Don’t Be Deceived By Deception
As I was reading the following message from Bob Steinkamp this morning, I couldn’t help remembering how so many of the women I minister to are crushed by the things their husbands say when they leave, such as “I don’t love you anymore.”; “I just want to be happy.”; “I’m not happy.”; and even “I never really loved you.” , And it occurred to me how ironic it is that even though we know they’re being deceived by the devil, we readily accept their words as the truth, thereby allowing ourselves to be deceived by deception. So instead of being devastated when our husband’s make plans contrary to the word of God, we need to remind ourselves of Proverbs 16:1, which says To man belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the reply of the tongue. That’s why what our husbands think they feel in their wickedly deceived hearts is TOTALLY irrelevant, because what God says is what goes. So instead of allowing ourselves to be devastated by our husbands’ hurtful words, we have to instead SPEAK HIS word, because Proverbs 10:20 says The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. And we couldn’t possibly have better evidence of that than this wonderfully encouraging message from Rejoice Marriage Ministries today. What a blessing Bob and Charlyne are to all of us as we stand for the restoration of our marriages…no matter what we see or hear!
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On Tuesdays Bob shares from the prodigal’s perspective, after being
remarried to Charlyne for 19 years.
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“WHEN DID YOU FIRST THINK ABOUT GOING HOME?” -
Was it when I was driving away from our home, with my possessions
crammed in the old blue Dodge, en route to a motel 20 miles away? My
sobbing wife could not see it, nor could you, but the pull homeward
for a prodigal spouse becomes stronger with each trip we make to our
vehicle, removing our possessions from the home where they should
be. Nevertheless, like a determined swimmer, working against the
tide, we push on.
Was it when I witnessed an accident on that same trip to the motel?
Traffic was light on Stirling Road, and no one else had stopped, so I
pulled over to render aid. Was it when the victim asked for someone
to call his wife, and I realized that I would have no wife to call?
Was it when the investigating officer asked for my address, and I had
to dig out the motel’s card? Was it a week later when I received a
thank you card from the wife of that recovering victim?
Did I first think about going home after I had moved into room 104 at
Cavey’s Motel when I moved the bed so that light at night would come
through the window, just like it did in our bedroom at home?
Was my first thought about going home later that same day when I
called the female co-worker with whom I had become too close, and
discovered she had other plans that night? Was it when I ate alone?
Was it when I tossed and turned, attempting to fall asleep, alone in
a strange place?
Did I first think about going home when I became involved in sin? Fun
for a moment, but then I had to endure hearing the Holy Spirit call
my name.
“And these are but the outer fringe of his works; how faint the
whisper we hear of him! Who then can understand the thunder of his
power?” Job 26:14
Did I consider going home that next morning when the thought of where
I was living, and the family I had rejected, hit me like a dull thud
as I awoke? Did I think about home while I was searching for the
least-wrinkled white shirt, since I had no iron?
Did I first think about going home that day when something happened
at work and my first reaction was to call Charlyne and share it with
her, until I realized less than 24 hours before I had said there
would be no more Charlyne?
Did I think about going home that day at lunch when that female co-
worker reminded me how different we were, and that we had no long-
term future together?
Did I think about going home that evening when I exited I-95 and
headed for my motel, where a darkened room awaited me, instead of
continuing on north to a home with dinner in the oven and where a
loving and faithful wife and three great kids could be found?
Yes, my friend, I thought about going home at each of these times,
and I suspect many more that I cannot recall, and these examples were
all in the first 24 hours of a two-year plus journey of separation
and divorce through the “far country.” Yes, your absent mate is also
thinking about going home.
“The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the
clefts of the rocks and make your home on the heights, you who say
to yourself, “Who can bring me down to the ground?’ Though you soar
like the eagle and make your nest among the stars, from there I
will bring you down,” declares the Lord.” Obadiah 1:3-4
There are some “bad words” in marriage ministry that you need to
learn to avoid. One of these is “should.” No one except for Jesus
Christ can tell you precisely what you should or should not do.
Two other words are “looks” and “seems.” Your prodigal is not nearly
as happy and their life is not nearly as content as it looks to you.
Do you know the innermost thoughts of the one you love? Only the
Lord does. So let’s leave how things look and seem up to Him. Do not
base your stand for marriage restoration on how things look or seem.
“O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit
and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my
going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.”
Psalm 139:1-4
Another no-no word for standers might be “say.” Do not base your
stand on what you hear your prodigal say. Yes, the defense of the
one you love is to “say” they are happy, or to “say” that the other
person has you beat by a mile. They may “say” divorce is on the way,
and things may even go that way, but weekly we hear about prodigals
who cannot go through with the divorce they initiated. Do you suppose
that deep down they are thinking about going home?
My conclusion, based on personal experience, and over sixteen years
of hearing from other prodigals, is that we all think about going
home over and over and over. Then why don’t we? Because we have been
taken captive and our thoughts are not our own.
Thinking about going home might be like a bag of popcorn popping. At
first, a pop now and then. As things heat up, the pops become more
frequent, almost endless. If you will continue to stand and to pray,
there will come a time when the timer of heaven sounds and your mate
will realize they have no option, but to come home.
Now that you can see how much your prodigal is thinking about coming
home, may you make your life a spiritual incubator where a hurting
mate would find comfort and the peace they seek. You are standing
with our Lord God. Daily you are becoming more like Him. Daily you
should be asking the Lord to protect and touch your prodigal, and
bring them home to God and to you.
When did I first think about going home? Deep inside, I never
stopped thinking about it. Yes, my words were different, as were my
actions, but something within never let go of that one-flesh
relationship. May you do everything that the Lord has for you to do
to pave the way home for your prodigal spouse with the unconditional
love of Christ and total forgiveness. Yes, the Holy Spirit brought
me home, but Charlyne had the door open.
“Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let
him turn to the Lord, and he will have mercy on him, and to our
God, for he will freely pardon.” Isaiah 55:7
Blessings,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.®
Post Office Box 10548
Pompano Beach, FL 33061 USA
Rejoice Marriage Ministries
You can read more from Bob in his books that are available in the
Rejoice Stop Divorce Christian Bookstore
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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quoted by permission and are from
the Holy Bible; New International Version® Copyright© 1973, 1978,
1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan
Publishing House. All rights reserved.
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