hear, but in the morning, the water came up through the ground and filled those ditches. And if they had not dug those ditches as instructed by the Lord, they would not have the water He provided. So the first miracle was the provision of the water to refresh them.

But our God always does exceedingly above all we ask or think and He wasn’t done yet! When the Moabites heard they were there and came out to fight them, God literally brought them to the Israelites so they could readily defeat them, as described in verse 22…”Then they rose up early in the morning and the sun was shining on the water; and the Moabites saw the water on the other side as red as blood.” Since that area was not known to have rivers or bodies of water, when the sun rose in the sky and reflected on the pools of water, the Moabites wrongly assume that the three kings’ armies had turned on themselves, and that it was blood they saw. So they thought they wouldn’t have to fight, and could just go in and plunder the spoils, which is what they did in a very disorganized fashion. So Israel was able to defeat them and utterly destroyed them.

God has already made provision for us, so we need to make room for it in our lives. Therefore, we need to ask God to show us the ditches we need to dig in our lives to make room for the flow of His supernatural miracle working power in our lives. So let’s start digging some of those ditches today and make room for God’s provision!

(Note from Linda: As always, we were all blessed when Stephanie shared the following message on the private FAM Fellowship website because she really hit the nail on the head! Jesus came to give us abundant lives and we do not glorify Him when we continue to live in the miserable state many standers make of their lives while waiting for the restoration of their marriages. But when we live in the faith and victory Jesus came to give us, we give others a reason to believe in and receive Him as their Lord and Savior and when our faith brings about the restoration of our marriages and families, Jesus is lifted up, His kingdom is magnified and glorified, and HE will draw all men to Himself (John 12:32)! So let’s learn to live life more abundantly and we will indeed be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!)

*****
Hello Everyone!

I want to share another very important lesson I just learned. This past weekend was my wedding anniversary and I had anticipated that I would be doing something with my husband, especially since we had seen each other so much the week before. But he didn’t contact me at all that day, so I decided to drop my children off at my mom’s, and treated myself to dinner and a movie; which is something I never would have done by myself in the past. I was hurt, angry and disappointed. And I was frustrated with myself, my husband and the whole situation. I even thought about all of the scriptures we all know and love so much; particularly Romans 8:28 and Jeremiah 29:11, but I still wondered what kind of good plan could come of this, and I sat at the restaurant feeling lonely, depressed, abandoned and rejected. But it was those very feelings that taught me an invaluable lesson. Simply put; God does not want us to live with those feelings, because He wants us to live life ABUNDANTLY! So I was just letting the devil steal, kill and destroy!

More than likely, most of us tend to think about marriage restoration day in and day out, and often become prisoners of our own thoughts because our emotions, behavior, prayers, and time with the Lord are significantly impacted and influenced by what our spouses are and are not saying and doing, or what our current circumstances happen to be. Yet while we live our lives as “standers” and wait for marriage restoration in God’s perfect timing, we are not meant to be angry, lonely, depressed or whatever negative emotions we naturally tend to experience while we wait.! And even though it is important to know the scriptures that comfort us so much, there’s no doubt that God does not want us to require so much comforting. He obviously wants us to change our FOCUS and to stop spending so much time fretting and thinking about marriage restoration that it becomes the driving force of our lives and who we are (Philippians 4:4-9).

We are so much more than “standers” and God wants us to be thankful and content with where we are at any given time (1 Thessalonians 5:18 and Philippians 4:11). His plan is for us to have good lives and He even sent Jesus to die on the cross to enable us to live life more abundantly (John 10:10 NASB). So God does not want us to waste valuable time and energy on the negative emotions often associated with standing for marriage restoration. Restoring our marriages is God’s work, and He does not need or want our help! But He does want us to DO something with the gifts, talents and abilities he has given each of us for His glory and the furtherance of His kingdom.

So I learned a very important lesson about letting go; that it actually means moving on with our lives and living in peace (1 Corinthians 7:15). Of course, that’s not the “moving on” that naysayers tell us we need to do, but God’s kind of moving on–which is moving out of the way and letting God work. And letting go and getting out of God’s way means that we don’t have to concern ourselves with how God is going to restore our marriages, when he’s going to do it, or what WE need to do to make it happen, etc. For example…a child is waiting for dinner to be ready, and he is VERY hungry…the same way we desire marriage restoration. The child can smell the food cooking…the same as when we see positive changes in our spouses. And the child knows that the dinner will taste good…the same way we believe God’s promises. However, the child is SO hungry that he keeps running into the house to ask his mom when dinner will be ready…the same way we repeatedly ask God when our promise of marriage restoration will be manifested. So the child asks his mom if there is anything he can do to help speed dinner along…the same way we want to “do something” to help God. But his mom tells him to go out and play…the same way God tells us to trust Him; not to worry about it and to live life abundantly. So the child goes out to play AND has a great time because his friends are there and the sun is shining, and he even learns a new game he loves and loses track of time…the same way we do when we live fruitful lives with hearts full of praise and thanksgiving. And then his mom suddenly shouts “Dinner’s ready!”…the same way our marriage restorations occur suddenly!

Even though I was out doing something to pass the time and keep myself distracted, I was miserable and that’s NOT what God wants for me or for any of us. He knows how this is going to end, and he knows what he is doing(Isaiah 55:9) and that it will be good and that we will be overjoyed and in awe when it manifests. God doesn’t want us upset and miserable; but He does want us to enjoy and learn while on the journey.

So I encourage all of us to go out and DO something; to get involved in other things. We need to return to doing the things we loved to do before we became consumed with marriage restoration; whether it’s reading a good book, seeing a movie, working in a ministry, volunteering, or whatever feeds our spirit. And if we don’t know what we would enjoy doing, we should pray about it and let God show us the things we have forgotten. Let us no longer be held prisoners by our circumstances. Our spouses and marriages should NOT be our world and the source of our happiness and fulfillment. God is the only one Who can do that and our marriages should not take first place over God. He loves us more than our spouses can or ever will. And when we live life ABUNDANTLY, despite what is going on, we are not only TRUSTING him, we are GLORIFYING him. We all have special talents and gifts He is just waiting for us to use. We are each unique and wonderful, and He made us that way for a reason; for a purpose that NO ONE else can fulfill but US!! So, we need to hit the minimize button on marriage restoration, change our focus and live life more abundantly!!!!

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. (John 10:10 NASB)

With Love, Your Sister in Christ,
Stephanie

(Note from Linda: There is little more encouraging to men and women standing for marriage restoration than the >After MarriageRestoration testimonies of those who have already been blessed with the fruit of their stand, so I know everyone will be blessed by the following message, which Kelly shared on the private FAM Fellowship website this morning! We do indeed serve a faithful God and we can count on His promises to restore and repay all that the locusts have eaten and destroyed (Joel 2:25) nd that He is able and will give us more than we could ever ask or imagine; just as Ephesians 3:20 declares…Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!) So be blessed and encouraged and KNOW that our God is ever so faithful and so able!)

*****
Hi to everyone at my FAM family. I haven’t posted since our recent Vow Renewal Ceremony in early January and just felt compelled this morning to touch base, give praise to my God, and encourage those who are still trusting and waiting.

Chris and I are doing great and we are so HAPPY. Our children are happy again and we have four months to go before our newest little baby is born. God is so FAITHFUL. So I want to encourage you all to continue in your stand for your marriage and in trusting the only one who has the power to save it. He will NOT fail you.

I also want you all to know that I do not regret one minute of doing things GODS way. I do not regret the hardship I endured in the name of love and in Jesus’ name. I do not regret one tear that was shed or prayer that was prayed for my husband and marriage. It was all worth it. I can’t tell you how many times my husband has actually thanked me sincerely for standing for our marriage and trusting God and for loving him even when he was very unlovable. And this is the same man who once said he would never come back and did not love me anymore; yet who now tells me every day how much he loves me. And he even told me recently that he thinks I am a remarkable woman. We are closer and more intimate than we ever ever were and I want you all to know that we are truly happy; especially if you are wondering if you will ever be happy again.

Be encouraged! GOD CAN NOT FAIL. He will fulfill every promise. And I promise to post more often and stay in touch with you all more.

Joyfully,
Kelly

Hi All,

I want to share some awesome teaching I have been receiving from my pastor. He is teaching a series about pursuing our dreams. The way he is defining dreams is that they are the desires of your heart; your aspirations. He began by explaining that it is God who plants these desires in us and we know it is a God given dream/desire when 1) it is way bigger than something we can do on our own, and way beyond our current situation and has to happen supernaturally, 2) it’s consuming, meaning we have a passion to see it come to pass and no matter what happens, the desire doesn’t go away and 3) it causes us to come out of our comfort zone. And that sure does sound like standing for marriage restoration! And it was so important to me that my pastor explained that this is a God given desire or dream because unlike some, I didn’t “hear” a voice saying to stand or see a sign saying to stand as I drove along the highway; I just knew I woke up one day and wanted my marriage to be healed and restored more than anything I have wanted before in my life. And that was an unexplainable occurrence, especially since I was the one who initiated the separation and my husband had not changed who he was in any way.

My pastor also taught about what we should do while we wait for our dream to come to pass, which I found synonymous to standing. He taught from Psalm 37:3-7 (NKJV). Psalm 37:3 says to Trust in the Lord and do good. As we all know, trusting in God during this process is vital, but the verse also says and do good. And that means working on getting the yuk out, working in God’s kingdom, operating in the fruits of the spirit, showing compassion to others, etc. The verse goes on to say, “Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.” That means to remain steadfast in our stand, unmovable, not being tossed to and fro…decide to stand and STAY THERE! Don’t move, don’t give up and don’t become hopeless; Dwell. And while we are there, feed on His faithfulness. Remember all the signs of encouragement He has shown us while on our way to full restoration, meditate on and confess His Word and promises, and think about all the blessings we have in other areas of our lives…feed on His faithfulness; not our spouses’ actions or words.

Verse 4 then gives us further instruction and a wonderful promise. “Delight yourself also in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” So let’s delight to talk to Him in prayer, worship Him through words and song, turn on that praise music and let the praises of our King permeate the atmosphere and then He promises to give us the desires of our hearts, which is the restoration of our marriages!!!! Verse 5 states, “Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him…” So we are to commit our ways to the Lord, meaning to operate in His commandments and what His word tells us to do…Love the Lord our God with all of our hearts, Let there be no other gods before Him (including our spouses and marriages!), Love our neighbors as ourselves, Forgive those who trespass against us…Let go and let God! Then it tells us to trust again! God knew this was a tall order for us humans, so He pointed out that after we have truly committed our ways to Him, we need to be reminded to trust again! He’s got it under control. But here comes the rest of the verse with another awesome promise after we’ve committed our ways and continue trusting, “And He shall bring it to pass. The “it” is the desires of our hearts; our dreams and what we have been praying for! IT shall come to pass!!!

But it doesn’t stop there. Verse 6 says, “He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, And your justice as the noonday.” So for all those times we eat humble pie, forgive, withstand rejection, deny our fleshly responses and walk the path of righteousness, God says “Don’t worry; your day is coming! Justice will be served, your righteousness shall shine forth as the light and your light will draw others, including your spouse to you!”

So as we do all that verses 3 through 6 teach us, we also need to do as the beginning of verse 7 says, “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him;”

Our marriage restorations are on their way. This is a desire God has given us and not only does he give us the desire, He brings what He has given us to desire to pass…just because He is that good, powerful and faithful and for the glory of Jesus Christ!

Be blessed and stay encouraged…for “it shall come to pass!”

The greatest challenge for most men and women standing for marriage restoration has always been and will probably always be letting go and living in peace. Yet that is the single most definitive and declarative instruction in the Word of God when our spouses want to leave, as stated in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16; and as wives are even told how to do in great detail in 1 Peter 3:1-6. Even though contrary to teaching in most churches today, God definitely was NOT saying that it’s okay for us to just get on with our lives and marry the next person in line! His Word is ALWAYS CONSISTENT with the rest of His Word and as Malachi 2:16 declares, GOD HATES DIVORCE, so He was NOT telling us that it’s okay to just abandon His Holy covenant of marriage and to give up on HIS power and promise to defend us and to uphold our marriages when we remain faithful to our vows and put our trust in HIM (Malachi 2 and Psalm 37:5-6)! Not only that, believing and teaching that is TOTALLY CONTRARY to what God said in the first and last verses on the topic of divorce and remarriage in the same chapter (1 Corinthians 7:10-11 and 1 Corinthians 7:39), and God would NOT say something so totally contrary to what He so unambiguously declared before and after these verses because HE is NOT the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33)! SO it is much MORE consistent with His Word to recognize these verses as God’s counsel on HOW to SAVE our marriages and NOT a release to put them asunder, which Jesus very clearly told us that NO MAN SHOULD DO (Matthew 19:6)! However, it is TOTALLY CONSISTENT with how GOD said He would move in Gomer’s (and unfaithful Israel) life (Hosea 2) and how He moved in the life of The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32), along with numerous warnings against adultery found throughout Proverbs.

Since letting go is often a topic of discussion in the FAM Fellowship, I recently shared a link to a previous Seeds Of Faith post, Understanding the Paradox of Letting our Spouses Go AND Living in Peace, which I want to share here as well. Fortunately, this has even more meaning now that we are blessed with the insight provided by the testimonies of our members and their spouses who have shared The Prodigal Perspective and what happened when their abandoned spouses would not let go and then how they felt and what happened when they did. And without exception, The Prodigal Perspective and Homecoming Testimonies (another new category on the private website) reveal how they were drawn by their spouses’ peaceful demeanor. So it is obviously very important to learn HOW to walk in the peace of God as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

However, the only way to let go and live in peace as we stand for the restoration of our marriages and families is to realize that marriage restoration is accomplished in the SUPERNATURAL and NOT in the natural; which is why we have to trust and obey God. And when we do, we will NEVER be disappointed, because as Numbers 23:19 declares, God is not a liar and we have HIS Word that HE will faithfully bring everything He plans and says to pass in both Isaiah 46:10-11 and Isaiah 55:10-11, as well as in numerous other passages of scripture.

Unfortunately, one of the greatest obstacles to trusting and obeying God with absolute confidence in the power and promise of His Word and His faithfulness to bring it to pass when we stand in faith and obedience is that we keep evaluating everything based on what we can or can not do, and on what our spouses do or don’t do. And as long as we do that, we are bound and restricted by the natural, which just hinders and prevents all that God can and will do in the SUPERNATURAL. So we have to understand that letting go when our mates want to leave is NOT giving up on our marriages; quite the contrary. But we ARE giving up on our misguided ideas that there is anything WE can do to keep them from leaving or to bring about restoration. And letting our spouses go also means that we have to stop concerning ourselves in any way with what they are or are not doing and thinking that we can do anything to change them or their plans; because we can’t and the more we try, the more damage we do. In fact, that’s disobedience on OUR part and disregards the instructions and counsel given in 1 Corinthians 5:5, 2 Corinthians 10:6, Matthew 7:1-5 and many other verses such as John 8:7, which says But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” And since NONE of us are, or ever will be without sin, we have no right to cast stones at our spouses or to sit in judgment over what they are or are not doing. And any time we think we are in a position or have the power to change our spouses’ hearts, we are indeed in dangerous territory because Ezekiel 11:19 and Proverbs 21:1 make it clear that it is GOD Who changes and directs our hearts and whenever we think we can do something that only God can do, we are being prideful and God OPPOSES the proud (1 Peter 5:5-6)!

So when we truly trust God and believe that HE CAN AND WILL BRING HIS WORD AND PROMISES TO PASS, and learn to let our spouses go and stop trying to “fix” or “manage” (even manipulate) their lives, we CAN and WILL live in peace if we do as instructed in Philippians 4:4-9 and keep our minds stayed on the Lord and trust Him (Isaiah 26:3)! And one of the best and most effective ways to do that is to CONTINUALLY praise God and to CONSISTENTLY take EVERY thought contrary to His Word captive and make them obedient to Christ; the Word (2 Corinthians 10:3-5 and John 1:14). So whenever we feel fearful and are not experiencing the peace that passes understanding, we know that does NOT come from God, because as 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV) declares, …God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. And when we DO what Philippians 4:4-9 tells us to do, we will indeed be able to let our spouses go and live in peace, because it says:
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

God NEVER asks or expects us to do something that HE does not equip and enable us to do, and when we put these things into practice in faith and obedience as we put our hope and confidence in God instead of looking to our spouses; knowing that ONLY He can do what needs to be done to save and restore our marriages, we will surely be blessed and encouraged beyond belief as we realize that we CAN let our spouses go and live in peace because we know that God will restore our marriages for the praise and glory of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1:4-14)!

When I read this message from Glenn Jackson last night, it deeply touched my heart because I know how true it is; yet how difficult it is for many wounded and abandoned husbands and wives to fully understand and comprehend. So I hope and pray that everyone still struggling with bitterness and unforgiveness will take it to heart and ask the Lord to purge and cleanse your heart, mind and spirit of any of the devil’s destructive “yuk” that still remains in you; because it will just hinder the work God wants to do in you, those you love and the restoration of your marriage and family. And it just makes the devil’s work easy because it arms him with the power and authority he needs in your life and circumstances when he comes to steal, kill and destroy everything Jesus came and died to give you (John 10:10). So PRAISE GOD, because the GOOD NEWS is that we CAN overcome those vile emotions just as Jesus promised in John 15:5-7 and the power in us is greater than ANYTHING the devil brings against us (1 John 4:4) when we PRACTICE taking our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Jesus Christ, the Word (2 Corinthians 10:3-6 and John 1:14)! So let’s take Glenn’s message to heart and walk out the power and promise of God’s Word found in Philippians 4:4-9 and we will be blessed and encouraged beyond belief!

*****
EXHORTATIONS FROM THE FATHER [Reflections Of The Father's Heart]
February 14th 2009
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When one “maintains” a root of bitterness - especially when it seems clear that they actually were “wronged” in some way - then, a spirit of self-righteousness takes over - convincing them that they are justified in their own thinking and, thus, they speak words that are not rooted and grounded in love [Hebrews 12:15]. In many cases, the words they speak may sound [seem] good but you can be assured that Satan and his forces will use the words they have spoken in a wrong spirit to do harm to the one being “prayed for” or “prophesied over” as what is, in reality, a “curse” opens the door for the Evil One to affix himself to what was spoken or done apart from Christ - and, thus, initiate all manner of demonic activity against that one. This vile action is simply the counterfeit of what My children should actually be doing which is to “love one another”, pray for one another and encourage one another - rather than hate, curse and discourage one another through walking and speaking apart from love [Ephesians 4:31-32].
*****
You can read this message and many others online and sign up to receive Glenn’s messages by daily email on his website.

First of all, Happy Valentine’s Day to you all! And please let this time be a reminder that God loves you so much!!!

I want to share more of my experience as a prodigal with the hope that you will be comforted and encouraged to know that God really does use Valentine’s Day and other holidays to speak to your prodigal’s heart, mind and spirit. I can remember clearly during my own prodigal days how God talked to me. Regrettably, that was a time when I believed I was deeply in love with my NCP and really believed that I didn’t love my husband. In fact, he intensely irritated me and I really disliked him. I blamed him for everything that was wrong in our marriage, and even felt that it was his fault that I had a NCP. Now that’s deception! But I was so blinded that I just couldn’t see anything positive about him at that time.

As I think back to one of my “prodigal moments,” I remember shopping for the NCP for Valentine’s Day and what happened when I went to the store looking for a special card and gift for him. I was excited until I got into the store, and all of a sudden I was overwhelmed with sadness. But I shrugged it off and kept going. I began reading the cards and couldn’t help remembering how my husband used to get me the most beautiful cards. But I shrugged that off again and my counter attack was that my NCP loved me way more, and treated me far better. So I kept reading the cards and finally picked one, and then I began searching for a gift. I walked by some men’s shirts and started to pick the kind my husband would like. And I even thought about a time he took me to dinner, and wondered, “Why am I thinking about him of all people!”

Then when it came time to see the NCP, all I felt was guilt. And it didn’t matter what a great time I thought I was having, because deep down I knew it was wrong. I KNEW God was unhappy with me, and the guilt ruined my time with the NCP and that made me angry. But I pretended with the NCP; pretending to be enjoying myself and having a good time. And I even convinced myself that I was. Then on the drive home, I felt sick to my stomach, and I started to wonder if the NCP would be there if I was sick. I was unsure, but I knew my husband would be. There are several more examples I could give, but my point is this…YOUR PRODIGAL CANNOT GET YOU OFF OF HIS/HER MIND NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY FIGHT IT!

I can assure you that God actually comes on stronger than ever to prodigals on days like this!! He begins to discipline us and to speak to our hearts and we have no idea what is going on. Remember…we haven’t been able to hear Him for a long time, so we are confused. But God places the love we have for you, which we have deliberately hidden from ourselves on our hearts (Proverbs 21:1). After all, we are one flesh with you, and bound by the covenant God has made with us (Matthew 19:1-9). And He is using that; He was there when we said “I do” and He means what He says about marriage. He created it and He wants us to take our covenant with you and HIM very seriously (Malachi 2). And it doesn’t matter if you’ve seen us or talked to us or not. And it doesn’t matter who we’re with or what we’re doing (Proverbs 21:30). God won’t stop convicting us, especially on a day about love (Proverbs 16:1).

So even though challenging and emotionally difficult, don’t get caught up in sadness, despair and pity parties. Remember God’s instructions to us in Philippians 4:4-7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and remember that the Lord has you in His righteous right hand. He will comfort you, and at the same time, He will give your prodigal no peace and no rest in their sin and disobedience (Isaiah 57:20-21). They are being called on the carpet today, and God will NOT let them rest. YOU ARE ON THEIR MINDS…YOU ARE IN THEIR HEARTS…YOU ARE WHO THEY LOVE and GOD IS SHOWING IT TO THEM!!! Watch out! God is working overtime for you on this day and many others!!!

I am praying for myself and all of you. May we stand strong on the power of God’s Word and promises and believe that our Father is taking care of everything!

With Love,
Stephanie

(Note from Linda: What a blessing it was for FAM members to read the following “Homecoming Testimony (another new category now on the private FAM Fellowship website), which Karla posted for Russell last night! We are all so blessed to have the insight we’re now getting from our members’ spouses after their marriages have been restored, and I particularly thank Russell for sharing his Prodigal Perspective with us, and for letting me share it here as well; because I know it will be a great blessing to many others standing for marriage restoration in the face of their spouses’ intense anger. It’s also interesting to note that a common theme we hear from prodigals when they do come home is how much the Lord was talking to them and how they struggled with their decision much longer than their spouses ever would have suspected! That’s why God in HIS infinite wisdom tells us NOT to lean to our own understanding and to TRUST HIM WITH ALL OF OUR HEARTS as we acknowledge Him in ALL of our ways and that HE will make our paths straight and the justice of our cause shine like the noon day sun (Proverbs 3:5-6 and Psalm 37:5-6)! And there’s no way to measure the way we are blessed and encouraged when we get that and truly live in peace because we FINALLY LET GO AND LET GOD (1 Corinthians 7:15-16 and 1 Peter 3:1-15)!)

*****
When I left Karla and our children for the last time in April of 2008, I believed there was no other way. I believed that the situation was hopeless, that our marriage was over, and that there was nothing that anyone could say or do that would change that. But I know now that I was deceived by the enemy.

When I left, I moved into a small but light filled apartment with four white walls. While I had four white walls and a bright room, all I could see was darkness, and all I could feel was loneliness. That was because of the anger. To say that I was angry when I left would be a major understatement. The blame game was on and it was all Karla’s fault. If it wasn’t her fault, then it was someone else’s fault, but it was not mine. I am sure that at some point, Karla has said that she played the blame game too. What we have both come to realize is that the enemy is very crafty, because he had taken two people who loved each other with everything they had, and pitted them against each other, so they blamed each other for anything and everything. I believed she was the enemy, and I am pretty sure that she looked at me the same way for a period of time.

When we leave, we are so angry that the anger covers over any sense of reason. In the beginning, I honestly cannot say that I had anything deep down telling me that I was doing something wrong. However, I do know that the anger prevented me from thinking clearly. To make things worse, any time Karla reminded me of how God hated divorce, or how wrong I was; it was like a knife in my back. I felt that she was acting as if she had some sort of moral authority over me, and that angered me even more.

And when I was angry, I could not hear a word Karla said, God said, or what anyone else said for that matter. But as time passed, and as the anger faded, I became calm, and I began to hear her again. I began to hear peace in her voice, and see peace in her spirit. She was no longer talking about the marriage or the past. And she was in a good mood when I saw her and seemed to be “going with the flow.” Nothing seemed to rattle her anymore, and that was a big change for the better. She kept it light when she saw me; whether she was wishing me the best in life or work, or relaying a funny story about something the kids had done that day. Something definitely changed, but I wasn’t sure what it was. I was sure that it was good, but at the same time, I didn’t know if it was real or permanent, and if I could trust it.

On top of being able to hear Karla, something else drastically changed, and now I could hear God too. I have since learned that what happened was that Karla had really and truly “let me go.” Yes, I could now hear God and He was talking to me. Sometimes He talked to me in a dream. And sometimes He talked to me through our kids, but a lot of times, He talked to me through Karla. Little did she know that I was listening to her like I had never listened to her before. I watched her very carefully too; she seemed so peaceful. And I had to know if I could believe what I was seeing and hearing.

Many times during our marriage, and even during our separation, Karla would say “You just have to trust God, and He will work out the details.” or “Trust God and leave the consequences to Him.” She wasn’t saying that to me, but in reference to herself or a situation. And at one point, she said one of those two things and something happened. I could not get it out of my head. It was like someone had engraved it in my brain. I kept saying it to myself over and over again and thinking “What did she mean when she said that? What does that mean?” I know there was at least one night where I did not sleep, because that was all I could think about. Then one day, it hit me; God wanted me to trust him with my marriage, and if I did, He would work it out, even if I could not see how He would do it. Of course, I know now that God was speaking to me, and He wasn’t going to stop. I knew God had brought me to the door of marriage restoration, but I had to walk through it, and I had to walk through it myself. There was nothing anyone could do or say to bring me home; yet I felt I was being pulled in that direction, and I knew I had to take that leap of faith and trust Him.

Trusting God enough to walk through that door was the hardest thing I ever did, but it has been the most rewarding thing I ever did too. God has blessed me more than I could have imagined. He has been working out all the details just like He said He would.

I thank God for bringing me to that door, and Karla for letting me walk through it myself. To all of you standing for your marriages, please know that God will bring your spouse to that same door if you let Him. Please pray for your spouse, and if you have not let them go, I urge you to do so; only then will they be able to hear what God has been trying to tell them all along.

God bless you, Russell

The reason “faith” is the first word in the name of our marriage restoration ministry is because if we don’t have faith in God and REALLY believe Him, we won’t live in the righteousness, peace and joy of the Holy Spirit (Romans 14:17) or bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23); much less see the SUPERNATURAL manifestation of the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families. And supernatural means just that; something that is beyond and/or exceeds the natural–and marriage restoration is something WE can’t possibly do in the natural; which means that we have to rely on God to do it in the realm of the SUPERNATURAL. That obviously means that we need the favor of God as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, and just as with humans; the way to assure God’s favor is to PLEASE HIM! And according to Hebrews 11:6, …without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. In fact, Hebrews 10:38 takes that a step further and declares…But my righteous one will live by faith. And if he shrinks back, I will not be pleased with him.”

Therefore, as we stand for marriage restoration, it’s very important to understand that the ONLY way to develop and remain in the faith needed to fully access the SUPERNATURAL power of God Almighty is to get serious about reading, studying and understanding His Word, because as Romans 10:17 states, Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ. So despite devising all sorts of ways to grow in our walk and relationship with the Lord; there is NOTHING more significant to our walk than the Word of God. And though there are many other passages demonstrating how important the Word is to our walk with the Lord and as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, two of my favorites are Luke 6:46-49 and John 15:7, which says If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. So for those struggling with faith and/or obedience while standing on the power and promise of God’s Word for marriage restoration, the most important thing YOU can do is make getting into God’s Word a top priority, because without faith it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God–and You will be totally amazed by how much your life and circumstances change when you do!

Recent conversations about the importance of faith and REALLY trusting God as we stand for our marriages, reminded me of a previous Seeds Of Faith post, Walking by Faith Demands Being Watchful and Giving Thanks!; probably because it was a bit of a departure from my usual post. But it is a good analogy of how we treat God when it comes to remaining faithful no matter what we see or hear in terms of waiting for our prayers for marriage restoration to be answered. So I hope it will really bless and encourage anyone still struggling to stand. And the following message, which Dan posted on the private site this week, points out another important reason our faith is so important and how it makes such a difference in our lives and in the lives of those we love. So put your faith in the Lord, where it is sure to reap a bountiful harvest, and you will indeed be blessed and encouraged!

How our Faith Works Powerfully in our Families by Dan Spitz

This past Sunday, the sermon at my church was on Luke 5:18-26 and was titled the “The Greater Miracle.” The pastor pointed out that it was not the paralyzed man’s faith that impressed Jesus but the faith of his friends. And Jesus responded to their faith and healed the man. Of course there are certainly other messages in that passage of scripture, but the one that spoke to me is that for better or worse, our faith affects other people.

People are watching us, so we have a wonderful opportunity to witness for God. We can’t make another person a believer or follower of Jesus Christ, but we can do much through our words, actions, and love to give him or her a chance to respond to the Lord by the way we live. Just like the friends of the paralyzed man, we can, through our faith, bring them to Jesus and let Him heal them and restore them. We can show that Jesus is God and that He has the power to heal both body and soul. And we have to remember that guilt and shame can sometimes cause more harm and damage than physical illness or paralysis. So let’s expect God to act in our spouses’ and children’s lives; not just because of their faith but because of our faith in His Word and His promises.

(Note from Linda: The FAM members were once again blessed by the following testimony from Stephanie sharing The Prodigal Perspective, which I’m sure will bless everyone standing for marriage restoration and struggling to understand their beloved spouses’ behavior, because it’s such an important message. As Proverbs 19:22 states, What a man desires is unfailing love. …, and understanding that helps us better understand the works of the devil because he very effectively uses that against us and our prodigal spouses. As humans, when we don’t feel loved, we tend to look for it elsewhere and then having found what we thought was love in all of the wrong places, we understandably find it impossible to believe that the person whose love we already doubted could ever forgive and love us again. Yet, men and women standing for marriage restoration all say that they love their spouses more now than ever before, which is something ONLY God can do! But it’s important to note that love is something we DO according to 1 Corinthians 13 and not just words we say, and when we demonstrate unconditional love on a consistent basis, we will see the hand of God move on our behalf and our marriages restored. So let’s learn to show the love of Jesus and we will be blessed and encouraged! Because according to God, love is greater than either faith or hope!)

*****
Hello my FAMM family! I wanted to write another post because something reminded me of my “prodigal moments” and I feel it’s really important to share with all of you.

I actually felt good about sharing my experience as a prodigal in my last posts, but as I became more and more at peace, the enemy showed up and tried to keep me from sharing again. My husband had stayed with me and our kids for a few days and then started going back to his mom’s, so there were times when I needed to read my own posts for strength. Of course, the enemy told me how terrible it was that I was reading my own posts…how could I help others when I can’t even help myself…and lots of other crazy stuff. At first, I was agreeing with him and feeling really bad, but then the Holy Spirit stepped in and showed me the lie I was being fed. He took me down memory lane and reminded me of all the things the enemy had told me when I was a prodigal. Satan was just up to his old tricks again, but he’s a loser and God is on my side! Praise God!! So I want to use my testimony about the time I was held in Satan’s captivity to help others stand and to glorify God!

The Holy Spirit gently reminded me of the time when as a prodigal, I felt –I had gone too far to be forgiven. And I was convinced that I was unlovable and that there was no way my spouse would take me back. I can assure you all that if your prodigal spouse is not there already, they will be there at some point. The illusion of happiness, contentment and being fulfilled without you, our spouse, is just fleeting and temporary. But then Satan tells us that we’ve gone too far this time and that you would never forgive us. He reminds us of what friends/family might think and that no one will accept us or get past our sin. And he reminds us of how disappointed God must be with us, how unworthy we are to call ourselves Christian (to those of us who are), and how unworthy we are to call ourselves someone’s “husband” or “wife.” (John 10:10) So as prodigals, we begin to not only hate our sin, but ourselves. We don’t love ourselves, so how could anyone else love us?

So when you see our up and down emotions, that’s usually when we are battling our sin and our emotions toward that sin. We don’t know what to do, where to turn, or who to turn to. Surely not God; we’ve turned our backs on him for too long. So where do we go for help; for comfort; for love?

Are you ready, guys–this is YOUR cue. Camera, lights, action—-you’re on–show us! Show us that YOU love us. (Hosea 3:1)
When we believe we’ve gone too far and we don’t know how to get back to you—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Ephesians 2:4-5)
When we have spent countless days/hours hearing Satan’s condemnations and we speak/behave badly towards you (because we are angry/disappointed in ourselves)—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Psalm 86:15)
When we indicate or tell you that we don’t love you (because we don’t love ourselves and can’t imagine why you would)—-SHOW US THAT YOU LOVE US. (Psalm 36:5)

By doing that, you are the reminder of God’s love that we so desperately need. So show your spouse the love of Christ within you. That is what your prodigal sees that makes them look at you with awe, with delighted confusion, and amazement. How can you love us (the prodigal) considering everything we’ve done? What they don’t realize is that it is not you alone; it is Christ within you. (John 15:9 and 1 John 4:4)

He has brought us all to this journey to show us how much he loves us. He has changed our hearts and has given us an unshakable compassion and love for our spouses. Why? And why the spouse that has hurt us so deeply? Because YOU are the ONE FLESH partner and you are no longer two people but ONE!!! (Matthew 19:5) YOU are the one who holds HIS PROMISE and COVENANT! God knows what is happening on the other side of the mountain. He knows the situation your prodigal is in and He hears the destructive and hurtful lies the enemy is speaking to your spouse. So God uses YOU, the person he created for your spouse to INTERCEDE for him/her. God does not want your spouse to be deceived by Satan, so your stand is two fold; for yourself and your closer walk and obedience to God and for your spouse and their deliverance and salvation or return to the Lord. You are the divine part of your spouse that God will use to show them that they are not so far gone that God’s love can’t bring them home. Please, there is no one else that we really trust to show us love more than YOU (not even the NCP). And one day your marriage will be restored and you will get to share with your spouse all about God’s love!!!

With all my love,
Stephanie

P.S. Even if your spouse is not with an NCP, your command to love still applies!

(Note from Linda: Teresa shared the following post on the private site today and it really is such an important message for everyone standing for marriage restoration! God does NOT want or expect us to be idle as we wait for HIM to work out the restoration of our marriages. And my experience in marriage restoration ministry has shown me repeatedly that the more dedicated we are in preparing ourselves for marriage restoration and understand that our stand is for His purpose and for His glory, the sooner we see Him move SUPERNATURALLY on our behalf! God never expects us to just mark time while we idly wait for a miracle to take place; that brings no glory to the Lord and does nothing to prepare us for the work He has purposed and planned for us. So this is a very powerful testimony and something everyone standing for marriage restoration really needs to take to heart as we consider how it can be applied to our lives. As Rick Warren so famously wrote It’s not about you! And the more we make it about us, the further from marriage restoration we remain. So let’s get up every day and ask God what HE wants us to do for Him and His kingdom that day, and be prepared to be blessed and encouraged as He pours His blessings out in our lives and in the restoration of our marriages!)

*****
Hi FAM Family. I have had a post brewing in me for a couple of days, so I decided to sit down and write it this morning. I was listening to a testimony the other day of a woman who spent the first half of her life in the muck and mire of life. She began using drugs in high school and that continued to the point of losing every job she had. She worked in radio and television, but went to work high every day. She then started a band and her drug use was even too intense for the band and they left her. She also had intense rage in her life, so people would always leave her. She got to the point where she was cooking her drugs and selling them. And then she would do her own collecting when payment wasn’t made, which was a very dangerous thing as she dealt with big time biker gangs. And she ended up in a war with them and they were trying to kill her. And after many arrests over the years, a judge finally said no more bail…you are going to prison. And she was sentenced to thirteen years.

While in her cell the very first night, the Holy Spirit came upon her and she prayed in the Spirit for several hours. As time went on, she began reading the bible and she read it through three times in four months. So she began ministering to the other inmates, which was quite a testimony since she did nothing but fight and cause trouble in the beginning.

She then shared a revelation she had one day, while reading one of our favorite scriptures, which was Jeremiah 29:11. Earlier in that passage, the Lord told the captives to build houses, plant gardens and eat of the fruit; to have families and increase there numbers. And He said to seek the peace of the city where He CAUSED them to be carried away too and pray to the Lord for it; for in its peace you will have peace. What God showed her was that while we are in “captivity” so to speak, he wants us to grow, live, learn and to have peace because He has caused these things for His purpose. He uses these times to prepare us for the purpose He has for us. And she began to rejoice in being imprisoned because she realized this was the training ground for the rest of her life with God. Now she travels all over the world and speaks to thousands of “captives” in prisons. She understood that the “captive” part of her life was so essential for the work God wanted to do in her and through her.

So it is of the utmost importance that we really examine our hearts and ask God to show us our motives for our stand for marriage restoration. Do we want our marriage restored because we are lonely? Or because we feel shamed that we are single or perhaps like failures? Do we want it for financial security, or any kind of security for that matter? The only secure thing in this life is Jesus Christ. And we are where we are for a reason and God wants our motives to be His motives only. Look at how this ministry and others like it are growing. He is raising up a people who will speak His truth in a very relative world. And we are those people. He is commissioning us for His mighty work and we need to be VERY focused and realize that this is our training ground. It does NOT matter what are spouses are doing or not doing; they are God’s responsibility and He is more than capable of handling them. We must focus on our responsibility and learn and be faithfully committed to everything God is asking of us. He knows we will falter at times, but He has all that worked out in His plan and it is all factored in as well. He loves us and is gracious and patient with us. All He wants is for our hearts to be open and willing and He will do the rest. So let’s take the peace that God has for us and look through eyes that are eternal and not temporal.

I love you all so much and praise God for you. In Christ’s love, Teresa

*****
Jeremiah 29:4-14 - This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon:
5″Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease.
Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper.”
Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: “Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the LORD.
This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

(Note from Linda: Dan, shared the following on the private site today and the line he chose for the title is one of the most profound and powerful messages for every Christian I’ve ever heard. So I hope and pray that it is one we will all take heed to and learn to rely on as we continue to stand on the power and promise of God’s Word for the full and complete restoration of our marriages and families, which we obviously can’t really do without KNOWING the Word of God! And to the extent that we do, we will indeed be blessed and encouraged!)

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I just finished reading, The Wonderful Spirit Filled Life by Charles Stanley. And as usual, I had an earlier discussion with someone last night about a particular topic, and God sent a clarification and message concerning our conversation. I want to share an excerpt from the book, which deals with unbelieving spouses; but more importantly, the fact that God has sent us His Word to guide and direct us in all we do. And the message is loud and clear, as Dr. Stanley points out, that the Bible is the mind of God in print and “It holds the keys for attaining and maintaining real success.” The Bible is the Holy Spirit’s most objective way of communicating with His people. He states, “If you want to know what the Holy Spirit thinks about something, read the Bible. It is the only way to know anything about Him. There is NO substitute.”

We are standing, not just for our marriages, but in obedience to the Word of God, who will be glorified by our stand and the restoration of our marriages. Be encouraged and blessed.

Dr. Stanley shared the following story:

“A man came into my office one summer and told me the Spirit had led him to divorce his wife. When I asked why, he said it was because she was an unbeliever. She was hindering his spiritual progress. He had prayed and prayed and finally received peace about filing for divorce.
I picked up the Bible, turned to 1 Corinthians 7, and read him these verses:

If any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through the
believing husband. ! Corinthians 7:12-14

He assured me he had read the verses. Then he assured me that God had released him of his obligation to his wife. He was wrong. How could the same Holy Spirit who moved Paul to instruct believing husbands to remain married to their unbelieving wives turn around and tell this man to do something different?

We must always allow the Word of God to stand as judge over our thoughts, feelings, and impressions. When we feel impressed to do A but the Word of God says to do B, we better do B. No matter how strongly you feel that the Holy Spirit is leading you, remember, the Holy Spirit will never lead you where the Word of God forbids you. Never! There are no exceptions.”

(Note from Linda: I couldn’t believe it when I logged on to the private site earlier today and read the following message from Diane! I had actually forwarded today’s Small Straws message from Marsha Burns to several FAM members who I knew were really struggling, so this is a very timely message. And if so many in our family are struggling, I have no doubt that many visitors to the site who are standing for marriage restoration are as well. So please take Marsha’s Small Straws message, along with Diane’s wisdom and encouragement to heart and I’m sure you will be blessed and encouraged in our Lord Jesus!)

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SMALL STRAWS IN A SOFT WIND by Marsha Burns –February 4, 2009:

I speak to those who have encountered recent situations and circumstances that have set up unseen roadblocks. You seem to have gotten stuck and do not feel like you can advance. This is because you have allowed these things to cause you to see yourself as overwhelmed and failing. But, I say to you, this is not the truth. This is a tactic of the enemy to frustrate and even embarrass you. Rise above your feelings of being blocked into the realm of the spirit and resist this attack, and purpose to move ahead, says the Lord.

Philippians 3:13-14 “Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”

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Wow, I just read this and had a post coming to me all day and this just confirms it. God continues to amaze and lift me up. Things with my family and me are great and God continues to bless us in so many ways. So I pray that everyone will stand firm on God’s promises for their family and trust and believe that nothing is too hard for God.

I have been reading many messages about our attention being on God’s promises, and to keep His word in front of our eyes and in our ears until we see it coming to pass with the eyes of our spirit. We need to speak as though it is already here and to keep focusing on what God can do and not what we may or may not see. Nothing intimidates our God; nothing is bigger than Him. We need to remember that through Christ we can do all things, and that includes everything that we might have to walk through now. We have been given an assignment from God to do this and when He calls us to do something, He gives us everything we need to do it. And we cannot keep thinking that we can’t get through it or that we might not have heard God; we have to keep believing that He can and will restore all families. What He has done for one He will do for all. He doesn’t set us up to fail; He has not lost a battle yet.

Romans 5:2 says that we have access by faith into the grace of God. Therefore, stand by faith believing for your marriage, your family and the salvation of your spouse. Dare to believe God’s word and be the light in this dark world for families everywhere. People are watching and waiting to see how God does this and they are watching our attitudes as we walk through this. I can tell you that in time you will see the victory, and you will have the best that God has planned for you. So don’t let the devil steal, kill and destroy all that God has planned.

You need to let go of any bad attitude or talk that comes to you, you have to choose to be joyful even if you don’t feel joy. You need to get the spirit of faith to believe even when the devil is trying his best to defeat you. He still even tries to get me to believe that God has left me to fend for myself now, but we all know that he is a liar and a loser. The bible says in 2 Corinthians 4:13 that we believe, therefore we speak. So it stands to reason that if you want those circumstances to change, you have to have faith, in your heart and your mouth. Call those things that aren’t as though they are and believe God can restore your dead marriage and give you beauty for the ashes. This is a time for looking forward to what God is doing and not back at the pain of the circumstance. God is moving those mountains and He will complete the job; just believe and do not give up. LOOK UP and BELIEVE. Nothing is bigger than our God. Do not let fear steal away the victory God has in the works for you. Keep asking God to show you what He wants you to do and know that He is always faithful to be right there walking beside you.

I pray that this week you will write out God’s promises–they are for you, and remember all that He has already brought you through. He will never leave you nor forsake you. God loves you!

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You can sign up to receive the Spirit of Prophecy Bulletin and read Bill and Marsha Burns’ messages online on their website.

(Note from Linda: Lorraine’s Coffee Break devotional this morinng is such an important message for everyone standing for marriage restoration, because we all have to choose whether or not we are going to look at the circumstances and problems surrounding us or keep our focus steadfastly on the power and promise of God’s Word! As we know and written about in a previous Seeds Of Faith post, Keeping our Eyes on Jesus; when Peter was walking on the water, he was looking at and obeying Jesus, but the minute he started looking at the storm around him, he began to sink. And that’s the same way it is with us as we stand for our marriages and families! So let’s keep our eyes on Jesus and be blessed and encouraged as we trust and obey Him and see His majesty, glory, power and promises fully manifested in our lives and in the full and complete restoration of our marriages!)

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“At that day shall a man look to his Maker, and his eyes shall have respect to the
Holy One of Israel.” Isaiah 17:7

Have you ever wondered why two cars driving on a straight road with no obstruction and clear visibility would collide with one another? We are told that it’s because they were each looking at the oncoming car and veered in the direction they were looking. When driving, or walking, you will go in the direction you are looking. If you look to the left you will start going to the left. If you look to the right you will start going to the right. If you are looking straight ahead you will go straight. This is a natural principle that holds true spiritually as well. That is why it is so important to be careful where you are “looking”.

The Bible says that Lot looked at the plains of Sodom and went in that direction. After he kept looking at the city of Sodom he wound up going into the city. David looked in the direction of Bathsheba and wound up committing adultery. Lot’s wife looked back at the judgment of Sodom and was judged. The disciples kept looking at Jesus and went in the direction He was going. Jesus looked in the direction of the will of the Father and went in that direction- to the cross.

We must keep looking to the hills where our help comes from. We must keep our eyes on the prize that is set before us. We must keep looking to Jesus the Author and
Finisher of our faith. We must keep looking with expectation for that glorious appearing of our Savior. We must look to the One who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all we can ask or think. We must look at the One who is our hope, our redemption,
our healer, our deliverer, our Savior and our soon coming King. We must keep our eyes off the world, the desires of the flesh, the devices of the enemy, the ways of men. We must keep them upon the Lord, His word, His promises, His will. We must be careful of where we are looking because that’s the direction we will start heading.

Have a great day. If you look at the world you will go the way/direction of the world. If you keep your eyes on Jesus you will go the way/will of the Lord.

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Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and available online and sent by email free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
So please feel free to call Lorraine at (601) 833-5278 or E-mail her at mastersbusiness@bellsouth.net
And you can visit her on the web at MastersBusiness.org.

We greatly appreciate and thank Lorraine for her permission to share and reprint her Coffee Break devotionals here to bless and encourage our visitors!