Since fasting is a very powerful and effective weapon at our disposal as we stand against the gates of hell for the restoration of our marriages, and since many Christians have very little idea of what the Bible actually teaches about a spiritual fast, it’s very important to study so we can understand exactly what we’re doing when we fast. Not only do we need to know what a fast is and how to do it, but we also need to know what it is not, and we especially need to be familiar with and understand the reasons and occasions for fasting as they’re described in the Bible.

Matthew 6:17-18 (AMP) tells us But when you fast, perfume your head and wash your face, So that your fasting may not be noticed by men but by your Father, Who sees in secret; and your Father, Who sees in secret, will reward you in the open. So understanding fasting that pleases God is very important to us, because we certainly want the Lord’s promised reward! And one of the most instructive passages to help us understand fasting that pleases God and the awesome blessings it brings forth is Isaiah 58, which in The Amplified Bible says:
1 CRY ALOUD, spare not. Lift up your voice like a trumpet and declare to My people their transgression and to the house of Jacob their sins!
2 Yet they seek, inquire for, and require Me daily and delight [externally] to know My ways, as [if they were in reality] a nation that did righteousness and forsook not the ordinance of their God. They ask of Me righteous judgments, they delight to draw near to God [in visible ways].
3 Why have we fasted, they say, and You do not see it? Why have we afflicted ourselves, and You take no knowledge [of it]? Behold [O Israel], on the day of your fast [when you should be grieving for your sins], you find profit in your business, and [instead of stopping all work, as the law implies you and your workmen should do] you extort from your hired servants a full amount of labor.
4 [The facts are that] you fast only for strife and debate and to smite with the fist of wickedness. Fasting as you do today will not cause your voice to be heard on high.
5 Is such a fast as yours what I have chosen, a day for a man to humble himself with sorrow in his soul? [Is true fasting merely mechanical?] Is it only to bow down his head like a bulrush and to spread sackcloth and ashes under him [to indicate a condition of heart that he does not have]? Will you call this a fast and an acceptable day to the Lord?
6 [Rather] is not this the fast that I have chosen: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the bands of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and that you break every [enslaving] yoke?
7 Is it not to divide your bread with the hungry and bring the homeless poor into your house–when you see the naked, that you cover him, and that you hide not yourself from [the needs of] your own flesh and blood?
8 Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration and the power of a new life) shall spring forth speedily; your righteousness (your rightness, your justice, and your right relationship with God) shall go before you
[conducting you to peace and prosperity], and the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard.
9 Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and He will say, Here I am. If you take away from your midst yokes of oppression [wherever you find them], the finger pointed in scorn [toward the oppressed or the godly], and every form of false, harsh, unjust, and wicked speaking,
10 And if you pour out that with which you sustain your own life for the hungry and satisfy the need of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in darkness, and your obscurity and gloom become like the noonday.
11 And the Lord shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not.
12 And your ancient ruins shall be rebuilt; you shall raise up the foundations of [buildings that have laid waste for] many generations; and you shall be called Repairer of the Breach, Restorer of Streets to Dwell In.
13 If you turn away your foot from [traveling unduly on] the Sabbath, from doing your own pleasure on My holy day, and call the Sabbath a [spiritual] delight, the holy day of the Lord honorable, and honor Him and it, not going your own way or seeking or finding your own pleasure or speaking with your own [idle] words,
14 Then will you delight yourself in the Lord, and I will make you to ride on the high places of the earth, and I will feed you with the heritage [promised for you] of Jacob your father; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.
Obviously, fasting that pleases God is about a LOT more than not eating or drinking, either completely or partially for a short period of time or a long period of time. Even though that’s a very important aspect of fasting, because it demonstrates to the Lord that we’re so concerned or burdened about something that we’re willing to deny the natural need and desire of our flesh; that we’re willing to set aside a particular time for the purpose of allowing our spirit to dominate our flesh so we can enter into a time of closer communion and relationship with Him. BUT if we don’t have an attitude of humility, a genuine desire to seek the Lord and be obedient, and if we’re not living with consideration, peace, love, and charity toward others, or if we harbor ungodly motives or attitudes of self-righteousness, fasting is in vain. So before starting a fast, it’s important to seriously consider the above passage to make sure we have the right attitude and motivation so we will be blessed with the awesome rewards and blessings fasting for the right reasons and with the right attitude produces. And it’s very important to understand that fasting is ALWAYS accompanied by prayer, because while it’s possible to pray effectively without fasting, it’s not possible to fast effectively without praying.

Some of the scriptural reasons we might be called to fast as we stand for the restoration of our marriages include: grief and mourning, repentance, the need for protection, seeking divine revelation, direction and guidance, supernatural intervention, and overcoming demonic strongholds and forces in matters of spiritual warfare. So reading and studying the passages of scripture at the following links help us gain a more thorough understanding of biblical fasting, its proper use, and what it can accomplish, especially the kind of fasting that might be required as we stand for the restoration of our marriages.

Ezra 8
Ezra 10
Nehemiah 1
Esther 3-7
2 Chronicles 20
Psalm 69:1-20
Psalm 102
Daniel 9-12
Joel 2
Exodus 34
Deuteronomy 9
2 Samuel 12
Matthew 4:1-11
1 Corinthians 7:1-9 (KJV)
Jonah 3
Acts 9:1-19
Matthew 17:17-21 (NKJV)
Mark 9:24-29 (NKJV)
Luke 2:33-39

And a much deeper and thorough study of Biblical Fasting, is available at this link from WayOfLife.org. And for more detailed information about how to fast and what fasting is and is not, this article, Fasting, from NewLife.net, provides a lot of additional interesting information and insight.

Since fasting while standing for marriage restoration appears to be getting more popular, I hope and pray that the information provided in this post will help all of us get a better understanding of what the Bible teaches about it and how to use it most effectively, because it is without a doubt a very powerful tool when used in accordance with what the Bible teaches.. And I’d love to encourage everyone who has personally experienced the power of fasting to share their testimonies to encourage those who haven’t fasted before to do so. Be blessed and encouraged!

The Lord has really impressed upon me lately the importance of being doers of the word and not hearers only, especially if we’re serious about the restoration of our marriages. Because if we don’t “DO” the word of God; if we don’t commit to His way and acknowledge Him in all our ways; if we don’t seek first His righteousness and His kingdom; and if we don’t trust and love Him with all our hearts, minds, souls and strength, what do we have? Nothing. Because we can’t count on the promises in God’s word if we can’t even walk out these basic biblical principles in our daily lives, much less live in accordance with what the Bible teaches us about marriage restoration. That point can’t be made any more forcefully or any more clearly than it is in James 1:22-24, which says Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. Unfortunately, there are a lot of deceived Christians walking around, and even a lot of deceived husbands and wives standing for the restoration of their marriages. Sadly, a lot of men and women standing for marriage restoration read everything they can get their eyes on and sign up to receive every marriage restoration resource known to man, and they can even recite the principles of marriage restoration backwards and forwards, but when it comes to actually DOING them, they don’t even come close! So what good does all of that knowledge do if we can’t put it to good use? Not a bit! Yet James 1:25 tells us But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does. So the best analogy I can think of is something I often tell the women I talk to. I tell them if I offer you a hundred dollar bill, it won’t do you a bit of good until you take it. But even if you take it, it won’t do you a bit of good until you use it by spending it. And that’s the same way it is with the word of God, it won’t do us any good until we learn to use it by spending it through its application in our daily lives. So I pray that ALL of us will start focusing a lot more on how we’re “DOING” the word to make sure we’re not deceived by being hearers only. And I can’t imagine a better testimony demonstrating that than the awesome testimony in tomorrow’s Charlyne Cares of how a mother stood in faith and obedience for the restoration of both of her daughters’ marriages! It just doesn’t get any better than this when it comes to proving the awesome power of simply standing on God’s word, and it should make a believer out of the most skeptical and doubtful among us! It’s long, but worth reading, so be blessed and encouraged, and most of all inspired to follow Jane’s powerful example!

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THE POWER OF A PRAYING PARENT -
“The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
James 5:16
Not everyone who subscribes to Charlyne Cares is an abandoned spouse. Bob and I know of prodigal spouses who read our daily messages. There are counselors and pastors who read these devotionals. The recent eight days of restored marriage testimonies demonstrate the number of people with restored marriages whom we write to each day.
One group of people we seldom mention, but who are close to our hearts, are the parents who are standing for their adult child’s marriage. How we pray that every man or woman who is standing with God for marriage restoration has one parent with the faith to believe for that miracle from God. Only a few days ago, we had a stander tell us her parents were telling her she would never be welcomed in their home if she allowed her prodigal husband to return. That is in sharp contrast to what you will be reading below.
We give standers many suggestions for prayer needs. One we might not mention enough is to pray for your family members to catch the vision that God has given to each stander, so that your family, (or your husband’s family), will not only support your stand, but be
able to rejoice with you when the Lord brings about His miracle of marriage restoration.
Jane, from Canada, first contacted us one year ago regarding her daughter’s marriage. Since then, she has seen God move in the hurting marriage of two family members-all because a mother was standing, and crying out to God. We asked Jane to write her testimony of being a praying parent so that we could share it with
you.
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“I was always a worried parent and spent many a sleepless night trying to solve my family’s problems by myself. Two years ago my life came crashing down. My daughter left her new husband after a few short months of marriage. I remember crying out to the Lord and begging Him to bring my daughter back. One night I was at my
computer and typed in the word “divorce”. The Lord led me to Rejoice Marriage Ministries where I learned about standing for your marriage.
“I had never heard of ’standing’ before. That night the Lord gave me the promise that He would restore my daughter’s marriage. Even though I had His promise, I was still trying to fix things myself and was forever letting doubt enter my heart. I began reading
scriptures and like Charlyne has often said, certain scriptures would just pop out at me.
“Often I would just open my Bible and a scripture would be right there. One of the first scriptures God gave me was Jeremiah 33:2-3, The Promise of Restoration.
“This is what the LORD says, he who made the earth, the LORD who formed it and established it-the LORD is his name: ‘Call to me
and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things
you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:2-3
and another scripture was in Hosea:
“Therefore I will block her path with thornbushes; I will wall her
in so that she cannot find her way. She will chase after her
lovers but not catch them; she will look for them but not find
them. Then she will say, ‘I will go back to my husband as at
first, for then I was better off than now.” Hosea 2:6-7
“Even with these scripture promises, I still had doubt in my heart. I knew God couldn’t work when I was still doubting Him. He gave me two specific promises that were a clear indication to me that God would restore this marriage.
“One promise was in Genesis 8:4 where Noah’s ark landed on Mt. Ararat on the 17th day of the seventh month. This was the same day my daughter and son-in-law were married. The second promise was a silver wedding frame that was delivered to our house accidentally with my daughter and son-in-laws’s wedding date on it. I grew to love spending time with the Lord and looked forward each night to see what scripture God was going to give me next. My faith began to “increase the more I read my Bible.
“One day I went to visit my other daughter and her new husband. My world came crashing down for a second time. I found out that I was now praying for both of my daughters’ marriages. That night I was alone in a motel with only a Gideon Bible to read and no one to talk to but the Lord. It was at my weakest moment that God became very real to me. God showed me people in the Bible that had faith, did not doubt, and in all cases God’s Word did not come back void. He always kept His promise. He told me, “I’ve made a promise, trust Me and let Me do my work. The fight is mine, not yours.”
“Over the months I grew to trust the Lord. He helped me with my doubt problem and taught me more and more about His promises and love. Each night I prayed and began praying scriptures. I would write out scriptures and include my daughters’ names in the scripture. My faith was boosted a short time later when God
restored my youngest daughter’s marriage. I now knew that God would restore both marriages in His timing. This past week God returned my other daughter to her husband after a two year separation. I asked God if He would restore the second marriage before Christmas so I could write a praise report in my Christmas cards. He answered my prayer. Both marriages are now restored.
“I know the power of being a praying parent. Looking back, the key was believing our Lord, praying and not doubting God’s restorative power. If He can part the Red Sea, He can restore marriages and change hearts. Even though this trial was painful, I am grateful to the Lord for allowing me to go through it. I am now closer to Him than I’ve ever been before. Our children’s lives can be changed through prayer. Marriages can be saved and prodigal children brought home. God is able.” (Canada)
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Praise the Lord for He is so faithful to His children who seek His face. I am just praising my Lord as He does answers prayers for His children around the world. I pray that you will get even more convicted to come to know your Lord the way Jane did as she was crying out, seeking her Lord for His divine answers regarding her
two daughters. Separation and divorce affects so many people beyond two spouses. Jane found her hope and faith in her Lord Jesus Christ.
One important principle in Jane’s faithful stand is that she hungered and thirsted for the Word of God daily. She spent time reading and praying to her Heavenly Father. God then was faithful in speaking to her heart through His love letters to His children.
I get so excited when I read of a testimony where a stander has the Word come alive to them. There is nothing like it, when you realize the Lord is speaking to your heart giving you His answers to your heart cries.
“The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God
stands forever.” Isaiah 40:8
I know that there are many more parents who are reading this devotional who have children, teen agers to grown adults, who are far from God. May I share just two scriptures that the Lord gave me when our children were growing up and one of our sons became a prodigal for a period of time. He is now married, serving the Lord and has a beautiful daughter. But as a teenager he rebelled against our rules and refused to go to church. Let these scriptures touch your heart to claim and believe for your own children who are not following and serving their Lord Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord of their life, regardless of their age.
“Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children
from the east and gather you from the west. I will say to the
north, ‘Give them up!’ and to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring my sons from afar and my daughters from the ends of the
earth-everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my
glory, whom I formed and made.” Lead out those who have eyes but
are blind, who have ears but are deaf.” Isaiah 43:5-8
“This is what the LORD says-he who made you, who formed you in the
womb, and who will help you: Do not be afraid, O Jacob, my
servant, Jeshurun, whom I have chosen. For I will pour water on
the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out
my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.
They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by
flowing streams. One will say, ‘I belong to the LORD ‘; another
will call himself by the name of Jacob; still another will write
on his hand, ‘The LORD’s,’ and will take the name Israel.”
Isaiah 43:2-5
“Thank You Lord, for Your precious promises and the Word of God. Thank You for touching our children and spouses’ hearts. You are an awesome mighty God! In Jesus Name I pray. Amen.”
God bless,
Charlyne Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.®
Post Office Box 10548
Pompano Beach, FL 33061 USA
Ministry
Bookstore
A BOBSERVATION -
Jane’s story especially touched me because of where Charlyne and I live today. Our three children grew up knowing that their Mom was a woman of prayer. She did not give up when things got rough, but she persevered in prayer. These are the same three kids who did without things, who ate macaroni and cheese meal after meal, because I had walked out on our family. These same three children saw Charlyne depend on God for everything, and they saw Him provide, time and time again. They grew up knowing their Mom’s prayers reached God.
Today our three children are adults, with spouses and children of their own. Nevertheless, several times a week one or all of our children will call with a prayer request for their mother to pray over. Just like your children will have, they have health issues, job problems, financial concerns, decisions to make, in-laws with health problems, and so much more. Many times when we receive one of those, “Is Mom there?” phone calls that I know will be a prayer request, I thank God that our children had the opportunity to grow up knowing their mother had become a woman of prayer. I wonder where our children would be taking their needs today, if Charlyne had decided, on her own and in error, that our marriage problems were too big for God to handle. Our children saw God answer prayers, right in their own home, in response to their mother’s prayers. Now we have the added joy of grandchildren who are learning, from their parents, and from us, to take their needs to God, because He answers prayer.
Twenty years from now, what will the spiritual temperature in your family be? Will people close to you be looking back, remembering how God restored a marriage, or will your prodigal spouse have fallen into the background. If you follow everyone’s advice to, “Get on with your life,” it is doubtful that your relatives will be looking to you as a person of prayer.
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There’s help and support waiting for you in the Stop Divorce Christian Bookstore
- - - - -
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quoted by permission and are from
the Holy Bible; New International Version® Copyright© 1973, 1978,
1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan
Publishing House. All rights reserved.

This is just a quick post to give praise and honor to our most awesome Lord and Savior and to thank Him for His ever lasting faithfulness! I received a message from one of the FAM members this morning saying that her husband had very unexpectedly moved back home the day before Thanksgiving! He just came home without any notice or explanations and she’s been wise enough not to ask any questions; when he’s ready, he’ll tell her. But in the meanwhile, she really needs our prayers as she does her best to walk out the principles of marriage restoration all the time now instead of just those times when she would see her husband, and she says the devil is already on the attack, but she has been able to resist and remain quiet and loving! And this is another testimony we all need to pay very close attention to, because not many days before moving home, her husband had been telling her he didn’t love her and he just wanted to be happy and he didn’t think he could be happy with her! She had absolutely no warning and certainly had no idea he was coming home, so we ALWAYS need to be prepared for the unexpected and never forget that God does indeed act SUDDENLY!

And perhaps everyone else will be as blessed as I was by Small Straws from Marsha Burns yesterday, which says:
November 27, 2006: In a vision I saw six angels flying low above a road. They were
in a similar “v” formation to that of geese. They had long flowing robes of white,
and each blew a long, silver trumpet. I sensed that this was a very joyful occasion,
and on the road was a lone individual walking on the road and leaping and dancing
and praising God because the way has been opened with God’s angels leading the way.
As I watched this journeyman expressing his joy, there were people coming out of
the forest from both sides of the road to join him in praise. These people had been
hidden in the obscurity of the forest, but were now coming out into the open because
they knew that way had been made for their long-awaited promises to be fulfilled.
Soon I saw an entire company of people leaping and dancing and praising God for His
goodness.
You can read Small Straws each week day at this link, or you can sign up to receive it by email each day.

Be blessed and encouraged! And NEVER give up on God and ALL of the miraculous things that ARE possible with Him, because He will NEVER disappoint you or let you down!

One of the saddest and most frustrating things continued time and experience in marriage restoration ministry reveals, is that the greatest obstacle to marriage restoration is without a doubt the inability or unwillingness to forgive, because the ones who struggle and suffer the most are those who find it so difficult to let go of the terrible sense of betrayal, and the pain and anger long enough to experience the healing miracle of restoration God ALWAYS wants to work in our hearts and in our marriages and families. I sure wish I understood or knew how to explain what makes it SO difficult for some of us to let go of the negative emotions and energy, and release all of the pain and disappointment to our loving Father in heaven, who has so much more to replace it with if we’d just allow Him to. But maybe that’s just something very unique to each person, and why there seems to be no simple answer..

No matter how difficult or challenging the act of forgiveness may seem, there’s ABSOLUTELY NO doubt about how important it is when it comes to restoration, both in terms of our relationship with God and with others, especially when it involves someone who has hurt us so deeply. One of the passages I find women most resistant to when discussing forgiveness is Luke 6:27-42, which says:
“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ’sinners’ lend to ’sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
He also told them this parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit? A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
Ouch! That really nails us, because it is so difficult in our flesh to do, yet it is a VITALLY important passage of scripture for ALL Christians to REALLY understand, but most especially to those of us standing for the restoration of our marriages. And it’s a passage ALL of us who find it so difficult to stop judging, criticizing and complaining about the behavior of our spouses need to read every single day, and maybe even several times a day, because when the Bible tells us to acknowledge God in all our ways or to commit ourselves to HIS way, THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS whether we like it or not! And if we want the blessings, protection and provision of God as we stand for our marriages and to experience His awesome promise of restoration, we had better get serious about learning what it means to walk in the grace and power of His spirit so we can CONSISTENTLY walk out passages like this in our daily lives, because when we do, WE WILL SEE THE RESTORATION OF OUR MARRIAGES! Otherwise, God would be a liar and it would make a mockery of His word, and we know that’s not true and that He wouldn’t let that happen!

As I often say, I NEVER cease to be amazed with the way the lord so faithfully confirms things to us over and over again, and this weekend was no exception. On Saturday, I talked to three women who were struggling with questions of unforgiveness, and wondering why they see God answering the prayers of others, and why they don’t see Him working in their lives and situations. I used something out of the above passage from Luke in response to each of their questions, because as it almost always does, it comes back to issues of unforgiveness and our natural tendency to judge our spouses; expecting them to act in accordance with OUR expectations, standards and values, and the resulting and inevitable disappointment and frustration experienced when they don’t.. As I shared with one of the women this weekend, many years ago an older and wiser woman once told me that I shouldn’t expect people to treat me the same way I’d treat them, because as long as I continued to do that, I was just setting myself up for disappointment. Well, she was right, and one of the important things we have to realize as we stand for the restoration of our marriages is that we can’t afford to place any expectations on our husbands (or wives), because ALL of our hope and expectation MUST be in the Lord and HIS ability to make the changes we and He desire in our mates! We CAN NOT convince or convict them of the sin in their life or the error of their way, but the Lord can and that’s where our prayers come in! But we also have to understand that harboring unforgiveness in our hearts toward our mates or anyone else, no matter what they are doing or not doing, is sin, and ANY kind of sin separates us from God, and He can not be in fellowship with us when we have unrepented sin in our lives. And repentance means we acknowledge and confess our sin, ask God AND our mates to forgive us, and then STOP sinning! So imagine my excitement and amazement when I saw Charles Stanley’s TV broadcast message Sunday morning, He Forgives Our Sin, which is an AWESOME message about forgiveness! It’s the first time I’ve ever heard anyone discuss the difference between the forgiveness of sin that occurs when we’re saved and then the need and requirement for forgiveness of sins committed after we’re saved, and the consequences of unrepentance. If anyone still struggles to understand that old familiar saying “once saved, always saved” (as one of the ladies and I actually discussed and disagreed about Saturday), Dr. Stanley answers that question too. And he makes it very clear why we can’t afford NOT to forgive or husbands and wives as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, because as I said earlier, we MUST rely on our prayers to move the Holy Spirit to convict our spouses of the sin in their lives, bringing about the repentance and changes we want, but God can not hear or answer our prayers when we harbor unforgiveness of any kind in our hearts. This is a VERY important message for all Christians to listen to and understand, so please take the time to listen to it several times if necessary, and take notes. And take time to seriously read and study, line by line, the above passage of scripture from Luke, because when we learn to walk that out in our lives, we will truly begin to experience the peace and joy we long for! As Dr. Stanley says in his message, no amount of prayer and fasting will do us any good if we have unforgiveness in our hearts, because it separates us from God, which often explains why so many women say they don’t feel the Lord’s presence in their lives the same way they used to. And just to help make the point, here are a few verses about forgiveness we all need to understand and MEMORIZE as we stand for the restoration of our marriages:

Matthew 6:12
Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”

Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Luke 7:47
Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little.”

Romans 4:7
“Blessed are they whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.

2 Corinthians 2:7
Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.

Hebrews 10:18
And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 2:12
I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name.

And if we still have any doubt how serious the Lord is about forgiveness and how seriously He takes it when we fail to forgive others as He has forgiven us, just read Matthew 18:23:35!

When I began working on this post earlier today, my intention was to find a few verses to go along with a link to an awesome online praise and worship website I just discovered, but as I started looking at some of the passages of scripture about the power and importance of praise, I realized that this is a topic that really deserves and needs a lot more time and attention than I can give it right now. So for the time being, I’m just including some of the verses that make it abundantly clear that we should NEVER stop praising the Lord. They also teach us some of the things to praise Him for, how to praise Him, and what happens when we do. One of the most important things I tell women when I first speak with them is to keep praise and worship music on all the time, because it’s virtually impossible to be depressed or discouraged when we’re lifting up the name of Jesus, and singing His praises. So this morning I decided to see if I could find something on the internet that offered around the clock praise and worship music, and I was thrilled with what I found! So you can listen to AllWorship Praise & Worship Basic Stream here, and more information about it, including additional options, is available at this link.

And the following passages of scripture are really just a few to give us a much better understanding of the importance and power of praise and worship:

Psalm 100:3-5
Know that the LORD is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture. Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 34:1-5
I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips. My soul will boast in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

Psalm 18:47-49
He is the God who avenges me, who subdues nations under me, who saves me from my enemies. You exalted me above my foes; from violent men you rescued me. Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD; I will sing praises to your name.

Psalm 96:1-3
Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the LORD, all the earth. Sing to the LORD, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples.

Isaiah 42:10
Sing to the LORD a new song, his praise from the ends of the earth, you who go down to the sea, and all that is in it, you islands, and all who live in them.

Psalm 149:1
Praise the LORD. Sing to the LORD a new song, his praise in the assembly of the saints.

Hebrews 2:12
He says, “I will declare your name to my brothers; in the presence of the congregation I will sing your praises.”

Psalm 135:3
Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good; sing praise to his name, for that is pleasant.

Psalm 147:1
Praise the LORD. How good it is to sing praises to our God, how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

Psalm 30:4
Sing to the LORD, you saints of his; praise his holy name.

Psalm 33:1
Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous; it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

Psalm 47:7
For God is the King of all the earth; sing to him a psalm of praise.

1 Chronicles 16:9
Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.

Psalm 68:32
Sing to God, O kingdoms of the earth, sing praise to the Lord, Selah

Romans 15:11
And again, “Praise the Lord, all you Gentiles, and sing praises to him, all you peoples.”

Psalm 66:2
Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious!

Psalm 63:5
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

Psalm 71:8
My mouth is filled with your praise, declaring your splendor all day long.

Psalm 145:21
My mouth will speak in praise of the LORD. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.

Psalm 75:9
As for me, I will declare this forever; I will sing praise to the God of Jacob.

Psalm 104:33
I will sing to the LORD all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

Psalm 7:17
I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High.

Psalm 9:2
I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.

Psalm 21:13
Be exalted, O LORD, in your strength; we will sing and praise your might.

Psalm 59:17
O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.

Psalm 71:22
I will praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to you with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel.

Psalm 71:23
My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you— I, whom you have redeemed.

Psalm 101:1
I will sing of your love and justice; to you, O LORD, I will sing praise.

Psalm 66:4
All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name.” Selah

Psalm 68:4
Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds — his name is the LORD— and rejoice before him.

Jeremiah 20:13
Sing to the LORD! Give praise to the LORD! He rescues the life of the needy from the hands of the wicked.

Jeremiah 31:7
This is what the LORD says: “Sing with joy for Jacob; shout for the foremost of the nations. Make your praises heard, and say, ‘O LORD, save your people, the remnant of Israel.’

Psalm 150:2
Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.

Revelation 5:13
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, singing: “To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be praise and honor and glory and power, for ever and ever!”

Daniel 2:19-20
During the night the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision. Then Daniel praised the God of heaven and said: “Praise be to the name of God for ever and ever; wisdom and power are his.

2 Chronicles 5:13-14
The trumpeters and singers joined in unison, as with one voice, to give praise and thanks to the LORD. Accompanied by trumpets, cymbals and other instruments, they raised their voices in praise to the LORD and sang: “He is good; his love endures forever.” Then the temple of the LORD was filled with a cloud, and the priests could not perform their service because of the cloud, for the glory of the LORD filled the temple of God.

2 Chronicles 20:20-22
Early in the morning they left for the Desert of Tekoa. As they set out, Jehoshaphat stood and said, “Listen to me, Judah and people of Jerusalem! Have faith in the LORD your God and you will be upheld; have faith in his prophets and you will be successful.” After consulting the people, Jehoshaphat appointed men to sing to the LORD and to praise him for the splendor of his holiness as they went out at the head of the army, saying: “Give thanks to the LORD, for his love endures forever.” As they began to sing and praise, the LORD set ambushes against the men of Ammon and Moab and Mount Seir who were invading Judah, and they were defeated.

Dear Lord,

There’s SO much to be thankful for today, but most of all we give thanks for your amazing love and your willingness to demonstrate it by sending your precious son to die on a cross for us so we could be forgiven for our sins and spend eternity with you in heaven! We thank you for your presence in our lives every day and for the power of the Holy Spirit and the work He does in and through us. We thank you for your word and the wisdom and understanding we gain by reading and meditating on it. And we thank you for all the angels you send to guard and direct us and all the ways they assist and minister to us at all times. We thank you for the people in our lives that we love and who are very special and significant to us in so many ways. And we thank you for those who love us and that you’ve allowed us to be significant in their lives as well. We thank you for your infinite mercy and grace and for the capacity you give us to forgive and love unconditionally. We thank you for peace that passes all understanding and that we can be content in all circumstances, because we know you work EVERYTHING out for good when we love you and are called according to your will and purpose for our lives. And we even thank you for the difficult times in our lives when you taught us what it means to be fully reliant on you, and for the many things you teach us in such times and that they’ll ultimately be used for your glory. We thank you for our abundance of material blessings, and we ask for your forgiveness for our lack of gratitude for how truly blessed we are in comparison to those who suffer from lack of things we consider essential, like clean drinking water and nutritious food, good health and a roof over our heads. We truly are blessed beyond belief, but we often fail to realize just how blessed and fortunate we are and to give you thanks for all that your hand has provided.

There are SO many things to give thanks for in my personal life, Lord, that it’s hard to know where to begin! But first, I have to thank you for the call you’ve placed on my life for FAM Ministries and the most awesome sense of joy and fulfillment it’s brought to my life. And I thank you for the tremendous growth I’ve experienced in my own walk with you and for the opportunity and ability to study and be blessed by your word. I thank you for each of the women (and men) you’ve brought to the ministry as I pray for your most awesome blessings to be poured out into their lives today and always. I pray that they will continue to draw closer to you, Lord Jesus, because I know that when we’re in right relationship with you, all of our relationships are right. So please lead them into the righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit you told us your kingdom is all about. And I thank you for the special blessings each of the ladies are to me personally, because they’re all such special and unique women, and I treasure each and every one of them. So I pray for YOUR wisdom, patience and guidance in all that I say and do, and pray that it ALWAYS leads us back to your word and a greater reliance on your power and love. I pray for your special blessings in the homes that are missing dads or moms this year and thank you for the work we know you’re doing in the lives and hearts of the absent husbands and wives to bring healing and restoration to their families. I thank you for the work I’ve already seen you do in the lives of so many of our ladies, Lord, and thank you in advance for all that I know you will be faithful to complete in the coming year, and for the many more families that will be restored by this time next year!

We love you and give you all praise, honor and glory. So please lead us to live our lives as yielded and willing vessels so that your work can be accomplished through us and others will be able to see your love and goodness in us. Be Thou glorified in our lives today and always. In the most awesome name of Jesus Christ, we pray and give thanks! Amen.

Here’s a very appropriate message from Joyce Meyer for today, A Thankful Attitude. So let’s all remember to give thanks to the Lord for all the wonderful things He has blessed us with, and remember that Colossians 4:2 says Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. May you all be blessed this Thanksgiving Day and always!

It’s always SO exciting when we’re blessed with a greater understanding of something in God’s word, as I was this morning concerning angels and how our words affect their ability to minister to us and work on our behalf! All week Joyce Meyer has been teaching on one of my favorite topics, which is the power of the spoken word, and particularly the power released by speaking the word of God out loud. But this morning she focused more on the power our words have concerning the activities of angels, and like so many things once she pointed it out, I couldn’t believe how I ever missed something so obvious!

Most of the FAM Fellowship members are very much aware that I’m most impatient when I hear them speak negatively about their husbands, situations or futures, but that’s because I know the power such words have to bring the very things we don’t want into our lives, and it literally makes me cringe when I hear them. However, I also remember how difficult it was for me to learn the same important principle, even when others were trying to teach it to me, so I understand how difficult it is to grasp. But once we start focusing on it more as we read the Bible and listen to messages about it from preachers and teachers like Joyce Meyer and Creflo Dollar, we’ll never be able to speak negatively again without being convicted, and that will change us and our lives very significantly!

Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV) is probably one of the most often quoted verses when it comes to the power of the spoken word, because it says Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. And when we put that together with Luke 6:45, which says The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. along with Proverbs 4:23, which says Keep your heart with all diligence, For out of it spring the issues of life., we start to see the connection between the things we speak and the issues affecting our lives. That’s why understanding the power of our spoken words is SO important.

One of the verses Joyce used about angels in her message today was Hebrews 1:13, which says Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation? When we first begin studying what the Bible teaches about angels, we’re usually surprised to learn that their role is to serve and minister to us, just as we see they did for Jesus in Mark 1:13, which says and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him. And according to Exodus 23:20, we see that angels very specifically guard and direct us, because it says “See, I am sending an angel ahead of you to guard you along the way and to bring you to the place I have prepared. And we see the amazing power of angels to guard and protect us confirmed in this awesome passage from Psalm 91:9-16, which says If you make the Most High your dwelling—even the LORD, who is my refuge-then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.” And what an AWESOME example we find of exactly how that works in this passage from Acts 12:4-11, which says After arresting him, he put him in prison, handing him over to be guarded by four squads of four soldiers each. Herod intended to bring him out for public trial after the Passover. So Peter was kept in prison, but the church was earnestly praying to God for him. The night before Herod was to bring him to trial, Peter was sleeping between two soldiers, bound with two chains, and sentries stood guard at the entrance. Suddenly an angel of the Lord appeared and a light shone in the cell. He struck Peter on the side and woke him up. “Quick, get up!” he said, and the chains fell off Peter’s wrists. Then the angel said to him, “Put on your clothes and sandals.” And Peter did so. “Wrap your cloak around you and follow me,” the angel told him. Peter followed him out of the prison, but he had no idea that what the angel was doing was really happening; he thought he was seeing a vision. They passed the first and second guards and came to the iron gate leading to the city. It opened for them by itself, and they went through it. When they had walked the length of one street, suddenly the angel left him. Then Peter came to himself and said, “Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent his angel and rescued me from Herod’s clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating.”

While there’s so much to learn about angels and how they function, one of the MOST important verses for us to fully understand concerning angels is the one Joyce used in her message today, Which is Psalm 103:20 (NKJV), because it says Bless the LORD, you His angels, Who excel in strength, who do His word, Heeding the voice of His word. That tells us that they excel in strength, that they DO His word and they HEED the VOICE of His word, which tells me it’s pretty important to SPEAK His word, especially since John 6:63 tells us The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.

Here’s Joyce’s awesome message, The Power Of Words, which I strongly encourage everyone to take (or make) the time to listen to. And here are links to The Secret Power Of Speaking God’s Word - Part I from Monday and, The Secret Power Of Speaking God’s Word - Part II, from yesterday. It is my most sincere hope and prayer that listening to these messages will finally help all of us realize the importance of avoiding speaking negatively about our situations as we stand for our marriages, but even more the importance of literally speaking God’s word into being in our lives and the lives of those we love!

The following is an excerpt from Judy Rousseau’s email message today, in which she included this message from Tom, who kindly gave me permission to share it with our visitors as well. It’s something he posted on another marriage restoration website, and it’s definitely something we can all benefit from the wisdom of, because totally surrendering and trusting God is not just the ONLY thing we can do…it’s the BEST thing we can do! Here’s Tom’s message:

“Hi All,

My own marriage is facing divorce, so I am not trying to make myself out to be an expert. I’ve been fasting and praying for nearly 5 months for a breakthrough, for the miracle of restoration back to what God intended marriage to be. I participate at this website and a few others, both asking for prayer and of course praying for others and their needs. One thing I see common to most of them is that we are looking for a quick
fix from God. I know I was, especially the first few weeks.

Through reading His Word, praying, reading other books and the wise counsel of many from these sites as well as true Christian friends I’ve learned one thing. Our God is a God of miracles, but in His Timing, not ours. What does that mean? You have to persevere in prayer. The battle is His, absolutely, but He wants more from us than an emergency prayer of help. He wants us completely and wants our own personal walk with Him restored. I feel my time in the wilderness, like many of the people who post here, is a “gift” from God. One that causes pain, but is for my good and I pray for the good of my wife and all others involved. I keep a list of marriages in trouble who’s names I get from sites like this one. The problem is, many of the people posting the prayer requests never return. And I for one wonder if it is because their prayers were answered or was their turning to God a one shot attempt at reconciliation, financial needs met, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m praying for you either way. But if you are serious about obtaining God’s help one prayer may be all it takes for Him to complete the miracle. In fact He could do it without that prayer. In Him nothing is impossible. But He wants and deserves more.

He wants our obedience, worship and many other things, but most of all He wants our love. He’s already shown His perfect love for us. And His Promises are perfect, but if you really seek Him you’ll see there are conditions to His answering. One is demonstrating faith that He can do it. Another is persisting in your requests, not giving up even when your “worldly” wisdom says you should. A miracle, which is what most of
us are praying for, is exactly that, miraculous. Something we don’t deserve, a gift from a loving Father. Pray His Word to Him, keep asking, but make sure you are asking is within His Will. Marriage restoration is, winning the lottery isn’t. He has promised us to meet our needs, so praying for a specific deliverance from a financial problem certainly is in His Will. I’m still a relative babe in the Word so I am also asking for what we all need, His Wisdom to discern His Will, revelation of it for my life and marriage, etc.
I could go on, but I’m afraid I’m sounding critical as it is and that’s the last thing I want to pass on. What I’m saying is, in our brokenness He finds us and heals us. Only through Him is that possible. It’s not always easy, He never said it would be. But I believe it will be worth it and every day He tells me it will. I’ve “heard” His voice enough to recognize it in my heart when I’m deep in prayer. And He’s answered specific questions through emails who’s subjects in the morning address a question I prayed about in no uncertain terms the night before. He speaks to us in ways we will understand. And it truly is that quiet, still voice that you hear and feel peace from. But as I have found, you have to listen in order to hear.

Beyond prayer I can do nothing to save my marriage. But I am thankful for it because that is the only hope anyway. I can’t and don’t offer advice on marriage or finances, I’m completely unqualified. I’m even more unqualified to give any kind of spiritual advice beyond relating my own experiences. But if you are having problems and really want the Lord in your life so you have a rock to turn to I am happy to provide you with the places that have helped me in my relationship with Him and have provided so much for me. It’s up to you after that, but like this website, there are a lot of wonderful resources out there where you can really be led to Him if you’re willing to go and give you the encouragement you’re seeking regardless of the mountain you’re facing. Until my wife and I separated I would not have believed it myself. I thought I could handle anything on my own. Now I know, and I’m thankful for the fact, that I can handle nothing without Him.

He once clearly spoke to me while I was fasting and praying. I was done praying or thinking for the day and was reaching for the light switch to go to sleep. I wasn’t thinking about anything except getting up for work on time the next day. I had been praying a lot in His Word for my marriage to be restored and felt much better than I had when I’d started. But as I reached for that switch I heard Him in my heart,
unmistakably Him, and all He said was “Trust Me”. We both knew what He meant. And that’s all I’m really trying to say to anyone else facing their own mountain of circumstances, Trust HIM!
Tom”

Judy’s reply: “Thank you, Tom, I pray that the Lord will use your letter to deeply minister His heart and desire for relationship to those who will read it. I pray that they will not give God a deadline in which to work but rather give their lives completely to Him. (Tom, you’ve got such a gift for writing. May the Lord continue to give you opportunity to use it. To God be the glory!)”

Since it’s very unpopular to teach what the Bible says about suffering in the lives of Christians, most of us were probably very unprepared when we found ourselves in the midst of it and found it necessary to stand against the gates of hell for the restoration of our marriages. In fact, I was surprised to find out how much the Bible actually says about how much Christians suffer, and why God uses it and how we’re supposed to react to it. Dr. Charles Stanley’s TV broadcast yesterday about how God uses suffering in the lives of Christians is what prompted my study today, and one of the most interesting things I observed is that some of the men God loved and used the most are among those who suffered the most. But that’s certainly not in keeping with everything we hear about what is supposed to happen when we become Christians. Yet when we look at the life of Job, David, Jesus and Paul, just to name a few, we see that they all experienced great suffering and persecution, which should make us want to understand it a lot better, especially when we consider how different the outcome of their lives might have been if they had not dealt with their suffering exactly as they did. But other than saying that suffering is always intended for the ultimate glory of the Lord and that when we’re in the midst of it, we have to trust Him by putting our hope in His word and praising Him, I think the best thing to do is just share the following passages of scripture which I selected from the many that are available, to help us better understand how our suffering is used for the Lord’s glory and how to react to whatever suffering we encounter in our lives as Christians:

Job 30:26-27
Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness. The churning inside me never stops; days of suffering confront me.

Job 36:15-16
But those who suffer he delivers in their suffering; he speaks to them in their affliction. “He is wooing you from the jaws of distress to a spacious place free from restriction, to the comfort of your table laden with choice food.

Psalm 22:24
For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.

Psalm 42:9-11
I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?” My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?” Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Psalm 119:49-51
Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. The arrogant mock me without restraint, but I do not turn from your law.

Psalm 119:107
I have suffered much; preserve my life, O LORD, according to your word.

Psalm 119:152-154
Long ago I learned from your statutes that you established them to last forever. Look upon my suffering and deliver me, for I have not forgotten your law. Defend my cause and redeem me; preserve my life according to your promise.

Isaiah 38:16-18
Lord, by such things men live; and my spirit finds life in them too. You restored me to health and let me live. Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. In your love you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back. For the grave cannot praise you, death cannot sing your praise; those who go down to the pit cannot hope for your faithfulness.

Isaiah 54:4-5
“Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood. For your Maker is your husband—the LORD Almighty is his name—the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth.

Mark 5
He said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.”

Acts 5:41
The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name.

Acts 9:15-17
But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.” Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.”

Romans 5:1-5
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 8:17-18
Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

2 Corinthians 1:7-9
And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about the hardships we suffered in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life. Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.

Philippians 1:27-30
Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see you or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have.

1 Thessalonians 1:6
You became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit.

1 Thessalonians 2:2
We had previously suffered and been insulted in Philippi, as you know, but with the help of our God we dared to tell you his gospel in spite of strong opposition.

2 Thessalonians 1:4-5
Therefore, among God’s churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring. All this is evidence that God’s judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering.

2 Timothy 1:7-13
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. So do not be ashamed to testify about our Lord, or ashamed of me his prisoner. But join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God, who has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time, but it has now been revealed through the appearing of our Savior, Christ Jesus, who has destroyed death and has brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. And of this gospel I was appointed a herald and an apostle and a teacher. That is why I am suffering as I am. Yet I am not ashamed, because I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him for that day. What you heard from me, keep as the pattern of sound teaching, with faith and love in Christ Jesus.

2 Timothy 2:8-10
Remember Jesus Christ, raised from the dead, descended from David. This is my gospel, for which I am suffering even to the point of being chained like a criminal. But God’s word is not chained. Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they too may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory.

2 Timothy 3:10-15
You, however, know all about my teaching, my way of life, my purpose, faith, patience, love, endurance, persecutions, sufferings—what kinds of things happened to me in Antioch, Iconium and Lystra, the persecutions I endured. Yet the Lord rescued me from all of them. In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil men and impostors will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.

James 5:10-11
Brothers, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

1 Peter 1:6-7
In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

1 Peter 2:19-21
For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps.

1 Peter 2:23
When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

1 Peter 3:13-15
Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. “Do not fear what they fear; do not be frightened.” But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

1 Peter 3:17
It is better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

1 Peter 4:12-16
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name.

1 Peter 4:19
So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

1 Peter 5:8-11
Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

The above passages leave little doubt that suffering for the sake of Jesus is an inevitable part of being a Christian, and listening to Charles Stanley’s message, He Uses Our Suffering, will really help us understand God’s purpose for our suffering and how we need to respond to it by putting our hope and faith in His word as we trust and praise Him…no matter what!

God is SO AWESOME and He never ceases to amaze me! Yesterday, I had several email messages to respond to, and spent a lot of time on the phone, including getting acquainted with two of our new ladies. So I worked on my SOF post in between doing that, and one of the email messages inspired the post I worked on throughout the day, because I had told someone that idle hands are the devil’s workshop, which I thought was in the Bible, but later discovered is NOT true. Or at least I couldn’t find it. Unfortunately, that’s the way the day continued going as I searched for the passages of scripture to back up what I felt the Lord had led me to write, which is unusual. But I did find a few verses to make the point that God disapproves of idleness and that He doesn’t want us to waste time, because He has a purpose for our lives now and every day, and He expects us to do whatever He puts in front of us to do each day no matter what else is going on in our lives. When I run into problems while working on my post, I usually check my spirit to see if that’s really what the Lord wants me to write about, but I wasn’t getting that message in my spirit yesterday, so I kept plugging away at it! My posts usually start with a title (even though I might change that a little somewhere in the middle or after completing it) and then I search for the passages of scripture to back it up, unless the Lord has already brought them to my mind, as He often does. I finally had all of the scripture I intended to use and had it all formatted, with a pretty good idea of how to express what I wanted to write, when I took another call last night. Then when I got off the phone and returned to the computer to complete the post, everything I had worked on all day was gone! I couldn’t believe it! I took that to mean that was NOT the right message after all and I just hadn’t picked up on it. So I started working on another messaged based on one of the conversations I had with one of the ladies during the day, but that wasn’t working either! So guess what I did? I gave up and went to bed!

So imagine my amazement when I listened to Joyce Meyer’s TV broadcast this morning and her message was about not being too busy (or distracted by our marital problems) to live our lives with purpose! And what a perfect passage of scripture she use, which is Ephesians 5:15-17 (AMP), because it says Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise (sensible, intelligent people), Making the very most of the time [buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil. Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is. But the verse before that is especially important for everyone who feels lost, dead, or empty because their mate has walked out on them and said he or she does not love them anymore and doesn’t want anything to do with them, because he or she loves someone else and they just want to be happy…blah, blah, blah! Because Ephesians 5:14 (AMP) says Therefore He says, Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall shine (make day dawn) upon you and give you light. Oh what an AWESOME promise that is, and so, so true! The Lord just wants us to awaken to Him and HIS direction for our lives so He can live in us and shine through us!

In her excellent message this morning, Joyce makes the point that God places the same call on all of our lives for each and every day of our lives, which we tend to overlook because we’re expecting and looking for something “big” and “unique” (which He probably does have planned for us), but He can’t move us into that bigger and better plan until we’re faithful in the “little” stuff or basics that He calls all of us to do. Just think about it. If God tells us to do something a certain way, and promises that when and if we do that, He will do something specific for us, and then if we don’t do things the way He told us to and He rewards our disobedience with the blessing He promised anyway, wouldn’t that make a mockery of His word? Wouldn’t that make Him a liar? Well, we know God is not a liar and He’s not going to be mocked! Galatians 6:7 makes that very clear, because it says Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. So if we want to reap the awesome blessings and promises of God we need to start paying a lot more attention to whether or not we’re sowing the seeds of obedience and doing things HIS way instead of ours! That means reading and studying the Bible so we know what His word teaches us about His ways and what He wants us to do, because just as Deuteronomy 32:47 tells us They are not just idle words for you—they are your life. By them you will live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to possess.” And until we demonstrate to the Lord that He can trust us to be faithful and obedient concerning the “little things” He asks and expects us to do, we have no right or reason to expect Him to give us or call us to more, as He told us in Luke 19:17 (NASB), which says “And he said to him, ‘Well done, good slave, because you have been faithful in a very little thing, you are to be in authority over ten cities.’

The following verses are just a few to give us a better understanding of how God views being idle, including idle words and thoughts (notions), and help us understand why it is something to be avoided, because He expects us to “occupy” until He returns, and while HE works on the restoration of our marriages and families. He just wants us to DO our part, and TRUST Him to do HIS!

Proverbs 31:27
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Isaiah 58:12-14
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings. “If you keep your feet from breaking the Sabbath and from doing as you please on my holy day, if you call the Sabbath a delight and the LORD’s holy day honorable, and if you honor it by not going your own way and not doing as you please or speaking idle words, then you will find your joy in the LORD, and I will cause you to ride on the heights of the land and to feast on the inheritance of your father Jacob.” The mouth of the LORD has spoken.

Colossians 2:18
Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you for the prize. Such a person goes into great detail about what he has seen, and his unspiritual mind puffs him up with idle notions.

1 Thessalonians 5:14
And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

2 Thessalonians 3:6
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, we command you, brothers, to keep away from every brother who is idle and does not live according to the teaching you received from us.

2 Thessalonians 3:11
We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies.

1 Timothy 5:13
Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.

Luke 19:13 (KJV)
And he called his ten servants, and delivered them ten pounds, and said unto them, Occupy till I come.

And here’s Joyce’s awesome message, Where Are You Going In Such A Hurry?, which is filled with great advice for all of us, especially when we’re in a time of waiting while the Lord works on our behalf for the restoration of our marriages. So I hope we’ll all make a much greater effort to live EVERY day with purpose, and that purpose is to bring praise, honor and glory to the name and kingdom of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

It’s always so neat when we hear a verse or passage of scripture that we’ve heard so many times before that we practically know it by heart and all of a sudden the Holy Spirit gives us a totally new way to look at it! That’s what happened as I was reading Charlyne Cares this morning, in which she quotes Luke 8:46-48; the story about the woman with issue of blood. It was like a light bulb went off in my head, and instead of hearing about the woman’s healing, I heard that when we stay close enough to Jesus to touch His garment, power goes out from Him and we are healed and will live in peace! I couldn’t wait to go check out the rest of the passage and couldn’t believe how different it looks to me now. Here’s Luke 8:43-48, which says And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. “Who touched me?” Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said, “Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you.” But Jesus said, “Someone touched me; I know that power has gone out from me.” Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had been instantly healed. Then he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace.” And in The Amplified Bible it says And a woman who had suffered from a flow of blood for twelve years and had spent all her living upon physicians, and could not be healed by anyone, Came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His garment, and immediately her flow of blood ceased. And Jesus said, Who is it who touched Me? When all were denying it, Peter and those who were with him said, Master, the multitudes surround You and press You on every side! But Jesus said, Someone did touch Me; for I perceived that [healing] power has gone forth from Me. And when the woman saw that she had not escaped notice, she came up trembling, and, falling down before Him, she declared in the presence of all the people for what reason she had touched Him and how she had been instantly cured. And He said to her, Daughter, your faith (your confidence and trust in Me) has made you well! Go (enter) into peace (untroubled, undisturbed well-being).

Wow! There’s SO much about this woman’s situation that we can relate to as we apply it to our own situations as we stand for the restoration of our marriages. First, she had tried everything known to man to resolve her problem, as we all have. But NOTHING worked, as we’ve all discovered! In total and utter desperation she turned to Jesus, thinking that she just needed to get close enough to Him to touch His garment, because she hoped and believed He would heal and restore her, but she had to fight against the pressure of the crowds to do that, which is something we know ALL about too! Then when she got close enough to Him, at the very moment she touched Him, she was instantly healed and delivered, and was immediately aware of the Lord’s healing power in her body and life, just as we are.

Since Jesus already knew who had touched Him, it’s obvious He didn’t need to ask who it was. But He knew how important it was for the woman to give her testimony, because if He hadn’t insisted on knowing who it was, and if the woman hadn’t come forward and testified, we wouldn’t know about her miraculous healing and restoration today, and her testimony wouldn’t have given the hope and encouragement to the countless people it has for generations, just as it does today. And the same thing is true about our praise reports and testimonies, because they’re evidence and proof of the Lord’s awesome power and faithfulness, which are intended to be used to bring hope and encouragement to those who need it, just as we all have at some time or another, especially during difficult times. That’s why 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

And a very important point I noticed for the first time, which always seems to be overlooked and lost in this passage is how the woman realized that her act of faith could not go unnoticed by Jesus! wow! How wonderful and reassuring it is to be reminded that our Lord and Savior will NOT fail to notice when we demonstrate and walk in faith, putting all of our trust and confidence in Him as this woman did. And Jesus’ reminder that it is BY FAITH IN HIM that we are healed and restored; that our prayers are answered, and through which we are able to live in peace, which means untroubled, and with undisturbed well-being, is not at all insignificant!

Finally, as I read this passage again this morning, John 15:4-5 came to my mind, because it says Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. How much more peace and joy we’d all experience as we stand for our marriages, and face every challenging situation in our lives if only we’d remember these powerful words from Jesus and make staying close to Him (close enough to touch Him) a priority in our lives instead of trying to figure out how we can do everything for ourselves. We just need to take Him at His word and believe and rely on the awesome promise we have in Psalm 37:4-6, which says Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. So let’s do our best to be more focused on staying close to Jesus; delighting in Him; committing ourselves to doing things HIS way; and trusting in Him, with absolute confidence in His power and faithfulness to bless us with healing and restoration!

While there are SO many issues and challenges we struggle with as we stand for the restoration of our marriages, the most difficult even after learning to deal with and overcome many others is waiting and putting all of our trust and confidence in God’s perfect timing! In the world of instant gratification we live in, waiting is not often required, yet it is a very essential part of standing for marriage restoration. And HOW we wait is very important in terms of the message we send to God and the world about our faith in His power and faithfulness. And the reason it’s so important to wait for God’s perfect timing is because there are often many time factors that could very significantly impact our situations, and many times these are things we don’t even know about, but God does. That’s why we have to put our trust in Him and rely on His awesome promise in Romans 8:28 (NASB), which says And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. The following passages of scripture help us understand how important timing is to God, because He has everything in HIS control and He had everything concerning us planned out long before our existence. They also teach us a lot about what God expects us to do while we’re waiting and what some of the awesome blessings and rewards of waiting for Him will be:

Psalm 69:13
But I pray to you, O LORD, in the time of your favor; in your great love, O God, answer me with your sure salvation.

Ecclesiastes 3:11
He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:17
I thought in my heart, “God will bring to judgment both the righteous and the wicked, for there will be a time for every activity, a time for every deed.”

Ecclesiastes 7:14
When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

Isaiah 64:4
Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him.

1 Corinthians 2:7
No, we speak of God’s secret wisdom, a wisdom that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.

1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.

1 Timothy 6:11-16
But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. In the sight of God, who gives life to everything, and of Christ Jesus, who while testifying before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, I charge you to keep this command without spot or blame until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which God will bring about in his own time—God, the blessed and only Ruler, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone is immortal and who lives in unapproachable light, whom no one has seen or can see. To him be honor and might forever. Amen.

1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Psalm 5:3
In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Psalm 27:14
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 33:20
We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield.

Psalm 37:7
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Psalm 37:34
Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it.

Psalm 119:166
I wait for your salvation, O LORD, and I follow your commands.

Psalm 130:5
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.

Isaiah 26:8
Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.

Lamentations 3:26
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

Isaiah 30:18
Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion. For the LORD is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait for him!

Last Sunday Dr. Charles Stanley’s TV broadcast message was about God’s Schedule, and it’s a very encouraging message that reminds us of how important timing is in our lives as Christians, especially when we examine the lives of people in the Bible and see what a difference timing made in their lives. So let’s be wisely patient and wait to see what God has in store for us when the time, HIS TIME, is right!

One of the most difficult challenges when ministering to women whose husbands have left them (especially when adultery is involved) is getting them to stop focusing so much on what their husbands are doing wrong long enough to focus on what they’re doing and have been doing wrong. But even more important than that, is learning what we need to do to release the power of God to bring our husbands into alignment with His word. As we often

discuss, the first rule is to win our husbands WITHOUT A WORD, which is so totally contrary to our nature, but if women could truly understand the power released by walking in accordance with the plan and wisdom God reveals in 1 Peter 3:1-6 (KJV), we’d find it absolutely easy to do! Yet, isn’t that what faith is all about…believing and knowing something we have absolutely no logical reason to believe?

This morning Dr. Creflo Dollar continued his awesome Bible study on this powerful passage of scripture, and while this is a very important message for ALL married women, whether experiencing marital problems or not, it’s even more important for those who are. And since I can’t think of anything else to add to such a great message, here’s the link to the second part of Friday’s message from Dr. Dollar, The Supportive Roles of Marriage, which every married woman needs to listen to and bookmark for those times when we might need to be reminded of the wisdom it contains! And here’s a link to Friday’s SOF post, A Vital Matter of Obedience and Submission, which includes a powerful testimony from one of the FAM Fellowship members about what God has taught her about walking out these invaluable principles as He brings healing and restoration to her marriage and family. Be blessed!

As so often happens with the Lord, a repeating theme in the ministry over the past ten days or so has centered around “without a word”, “gentle and quiet spirit” and “submission” so I was thrilled to see that it was the topic of Creflo Dollar’s TV broadcast message today…and what an awesome message it is! Regular visitors to the site, and the FAM members know how vitally important I believe this is as a principle of marriage restoration. In fact, I have even stated that if I could only use one passage of scripture to instruct and counsel all women standing for the restoration of their marriages, it would have to be 1 Peter 3:1-6, which says Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

I believe this passage of scripture is something every woman standing for marriage restoration should read daily if that’s what it takes to make it sink in! And I hope and pray that married women who are not experiencing marital problems at this time know and understand how critically important it is to help keep their marriages strong and vital. Unfortunately, as discussed in yesterday’s SOF post, Learning To Walk In The Spirit, walking in obedience to this passage of scripture is totally contrary to our human nature and that’s why it’s so difficult to do. Yet, I’m firmly convinced that it makes the difference in whether or not we experience the restoration of our marriages, which the Lord has very clearly demonstrated time and time again in the past two weeks. Many FAM members could testify to the connection between their ability to do that and the relationship they have with their husbands. And now when I hear about total chaos and strife in a relationship, I’m fairly confident that the woman is not interacting with her husband in obedience and submission to the wisdom of Peter’s counsel. So I just wish there was a way to help make all of us understand the awesome power that is released when we submit to our husbands in everything just as Ephesians 5:24 tells us, Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

An easy way to help remember and simplify how to walk out the principles of submission and a gentle and quiet spirit is S-A-V-E, which means if it doesn’t Submit & Support, Agree & Affirm, Venerate & Validate, Encourage & Edify, then DON’T say or do it! It really is that simple, so I encourage everyone to try doing that for a day or so and see what happens. You won’t believe it. And this applies to EVERYONE and EVERYTHING when it comes to the words coming out of our mouths and everything we do concerning our husbands.

Earlier this week one of the FAM members shared a beautiful testimony of how the Lord has been working to bring healing and restoration to her marriage and family, and since I’m very much aware of how the Lord has changed her in this process, I was quite pleased when she felt led to share something about what she has learned on the FAM Fellowship website this morning. So I asked her if I could share it with the visitors to this site as well, because I know it’s a very important message and that it will be a blessing to everyone who reads and understands it. So, here’s the message from Jenn, which she simply and appropriately titles “Quiet and Gentle”:

Ladies,
Something has been laid on my heart, and now I feel it pressing on me and that the Lord is leading me to share one of the most important principles I’ve learned about standing for our marriages; and it’s also scripturally sound. In 1st Peter 3:4 it states “Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” I cannot tell you how many times this has come in to play in my stand. And I know that God is honoring me because I am standing firm on being quiet. Yes, ladies, our husbands can be cruel. They can be down right mean and vicious. But remember, it’s the Devil not them that is directing their mannerisms right now. However, when we argue back, yell, nag, complain, snap at them…Guess what? What man would want to be with a woman that acts that way? That is not the attractive nature of a woman’s beauty that God created. Look at what it states in the above verse, “unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit”. That is where our beauty is supposed to come from. Beauty from within. If you go further, Proverbs 27:15 states “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.” Proverbs 19:13 also states “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant drip.” I don’t know about you but a constant dripping rain is very depressing to me. What do you think it is doing to our husbands when we are constantly picking at them? Look at Proverbs 21:19…“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.” And lastly, Proverbs 25:24…“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Do you see the common phrase in these scriptures? Quarrelsome Wife. The definition of quarrelsome is argumentative. This also means cantankerous, difficult, irritable, confrontational, grouchy, hot-headed… and it’s totally against scripture for a Christian woman. I have pretty much come up with a new saying for myself and I hope it helps you ladies too. I think about this a lot during the day. When things get tough, or I don’t agree with what my husband is saying or doing. I zip it up and I pray it up. And I don’t mean calling up all 20 prayer partners or TV prayer lines that are willing to listen to me whine and cry about the situation to have them pray for me. I mean getting on our knees in our prayer closet and crying to God, surrendering it to Him. I pray that this discussion will speak to each of you for encouragement and many blessings.
Jenn

And then the perfect message to follow Jenn’s words of wisdom and experience, is this awesome message from Dr. Creflo Dollar, The Supportive Roles of Marriage, which is an in depth study of the role of a wife based on the above passage of scripture from 1 Peter 3. This is one message every woman standing for marriage restoration should bookmark and visit often!

The second part of this message from Dr. Dollar is just as good, so there’s a link to it in the next SOF post, Winning Our Husbands Without A Word. Ladies, we need to listen to both of these messages often!

As women standing for marriage restoration and learning how to walk out the biblical principles of marriage restoration, we know all too well about that ever present struggle between flesh and spirit. But we also know that the spirit MUST win if we’re to have the victory we desire, because Philippians 3:3 says For it is we who are the circumcision, we who worship by the Spirit of God, who glory in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh— And we can’t ever afford to forget Ephesians 6:12, which says For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. And that’s not just a reference to our battles with others, because many of the strongest spiritual battles we’ll ever fight are those fought for control between the realm of our flesh (or soul) and the realm of our spirit. And just as He always does, the Lord tells us exactly HOW to win that battle in John 6:63, which says The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life. And Hebrews 4:12 further explains, saying For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. And then 2 Corinthians 10:4-6 tells us The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And that means making sure that our thoughts line up with the word, which is Christ according to John 1:1-4, which says:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men.
And that’s confirmed in John 14:6, which says Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’

So no matter how we cut it, there’s a very direct link between our relationship with Jesus and the time and effort we dedicate to reading and studying His word, and the only way we’ll ever overcome the battle between our flesh/soul and spirit is through the awesome power of God’s word. But Satan never wants us to submit our flesh to the control of God’s word, and the very sin that caused him to fall from grace is his most effective weapon as he does his wicked best to keep us from experiencing spiritual victory, and that is the sin we’re all way too familiar with, which is pride.

As we study the Bible in search of marriage restoration principles, it’s obvious why submitting to the Lord’s word creates a lot of conflict within, because it requires us to TOTALLY ditch our pride, and that’s the only defense and protection mechanism most of us know. So we HAVE to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God with absolute faith and confidence that HE will lift us up in due time. And that’s just NOT natural, BUT it IS what walking in the spirit and giving our spirit the control it must have over our flesh requires. Yesterday, I was greatly blessed by the introduction to a website I was not familiar with, www.Soleyn.com, and the following is an excerpt from one of the studies I listened to this morning, in which Sam Soleyn stated:
So, the process by which we are transformed in our thinking is a process of death and resurrection where God takes you through and brings you through. The reason, obviously, and I’ve made this point but I’ll belabor the point to hammer it home, the reason that this is God’s way is that as long as we remain in the soul; as long as our soul governs our activities we are always going to operate out of the need to provide for ourselves and the need to protect ourselves, we’re always going to do that. And we will do that by total self-reliance on these three lusts: what needs to be done, how can it be done and can I do it, the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, and this is the entrapment that Satan has set for us.
I know everyone standing for marriage restoration relates to that statement, so I strongly encourage everyone to listen to this message, Transitioning From Self-Reliance, which is an awesome lesson about the battle between our flesh/soul and spirit, which is something we really have to understand BEFORE learning how to walk in the spirit. And the transcript, with the text of the Bible references inserted, is available at this link, which might be preferable for some, because Soleyn is a very deliberate speaker. But he’s an excellent teacher and I’ve already learned an awful lot from the six lessons I’ve already listened to, so I’m pretty sure I’ll be using more of them in future post, especially when they are so applicable to the issues we face as we battle the gates of hell for the restoration of our marriages. So be blessed!