Are Our Prodigals REALLY Welcome To Come Home?
Wow! Some times the truth REALLY hurts, and I know this message from Bob Steinkamp in tomorrow’s Charlyne Cares certainly has that potential, but I thank the Lord for how he shares the truth with total frankness and honesty. And now I just pray that everyone who reads it will have the wisdom to recognize how critically important it is and then the grace to put it into practice! And I thank Bob once again for another AWESOME message!
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On Tuesdays Bob shares from the prodigal’s perspective, after being
remarried to Charlyne for 19 years.
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THE OPEN DOOR POLICY -
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and
the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he
who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Matthew 7:7
One day I did an Internet search for the term “open door policy.” In seconds, 3.4 million matches were returned to me. I spent the next half hour reading how an “open door policy” is in effect today for everything from immigration issues, to teen dating, even to parents visiting at a day care center.
The short definition of open door policy is “allowing equal opportunities and access.” Did you realize that prodigals spouses can go just about anywhere they desire, thanks to open door policies, yet for many, the home they left has a closed door policy to their returning?
Well-intended spouses are standing for marriage restoration, yet they have stipulations in place before their prodigal’s return.
Let’s assume that you heard a knock on the door right now, and found your prodigal standing there, luggage in hand. How would you respond?
The textbook answer might be, “I would welcome then in with rejoicing!” Let’s be honest with each other. Would you have an “open door policy” or a “twenty question policy” in place? Would you have to know why they came home, what they had been up to, and what happened to the other person? Would you be demanding they not come home until they are right with God? Would your beloved hear a list of ground rules before they even stepped across the threshold?
When a sinner comes to Christ, what is demanded of them to receive the free gift of eternal life? It is as simple as ABC; Acknowledge Jesus is Lord. Believe He can forgive sin. Confess their sins. In His earthly ministry, Jesus did not tell sinners, “Go clean up your act, and then you can come to me.” Praise God, He accepts us just as we are. Yes, the Lord expects change to lie ahead, but the homecoming to Him is unconditional.
If you have someone, in their attempts to be helpful, who is filling you with thoughts of what your prodigal must do before they come home, ask them to point out in scripture where Jesus put demands on people to change before coming to Him. There are none. It is often easier for a prodigal spouse to get into Heaven than back into their own home.
Prodigal spouses are testing the waters of going home all the time. You may have heard statements that began with, “If I ever came home…,” or “Some day, if by a miracle, I should come home…”
Prodigals are testing the waters by the questions they ask children.
They test the water by what they do for the stander. Are you announcing an open door policy right then, or are you giving stipulations? What are your children overhearing you tell friends?
Does your prodigal spouse know they are welcomed home right now, in any condition and under any circumstances? It matters not if your mate left yesterday, or ten years ago, the one you love needs to know they will always have a place to call home. As a returned prodigal, I can assure you there is no feeling like waking up, day after day after day, and being hit with the reality of the consequences of what we have done to a family. The antidote to that ever-consuming poison is knowing that we are welcomed back at home. It may take months, or years, of that daily shock, followed by the daily antidote of the (often unseen) unconditional love of our spouse, and the wooing of the Holy Spirit, but there will come a day when the prodigal will “come to their senses” and simply say, “What’s the use? I would be better off at home.” (Hosea 2:6-7) That is when prodigals come home.
During my Internet search, I also discovered reports of organizations promoting their open door policy, but then acting otherwise. If you have an open door policy in anticipation of a prodigal’s return, be careful that you really mean what you say. It is our desire to instruct you, in God’s ways, of not only welcoming your mate home, but keeping them there. That means standing for life, regardless of the condition of your marriage.
How have we made it almost twenty years after restoration? It is not because I am a perfect husband, (although I am now a faithful husband). It is because Charlyne has never stopped praying, never stopped standing, for our marriage. The open door policy that was in effect on Seventh Street on July 7, 1987 has never changed.
The prayers of a wife who never stopped praying have also brought me back from death’s door more than once. Today we have three young adult children who respect the prayers of their Mother, because they witnessed her stand. When there is an emergency in any of their families, they still call Mom because they know she prays, and that her prayers receive answers.
During the past sixteen years of ministry, the Lord has allowed me to get to know thousands of standers. Of them all, the woman I know best, my wife Charlyne, is still Exhibit “A” in my book. Why? Because she instituted an open door policy when she began to stand, and that has never changed. I came home to a loving, praying wife, who was filled with unconditional love, and that remains unchanged today. You need to be following Jesus, but if you want an earthly example, I commend my girl to you.
“Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice
and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my
throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his
throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the
churches.” Revelation 3:20-22
Blessings,
Bob Steinkamp
Rejoice Marriage Ministries, Inc.®
Post Office Box 10548
Pompano Beach, FL 33061 USA
Rejoice Marriage Ministries
Rejoice Marriage Ministries Bookstore -
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Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quoted by permission and are from
the Holy Bible; New International Version® Copyright© 1973, 1978,
1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan
Publishing House. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked
(AMP) are taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright © 1954, 1958,
1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by
permission.
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Copyright© 2006 Rejoice Marriage Ministries Inc®. For reprint
permission please see this link
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