Why Are You Standing?
The FAM members and regular visitors to our site know that I often stress that standing for our marriages MUST be done in obedience to the Lord and not just because we want our spouses back, especially in light of the warning in James 4:3, which says When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. And the following message from Bob Steinkamp really illustrates the importance of that. Because if we stand for any reason other than the call we know God has placed on our lives, we won’t be able to withstand all of the wicked and evil schemes and tactics Satan has at his disposal to make us give up, especially when our spouse remarries! It’s just not possible to have the strength, wisdom and grace needed to stand for the restoration of our marriages without the anointing that comes ONLY through KNOWING it’s what God wants and calls us to do. So I urge everyone who is not yet certain of that to resolve it through serious Bible study, prayer and fasting, because once you do, you will have peace, faith and confidence that are not possible otherwise.
-
On Tuesdays Bob shares from the prodigal’s perspective, after being
remarried to Charlyne for 19 years. You can read more from Bob in
his books, available in the Rejoice Bookstore
-
“DID YOU EXPECT CHARLYNE TO GIVE UP IF YOU HAD MARRIED THE OTHER WOMAN?”
Without question, No, I would not have expected her stand to change. Her praying and fasting might have intensified, but I am certain she would not have given up on me.
How can I be so confident that my “marrying” the other woman would not have chased Charlyne away. Because of two sets of reasons. First, she had shown me so, and secondly, she told me so.
I pray that you can get the picture that Charlyne’s stand was with the Lord, and nothing I did would dissuade or discourage her. Trust me, without illustration, I did attempt to chase away this “ex,” whose prayers I thought were wrecking havoc in my life. My precious wife saw and heard far too much during her stand, in my attempts to see if she was for real, but nothing caused her to even blink. I now know that she did a lot of crying in the presence of the Lord, but not in my presence. Yes, Charlyne showed me in every way, that she was standing for the duration, not until I took a specific action.
When you declare, “I’m standing until my prodigal marries someone else,” what have you just done? You have told the Enemy what it will take to make you give up. He knows what area to target.
Secondly, Charlyne told me that she was not giving up on me, regardless of attempts to legalize my adultery. Remember her, “eighty and in a rocking chair” comment? I heard it more than once, but never in a controlling or angry way. In fact, it was a real comfort to know that she loved me that much.
Charlyne also told the other woman about “eighty and in a rocking chair.” This, also, was not done in confrontation, but over a cup of coffee, in a meeting instituted by the other woman. That day Charlyne was obviously on the other woman’s field, but she declared this was an event where she and her God would win. During that meeting, and many other times, Charlyne was required to defend her stand. Can you do that right now? She did not have time to call her prayer partner, nor to contact a marriage ministry, to ask why she believed what she did. My wife was so far into God’s Word that she knew the reason for her faith that I was coming home.
There are standers who will tell you that when their prodigal enters a non-covenant marriage, their stand will end. Someone has quoted scripture out of context to them. The stander has no idea how the verse applies, or even if it applies to their marriage. Instead of dissecting the verse, and asking the Holy Spirit to speak truth to them as they cross-reference the passage with other scriptures, they only hear, “If he/she remarries, you can’t stand.” Be prepared for some mis-informed soul to volunteer how you cannot pray to break up another “marriage” to restore your own. In God’s eyes that adulterous mess is not a marriage! Why not? Is your marriage a covenant? If your mate is already married to you, how in the world can they be “married” to someone else? God and you are standing in agreement for your covenant marriage. If you have listened to others, and not sought God for yourself on the matter of non-covenant marriages, you are allowing someone else to dictate and to live your life for you. That is the trait of a cult, not Christianity. God’s Word is truth. It will stand up to your study. Please do not be afraid to search the scriptures for yourself. If something is unclear, or when you have questions, ask God and not man. That is the only way that you will develop a stand for marriage restoration that will stick.
Charlyne and I know how you hurt at the thought of your mate attempting to “marry” someone else. I need to give you another perspective on prodigals marrying. To prodigals, marriage is no big deal. How can I be so sure? We walked out on a covenant mate, didn’t we? It’s going to be much easier to walk out on the non-covenant, when the Holy Spirit moves us, in response to someone’s faithful and strong stand for a healed marriage.
“I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws.
I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to
shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my
heart free.” Psalm 119:30-32
Blessings,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.®
Post Office Box 10548
Pompano Beach, FL 33061 USA
Rejoice Marriage Ministry
- - - - -
We were so blessed Sunday afternoon to meet standers from several states at Rejoice Paducah. It is humbling to meet people like Bob, who drive alone from northern Michigan, or Jim, who traveled six hours for an afternoon of encouragement for standers. Others had absent husbands watching children so they could come to Paducah. At least two had interrupted family vacations to meet with us. Charlyne and I pray a special blessing on each home represented there, and send our appreciation to everyone who attended.
- - - - -
Rejoice Stop Divorce Christian Bookstore -
- - - - -
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quoted by permission and are from the Holy Bible; New International Version® Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.
- - - - -
Copyright© 2006 Rejoice Marriage Ministries Inc®. For reprint permission
Contact us