The following message was shared earlier tonight on the ladies’ fellowship website. And since I have no doubt this is a very important and timely message for many people standing for the restoration of their marriages, I appreciate Jenn’s permission to share it here. And the amazing thing about it is the timing, because we have been standing in agreement against an event scheduled for the upcoming weekend. She was praying that it wouldn’t happen, and I was praying that if it did happen, the Lord would just use it to finally sever any remaining ties her husband has with the NCP. And she was REALLY handling the whole situation with a great deal of faith and confidence, not to mention grace. Well, after the Lord spoke to her earlier today, and before she had time to study about what it meant, she was told that the plans for the weekend are canceled, due to bad weather! Praise the Lord!!! And I have absolutely NO DOUBT that’s because Jenn stood firm and allowed faith to be her guide! So as you read this powerful message to all of us from the Lord through Jenn, I know you will be blessed and encouraged!

“When the Lord speaks to me I usually get really concerned about what he is truly trying to tell me. Years ago, before I became a Christian and had a personal relationship with God, I used to hear stories about God speaking to people and thought “Yeah…Right! I don’t think so…” Well guess what? It truly does happen. But sometimes in my flesh I start to question if this is really happening. Yes it does!! It did back then too, but now I am listening, so I can actually hear it.

Today I kept hearing God tell me Stand Firm and then a little while later I heard him say Faith as your guide. So I decided to look up the main 4 words he spoke to me; and let me tell you, it was awesome to have this revelation. Remain erect, position and endure, securely fixed in place, unwavering, completely loyal and trusting God to give direction and supply advice and to counsel. That is the total definition of STAND FIRM FAITH GUIDE. WOW!!!!!!
But I still really wanted to see what He was telling me written scripturally. And He led me to 1 Peter 5:9-11. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.
He is telling us in these scriptures to stand firm because if we waiver in our faith by being so focused on our troubles, we forget that Satan is right around the corner waiting for us to let our guard down and attack. We need to allow God to be our guide by fully trusting him to give us the directions to sustain us through these trials and tribulations. Just like a tourist guide God wants to show us the best there is. The memorable moments, the heartfelt moments that he has in store for us. But we need to let him guide us by reading his word daily, praying consistently, and also sharing the word of God with others. That is why I believe that he spoke to me today so that I’d share with other standers. I was listening. Will you? Remember….
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD!!!!!!”

One of the most important, yet difficult and challenging, things for us to learn as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is how to take control of our emotions, because our emotions tend to control us and they influence and determine our actions and WAY TOO MUCH of what we say. Since it’s impossible to do that in and of ourselves (John 15:5), the ONLY way we can accomplish it is to KNOW and BELIEVE the word of God. And that’s confirmed in 2 Corinthians 10:4-6, which says The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete. For a more in depth study of that, read The Importance of Taking Every Thought Captive. And another very similar and related SOF post is Learning to Walk in the Spirit.

There’s no doubt that ALL of us can relate to the struggle between KNOWING what we should do and actually DOING what we should do. This is not a new battle for man, as Paul very well expressed and described it in Romans 7 But the rest of the story and so much of the answer we have to rely on is found in Romans 8, especially Romans 8:5, which is a very powerful verse we don’t focus on or teach about enough, because it says Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. And The Amplified Bible puts it this way, For those who are according to the flesh and are controlled by its unholy desires set their minds on and pursue those things which gratify the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit and are controlled by the desires of the Spirit set their minds on and seek those things which gratify the [Holy] Spirit. So that boils down to whether or not we’re focused on things of this world instead of the things of God; are we heavenly minded? What’s on our mind most of the time? What are we seeking and what are we pursuing? Answering those questions will tell us if we’re being controlled by our sinful nature or whether we’re walking in the strength and victory of our spiritual nature as described in Romans 8.

Perhaps having a better understanding of Satan’s power and his never ending desire to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10) every blessing, provision and protection promised in God’s Word, might change our perspective and help us overcome the stronghold he has in the area of our emotions. As so often happens, Creflo Dollar’s TV broadcast message this morning was perfectly timed to address this issue, because it is something many men and women standing for marriage restoration struggle with. We have to understand that standing for our marriage is a matter of warfare, and on one side with us is God and on the other side is Satan, who wants to destroy our marriages and our children. So if we continue to give way to his lies and deception, which ALWAYS try to convince us of anything and everything contrary to the Word and character of God, we allow him to steal the restoration we desire because he steals our faith and confidence that God CAN and WILL do what we ourselves are totally powerless to do. And one of the most effective ways he does that is to convince us that there IS something we can do to change our circumstances, and other than obedience to the Word of God and seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness as we put all of our trust and confidence in Him (Proverbs 3:5-6 and Matthew 6:32-34), There is absolutely NOTHING we can do. That’s why He tells us to HUMBLE ourselves under His mighty hand and that HE WILL lift us up in DUE time and that we can cast ALL of our anxieties on Him because He cares for us (1 Peter 5:5-7! So don’t miss Creflo Dollar’s message, What Hinders the Glory? (Part 2). And here’s the first part, What Hinders the Glory?, from yesterday. And please take notes and study these messages, so they can sink in, because there’s no way to understand the power of God’s Word as we take control of our emotions and stand against the wiles of the devil for the restoration of our marriages, without being greatly blessed and encouraged!

Friday night’s FAM Chat was a great time of fellowship and ministry, and what an awesome blessing it was to see the FAM Fellowship members ministering to each other while sharing their personal experiences to help support and encourage each other! 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 was definitely being walked out, because it says Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. Even though the topic started out with sharing why we believe the Lord will restore our marriages, toward the end of the evening it turned more to how difficult it is to let go and trust God in the midst of our problems, which one of the members shared he is finding very difficult to do. He knows what he’s supposed to do, but just finds it too difficult to actually do it and was seeking practical advice about how to change that. And I have to admit to feeling a lot like a proud mama as I saw the depth of compassion and wisdom poured out by the other members in response to our brother’s need. And since this is something most of us have fought to overcome at one time or another, or may still battle from time to time, that will be the topic of this week’s FAM Chat, unless the Lord comes up with something else before then.

Everyone shared great biblical counsel, and most of the “letting go” responses came down to expressing the need we discovered for a personal relationship with Jesus before really learning to trust Him and rely on His word. Since I know this is the same issue so many people standing for marriage restoration struggle with, especially in the earliest stages, I’m sharing my responses to the discussion about how we let go and trust God in the face of our pain and turmoil as follow:

“Yes, MNO (member name omitted). And glad you’re here too! As long as we think we have to hold the reins, we’re not trusting God’s reign. And I can assure you that once you REALLY give everything to Him, you will wonder why it took you so long. But the bottom line is KNOWING what His word says and that we CAN rely on it. And, as we’ve discussed before, and as MNO put so well above, it’s all about things we can’t see or prove. If we can see it or prove it in the natural realm, where’s the faith? Faith is believing what there is no rational reason to believe…believing in confidence what there is no evidence to support. And that could be tougher for some than others, especially those who have more analytical minds…and believe it or not I’m often accused of being too analytical! And I USED to be!”

“Glorifying Jesus Christ is at the heart of everything God does, and there just isn’t any glory for Jesus in divorce, broken homes, damaged children and adulterous relationships and marriages. So instead of wondering if God will restore our marriages for US, maybe we need to start asking if He will do it for Jesus!”

“MNO, the only way we can keep Satan from destroying us through the power of our thoughts and emotions is to take them captive and make them obedient to Christ and the word of God. I suggest reading Philippians 4 every day, maybe even several times a day and staying VERY focused on putting ALL of it into practice. Do you listen to praise and worship music? Are you going to a local church? These are very important to you as a Christian…to help you grow in your walk and relationship with the Lord. HE DOES COMMAND US TO MAKE HIM FIRST. And the sin all of us are guilty of is not keeping HIM first. We made our spouses and marriages the priority of our lives, and
God can not and will not bless and reward that. He desires to be the first priority in your life. Do you think about Him even half as much as your wife, and do you desire a closer relationship with him MORE than you desire the restoration of your marriage? I once heard it put this way…when we get our house in right order with God, everything else in our homes and lives will be in right order. God really got my attention and made me change my focus when I studied The Purpose Driven Life, so I’d strongly suggest getting that and reading it. That’s what it took to lead my husband to the Lord in the end, so I know it has power.”

“MNO, what it ALL boils down to is a very personal and intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, because you CAN NOT trust Him without that. And what we’re all saying is that through these circumstances and trials we were brought into that kind of relationship with Him. It’s one thing to know OF God and a totally different thing to KNOW God! And the only way to trust God and KNOW that His plans for you are for good and not for evil is to KNOW Him, and that means you have felt and experienced
His love and goodness; that you realized that without the shed blood of HIS BELOVED SON, you were a sinner doomed to hell; but He loved you enough to send His son to die for you so your sin debt was paid in full and to give you victory over the wickedness of this world. So when you’ve asked Him to come into your heart and to be Lord of your life, everything changes, and when we do that, that is where the peace and joy comes from; that’s why we have the strength to let it go and know that we can trust a loving Father. You can’t trust God without first KNOWING his love and goodness. And I’ve often found in this ministry that women could not trust the Lord to restore their marriages because they had never truly trusted Him for their salvation. That’s the first step, and sometimes people find themselves in a crisis situation and that step gets skipped over, so it’s necessary to revisit it. Because if you can’t find a place of peace and joy in the midst of this turmoil, there’s a disconnect with the Holy Spirit OR you’re just not being still enough to hear from Him. So let’s talk about this more on the phone…okay? The good news is that God is drawing you and HE WILL HAVE HIS WAY WITH YOU, and that can only be very good news indeed, because the best is yet to come, and you WILL have the peace you so long for!
Dear Lord, in the name of your precious son, Jesus, we thank you for giving MNO the peace and faith he so longs for. Amen.”

Then yesterday, one of the members who had left the chat room Friday night before the discussion turned to letting go, shared the following testimony on the men’s private site in hopes of providing encouragement for the member who was asking for help. And since I thought it was so powerful, because I know many visitors to the site will be able to relate to it, I asked for Dan’s permission to share it here, which I thank him for giving. So here’s the word of Dan’s testimony about how he overcame the inevitable struggle to let go and learn to trust God:

“ I have been on my journey of marriage restoration for almost 14 months now. I made many mistakes and suffered more than I thought humanly possible. I truly wish that I could help you avoid the pain but the suffering seems to be necessary in order for God to get us where He wants us to be. I hope sharing my experience it will give you encouragement and faith in God to not just stand for your marriage, but to also do it with the peace and joy God wants you to have while waiting for His timing.

It is difficult for me to prioritize the importance of the pieces of wisdom that I have gained over the past 14 months. Maybe they can’t be separated; they are all intertwined for a reason.
I know that I have done everything humanly possible to save my marriage; at least I thought I had. The one thing I needed to do and didn’t until I was completely broken was to give it all to God. I had to say yes and mean yes in finally letting God have it all. I had faith and I knew God wanted to heal and restore my marriage; I just had to really believe that I was worthy of such a thing. Satan was using me to prolong giving it all to God – because Satan knows the end result!!
You must know that God hates divorce and He will not bless divorce and will not break the covenant of our marriages. He will not let our prayers and faith go without notice. He has plans for us to prosper and nothing is impossible for God; you have to have faith in that, know that the Word tells us that and to actually BELIEVE it is going to happen. He is a God who healed the sick, raised the dead, parted the seas, and moved mountains. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. That means He is performing miracles today…NOW, and we don’t have to wait. The supernatural is there for us just as it was for Moses, Elisha, David, Lazarus, and on and on. He loves us just as much.

The most difficult part of my stand has been to not look at my circumstances; my wife telling me she has fallen out of love, her changing jobs and moving 6 hours away, appearing that she has never been happier and nor had more fun, and most of all, replacing me as the man in her life. I can feel the hurt oozing up in me as I write this, but it doesn’t consume me any more because I know God has a victory party planned down the road and He is waiting to receive the glory and honor for His work. I know we will be a powerful witness to others and I can’t wait to share our testimony as so many others have in encouraging me.

Having said all of that, the road has been long and weary. On May 1, 2006 I hit bottom. I had no one to turn to but God, and I was a pretty spiritual person before all this began. I had shed more tears in two months than I had in my previous 49 years. I was down to 130 pounds, missed 25 days of work in 4 months and had written letters to my boys telling them that I loved them and good-bye. I had taken too much medication and really didn’t care. Until – at the completion of writing to my kids the Holy Spirit washed over me and in a Dr. Phil type way said, “What are you thinking?” I was thinking of myself and absolutely no one else! I had refused to let God take my burdens, and even though I knew what His Word said, I had to actually believe He would do all those things for me, an unworthy sinner. I ended up on a psychiatric ward, which I must say was a humbling but wonderful experience. And I am still on medication, which I believe is okay with God for now.

The good news is that God meets us where we are; I didn’t have to clean up…I just had to invite God to take over in a situation that I could do nothing about. I could not change my wife and I couldn’t change myself without God. I had to ask God to reveal my own weaknesses and what He wanted to change in me and then let Him work to bring those changes about. I had to hand it all over to Him. That was when I received relief – joy and peace knowing that God could do what I wanted to do and don’t have the power to do. I have learned so much about myself in letting God reveal things to me, which was pretty scary at first.

The more I prayed, read the Word, became involved in Bible studies, spent more time worshipping at church, sang and listened to praise songs, and surrounded myself with Godly people – the more peace and joy God gave me. I have had fantastic support from my ministers in my stand for the healing and restoration of our marriage. And they have given me cell phone numbers and made time for me whenever I needed to talk. So many people have blessed me and there was less and less opportunity for Satan to attack.

I guess my point is that there is definitely a purpose in the process! It isn’t to see how much pain and suffering we can handle but to get us to the point of surrendering in our brokenness to the only one that can deliver us; our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Now, all that being said, I can’t tell you that every day is a picnic and joyous occasion for me! I long for my wife and I pray every day that she would call and tell me that she loves me and is coming home. And I have to pray every day for God to fill the voids of loneliness, companionship and intimacy. The difference is I know now that God is working even if I can’t see things happening. I do know He has changed me and I would not for go the past 14 months and give up my spiritual growth and the intimate relationship I have with God today. Had my wife come home in the first few months, I am not sure that I would not have compromised that relationship. God continues to encourage me to stand for the covenant of my marriage, and Satan has become less of an influence in my stand as I grow in my obedience to Christ.

I pray for and with you in confidence that God will heal and restore our marriages and families and I thank Him for giving us strength and for leading us through the process with His grace and mercy showered upon us. Trust and obey, for there is no other way.
May the Holy Spirit bless you as you believe in His Word and that His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. I hope I have given you some peace!

Love and blessings.
Dan”

And the following is the reply I posted on the men’s fellowship site:
“Dan, thank you so much for sharing the word of your testimony! It’s clear how the Lord has worked through it just as He does with all of us when we come to the place of realizing what He wants us to realize, which is that without Him we are nothing and we can do nothing! I remember how shocked I was the first time I read that God’s name is Jealous, because that means a lot more than just saying that He is a jealous God, and it explains why having no other gods before me is the first commandment. Of course, Jesus later paraphrased that to say we’re to love God with ALL our hearts, minds, soul and strength. And the Word even says that if we seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness, THEN HE WILL give us EVERYTHING else! And since the Word also tells us that God has the power to bring His Word to pass, that it does not return void and that it accomplishes what HE desires, we can see why we some times have to experience the depths of despair as you did.

And, even though I don’t share it often, I have to admit that I’ve been there too. I actually sat on the floor in front of a nightstand where my husband kept a loaded gun, with the gun in my lap…I can’t honestly say that I had made the decision to kill myself at that moment, but I was certainly considering it as I sat there crying totally broken hearted. I couldn’t bear my husband’s coldness and apparent indifference, and I couldn’t understand how it was even possible for someone to change so drastically. And I had given up EVERYTHING for my marriage! I had given up my home, the only means of independently supporting myself through something I had worked years to establish, and my job, because my husband was also my boss. And EVERYBODY had tried to tell me to slow down! BUT as I sat there, the phone (which just happened to be on the same nightstand) rang and I got a grip on my emotions. And there were many other rough moments, but I did eventually turn back to the Lord for the comfort and peace I so desperately longed for. And I wouldn’t change ANY of it today, because I am who I am today because of it and I’m doing what I’m doing today, because of it. And just as Genesis 50:20 says, what others and Satan meant for evil, God has turned to something for His glory and the good of many other people! In fact, I was able to send my husband a letter this past New Year’s Day in which I told him one of the most unexpected things that happened somewhere along the way this past year was how God changed loving him from what used to seem like a terrible burden I had to bear into what I treasure now as an incredible blessing to share! And that happened ONLY through the power of God and a God given desire and willingness to help others who had experienced the same thing…and most of all to help keep them from making so many of the same mistakes I made. And if it were NOT for EVERYTHING I went through and the things the Lord taught me in the process, there would be no FAM Ministries today. And, like you Dan, I realize that if God had answered many of my prayers along the way, I wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing today. And NOTHING would be worth that! … I am fully satisfied with my life and look forward to every day with new anticipation and expectation, because I see His hand at work in so many situations around me, and nothing is more exciting or rewarding than that. And you’re right, sharing these testimonies with others who are now where we were, is very important to encourage them and give them hope. But this is the first time I’ve shared this part of my testimony, so thanks for leading me to do that by the awesome example you set, which is what we all should do according to 2 Corinthians 1:3-5, as shared above.

MNO, I had a conversation Saturday with a woman who is very much where you are; she just can’t let go and trust God to do what she knows she can not do, and what she keeps making a mess of because she keeps trying to do anyway. And the Lord really surprised me with a question He put in my mind. He told me to ask her if she knew for a fact that she could have either a close walk and relationship with the Lord or the marriage of her dreams with her husband, and it was guaranteed, but she could only choose one; which would it be? (She had been asking why the Lord isn’t answering her prayers when she is doing everything she’s supposed to do…even though she really isn’t, because she will NOT let go.) As sad as it was to hear her honest answer, that was probably a transforming moment in her life and the first step to the restoration of her marriage, because I think the answer shocked even her, because she said if she was honest, she would choose her husband! Of course, that was the answer to why God can not and will not work to restore her marriage; she was putting it before Him and had made an idol of her husband and marriage, and now the restoration of it. It’s a good thing God reminds us that HIS thoughts are so much higher and different from ours, because we certainly can’t understand how letting go of something we want works when that’s the exact opposite of what we want! But that is what His word tells us to do, and until we’re able to trust Him enough to take Him at His word, we are not likely to experience the things we’re standing and praying for. We can’t stand on the promises of God without standing on the Word of God, and that’s where the faith comes in! But thanks to your willingness to open up about how you’re struggling, MNO, a LOT of men and women are praying for you, and I have no doubt you WILL feel the power of those prayers in ways you can’t even imagine right now. God promises us that if we seek, we’ll find and if we knock, the door will be opened to us, so just keep seeking the answers and keeping your mind and heart open to hear from the Lord, and you will not be disappointed! Remember, in Jeremiah 33:3 He tells us that if we call out to Him, He will hear us and He will answer us and show us great and mighty things we do not know…BUT WE HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT!

Dear Lord, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the wonderful work I see you doing through this ministry, which I know pleases you too! How awesome it is to see someone in pain and distress able to reach out to others who respond with love and compassion and such a genuine desire to help and give comfort. And that’s exactly what you tell us to do as Christians. So I thank you for MNO’s willingness to lay his emotions bare before us; that he felt comfortable enough to do so; a humbling experience which you WILL bless and reward: and for the wonderful response of other fellowship members, especially the way Dan chose to share his awesome testimony and experience. And I thank you for the peace and comfort I know you want to give to MNO in his time of distress, so I ask you to tear down all walls of resistance and to break up the ground of his heart so he can hear you when you pour your heart out to him and make your thoughts known to him. And I thank you that through the power of the Holy Spirit you will give Him the mustard seed of faith he needs to put ALL of his hope and confidence in you. Surround him with your love and goodness, Lord, and overwhelm him with your grace, mercy and glory! I ask these things in the most powerful name of Jesus as I give Him ALL praise, honor and glory! Amen.”

By sharing so much of the above testimonies, I truly hope that anyone in a place of so much pain and despair that it seems impossible to go on, will see that with time and by continually turning to God, you will not only survive, but come out of the trial much stronger and better. And I doubt very seriously that it was by coincidence that I received an email message today that included the following:

“Malachi 3:3 says: “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.”
This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.
That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn’t mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver.
As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.
The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: “He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.” She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined.
The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.
The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, “How do you know when the silver is fully refined?” He smiled at her and answered, “Oh, that’s easy — when I see my image in it.”

So once again we’ve witnessed God’s awesome and totally amazing power and faithfulness to confirm the messages He intends to deliver! And I pray that anyone who is feeling the intense heat of the refiner’s fire, will be comforted to know that Luke 3:16 says “John answered them all, “I baptize you with water. But one more powerful than I will come, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and with fire.” So instead of feeling defeated and discouraged because of the heat, I hope you’ll keep your eyes upon Jesus so you can be purified, strengthened, blessed, and encouraged as you’re transformed to reflect the image of Christ!

Long before I even knew marriage restoration ministries existed, there was NO doubt in my mind that a woman would gladly submit to a man who loved her as Christ loves the church. But thinking about that now, it’s amusing to realize how right I was, despite having almost no understanding of what it really meant! So in honor of the first five men who are now FAM Fellowship members, I’m pleased to dedicate the first Seeds of Faith post for men to gaining a better understanding of what God means when He tells men to love their wives as Christ loves the church! And just as it sounds, that’s a pretty tall order!

Earlier today one of the fellowship members requested prayer for the Holy Spirit to be with him before, during and after the times he communicates with his wife, so he won’t experience so much anxiety about communicating with her, because he’s so afraid of not saying the right thing or of saying the wrong thing. And he shared how he’s always waiting to hear words of encouragement from his wife, but it never happens, and he wants to overcome those feelings of anxiety and experience peace. And I’m sure most men standing for marriage restoration feel the same way, and it’s really no wonder since they probably don’t understand much about what the Bible teaches concerning their role as husbands. And while it might not seem that significant, the best way to start hearing words of encouragement from your wives is to focus SOLELY on speaking words of praise, blessings and encouragement to them instead of waiting to hear them yourself.

Just as women standing for marriage restoration have to learn the importance of a quiet and gentle spirit, and submitting to their husbands, while demonstrating unconditional respect and honor; men need to understand that the best way to help turn their wives’ hearts back to them is to pray and speak blessings, praise and encouragement into their lives. In 1 Peter 3, husbands are instructed “…be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of
life”…and it goes on to say that if they don’t, their prayers will be hindered! So God must be pretty serious about that! And then it says “…live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic…be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” And there aren’t many women who won’t be drawn to sympathetic and compassionate men. So it’s important for men standing for marriage restoration to seek ways to demonstrate genuine sympathy and compassion for their wives. You have to start LOOKING for the opportunities, because when you do, I promise you the Lord WILL provide them. And if it’s necessary, start praying for the Lord to create opportunities for you to demonstrate these traits to your wives.

And as men standing for the restoration of your marriages, you have to really study and rely on Ephesians 5:25-33 to understand what the Lord instructs you to do as husbands, because it says:
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church—for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

Wow! The Lord just gave me an awesome insight as I read that again for at least the twentieth or thirtieth time! God actually expects a husband to wash away (or cleanse) his wife’s sin by covering it with the power of His living Word, in the same way the Lord no longer sees our sin because it’s covered with the blood of Christ. So when it’s difficult for a husband to see anything but his wife’s mistakes and sin, past or present, he’s obviously not relying on the power of God’s Word or covering her with love, because 1 Peter 4:8 says “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” I think that’s what the Lord means when he tells a husband to love his wife as Christ loves the church, because it’s through the blood of Christ, which He shed for us in the most sacrificial act known to man as a demonstration of His love, that we’re presented to HIM as “a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish.” “And we’re all probably familiar with 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 which spells out that kind of love a lot more definitively, because it says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.“ And when a man loves his wife that way, she would obviously be cleansed through the power of the Word! And just as with us, that does NOT mean she is blameless or sinless; it just means that she is MADE blameless and sinless through the power of her husband’s sacrificial love. But most of us have to admit that we don’t love that way. And since Proverbs 19:22 tells us that unfailing love is what every man (and woman) desires, we need to pray for the Lord to teach us to love our spouses in accordance with His word.

And another interesting insight I just had when reading that again, is that the most common explanation I’ve heard from women who leave their husbands or get involved with other men, is that their husbands’ didn’t pay them any attention; that he was too busy with work; that he didn’t have time for her; that he was not interested in her; that he was too involved watching TV or playing computer games, etc.. Yet, the Lord tells a man to leave his mother and father to be united with his wife, and become one flesh with her, which means that God’s plan was for a man’s wife to be a priority in his life. Obviously that indicates that she is to be treasured, cherished, cared for and nurtured; not ignored and taken for granted as so many women tend to feel. So perhaps the best way to understand what wives need from their husbands is to consider what we all need and expect from the Lord, or what the Bible tells us we can rely on Him for. The first thing has to be fellowship, which explains why so many women are discontent in their marriages. The next thing is probably protection and provision, and feeling safe and secure is certainly a priority to most women, which includes emotionally as well as physically. And we all want to be blessed by the Lord, and there’s no doubt that women thrive when they receive the blessings and praises of their husbands. And then another vitally important aspect of our relationship with the Lord is our ability to have absolute trust and confidence in Him, so reliability and trustworthiness is also very important to women.

As difficult as women often find it to do what the Lord asks of us, there’s no doubt that He places a great burden of responsibility on husbands, especially since they’re the ones He very specifically commands to love their wives sacrificially and unconditionally just as Christ loves the church. And blessed are the women whose husbands understand that, because one of the greatest blessings for any woman is to be able to genuinely admire and respect her husband as she submits to him in EVERYTHING as unto the Lord! And since Isaiah 54 tells women without husbands very specifically what they can expect from GOD as their husband, there’s obviously a lot men can learn from it about being a godly husband. So perhaps some of the ladies could read it and respond to it and the other passages of scripture above, and share with the men how and why we might respond well when our husbands put these instructions into practice. Hopefully sharing our different perspectives as men and women with each other in terms of our godly roles as husbands and wives will be a great source of blessing and encouragement as we learn how to stand more effectively for the restoration of our marriages, and even more importantly how to be godly husbands and wives WHEN our marriages ARE restored! So be blessed and encouraged!

Since Satan has been working overtime to attack some of the FAM Fellowship members with condemnation lately, this seems like a very good time to expose its source and destroy its power, because as Christians, condemnation has NO place in our lives! And we KNOW that, because Romans 8:1-2 says Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. And any time we see something like “therefore”, it’s important to see what came before it, because that’s what the “therefore” refers to. And Romans 7:25 says Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. But most of us are probably a lot more familiar with how the inevitable battle between our spirit and flesh is described in Matthew 26:41 (NKJV), which says Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Obviously Paul, who wrote so much of the New Testament, struggled with sin, which he made no bones about in many of his writings. Yet, he said there was NO condemnation for his sin, because of Jesus Christ, in whom there is NO condemnation. And he explained that even more explicitly in Romans 5:15-16, which says But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! Again, the gift of God is not like the result of the one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. And then Romans 5:18 says Consequently, just as the result of one trespass was condemnation for all men, so also the result of one act of righteousness was justification that brings life for all men.

So Satan absolutely loves it when we beat ourselves up because it’s so difficult to bring our flesh under the control of our spirit. But the GOOD NEWS is that 1 John 1:7-9 says But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. And John 6:63 even says The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. So through the Word, we CAN overcome the sin in our lives, and through the blood of Christ we are cleansed from all unrighteousness.

One of the most difficult challenges when first ministering to someone standing for marriage restoration is getting them to stop looking at their spouse’s sin long enough to examine their own mistakes and sin. But then, just as soon as that happens, Satan comes rushing in with condemnation by filling them with so much guilt and shame that they find it hard to believe God would ever restore their marriages! Yet that’s a lie straight from the pit of hell, and totally contrary to the Word of God, especially John 8:31-32, which says To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” But just as with any other kind of bondage, Satan uses condemnation to keep us from being the witnesses God intends us to be for the praise, honor and glory of Jesus Christ. And if Satan can hinder that process by tormenting us with so much guilt and shame that our lives don’t bear witness to the miraculous peace and joy found through the power of the Holy Spirit, he wins; because our lives won’t glorify Jesus as described in 1 Peter 2:9, which says But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

And Ephesians 1 makes it very clear that EVERYTHING that happens in our lives is in FULL accordance with God’s predestined plan and that it will happen according to HIS time table and not ours, AND that it will ALL be for the praise and glory of Jesus Christ. So that means that even our sins and mistakes WILL be used for the glory of our Lord and Savior. And we find an amazing and very descriptive revelation of how that works by reading Isaiah 55, especially verses 6-13, which say:
Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon. “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands. Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow. This will be for the LORD’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”
Obviously that flies in the face of believing that God won’t restore our marriages because of our past sins! In fact, it makes it pretty clear that when we repent and refrain from our wicked ways and evil thoughts, and turn to the Lord; SOLELY TO BRING GLORY TO JESUS CHRIST, God will have mercy on us and freely pardon us, AND then actually cause us to reap something TOTALLY different than what we sowed! And He even told us we might as well NOT even try to make sense of that, because His thoughts and His ways are so much higher than ours…BUT HIS WORD NEVER RETURNS VOID! So anyone struggling with condemnation that leads to doubting the Lord will back up His own Word, particularly Malachi 2:13-17, which HE said WILL accomplish what HE desires, should read Isaiah 55 every day if necessary until Satan’s lies are overcome and hurled down when we claim it as the “word of our testimony”! And reading Jesus’ awesome promise in John 15:7-8 should help make us a lot more interested and serious about studying our Bibles, because He said If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. So CONTINUALLY AND CONSISTENTLY studying God’s word is how we overcome the condemnation Satan hopes will discourage us and destroy our faith and confidence in the Lord to restore our marriages and families. And according to Jesus, that’s the one sure way to have our prayers answered! Now there’s NO way to understand that without being very blessed and encouraged! BUT…IF you need more, just remember Romans 8:28 promises that the Lord will cause ALL things to work together for our good when we love Him and when we are living our lives in accordance with His will and word! And that “ALL” means past, present and future, good bad or indifferent…EVERYTHING, just like Ephesians 1 says! And God WILL do it all for the praise, honor and glory of His beloved Son, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

One of the most unexpected and surprising observations I’ve made as the result of many conversations with women standing for marriage restoration, is their reaction when they finally overcome the sense of desperation that once threatened to destroy them, and experience peace and joy for the first time in a long time. And the most amazing thing about it is that it’s something we ALL experienced soon after finding the very peace and joy Jesus came to give us! After the initial flood of relief that rushes over us, there seems to be an inevitable sense of guilt, or even fear that we’ve stopped loving our spouses, and that God is not pleased with us! Yet every one of us have probably heard 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NKJV) at some time or another, which says But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such
cases. But God has called us to peace. So why is it that when we FINALLY reach that God glorifying place of letting our spouses depart and living in peace, instead of recognizing the awesome work of God in our lives and hearts, we feel guilty and totally forget the part about not being under bondage? There’s only one answer, and that’s SATAN! He can’t stand it when our lives reflect the power and glory of Jesus Christ and when the world sees us living in peace and joy in the midst of our marital storms! He can’t stand it when our friends, families and co-workers see the miraculous transformation that takes place in our hearts and demeanor as we put our faith and confidence in the Lord and go about our lives with genuine peace and joy! Why? Because that is exactly what draws people out of his kingdom of darkness into God’s glorious and wonderful kingdom of light, confirming 1 Peter 2:9, which says But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. So for Satan, it’s a fight for the hearts, minds, souls, lives and eternal destination of the countless number of people who will be touched by seeing the peace we have found through knowing and experiencing the love and power of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, including our spouses and children! That’s why I’m so distressed by how that particular verse is terribly misrepresented and perverted by Christian leaders today. Because believing and teaching that God tells us to let our spouses go and move on with our lives, only serves to further Satan’s plan to kill and destroy the marriages God said NO man should put asunder! And it
denies the kingdom of God the power and glory of restored marriage testimonies, which Satan wants to prevent, because he knows they will be used to overcome him and hurl him down, based on Revelation 12:10-11, which says Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. So when we reach that place of peace and joy Jesus came to give us, we should rejoice and praise the Lord and glorify His name by refusing to let Satan steal what our precious Savior paid such a dear price to give us!

And I strongly suspect this is another “just for someone” post today, because even though I saw programs I really liked this morning; when it came time to write my post for the day, I had a TOTALLY blank mind/screen! And it’s very unusual for me to make it to the afternoon without a pretty good idea of what I’m writing about, but that was not the case today. If I didn’t know how the Lord works, I might have been concerned, but I was sure the Lord would reveal it in time, even though it looked like He was waiting to the very last minute! And since I didn’t have a post to work on yet, I took advantage of the “free” time and decided to finish reading Judy Rousseau’s message from yesterday, which she sent out late and which I didn’t get a chance to finish because of interruptions. And when I read her response to a question from one of the “partners”, I thought “That would be a very good topic for a post…especially since it ties into conversations I’ve had with some of the fellowship members over the past few days.” Then I took several phone calls and answered a couple of emails that required responses, and just before settling down to write my post, which I already had pretty well set in my mind, I checked the private sites to see if anything needed my attention. So imagine my surprise and delight when a member had JUST shared something in “Heart To Heart” about the exact same topic I had in mind! The only reason I share these details is so someone knows and is encouraged by the lengths the Lord has gone to just to speak to them in their time of need!

I believe sharing the following messages help illustrate how Satan can turn our stand for marriage restoration into a snare of bondage if we let him, and the best ways to avoid that. So here’s Judy Rousseau’s message from yesterday.

“Here’s another Frequently Asked Question sent in by one of our partners:
Did you think about your spouse/situation constantly or were you able to pray and then completely leave it alone?

I did think of Paul and the situation I was in frequently. However I found that when my husband and my circumstances were my focus, I lost my sense of peace and joy and got caught up in worry and anxiety. There were times that I had to make a conscious CHOICE to keep my mind and thoughts STAYED ON THE LORD, taking every thought captive to His Word and will. I also found it helpful to get out and be with people. Occasionally those people were people who had needs that I could minister comfort and love to. Other times those precious souls set a place at their family table for me and just kinda took me in.

My prayers were varied, at times they were intense, fervent and desperate and other times merely a “Lord please just continue the good work You have begun.” Much of my prayer time was spent quoting and claiming the promises I found in scripture over my life. Because the Lord had spoken very clearly to me about bringing me through to GREAT VICTORY, I was able to let go of much of my fear and anxiety. His grace
was truly upon me and I know that I never would have made it through that time without His hand constantly leading me.”

If you would like to receive Judy’s daily (Monday-Friday) messages of encouragement, please send a message to hope4marriages-subscribe@associate.com and reply to the server notice to confirm your subscription. Hope for Hurting Marriages is a ministry of encouragement for men and women who are praying for the restoration of their marriages and families.

And here’s the message shared on the ladies private fellowship website this afternoon:

“(name omitted), I had to respond to a statement you made in a response to my prayer request this past Sunday, 1/21. In your responding post you said, “I have an almost “I don’t care” feeling, because God is working. And God is being the husband that I need at this very moment.” I thought I was going to do a happy dance, because I too have had and am still having that same “I don’t care” feeling. It is very liberating. It’s not that I don’t love my husband. I do. And I desire him to repent and be restored to the Lord first, and to return home to his wife and kids. But, right now… I don’t care as much. It’s not a priority. For a minute I thought something was wrong with me because I wasn’t “upset” and “fretting” over my situation, and I thought am I the only one who feels this way? I’m so accustomed to those emotions, and now I have the greatest sense of peace and joy! It is amazing. I do my best to keep my mind on Jesus and not my husband. God has been my husband for the past several months. He has covered, protected, provided, guided, and sustained me in ways unimaginable. He has met my every need. I tell you, when my husband comes home, he’s got a big pair of shoes to fill (lol).
Yes, God is my husband for this season and I love him and thank Him.
Glad to know I’m not alone out here….
Love you (name omitted) and I’m standing and praying right along with you.
(name omitted) in Virginia”

And here’s the response I posted on the private site:

“ME TOO! And I know for a fact several of the other ladies feel the exact same way! One of the ladies I talked to this past weekend said that she had felt guilty, because she wasn’t feeling so burdened for the restoration of her marriage and wasn’t praying for her husband the same way she had been…with the same urgency…so she started making herself do it again. And then she was depressed and lost the sense of peace she had finally found! Well, as I told her, that couldn’t be of the Lord! We never stop praying for our husbands or standing for the restoration of our marriages, but we can not allow that to consume our lives. I think that’s what it means to let them go; that we’re not under BONDAGE; and that we’re called to live in peace. So Satan can even turn our burden to pray into bondage and use it to steal the peace we find by RESTING AND TRUSTING in the Lord! God wants us to put all of our focus on Him, and when it is necessary, He WILL give us the burden we need to pray for our husbands beyond the prayers we should always be praying for them, which is for the power of the Holy Spirit to move in their heart and circumstances to draw them into right relationship with the Lord and to restore our marriages…for the glory of the Lord! And I think we should remember to pray for the Lord to send angels to guard and protect them, and to guide and direct them. And there may be other particular prayers the Lord puts on each of our hearts, but I do NOT believe He means for us to lose our peace, HIS PEACE, because of the burden we have to pray for our husbands and to stand for the restoration of our marriages. We’re to live our lives in such a way that those who ARE watching just can’t believe what the Lord is doing in us and for us. They should want exactly what we have, and no one will want discouragement, desperation and depression! They want the righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, which Jesus told us the kingdom of God is really all about! Excellent topic, (name omitted)! Thanks! In fact, I might make this the topic for my SOF post today, since I know it is such a common experience for many of the women I talk to!”

So there’s nothing wrong with experiencing the peace and joy that comes only when we truly trust and rely on our Lord and Savior. In fact, I’m pretty sure that’s what God meant in Psalm 46:10, when He told us “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” And we should find a great deal of comfort, peace and reassurance in the promise found in Proverbs 21:30, which says There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the LORD. So we should never let Satan steal the peace and victory we have in Jesus, by making our faithful obedience to stand for the restoration of our marriages cause us to live in bondage of any kind. Remember that Jesus came to set the captives free, not to put us under bondage, so be blessed and encouraged, and make the most of the peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, which is the abundant life He came to give us.

The following was posted on the ladies’ FAM Fellowship website yesterday, and I thought it was something that would encourage others, so I thank Jenn for graciously giving me permission to share it here too! Be blessed and encouraged!

“While running an errand today for my husband, I was being attacked with negative thoughts in my head of recent happenings replaying over and over. Just as my thoughts were really starting to get to me, I drove past a church that I had driven by earlier and had not noticed their sign out front. However, God wanted me to see that sign at that particular moment. The sign said “Facing the giants in your Promised Land”. I immediately thanked God and just started smiling.
Then tonight as I took a break from trying to help my spouse in whatever he needed, I picked up my bible and opened it to the index to see what God was trying to tell me earlier. Being I am a relatively new Christian, I didn’t even know Giants were even mentioned in the bible. God led me to Deuteronomy 1:28-34.
Det 1:28 tells us that the outlook according to some looked bleak in the land that God wanted the people of Israel to occupy. 10 of the 12 that were sent into the land even said they saw giants. Doesn’t that sound so familiar to us today, especially with family and friends telling us how bleak our stand for the restoration of our marriages look? And in my case, that’s what my negative thoughts were making it look like today. Our giants today are our prodigal spouses, our unruly children, our problems and issues in other areas of our lives. We all have one or more giants to face. But just as God told the Israelites, he is telling us in verse 29 and 30″ not to be afraid that the Lord your God is going before you. He will fight for you”.
For some of us verse 31 will really minister to us. It did for me. God’s love for us is so great that he cared for us while we were in the wilderness. AGAIN AND AGAIN… He brought me out of the wilderness; I know he will bring out my husband as well.
When I was driving this afternoon, God used that sign to bring me back to reality. Before I even knew it, God used that sign to tell me that he heard me complaining and was becoming very angry. He tells us in verse 34 that he hears our complaining. He used that sign on the side of the road to shut me up and remind me of my Promised Land and to know that Yes, I have a giant to face, But I need to carry on, quit complaining and trust him.”

Perhaps the most difficult natural instinct we have to overcome as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is our tendency to respond to the difficulties and challenges we face with either flight or fight. But neither reaction allows the Lord to be glorified in our lives, much less in the restoration of our marriages and families. Yet, our natural self-defense mechanisms and pride tend to make either flight or fight our first reaction, which is why we have to take those thoughts and impulses captive, making them obedient to the Lord and His word for the victory we want. And one way to do that is to ALWAYS keep 1 Peter 5:6-7 in mind, because it tells us Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. And as one of the FAM Fellowship members reminded us last night on the private site, we have to remember and rely on the awesome promise in Isaiah 26:3, which says You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. And Joshua 1:9 tells us Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

All this past week, we’ve been blessed with similar messages on all of our favorite programs about the power of God’s word when it’s sown in our hearts and when we speak it aloud in faith, and the absolute necessity of trusting God no matter what. And Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast message this morning was one of the best I’ve ever heard about trusting the Lord and relying on Him for vindication when we’re going through difficult times or when we’ve been wronged by others. And she makes the same point several of our members have reminded us of in the last few days, which is that we go through the things we do for others; for the restoration and deliverance of our loved ones; and for our children and others who are watching us. Some times we have to suffer through difficult times for the glory of the Lord and for the benefit and furtherance of His kingdom, because that IS what we signed on for when we accepted the name of Christ. But that’s not popular doctrine and it’s certainly not preached or taught very often. And that’s why so many of us were caught totally off guard and unprepared when all hell broke loose in our homes and marriages. Joyce uses a lot of powerful scripture references and makes some very profound points, so be prepared to take notes as you listen to A Trusting Attitude - Part II. And you might want to listen to A Trusting Attitude - Part I too.

Then Creflo Dollar’s TV broadcast message this morning is a perfect compliment to Joyce’s, because he even covers some of the same passages of scripture and confirms topics covered on the site earlier this week, such as the power of speaking God’s word out loud and relying on angels for protection and deliverance as they work to accomplish God’s will and purpose. That’s confirmed in Psalm 103:20 (NKJV), which says Bless the LORD, you His angels, Who excel in strength, who do His word, Heeding the voice of His word. And the amazing power of angels to guard and protect us is confirmed in Psalm 91:9-16, which says If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.” And what an AWESOME example we find of exactly how that works in Acts 12:4-11! So here’s Creflo Dollar’s message, How to Get Angels to Work for You, which will be very helpful as we strive to be more steadfast about putting our trust in the Lord and relying on the power of His angels to protect, defend and deliver us! So be blessed and encouraged!

Lately the Lord has really impressed upon me the need to be much more reliant on the power of the Holy Spirit as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, especially when we’re standing for the deliverance of our spouses from the snare of adultery. And unfortunately, that is the case for the vast majority of the FAM Fellowship members, as it probably is for most other visitors to the site.

In a recent conversation with a woman struggling to understand the hold the NCP has on her husband (a pastor at the time his adultery began ), the Lord brought it to my mind that the hold and captive nature of sin is exactly why we refer to it as a trap or snare. And when we think about it in those terms, it really does shed a different light on it. For those of us who are not (and maybe never have been) caught up in the bondage of sin, we just can’t relate to it, and we tend to think our spouses should be able to see what they’re doing and just stop doing it! But if we really stop and think about it, we’d realize that’s not possible. The Bible always uses descriptive words very purposefully, so we need to start thinking of sin, especially sexual sin, just like the Bible describes it; as a trap or snare; a form of bondage or captivity. And Ecclesiastes 7:26 provides a very powerful illustration of that, because it says I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare. And, as we know, when an animal is caught in a trap or snare, it is NOT possible for them to escape. There’s nothing they can do to set themselves free. So why should we think our spouses can set themselves free of the trap and snare Satan intended to kill, steal and destroy them. And to dispel any doubt anyone might have about Satan’s intentions, Proverbs 2:18-19 says this about the adulteress; For her house leads down to death and her paths to the spirits of the dead. None who go to her return or attain the paths of life.

So our spouses’ deliverance from the trap and bondage of adultery is a matter of life and death. And just as it was with our deliverance and salvation from sin when we were saved, relying on the name and blood of Jesus is what it will take to deliver our spouses from the sin and consequences of adultery. And since no one comes to Jesus without being drawn by the power of the Holy Spirit, we need to be a lot more focused on praying for the power of the Holy Spirit to move in their lives and hearts. John 6:44 confirms that, because it says “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him, and I will raise him up at the last day. And we know god’s speaks to us through the power of the Holy Spirit, based on John 14:26, which says But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. So I hope this will help all of us recognize our need to be a lot more focused on the power of the Holy Spirit as we pray for our spouses to experience the conviction and repentance necessary to set them free from the sin that now holds them in captivity. And the following verses are just a few to help remind us that sin and death is overcome only through the power of the word and blood of Jesus Christ:

Romans 8:1-2
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.

Hebrews 9:15
For this reason Christ is the mediator of a new covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance—now that he has died as a ransom to set them free from the sins committed under the first covenant.

Revelation 1:6
To him who loves us and has freed us from our sins by his blood, and has made us to be a kingdom and priests to serve his God and Father—to him be glory and power for ever and ever! Amen.

Hebrews 2:14-15
Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.

Hebrews 1:3
The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven.

As so often happens, despite reading it MANY times before, I was totally blown away when I read that last verse again tonight! Surely those of us standing in faith and obedience to the word of God for the restoration of our marriages CAN’T fail to understand and acknowledge the awesome importance and meaning of “sustaining all things by his powerful word”! Just think about that…and you’ll HAVE to be blessed and encouraged!

Despite knowing that the Lord was dealing with me concerning my failure to share some of the incredible testimonies He’s given me over the past few months, I resisted doing so for what seem to be good and honorable reasons, but there’s no such thing as a good reason to resist God. I even mentioned it in a recent post, saying that the Lord had nailed me about not sharing my testimony as I should. And even though my reasons might “sound” good, they don’t justify disobedience. But being ever so patient and ever so faithful, God continued to speak to me about it and finally drove the point home a bit more forcefully in the past few days, which I believe is why I’ve experience the return of chronic health issues for the first time in a LONG time. Well, He definitely got my attention, so I wisely decided to step out of my comfort zone and do what I know God wants me to do. And in His infinite faithfulness, He provided a perfect opportunity to share the testimonies I’m about to share. In fact, in light of how well this all ties in together, I now see that this is probably exactly how the Lord had it planned all along! For instance, I intended to write this yesterday and share it with yesterday’s message from Andrew Wommack as confirmation of what he’s teaching. But then what I wrote yesterday seemed more pressing, so I put it off until today. And so true to how God ALWAYS works, Andrew’s messages from today and tomorrow are even better, because they really make the point of how we experience the transforming power of God as never before when we really get into His word! So I suggest watching his TV broadcast from January 17, 2007 and January 18, 2007 before reading the rest of this post. They’re messages from the series he’s doing this month called “A Sure Foundation”, which is about how vitally important it is for us to study and understand the word of God and the supernatural power it releases into our lives. And those of you who know me best, know a series like this is right up my alley, so I encourage you to listen to the rest of the messages in this series as well, which you can do at his website, where they are archived.

Generally speaking, I tend to be very uncomfortable with anything that focuses much attention on me, and I have to admit that I may be overly conscientious about that because of how I’ve seen others in ministry let it become a problem. But the Lord has shown me that even good things can be taken to extremes, which is what I did, and that’s so contrary to the very verses He gave me as the basis for the formation of this ministry! The devil is very sneaky and cunning, and his clever plan and purpose make total sense in light of Revelation 12:10-12, which says:
Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say: “Now have come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God, and the authority of his Christ. For the accuser of our brothers, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been hurled down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Therefore rejoice, you heavens and you who dwell in them! But woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short.”

So having been appropriately convicted that it may well be pride that kept me from sharing these awesome testimonies of literal miracles (because they probably sound too incredible to believe), I share them now solely for the purpose of bringing glory to God and to testify about HIS infinite faithfulness to fulfill every single word and promise found in the Bible, His inspired word! The things I’ve experienced are in no way a credit to me other than my devotion to studying God’s word and coming to the unmistakable conclusion that I can rely on every word and promise from God with absolute faith and confidence that He WILL bring them to pass! And since I’ve never experienced amazing and supernatural things like this before in my life, I know it’s absolute confirmation of what Andrew Wommack teaches in the two above messages, which are based on Mark4:1-20.

I actually shared the first miracle I experienced with the ladies on the private fellowship site immediately by posting the following praise report on October 9, 2006:
Good Morning Everyone! I’m so excited; it’s hard to contain. For the first time ever, I had a prayer answered INSTANTLY, and when it was, I have to confess I was shocked!
I was working in my yard yesterday for the first time in a while, when I felt something on my leg. It wasn’t moving or anything, so it didn’t occur to me that it was a bug (don’t forget, I can’t see), so I reached down to pick it up…but it WAS a bug or something and it bit or stung my leg and my finger. Within a minute or so, the pain on my leg was very intense and then it started to spread rapidly. I’m always getting bitten or stung by something when I’m working in the yard, but I hadn’t ever had anything quite like this, and as I was considering that, I remembered some pretty bad stories I had heard about people getting bitten by a brown recluse, and I wondered if that’s what it was. Well, I knew I didn’t need to deal with that, so I simply said out loud “Jesus, please help me and protect me.” That was all…no big deal. But the pain went away IMMEDIATELY and I couldn’t believe it! Then when I came into the house later and checked it out, there was just a funky little mark on my leg and it was a little sore to the touch, but this morning there’s no sign of it! Maybe that doesn’t seem like a big deal to anyone else, but it was a miracle to me, because that pain was pretty intense and it was spreading very fast! Thank you, Lord, and I give You ALL praise, honor and glory! And I didn’t even ask for it to go away immediately. I just didn’t want to end up in the hospital and to have some of the horrible things happen to me I had heard of happening to others…but God is just so awesome, and I think He wanted to remind me that He DOES listen and He DOES answer our prayers, and sometimes it’s even INSTANTLY!
And just as an extra note of encouragement, I started praying for the Lord to improve the level of communication with my husband a few weeks ago, and he’s done that too! I’ve talked to my husband twice in the past week and a half, after not talking to him for 14 months, and he actually initiated email totally on his own for the first time in 10 months, and now we’re communicating much more than we have in a long time. So don’t give up, ladies, and DON’T stop praying! God is faithful to answer prayers. Little did I know that was just the beginning of many other awesome miracles to come. And even though I won’t be sharing everything I’ve seen the Lord do, I’ll share the ones I hope will be the most encouraging to others.

Unfortunately, one of the things I’m not good about doing, even though it is something I strongly encourage everyone to do, is keeping a journal. And I really wish I were a lot better about that, because I know there’s a lot of detail I’ll never be able to remember, such as the date I prayed a very simple and heart felt prayer. But I know it was about two and a half months ago. I’ve bitten my nails just about all of my life, and during the two years that I didn’t, I still mutilated my cuticles. So my hands have always looked terrible as a result. Then one day when they were really in bad shape, I just said to the Lord that He knew what a terrible witness that was, and that I really wanted to quit, but that nothing I had done seemed to work, so I needed Him to help me quit biting my nails and picking at my cuticles. I don’t think I even put an amen on it…it was just a heart to heart with the Lord. And I didn’t think about it after that, and I don’t know when it happened…if it was right away or in a matter of time. But a few weeks ago I noticed a rough cuticle, and instead of picking at it or biting at it, I just got an Emory board out and smoothed it out and then put some cuticle cream on it. Well I was pretty impressed with myself, especially when I did it again later that night. And then the next day, I did the same thing, and I remember thinking “You’ve really quit biting your nails!” And that’s when the Lord brought the conversation I had with Him about it to my mind! Then I felt bad for not remembering and giving Him thanks for answering my prayer! That may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but anyone who has struggled to stop biting their fingernails will understand why I consider it a miracle!

Then the next miracle is a BIGGIE! I hadn’t been attending my home church for quite awhile for a variety of reasons, but we recently got a new pastor so I went back to check him out. I was very impressed, because he really preaches and teaches the word, and that’s a must for me. So I got right back into the hang of things at church, which for me includes “Cottage Prayer” meetings on Monday nights. At the first meeting I learned that my new pastor had some very serious back problems that debilitate him at times and that he was having a lot of test done to find out what the problem was. But much to my dismay, I also learned that he was what I considered quite deficient in the faith department! And I was REALLY put on the spot, because I’m known for being a pretty serious prayer warrior, and the leader of the group (who is also my Sunday School teacher and one of the deacons) and I have a very interesting history of praying for a major healing miracle In his life, which the Lord brought to pass, so he told the pastor not to be surprised if I had him sit in a chair in the middle of the room so we could all lay hands on him and pray for healing! Talk about being embarrassed; I was embarrassed, because I don’t do that unless I feel led by the Holy Spirit to do it, and I wasn’t feeling the slightest inkling to do so that night! And I didn’t feel so led for the next couple of weeks either, which was starting to bother me, so I asked the Lord about it, but got no reply. I figured it was because he didn’t believe the Lord would heal him. I think he felt that this was his thorn to bear, like Paul, and that the Lord wouldn’t heal him because of that. Apparently this had been a problem for many years, because he had surgery about six years ago and it didn’t really help that much. Well, much to my surprise, in the middle of a Wednesday night service, the Lord gave me the burden to pray for him. So after the service, I asked if I could pray for him, which he agreed to and appreciated, of course. A friend of mine was with me that night because she was considering playing the piano for us. So after church, she and the pastor went back to his office to talk. Then she came and asked me to join them. We talked for awhile and then we had a time of prayer; when I prayed for his healing again, feeling an even stronger burden about it then. And then we sat and visited a little longer. Then one of the strangest things I’ve ever had happen to me happened! Mind you, this was the FIRST time I had spent ANY time with a new pastor… Yet, out of absolutely nowhere, and definitely not of my own volition, I pointed at him and said “You are healed.” I was shocked and mortified! I couldn’t believe those words just came out of my mouth! And even though my friend has known me to do some pretty unusual “stuff”, I think she was just as shocked! Then when she was bringing me home, she told me she didn’t think he believed the Lord would heal him, so I wasn’t the only one who noticed that. Well, I just told the Lord that I was sorry; that I didn’t know what made me do that; that I knew the man didn’t believe He would heal him. So I guess I had really put Him on the spot! Then on Sunday I asked my pastor how his back was and he said it was “okay”…so I told him to start paying more attention to it, because it was healed. So again I was wondering where in the world that came from! There are a lot more interesting details, because it took a little time for it to sink in, but the bottom line is that my pastor’s back was healed instantly the night the Lord told me it was! Yes, I finally figured out (only after we realized that he was healed), that it was the Lord that made me do that, and not the devil as I had been tempted to think!!! Needless to say, that’s quite a miracle and my poor pastor is still having a hard time believing it! He tells me now it wasn’t that he didn’t believe the Lord COULD heal him; he just wasn’t sure the Lord WANTED to heal him!

Then my next miracle was almost two weeks ago. I have two elderly little Chihuahuas, fourteen and fifteen years old. Crystal was actually born the day after I moved out in accordance with our separation agreement, a little over fifteen years ago, and I got her when she was about eight weeks old. So she’s been through a LOT with me and she’s always been very healthy, but has slowly declined over the past three or four months and even lost her hearing. She had gotten to the point of hiding under the desk most of the time, which I think was because that’s where she felt safe since she couldn’t hear. But I’d always get her and take her to bed with me and Sabrina (the other little one). But that particular night she woke me up in the middle of the night, because she was throwing up. She was very weak, seemed to be having a hard time breathing and her body temperature had dropped. And when she refused to eat her breakfast for the first time ever, I knew she was VERY sick. So as soon as it was late enough to call, I made arrangements for a friend to take me to the vet’s, but we couldn’t go for several hours and I wasn’t sure she’d make it that long. So I did the only thing I knew to do and I laid hands on her and prayed for the Lord to heal her. I said I knew there wasn’t really anything in His word that said He would heal her, but He knew how much I loved her, so I hoped He would, because I knew He could. And then I told Him that if He wasn’t going to heal her, to please not let her suffer, and then I reminded Him that I couldn’t afford the vet bills. Then out of nowhere I got the idea to see if she would eat some peanut butter off my finger, and she did! That was very encouraging, and it wasn’t long before she got up and drank some water and kept it down. She drank water a few more times and kept it down, so I called my friend to say I wanted to wait to see what happened, and confessed that I had laid hands on her! To make the story short, the dog is fully recovered, just kept steadily improving from that time on, and now she acts like a puppy again AND SHE CAN HEAR!!! I told you this stuff would be hard to believe!

Well, there’s one more…a lot less significant, but certainly proof that God hears our prayers and that He takes great care to orchestrate the necessary events to bring about the answers! At our church wide prayer meeting last Wednesday night, my Sunday School teacher particularly asked me to pray for one of the women on the prayer list, so I asked for a little more information about her. And then I asked for her phone number, but someone said we should make sure it was okay with her first, which was certainly understandable. Apparently she has fibromyalgia among other ailments, and battles depression, and the Lord really put a burden for her on my heart (it’s hard to explain, but I don’t always feel what I call a “burden” to pray for people or situations, which I think is just the Holy Spirit prompting me). So over the next few days she’d come to my mind and I’d pray for her, and then Saturday the Lord brought her to my thoughts again and I was concerned about meeting her. Obviously, I couldn’t be used to minister to her without meeting her, and they had said she didn’t get out of the house much. So I just simply asked the Lord to create the circumstances where I could meet her if He meant for me to minister to her. And that was all. The next morning, my friend decided not to go to Sunday School, and I almost didn’t go either, but felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to call and get another ride, which I did. After class was under way, a lady with the same name as the one I was praying for came in late, and the teacher seemed excited to see her, so I wondered if that could be her. But there wasn’t any way to know and I had heard conversations recently about another woman with the same first name. Then after church, my friend and I were going to eat at a buffet and I invited some friends to come with us, but they said they were meeting someone else for lunch at another restaurant. So we decided to go there too. When we got there (we ended up being late, because my friend had to talk to someone about the music), about twenty people from church were there, and I ended up sitting across from a lady I didn’t know. Not being able to see, it took me awhile to figure out that it was the same lady who came in late to Sunday School and who was in fact the woman I had been praying for! So I was sort of sitting there like the cat who had swallowed the canary, but I couldn’t figure out how to get the conversation around to what I wanted to talk about…so I just asked the Lord to help! And I kid you not, a couple arrived late, who were visiting from another church, and sat down next to us…the husband next to the woman across from me and the wife next to me. And the husband was a very friendly sort of guy and started asking a hundred questions, bringing the conversation right to where I was hoping it would go! In the end she ended up mentioning she was on disability and I was able to ask why, and that led me to say I’d like to pray for her later if that was okay with her. I told her I really believed in the power of prayer and showed her my nails as proof. Then she said that she believed in prayer too and that that morning all she was praying for was to be able to get to Sunday School. And that’s when the Lord prompted me to tell her everything about how I had been asked to pray for her and how I had prayed for the Lord to give me an opportunity to meet her, and here we were sitting across from each other at lunch! She was pretty impressed needless to say, and as I was getting ready to leave, she said she definitely wanted me to have her phone number! And now we’re planning to get together for lunch or something soon!

I know this was long and I’ve included a lot of minute details, but they’re important to help show just how detail oriented God is when it comes to answering our prayers! And it’s not possible to experience miracles like these without realizing just how much God cares for us and that He manages and orchestrates every detail of our lives! But none of this started happening in my life with such regularity until AFTER I started spending a great deal of time studying God’s word. It’s just like Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, and now Andrew Wommack, have been teaching all this week, the word of God has to be sown in our hearts before we can reap its promises and blessings. I have a quiet and confident trust and faith in God that I didn’t have before I started studying the Bible so seriously, and just as with salvation, after experiencing something so amazing, we can’t help wanting everyone else to experience it too. So that’s why it’s so important to make a serious commitment to doing whatever it takes to study and get a better understanding of God’s word, and that has to come from reading if for yourself, and not from what I or anyone else tells you it says. Nothing compares to the feeling of hearing from God through the power of His word, which is why I include so much scripture in everything I write. It’s God’s word that has the power, not mine or anyone else’s, so I pray for everyone reading this to be filled with a hunger and passion to read and study it for themselves. When you do, you’ll really know what it means to be blessed and encouraged!

How awesome it would be if we all truly understood that what we say IS what we get, because that is one of the most powerful kingdom principles at work as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. Yet, it is also one we probably ignore and abuse most frequently and egregiously, bringing a lot of disappointment and frustration into our lives as we stand for marriage restoration. So once again, I’m totally blown away by the Lord’s amazing power of confirmation, because the topic of so many of the TV broadcasts I normally watch every morning (both yesterday and today) have been about the relationship between the word of God and our faith, and how important it is to SPEAK the faith we profess to have in our hearts.. But the relationship between the words we speak and what is in our hearts is something we should already be aware of, because Luke 6:45 says The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.

The importance of SPEAKING the things we profess to believe and what we’re standing for in faith and obedience to God’s word, or even the power of saying it out loud, or praying with the word of God in general, certainly is not an unusual topic for Seeds Of Faith. But this morning Dr. Creflo Dollar brought a verse to my attention that I’ve probably heard or read several times before, but it never hit home or had the impact it did this morning. And I doubt very seriously it’s possible for anyone standing for marriage restoration to miss the importance and significance of the following passage of scripture, especially if we’re prone to grumbling and complaining, or expressing dissatisfaction with what we think God is or isn’t doing or questioning how long He’s taking to do it. So PLEASE very carefully read and meditate On Numbers 14:26-38, which says:
26 The LORD said to Moses and Aaron:
27 “How long will this wicked community grumble against me? I have heard the complaints of these grumbling Israelites.
28 So tell them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things I heard you say:
29 In this desert your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me.
30 Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun.
31 As for your children that you said would be taken as plunder, I will bring them in to enjoy the land you have rejected.
32 But you—your bodies will fall in this desert.
33 Your children will be shepherds here for forty years, suffering for your unfaithfulness, until the last of your bodies lies in the desert.
34 For forty years—one year for each of the forty days you explored the land—you will suffer for your sins and know what it is like to have me against you.’
35 I, the LORD, have spoken, and I will surely do these things to this whole wicked community, which has banded together against me. They will meet their end in this desert; here they will die.”
36 So the men Moses had sent to explore the land, who returned and made the whole community grumble against him by spreading a bad report about it-
37 these men responsible for spreading the bad report about the land were struck down and died of a plague before the LORD.
38 Of the men who went to explore the land, only Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh survived.
And that’s because they were the only ones who came back with good reports, demonstrating their faith and confidence in the promises the Lord had already given! But we need to read verses 28-30 again, because they say So tell them, ‘As surely as I live, declares the LORD, I will do to you the very things I heard you say: In this desert your bodies will fall—every one of you twenty years old or more who was counted in the census and who has grumbled against me. Not one of you will enter the land I swore with uplifted hand to make your home, except Caleb son of Jephunneh and Joshua son of Nun. Obviously, we need to sit up and take serious notice of this scripture, because it leaves NO doubt that our lack of faith in the Lord’s word and promises, or that the grumbling and complaining our doubt leads to, can literally cause Him NOT to perform the very thing He promised to deliver! And THAT should get our attention! And we can’t ignore or disregard the fact that their lack of faith caused them and their children (his chosen people whom He loved so much) to wander, languish and die in the desert for forty years; one year for every day the spies explored the Promised Land, only to come back with bad reports that led the rest of the people to murmur and complain, and lose faith and confidence in the Lord, despite having seen Him perform so many miracles on their behalf! So IF we’re serious about marriage restoration, it would be a very good idea to examine ourselves, and our attitudes and the words we speak, to see how much like the Israelites we are, because we certainly don’t want the same end results! And it’s not a stretch to apply this passage of scripture to the words we speak as we stand for the restoration of our marriages either, especially since we know God is the same yesterday, today and forever.

Dr. Dollar’s message this morning was awesome and makes an excellent point of how what we say is exactly what we’re going to get. And even though this particular message was about living long lives, there’s so much of it that can be very particularly applied to standing for marriage restoration. And as he talked about water and sugar, I couldn’t help thinking of the water being the same as studying and meditating on the word of God, and sugar being the same as our inability to resist giving voice to our doubt and disbelief. So be prepared to take notes as you listen to Requirements for Long Life (Part 2).

But there is good news, because instead of allowing our words of disbelief, murmuring and complaining to cause the loss of the very thing we want and stand for, we can access and release the power of God to bring about the restoration of our marriages by speaking the words of faith we profess to believe, and Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcasts from yesterday and today can help us understand that so much better. So be prepared to take good notes for these messages too, as you listen to Faith - Part I and Faith - Part II , with Pastor Mark Hankins. There’s an awful LOT to learn in these messages, including the number one hindrance we all have to overcome as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, so I know you’re going to be blessed and encouraged!

Last Friday night FAM Fellowship members participated in our first “FAM Chat”, and despite the short notice, I was very pleased with the participation we had for the first time, and discovered several ways to make it easier and a lot more efficient to manage as the moderator. So we’re really looking forward to the blessings it will provide for all of us in the future, especially how it will enable us to get to know each other better and to share our insight and experience with each other for support and encouragement.

Since our topic was about overcoming discouragement, the conversation was very interesting, and the feedback from members who weren’t able to participate Friday night has been very positive. And one unexpected benefit for me personally is the material some of the interesting and thought provoking comments or questions from the FAM Fellowship members will provide for my SOF posts, such as today!

Since REALLY believing God WILL restore our marriages is a HUGE hurdle and obstacle for a lot of men and women standing for marriage restoration, I was particularly struck by the following response, because it may well explain why so many people struggle with it so much:

“You know, you say this over and over and over again in all of your posts- and again, you made it abundantly clear in your post from 1/11… it all comes down to TRUST. But when you read about all of the problems in the world, kids being abused, kidnapped and murdered, folks dying of all sorts of excruciating diseases. you just wonder why would God even think that the restoration of my marriage is so important relative to everything else…I guess when we box God down to our level of thinking and rationalization (satan’s playground). that’s when we start to question, and weaken, our trust in Him.. I believe you called it “stinkin thinkin”…”

That’s obviously a member who knows me pretty well, and in many ways answered the question himself. Because most of our problems usually are the result of relying on our own very limited understanding, which is EXACTLY what God tells us over and over again NOT to do! So there’s no need to address that aspect of the question, because we already know that when we’re doing something contrary to what the Lord tells us to do, we can’t expect to experience the fullness of His blessings, provision or protection, and we can’t necessarily rely on His supernatural power to work on our behalf for the restoration of our marriages.

However one of the greatest assurances we have that God cares about seemingly insignificant things in comparison to all of the serious issues and problems all around us comes from Matthew 10:29, which says Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. And Psalm 55:22 says Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall. Then 1 Peter 5:7 says Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. So the Lord tells us to cast ALL OF OUR CARES AND ANXIETIES ON HIM, and understanding and believing that in light of everything else we know concerns God gives an even deeper meaning to the preceding verse, because 1 Peter 5:6 says Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. And it’s not possible to consider the great majesty of God and all that concerns Him, without being humbled by the realization that He cares so much about us that HE orchestrates and controls ALL things concerning us. But that’s what Romans 8:28 tells us, because it promises that God will cause EVERYTHING that happens to us, ALL THINGS we care about or are concerned with, to work together for our good if we just love Him and live our lives in accordance with His will and word. And it’s difficult to find a better passage of scripture to remind us of God’s awesome majesty and all that concerns Him, and all that He does, than Job 36-42. Fortunately few of us have experienced, or ever will experience all that Job went through, but we’d all love to have a similar happy ending! So when Satan does his best to convince us that God doesn’t care about the restoration of our marriages or ANYTHING else that concerns us, we should read the above passage of scripture, and remember the great wisdom found in Song of Solomon 2:15, which says Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Since “little foxes” (little things) can ruin and destroy vineyards that are already in bloom, the “little things” have to be important to God, especially when we know it’s Satan who comes to kill, steal and destroy. And one of the saddest things that time and experience in marriage restoration ministry continues to reveal is how it is so often the very smallest of things that prevent, and even destroy all hope for marriage restoration, even when it was already in bloom. And most of the time, the root of those “little foxes” can be traced right back to PRIDE, which is why it’s so important for us to fully understand and rely on 1 Peter 5:6-7, which altogether says Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. So remember that the next time Satan plants seeds of doubt, those destructive little foxes, in your mind about how much God cares for you and the restoration of your marriage and family. HE CARES FOR YOU; He’s looking out for you and He’s looking after you; HE’S ALMIGHTY GOD; and He HATES divorce, so be blessed and encouraged!

Since I’ve had very positive responses from the FAM Fellowship members I’ve discussed it with so far, I’d like to try something new on the FAM website tonight. The plan is to start hosting “FAM Chat” every Friday night (day and time are flexible, so please give me your feedback on that), maybe beginning around 9:00p.m. EST, which will be a time for FAM Fellowship members to communicate with each other in “real time”…right here on the public site. I’ll be asking members to suggest topics of interest, and then I’ll choose the topic from those submitted, write a short blurb on it, and post it as a password protected page here in Seeds of Faith. And the password will be posted on the private fellowship sites (both men and women) on the “News and Information” page. That means that ONLY FAM Fellowship members can participate, and the “chat” is not visible to anyone but fellowship members. Some of the other details we can discuss are whether or not we want to archive the FAM Chat pages (without password protection on the men’s and ladies’ fellowship sites) or delete them. There are quite a few options for something like this, and since tonight’s chat comes without much notice, we’ll make it a time to discuss some of the options and decide exactly how we want it to work. SO, I hope to see a lot of the fellowship members here tonight! And IF I get some good suggestions for a topic soon enough, after discussing how we want “FAM Chat” to work, we’ll move onto one of them.

After I post it, FAM Fellowship members can get the password from the fellowship sites (at the top of the “News and Information”) page, and then click on the link to “Seeds of Faith” that will be right below the password. Then click on the “FAM Chat” link at the top of the page, where you’ll be asked to enter the password. And then you can read the “blurb” and post responses (if you’re not already registered on the public site, it will ask you to register as a user). I’ll be moderating the “chat”, so your comments will be posted immediately, allowing members to “chat” back and forth in real time. I’ll include a link to email me about any problems, and my phone number, on the password protected page, so we should be able to work out any “kinks”. I’m really looking forward to this, and hope it will give all of us a chance to get to know each other much better, and be blessed and encouraged by each other!

As Christians, a very serious and important passage of scripture we fail to pay enough attention to is Deuteronomy 30:19-20, because it says This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Yet, many Christians don’t seem to realize that we ARE choosing either life or death, blessings or curses every day of our lives. And sadly, way too many of us are NOT choosing life and blessings, because we don’t understand what that means. Unfortunately, we are incorrectly taught in many churches today that “abundant life” comes automatically just because we say a prayer, AND THAT IS NOT TRUE! In fact, most of us have probably heard this passage of scripture many times before, or it’s more familiar paraphrase, which is “I set before you life and death choose life.” But we RARELY hear the preceding verses, 15-18, which say See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess. But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess. And verse 10 leaves NO doubt that we “choose” life, prosperity and blessings if we obey the LORD our God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the LORD our God with all our heart and with all our soul. And even though a lot of preachers and teachers say we don’t have to worry about these passages, because we now live by grace and not by the law, in Matthew 5:18, Jesus said I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. And that doesn’t happen until the END of the book…NOT in the middle as some would have us believe! And it certainly ignores and disregards Romans 6:14-16, which says For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace. What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? So God’s grace obviously does NOT give us a license to sin. In fact, it’s ONLY by the grace and power of God that we’re able to avoid sin, which is the exact opposite of the perverted meaning of grace taught in many Christian circles today. And Romans 6 1-6 , with the heading “Dead to Sin, Alive in Christ“, makes it VERY clear we’re not allowed to continue in sin just because of grace, because it says What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life. If we have been united with him like this in his death, we will certainly also be united with him in his resurrection. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin.—because anyone who has died has been freed from sin. That’s why Luke 9:23 says Then he said to them all: “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.

Fortunately, Deuteronomy 30:11-14 tells us very specifically HOW to “choose” life, because it says Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, “Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, “Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it. And then in Matthew 4:4, Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’ “ So there’s no way to get around it, the choice we make to be blessed and have the “abundant” life Jesus came to give us, life that overcomes the devil’s intentions to kill, steal and destroy us, our marriages and our families, is made when we spend the time it takes to KEEP the word of God in our mouths and in our hearts. And when we don’t do that, we choose death and destruction instead, because Hosea 4:6 says my people are destroyed from lack of knowledge. “Because you have rejected knowledge, I also reject you as my priests; because you have ignored the law of your God, I also will ignore your children. And that should be MORE than enough to get the attention of all mothers and fathers! So as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, let’s choose life and blessings by making a renewed commitment to seriously read and study our Bibles, because then we WILL Be BLESSED and encouraged!

And we will find that IS the key to Keeping God First - Part I, as Joyce Meyer taught in her message today. And here’s Keeping God First - Part II.

One of the neatest and most exciting experiences for us as Christians is hearing what we know is a specific message to us from the Lord; just like yesterday’s awesome Small Straws message from Marsha Burns was for me. So I was very excited when I received the following “Coffee Break devotional by Lorraine Ezell from one of the FAM Fellowship members this morning, because I felt immediately that it WAS a special message for someone in particular. But before I share the Coffee Break devotional, I want to share a scenario I often share with FAM Fellowship members. However, it’s very important to stop reading long enough to answer the questions BEFORE reading on.

What would you do if you walked into a room and found a loved one unconscious on the floor? After you make sure they’re alive, what’s the first thing you would do? If you’re like most of us, you would probably call 911 to request an ambulance and paramedics. Then you would most likely go back to your loved one and try to give mouth to mouth resuscitation or CPR, or just hold them and try to keep them warm and comfortable. And then when the paramedics arrive on the scene, what’s the FIRST thing you would do? This is where it gets interesting, so think about what you’d do…try to imagine the scenario and think of what your natural instinct would be when help arrives on the scene. More than likely, you would move out of the way, and if you don’t the paramedics would certainly ask you to. And most likely, without any hesitation you would, because you’d want them to save your loved one and you wouldn’t want to get in the way. By now, you’re probably starting to get the point of this scenario. Why is it that when we encounter an emergency situation in our marriages and have to place a 911 call to God, we REFUSE to get out of His way? Why is it that we think God needs our help…that our marriages just can’t be restored UNLESS WE DO SOMETHING? Why is it easier to trust total strangers in an emergency situation than it is to trust our own beloved Lord and Savior; our creator who holds ALL things in the control of His ALMIGHTY hand; our God who loves us so much that He sent HIS loved one to die a terrible death on the cross for us; whose plans for us are for good and not for evil? That’s why it’s SO important for us to truly understand God’s command in 1 Corinthians 7:15-16, which says that when our spouse wants to leave (and ANY spouse that abandons God’s plan for marriage as a one flesh, life long, covenant IS an unbeliever), we are to LET THEM GO…and live in peace!

As I read this devotional this morning, I couldn’t help remembering John 14:27, which says Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. And then Matthew 11:28, which says “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. And then the following verses tell us exactly what we need to remember and rely on as we stand for the restoration of our marriages:

Psalm 62:1
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.

Psalm 62:5
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

Then the reference to the mess Sarah and Abraham made of things when they took matters into their own hands, instead of letting God do things HIS way, reminded me of the above 911 scenario and how we ALWAYS mistakenly think God NEEDS our help! BUT He doesn’t…He REALLY doesn’t! In fact, He just wants us to put ALL of our trust and faith in His knowledge, skill and ability, while we stand back and watch HIM work, with total and complete confidence that He’s up to the task at hand…just as we would if paramedics were needed to save our husbands or wives in an emergency medical situation. So let’s all remember that God does NOT need our help; He just needs us to get out of HIS way so HE can work the miracle of marriage restoration as He provides the emergency care our spouses hearts require! So as you read the following devotional provided by About the Master’s Business, I pray that you will receive it and be blessed and encouraged!

“Quit!!”
“Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalms 46:10a
I have a specific word from the Lord for someone this morning… “Be still, and know that I am God!” The Lord says to…”QUIT!” Quit worrying, quit fidgeting, quit trying to solve it yourself. You have been like Philip when Jesus approached him about how to feed the five thousand. Philip tried to reason it out. He didn’t know how it was going to be done because they only had a few cents in the treasury and it would take at least eight months wages to feed them all at least a bite.
The Lord also says…. “Take your hands off!” Take your hands off of the situation; stop trying to make it come to pass. You have been like Sarah and Abraham, unwilling to wait for the Lord to reveal the promise in His due season. Instead, you have tried to devise a way to make it happen sooner because you want it NOW! If you aren’t careful you will wind up with a bigger problem just like Sarah and Abraham did.
The Lord loves you and He is well aware of your situation. He was not blind-sided by it. He saw it coming before you did and He is not wringing His hands, pacing the floor, or chewing His nails over it. He is at peace about it…. so you should be too. He wants you to “be still”– rest! Rest in the fact that He is in control, He knows how to handle it, He knows what to do. He doesn’t want you fretting or sweating about it any longer. You have made yourself sick worrying over it. There is nothing you can do about it yourself. So put your full trust and confidence in Him. He will not leave you, He will not let you down. He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all you can ask or think. So stop focusing on the problem; keep your eyes on the “real” solution… JESUS!
He also said to tell you… HE LOVES YOU! Repent of trying to handle it yourself. Repent of allowing it to do to you what it has. Ask Him to help you to be still. Fall into His arms and let Him love you and give you back the peace that you lost because of this.
Have a great day. Be still… and know that He is God!

Coffee Break is a morning devotional written by Lorraine Ezell, and it’s sent to you free of charge for the asking from About the Master’s Business Ministry, Inc.
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